Cisco

Go ahead, take a sip.

Cisco, aka liquid crack, is a "beverage dessert wine", bottled by Canadaigua Wine in New York. If you go to their website, you will get the IMPRESSION that Cisco wine is for casual sundress parties with friends and loved ones out on the patio. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Cisco wine is a bum wine. It is for the lowest of the lowest of society, to go from zero to drunk in $0.99. Its alcohol content is 18%, and is known to cause hallucinations and psychotic episodes. Drinkers of Cisco wine have been known to strip naked and run down Market Street, screaming about the second coming of Raptor Jesus. The FTC has required the bottle to contain the warning "This is not a wine cooler -- 8 servings". fo0bar has tried Cisco wine, and shortly later felt the urge to grab a shopping cart and fill it with garbage bags filled with old clothes and cans.

Listen for these telltale phrases:

What they say	What they mean
"I need to go work on the Cisco."	"I'm going to go in back and get trashed."
"I'm Cisco certified!" (often listed on resumes)	"I'm an alcoholic and a liability to your company."
"The Cisco 6500 series can fit up to 13 modular blades and has a 256Gbps backplane, with fault tolerant power supplies."	"Graaa fa pbbbbt goddamnit. Hey man, got a quarter?"
"Cisco sued me for revealing its secrets!"	"I fell down the stairs."

Cisco (Disambiguation)

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• Cisco is also some computer company. They might have a search engine or something.
• Not to be confused with Sisqo

Links

• BumWine.com article on Cisco.
• That other Cisco.
• Cisco fan club!!!1111

	Cisco is part of a series on Food and Drink [BleurghOm Nom Nom]
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