Mariozplaze

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Hey!		This article is an Encyclopedia Dramatica exclusive. This article is only for the discriminating lulz connoisseur. If you have any exclusive drama to add, click here.

WARNING! FACEPALM IMMINENT! This article may cause you to facepalm, because everything written is factual. Feel free to go spam every site this faggot goes to and tell him how retarded he is..

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

The 13-year-old drama queen IRL.

Zach is often the featured attraction at lemon parties.

Mariozplaze has a tiny dick, just like you.

Once upon a time, there was a teenager with some serious sexual orientation issues, though he was known to frequently profess to his heterosexuality. Zachary Zahradka, better known by the tween username Mariozplaze, ventured to join ED and wasted no time in blanking every fucking article he could, then promptly defaced what was once a beloved lulz repository with {{pain}}. These "coincidences" were no doubt caused by editing via his Wii... right?

Early Life

See Also: Defend the Children report and Dad's criminal history

	“	When my hair was bushy they called me mushroom-head, now they call me Q-tip, faggots...	„
	—Mariozplaze on Newgrounds, talking about what the mean kids at school call him

Mariozplaze was shat out of some cunt on May, 18 1997 in a small town in Connecticut. Unfortunately, his parents didn't know what he'd become today and failed to properly take care of him. Shortly after, he was sexually abused by his father upon discovering the degree to which his homosexuality had progressed. This imbued Mariozplaze with a burning lust for dick that he tried, and inevitably failed, to satiate. After moving to Florida, his father was v& for loving his son a little too much, leaving Mariozplaze with an massive and empty anus. After moving to yet another shitty small town, his mom married a stepdad who IRL cyber bullied him for his valid interests, and they all ended up in Ocala, Florida, where young Zachary attends Williston High School.

Before ED

He became something of an e-celebrity by interviewing his hick uncle who was a "singer" in a Christian metalcore band (he got kicked out, lol) while he was thoroughly unliked on the minecraft wiki. Upon depleting his 15 minutes of fame, he was banned forever from Roblox (where he played pseudo-minecraft all day, everyday as the autist he is). And... voilá, he bitched about it via his Youtube account. Perhaps this provides Freudian insight into the roots of his psycho-sexual traumas related to "unfair" bans. Or maybe he's just an insufferable cunt.

What a lovely family

Zach's criminal dad IRL, who happens to molest him on a daily basis.

His dog died, as he forced it to eat mushrooms that were in his garden in an attempt to emulate his favorite video game character.

“	Here's the deal: I had two pit bull/kurr mixes. They're both 3 months old and one's male and the other female, they both came from the same mother. Then on Thursday the male one seems perfectly fine in morning but when I got home from school I couldn't find him, I assumed he was fine because he usually goes under our house and plays and etc. But then the next morning we found him lying on the ground extremely weak, we took him inside and tried to give him water. We noticed there was blood around his anus and he was most likely in pain because his eyes were teared up. We took him to the vet shortly after and they couldn't find any parasites, but they gave us some medicine. When I came back from school (last day of 9th grade) he died 15 minutes later. We buried him out back and mourned for a long time. The symptoms he had (loss of appetite, weakness, bloody diarrhea, dry muzzle, and dehydration), points to distemper, but he died in approximately 1 day while distemper kills over weeks. I suspect it may have been mushrooms because they recently started growing in our yard, but I don't know if dogs are immune from those or not. My final hypothesis is him eating acorns, I saw him eating them sometimes and the shells may have torn up his little digestive system. Please, I need to know what happened!	„
—:(

Prelude

After blanking and vandalizing some articles, defending Uncyclopedia the best way a 15-year-old autist can, and saying douche to almost everyone that he interacted with (as psychologically ill 15-year-olds are wont to do) he received a well deserved ban... and there was much rejoicing.

Bawwlade

He created a sock account and e-protested to each of the users that undid his edits and advised him against his blatant faggotry by vandalizing their talks pages. As a typical 15 year old, he claimed that any blame rests squarely on the shoulders of "his brother."

After that clever statement, he declared himself to be a vigilante and said that he hates "fake bans" and will fight against them for ever as Anon would do against Scientology. He nearly called the cyberpolice, but that would have been too much faggotry, even for him.

He even thinks that he's the God of the internet [1]. This just proves how much of a faggot he is.

Zach trying to get out of ban.

	“	I HAVE NO CONNECTION WITH HIM SO STOP ASKING ME!! IT WAS MY F&*^ING BROTHER!!! Thank you :)	„
	—Polite Mariozplaze

	“	HOW CAN YOU DOUCHY ADMINS GET AWAY WITH DOING THIS TO YOUR USERS! YOU REALLY THINK OF YOURSELF AS PROFESSIONALS? CALLING YOUR USERS FAGGOTS AND SPAMMING THIER PAGES IS THE WORK OF JERKS! I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE CYBER POLICE FOR CYBERBULLYING AND TALKING TO THE SITE OWNER AS SOON AS I'M UNBANNED!!!! I'M NOT LYING SO YOU HAVE NO REASON TO TREAT ME LIKE CRAP!!!	„
	—This is what happens when people think they deserve respect by default.

	“	if you had eyes you'd see that, and if that's the case then I'm still contacting the cyber police unless I'm unbanned and you start treating people with respect	„
	—seriously?

Previous Quote | Next Quote

ED giving him the correct answer.

Naturally, he tried to dodge his ban by asking in Y!A how he might change his Wii's IP address; he was promptly instructed to become an hero by trolls.

Main Drama

Mah Quest for Adminship

Time went on and his ban expired. Immediately, he asked if there was any way that he could become a sysop; he was promptly told to STFU as he did not even have a single real contribution under his belt. Of course, he used the argument "I have a life" or "I get more girls than you" as if that actually applied OL.

“	I'm 15 and I'm taking all honors classes come my 10th grade year in a week. So I'm not a retard and I don't give a crap about what you think about me, and thanks to Zaiger's support I have the right to delete this subject soon. Have a nice life fucker!	„
—One of the plethora of reasons he should be a sysop (he also gets more girls than you)

He was banned again and, for some reason, was unbanned about 2 hours later.

Retrieving Dox?

Most users welcomed him politely, providing links to Mibbit, from which his IP could be obtained. He claimed that he could not not use it because he was editing from a Wii. However, he was too much of a nigger to hide himself and there was information about him spread all over the far corners of the internets, as well as that of his uncle who was a member of a popular Christian metalcore band called "Underoath". He was easily goaded, to the point of providing information about his Facebook account and his IP (67.232.48.188, IT'S FUCKING STATIC, packets ahoy!). His dox were published and lulz popped out. Read below for moar.

“	.............ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! MIKE SAID WHAT I DID WASN'T MY FAULT, I GET PERMABANNED ANYWAY, YOU SAY YOU CAN UNBANNED ME AND IT DIDN'T WORK!!!!! DID YOU EVEN NEED MY FACEBOOK OR IP? THIS SITE IS BULLSHIT!!!!!!	„
—Mariozplaze after getting his dox out

He was yet again permabanned, but he was granted the ability to edit his own talk page once more, which did not prevent acquisition of his dox:

Zachary Zahradka

Williston, Florida, USA.

Birthday: May 18, 1997

Yahoo! Answers

Gay sex can really permanently damage your penis, especially over long periods of time...

Ban evading, huh?

Two minutes googling pages and now he is a Vet

And in the end of the day, the moral is...

“	I'm ditching you guys for Uncyclopedia, also I wrote a hate rant against you guys! See ya the fuck never assholes!	„
—Neither the first nor the last lolcow to do this.

"Please remove this picture of my friend, many people on the internet has been harassed because of this kind of thing"

He was unbanned for the final time, and started to add terrible, unfunny content to articles. People still trolled him in his talkpage, yet he decided to defend himself with terrible, terrible arguments. He had become more trouble than his lulz were worth, and was the recipient of a fatal banhammer strike... for great justice.

YouTube

Him With His Unemployed Uncle

	“	Hey guys I'm in sort of a predicament here. I recently joined Encyclopedia Dramatica and I deleted some articles on accident. They banned me falsely thus making me mad. Then they got my Dox in exchange for unbanning me. Then they banned me forever, (for thinking my articles are unfunny, which, oddly are still there lol) blocking all communications to them, my IP address and e-mail. They took screenshots from this video and pasted d***ks onto it. (To be continued)	„
	—Oh lol.

	“	If you want to do something about this, go to the site and start erasing the crap posts (on the Mariozplaze article) and sending Zaiger, Hipcrime, Andrés, Mike the Great, and finally, Mr. Jonzz, hate mail about what they did! Let me know about what you did in a PM! (Note: I didn't do MOST of what they said I did!)	„
	—BAWWing in youtube.

	“	No, it didn't make it because I didn't finish it by the deadline and I was new to animation back then, I'm taking classes now. Anyway, you should tell that to the people that liked this. They are some of my best friends and would beat the crap out of you for what you did. >:O	„
	—Tough guy

Previous Quote | Next Quote

He has called upon his Whiteknights to vandalize this article, and bitched about everything here while fallaciously declaring that any content found on this page is patently false (playing one-man army mode). However, because he suffers from USI and no one even cared enough to reply to his comments (aside from trolls), nothing happened.

“	Naww, I'm just gonna go out with my friends to a party. Hey, why waste time flaming me when you have "med school"? Get a life	„
—Two hours later from that comment, he gets back on ED. A two hour party? Sure.

Apparently one of the admins has a soft spot for young mario and as all EDiots are forgiving people, he was promptly re-welcomed with open arms and the expectation that his future conduct will be deemed acceptable.

Out to Get ED

Having been successfully forgotten by everyone, this wasn't good enough for young Zachary, so he decided to vandalize the wiki by trying to delete this page. It didn't go over to well. Of course being a complete sperg, he can't actually do anything against ED, so he has to rely on reciprocity. Young Zach thinks it is called karma, but that is because he is retarded.

	“	Nor do I want to, I may be Atheist, but I do believe in karma and ED will get hit hard someday.	„
	—Zach, Showing that atheism equals autism

Mother Knows Best?

The mysterious 'smiling lady'...

ED goes in hard, no lube

Not long after having once again been granted free rein of the site an image of a smiling woman was uploaded to his article's talkpage by an enterprising lulz-merchant. It was initially viewed by some as an attempt to diffuse any tensions which might have remained following the initial lollercoaster however, it later transpired that there was more to this image than met the eye:

	“	HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!!! Get that pic of my mom of there!!!!!! OMG Zaiger you're gonna let them get away with this?	„
	— Mariozplaze

	“	YOUR MOM IS HOT ID LOVE TO FUCK HER UP THE ASS	„
	— Hipcrime

Previous Quote | Next Quote

At the moment, he is permabanned from ED, and he seems to have troubles coming back, we will miss you, Zachary.

Related Subpages

• Mariozplaze/defendthechildren
• Mariozplaze/dadcharges

See Also

• Mariozplaze's Talkpage Archive
• Talkpage History, fucking enjoy!
• Roblox
• Minecraft
• Anonymous
• Dox
• 13 year old boy

Links

• YouTube profile
• Youtube mirror
•  Facebook profile
• Jewgrounds profile
• Planetminecraft account
• Roblox profile
• Yahoo! profile
• Yahoo Answers profile
• His own shitty Web 1.0 abortion
• Chess.com profile
• pouetpu-games.com profile
• Canv.as plagiarism profile
• Ace Attorney blog comment
• For those interested in sending bulk & unsolicited e-mails, try: [email protected]

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