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Four Loko: Difference between revisions

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{{pics}}
[[File:FOUR LOKO JEFFREE STAR.jpg|thumb|Four Loko is the drink of choice for attention whores]]
'''4 Loko''' is the offspring of a nigger's love for [[ghetto|malt liquor]] and [[opioids|purple drank]] with a [[bro|bro's]] love for [[Jenkem|energy drinks]] and [[cocaine]].  The drink has gained popularity amongst [[blacks|minorities]] and [[party| party bros and bitches]] alike due to its ability to make you blackout and mutate your liver for under 3 dollars.  The drink also comes in a variety of nauseating flavors, most of which resemble [[jenkem]] and are even more potent.  This attraction to a drink that both tastes like shit, and makes you feel like shit, attracted a lot of attention when townies began finding [[party hard|shit covered college students on their sofas, or passed out in the street]].  
'''4 Loko''' is the offspring of a nigger's love for [[ghetto|malt liquor]] and [[opioids|purple drank]] with a [[bro|bro's]] love for [[Jenkem|energy drinks]] and [[cocaine]].  The drink has gained popularity amongst [[blacks|minorities]] and [[party| party bros and bitches]] alike due to its ability to make you blackout and mutate your liver for under 3 dollars.  The drink also comes in a variety of nauseating flavors, most of which resemble [[jenkem]] and are even more potent.  This attraction to a drink that both tastes like shit, and makes you feel like shit, attracted a lot of attention when townies began finding [[party hard|shit covered college students on their sofas, or passed out in the street]].
<center>{{frame|<youtube>KVWWre8tn_U</youtube><p>This video just about sums up the 4 Loko experience.</p>|border=#00CC99|background=#00CC99}}</center>
 
<center>{{frame|1=<youtube>eah23WvLYsQ</youtube><p style="color:#ffffff;">This video will make you hungry.</p>|border=#000000|background=#000000}}</center>
{{Videoframe|vf1|{{roundy|.9em}}background-color:#00CC99;border:.5em solid #00CC99;margin:0 auto 1em auto;|font-weight:bold;
|<center><youtube>KVWWre8tn_U</youtube>
;This video just about sums up the 4 Loko experience</center>
|<center><youtube>eah23WvLYsQ</youtube>
;This video will make you hungry
</center>
}}
 
== Now in 8 Craptastic Flavors! ==
== Now in 8 Craptastic Flavors! ==
{|cellpadding=2 border=0 style="text-align:center; border: 1px #aaa solid; border-collapse: collapse; background: #ffffff;" class="wikitable sortable"
{|cellpadding=2 border=0 style="text-align:center; border: 1px #aaa solid; border-collapse: collapse; background: #ffffff;" class="wikitable sortable"
|- style="background: #ffffff;"
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|-
|-
|[[File:Cranberry-lemonade.png]]
|[[File:Cranberry-lemonade.png]]
|<font style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Courier New; color: #cc3333;">'''Cranberry'''</font><font style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Courier New; color: #000000;">-</font><font style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Courier New; color: #ffff33;">'''Lemonade:'''</font> {{quote|<@CASH> iss got
|<font style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Courier New; color: #cc3333;">'''Cranberry'''</font><font style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Courier New; color: #000000;">-</font><font style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Courier New; color: #ffff33;">'''Lemonade:'''</font>
{{quote|<@CASH> iss got
<@CASH> cranberreh lemma|CASH}}
<@CASH> cranberreh lemma|CASH}}




|-
|-
|[[File:Four Loko blue raspberry.jpeg|82px]]
|[[File:Four Loko blue raspberry.jpeg|110px]]
|<font style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Courier New; color: #0000ff;">'''Blue-Raspberry:'''  </font><font style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: arial; color: #0000ff;">Blue Raspberry, a flavor born from chemical engineering is now more loaded than ever, how did 4 loko manage to make an already unnatural flavor even more otherworldly?  Probably hydrochloric acid, but you'd be too fucked up to know anyway.</font>
|<font style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Courier New; color: #0000ff;">'''Blue-Raspberry:'''  </font><font style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: arial; color: #0000ff;">Blue Raspberry, a flavor born from chemical engineering is now more loaded than ever, how did 4 loko manage to make an already unnatural flavor even more otherworldly?  Probably hydrochloric acid, but you'd be too fucked up to know anyway.</font>
|-
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[[image:4lokotown.jpg|thumb|right|200px|SICK PARTY BRAH.]]
[[image:4lokotown.jpg|thumb|right|200px|SICK PARTY BRAH.]]
[[image:Fourloko_banhammer.jpg|thumb|right|200px|[[mods|Real Life mods]] about to deliver the [[banhammer]].]]
[[image:Fourloko_banhammer.jpg|thumb|right|200px|[[mods|Real Life mods]] about to deliver the [[banhammer]].]]
In October, 2010, after some [[party_hard| seriously wicked 4 Loko partying]] that caused [[bro| 20 some college bros]] to [[awesome|black the fuck out]], [[snob| east coast schools]] delivered a [[banhammer]] to the drink on campus.  Shortly after many other schools hopped on the banwaggon, and began lecturing their students about malt-liquor [[energy drinks]] such as 4 Loko.[http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/25/washington.students.overdose/]
In October, 2010, after some [[party_hard| seriously wicked 4 Loko partying]] that caused [[bro| 20 some college bros]] to [[awesome|black the fuck out]], [[snob| east coast schools]] delivered a [[banhammer]] to the drink on campus.  Shortly after many other schools hopped on the banwaggon, and began lecturing their students about malt-liquor [[Jenkem|energy drinks]] such as 4 Loko.[http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/25/washington.students.overdose/]


{{quote|4 Loko forced me to strip off all my clothes and go on a [[lolwut|naked rampage with blood, glass and feces.]] | 4 Loko Fan boy.}}
{{quote|4 Loko forced me to strip off all my clothes and go on a [[lolwut|naked rampage with blood, glass and feces.]] | 4 Loko Fan boy.}}
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{{Template:Addtoget|[[File:Colt 45 malt liquor.JPG|100px]]|[[File:Monster can.jpg|100px]]|[[File:Four Loko blue raspberry.jpeg|100px]]}}
{{Template:Addtoget|[[File:Colt 45 malt liquor.JPG|100px]]|[[File:Monster can.jpg|100px]]|[[File:Four Loko blue raspberry.jpeg|100px]]}}
==Gallery==
{{cg|The Internet loves Four Loko|4lokoidiotgallery|center|<gallery>
File:FOUR LOKO AFTER-FOUR-LOKO-ILL-BE-READY-2-FUCK.jpg|Asking for it
File:FOUR LOKO IDIOT 1.jpg|Only the classiest chicks drink Four Loko
File:FOUR LOKO IDIOTS 2.JPG|Your mom is a fan
File:FOUR LOKO TATTOO 1.jpg|The best life choices are made while drunk on Four Loko!
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:FOUR LOKO TATTOO 2.jpg|A winnar is you!
File:FOUR LOKO SCENE INSANITY WOLF.jpg|Scene Insanity Wolf recommends Four Loko
File:FOUR LOKO PHILOSORAPTOR.jpg|PROTIP: The answer is yes
File:FOUR LOKO no-more-four-loko-get-some-crystal-meth-and-everclear.jpg|Insanity Wolf always dispenses the best advice
File:FOUR LOKO INSANITY WOLF BONG WATER.jpg|Hardcore
File:Kramer 4loko.jpg|Giddy up
</gallery>|}}





Latest revision as of 04:54, 3 July 2014

Four Loko is the drink of choice for attention whores

4 Loko is the offspring of a nigger's love for malt liquor and purple drank with a bro's love for energy drinks and cocaine. The drink has gained popularity amongst minorities and party bros and bitches alike due to its ability to make you blackout and mutate your liver for under 3 dollars. The drink also comes in a variety of nauseating flavors, most of which resemble jenkem and are even more potent. This attraction to a drink that both tastes like shit, and makes you feel like shit, attracted a lot of attention when townies began finding shit covered college students on their sofas, or passed out in the street.

This video just about sums up the 4 Loko experience

This video will make you hungry

Now in 8 Craptastic Flavors!

Lemonade:For the bitches in the house, 4 Loko has made a flavor more acidic than vinegar, and more chemical ridden than Russia! Just like a Chernobyl lemonade stand!
Watermelon:What kind of malt liquor drink shouldn't come in watermelon flavors? Black by popular demand.
Fruit Punch: 4 Loko's spin on fruit punch tastes as if the offspring of a mad scientist and an alcoholic junkie spiked your highschool prom's punch bowl.
Cranberry-Lemonade:
   
 
<@CASH> iss got

<@CASH> cranberreh lemma
 


 
 

—CASH


Blue-Raspberry: Blue Raspberry, a flavor born from chemical engineering is now more loaded than ever, how did 4 loko manage to make an already unnatural flavor even more otherworldly? Probably hydrochloric acid, but you'd be too fucked up to know anyway.
Orange: Orange, like the tan of the bitch who's drinking it.
Lemon-Lime: If a meth-addict were to drink carbonated soda, this would be his version of Sprite.
Grape: The negro has a long history of enjoying grape flavored drinks (often referred to as "dranks"), first fortified wine took the streets, MD 20/20 stormed the ghettos, then Purple drank - a combo of cough syrup and grape soda filled black bellies world wide. Now, 4 Loko has invented a drank like no other, imagine 20,000 grape jolly ranchers packed into a can of malt liquor. O lawd. Someone get the rope!


Jonestown v2.0 and the BanHammer.

SICK PARTY BRAH.
Real Life mods about to deliver the banhammer.

In October, 2010, after some seriously wicked 4 Loko partying that caused 20 some college bros to black the fuck out, east coast schools delivered a banhammer to the drink on campus. Shortly after many other schools hopped on the banwaggon, and began lecturing their students about malt-liquor energy drinks such as 4 Loko.[1]

   
 
4 Loko forced me to strip off all my clothes and go on a naked rampage with blood, glass and feces.
 

 
 

— 4 Loko Fan boy.

Later that November the FDA and other old farts threatened to ban 4 Loko on the basis that it was unsafe. That same day alcoholics all over the world ran out and began to stock up as if it were prohibition all over again, sales were reported to be up by over 9000 percent. To most 4 Loko drinkers the FDA warning only made the drink seem even more badass and encouraged them to drink. 4 Loko was banned in Washington and Ohio after 18th Nov. 2010; banned in New York after 10th December 2010, Oklahoma after 3rd December 2010. Michigan after 4th December, 2010, and Utah PERIOD.

After the ban, 4 Loko reformulated their drink and took away all the shit which made it great. Original versions of the drink were selling on e-bay for 10 bux a can but the supplies have ran dry, and all that's left now is 4Loko Part 2: Mike's Hard in a Can. Nevar 4get.


Gallery

The Internet loves Four Loko About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Four Loko
is part of a series on
Food and Drink

[BleurghOm Nom Nom]