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Bacon: Difference between revisions

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Added the Joshua Flaherty bacon death story
imported>Cobaltcat
 
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<div style="position:fixed; right:10px; bottom:10px; overflow:visible;">[[Image:Bacon.png|You know you want it...|100px]]</div>
[[File:Bacon_-_Captions_-_Happiness.jpg|thumb|right|The meaning of life itself.]]
[[File:Bacon_-_Captions_-_Happiness.jpg|thumb|right|The meaning of life itself.]]
[[File:Bacon_-_Captions_-_Seed.jpg|thumb|right|The root of all bacons!]]
[[File:Bacon_-_Captions_-_Seed.jpg|thumb|right|The root of all bacons!]]
'''Bacon''' is a delicious variety of pig meat and the "B" in BLT. Although bacon can be found in almost any First World country, bacon is best known for this place on the American breakfast plate. Although bacon is often blamed for [[obesity]] and heart attacks, some mavericks amongst society recognize that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T_obaO46Bo bacon is good for you]. No matter which position one takes on the bacon debate, none can deny the [[internets|internet's]] [[fetish]] for bacon.
'''Bacon''' is a delicious variety of pig meat, the "B" in BLT and the perfect tool to make [[Jews]] regret their choice of religion. Although bacon can be found in almost any First World country, bacon is best known for this place on the American breakfast plate. Although bacon is often blamed for [[obesity]] and heart attacks, some mavericks amongst society recognize that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T_obaO46Bo bacon is good for you]. No matter which position one takes on the bacon debate, none can deny the [[internets|internet's]] [[fetish]] for bacon.


==The Definitive Guide To Bacon==
==The Definitive Guide To Bacon==
Maximizing the benefits of bacon can be tricky and is by no means an easy undertaking for the feint of heart.  Attacking this conundrum of coronary Confucianism is this handy dandy, step wise guide to building a better life through bacon!  Memorize these easy steps and you'll be well on your way to achieving a state of self-actualized bacon being.
Maximizing the benefits of bacon can be tricky and is by no means an easy undertaking for the faint of heart.  Attacking this conundrum of coronary Confucianism is this handy dandy, step wise guide to building a better life through bacon!  Memorize these easy steps and you'll be well on your way to achieving a state of self-actualized bacon being.
<br><br>
<br><br>
[[File:Bacon_-_Misc_-_How_To_Use_Bacon_-_01.jpg|600px|center]]
[[File:Bacon_-_Misc_-_How_To_Use_Bacon_-_01.jpg|600px|center]]
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<br>


==[[Bacony Faggotry]]==
==Bacony [[Faggotry]]==
In [[2012]], a 22-year-old [[Faggot|social media intern]] named Joshua [[Irish|Flaherty]] [[Wat|died of blood poisoning after shoving 10 pounds of bacon up his ass]] to win upvotes on [[Reddit]], because he was obsessed with bacon and [[internet]] [[memes]] like baconmania. No word on whether it was cooked or raw.
In [[2012]], a 22-year-old [[Faggot|social media intern]] named Joshua [[Irish|Flaherty]] [http://www.modernprimate.com/man-ingests-10-lbs-of-bacon-rectally-dies/ died of blood poisoning after shoving 10 pounds of bacon up his ass] to win upvotes on [[Reddit]], because he was obsessed with bacon and [[internet]] [[memes]] like baconmania. No word on whether it was cooked or raw.


==[[I Am Legend]]==
==[[I Am Legend]]==
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<br>
<br>


==Bacony Eats==
There are two kinds of people in this world... those that eat bacon... and those that are child raping [[Vegetarians|Muslims]].  Those in the later category are, to put it simply, wrong. They are abominations of overly abundant breeding of humans, if [[Hitler]] had done his job correctly he would have wiped them all out along with the [[Jews]] before gargling the proverbial shotgun mouthwash in a fit of Führer failure.
<br><br>


{{cg|Condiments|B6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Condiments_-_Baconnaise.jpg|Bacon infused mayo!
Image:Bacon_-_Condiments_-_Mustard.jpg|Mustard
Image:Bacon_-_Condiments_-_Salt.png|Salt
Image:Bacon_-_Condiments_-_Hot_Sauce.jpg|Hot Sauce
Image:Bacon_-_Condiments_-_Jam.jpg|Jam
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Condiments_-_Flavoring_Syrup.jpg|Bacon Flavoring Syrup
Image:Bacon_-_Condiments_-_Gravy.jpg|Gravy
Image:Bacon_-_Condiments_-_April_Fools_Squeezable.jpg|Squeezable Bacons!  Srsly!
</gallery>
|}}
<br>


{{cg|Fast Food|B7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Fast_Food_-_Ultimate_Bacon_Pizza.png|Bacon, Bacon, BACON Pizza!
Image:Bacon_-_Fast_Food_-_Ground_Bacon_Burger.png
Image:Bacon_-_Fast_Food_-_Meat_Tornado_-_01.jpg|Two Words:<br>Meat...<br>Tornado...
Image:Meat_tornado.jpg|Wurd up, yo!
Image:Bacon_-_Fast_Food_-_Bacon_Potato_Pie.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Fast_Food_-_Glass_Of_Bacon.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
<br>


{{cg|Snacks|B8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Snacks_-_Peanuts.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Snacks_-_Popcorn_-_01.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Snacks_-_Popcorn_-_02.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Snacks_-_Pringles.png
Image:Bacon_-_Snacks_-_Sunflower_Seeds.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
<br>


{{cg|Recipes|B9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
{{cg|Miscellaneous||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Foods_-_Bacon_Curry.png|Bacon Curry
Image:Bacon_-_Foods_-_Bacon_Explosion.jpg|The "Bacon Explosion"
Image:Bacon_-_Foods_-_Bacon_Wrapped_Turkey.jpg|Bacon Wrapped Turkey
Image:Bacon_-_Foods_-_Pancakes.jpg|Bacon Pancakes
Image:Bacon_-_Foods_-_Wrapped_Prawns.jpg|Bacon Wrapped Prawns
</gallery>
|}}
<br>
 
{{cg|Miscellaneous|B10|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Baby_Formula.jpg|Baby formula...no, really srsly srs.  o_O
Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Baby_Formula.jpg|Baby formula...no, really srsly srs.  o_O
Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Cheese_Slices.jpg|Cheese Slices
Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Cheese_Slices.jpg|Cheese Slices
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Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Spam.jpg|[[Spam]]!
Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Spam.jpg|[[Spam]]!
Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Tactical_Bacon.jpg|Tactical Bacon
Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Tactical_Bacon.jpg|Tactical Bacon
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Bacon - Desserts - Chocolate - Dipped - 03.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Hygeine - Lip Balm.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Fragrant - Scented Candle - 01.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Cake - 02.jpg
File:Bacon - Condiments - Mustard.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Misc - Plushie.jpg
File:Bacon - Fast Food - Glass Of Bacon.jpg
File:Baconnaise.jpg
File:Bacon - Fast Food - Ground Bacon Burger.png
</gallery>
</gallery>
|}}
}}
<br>


{{cg|Beverages|B11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
{{cg|Beverages||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Drinks_-_Vodka.jpg|How do you even describe VODKA as "refreshing"?
Image:Bacon_-_Drinks_-_Vodka.jpg|How do you even describe VODKA as "refreshing"?
Image:Bacon_-_Drinks_-_Diet_Coke.jpg|A limited production run product, never got past test marketing groups.
Image:Bacon_-_Drinks_-_Diet_Coke.jpg|A limited production run product, never got past test marketing groups.
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<br>


==Dessert Bacon==
At some point worldly scholars the world over came to the philosophical determination that bacon simply wasn't bad enough for your health all on its own and came to the conclusion that in order to truly maximize its heart stopping plenipotentiary it would simply have to be combined with confectionery components of a diabetic inducing class.  And thus, the art of dessert bacon was born!
<br><br>
{{cg|Sweet & Salty|B3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Food_Products_-_Snickers.jpg|The current penultimate form of the art!
Image:Bacon_-_Captions_-_Donut_Bacon_Cheeseburger.jpg|Falling into a close second is this donut bacon cheeseburger.
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Ice_Cream.jpg|Maple Bacon Ice Cream
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Spiced_Maple_Bacon_Cupcake_With_Maple_Buttercream.jpg|Spiced maple bacon cupcake with maple butter cream frostings, drizzled with freshly crumbled bacon bits.
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Candy_-_Lollipops.jpg|Maple Bacon Lollis
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Chocolate_-_Bar.jpg|Bacon Chocolate Bars
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Chocolate_-_Dipped_-_01.jpg|One of the simplest forms is to simply dip bacons into chocolates.
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Chocolate_-_Dipped_-_02.jpg|You really can't go wrong with this one.
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Chocolate_-_Dipped_-_03.jpg|Add some flair to play it up!
Image:Bacon_-_Foods_-_Bourbon_Bacon_Apple_Tarts.jpg|Bourbon Bacon Apple Tarts
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Candy_-_Gumballs.jpg|Bacon Gumballs
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Candy_-_Gummis.jpg|Gummi Bacons
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Candy_-_Jelly_Beans.jpg|Jelly Bean Bacons
</gallery>
|}}
<br>
{{cg|Bacon Cakes|B4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Cake_-_01.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Cake_-_02.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Cake_-_03.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Cake_-_04.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Cake_-_05.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Cake_-_06.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Desserts_-_Cake_-_07.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
<br>
==Generally Useless Shit==
With great obsession comes obsessive marketing!  With everyone under the sun firmly entrenched in the carnal pleasures of seared piglet flesh it comes as no surprise that every other two-bit hack is trying to "cash in" on the trend, with every manner of pointless products to liter your shelves and needlessly complicate your meandering little life with.  All of them of course grossly over priced, manufactured in Mexico or chiseled out in China via Commie, consumerist pandering, profiteers running slave labor shops shelling out shiny, shit grade, shlock to any available dumbfuck American idiot who will buy into it.
<br><br>
{{cg|Bacon Bric-à-brac|B1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Boobs-n-bacon.jpg
File:Bacon panties.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Board_Games_-_Big_Adventure.jpg|Because where would your life be without bacon board games?
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Board_Games_-_WWBD.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Clothing_-_Hat.jpg|Jam itself down your throat and choke you to death?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Clothing_-_Shoes.jpg|Wowza, these are stylin!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Clothing_-_T-Shirt.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Clothing_-_Suitcase.jpg|Classy!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Clothing_-_Wallet.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Fragrant_-_Air_Freshener_-_01.jpg|For those who can't get enough of free basing farm animals!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Fragrant_-_Air_Freshener_-_02.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Fragrant_-_Air_Freshener_-_03.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Fragrant_-_Scented_Bubbles.jpg|Air fresheners make some sense, but what in the frosty fuck are [[you]] gonna do with a bacon scented BUBBLE MAKER?!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Fragrant_-_Scented_Candle_-_01.jpg|Man Candles...for the manly man!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Fragrant_-_Scented_Candle_-_02.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Misc_-_Ornament.jpg|Because nothing goes together better than Christmas and bacon!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Misc_-_Plushie.jpg|For the bacon plushophile, it's your own little rape rag!  :D
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Office_-_Envelops.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Office_-_iPod_Cover.jpg|Servin up a side of douche-bacon with this little iHipster holder.
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Office_-_Lamp.jpg|Just how in the hell did we ever live without THIS?!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Office_-_Mousepad.jpg|It'll match perfectly with yer grease molested little grubbies.
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Office_-_USB_Drive.jpg|Doubles as an unintended doggy delight the minute you look away!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Hygeine_-_Bandages.jpg|Wrap yer boo-boos in bacony bandages.
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Hygeine_-_Floss.jpg|And once you finish bacon flossing you can regular floss the bacon grease from yer teeth.  Wow, it's like double yer duty, double yer dipshit!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Hygeine_-_Lip_Balm.jpg|Fat chicks love it!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Hygeine_-_Lube.jpg|Lube up with bonafide bacon grease for all yer bestiality business!
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Hygeine_-_Mints.jpg|And afterwards you can suck a regular mint to get rid of yer rancid bacon breath.  Double yer duty, double yer dipshit again!  :D
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Hygeine_-_Soap.jpg|Don't [[you]] <i>already</i> smell enough like a sow?
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Hygeine_-_Toothpaste.jpg|Nothing better than the shimmering shine of pork slather.
Image:Bacon_-_Non_Food_Related_-_Hygeine_-_Toothpicks.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
<br>


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
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Image:Bacon_-_Nearly_As_Bad_As_Soy_Bacon.jpg|Nearly as bad as soy bacon.
Image:Bacon_-_Nearly_As_Bad_As_Soy_Bacon.jpg|Nearly as bad as soy bacon.
Image:Bacon_-_Math.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Math.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Duct_Tape.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_6_Reasons_Bacon_Is_Better_Than_True_Love.png
Image:Best_Friends_Forever.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Salad.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Sexy_Bacon.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Crawling_Around.gif|Bacon is sentient and plotting its revenge.
Image:Bacon_-_Price_Hike.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Reject_Christ.jpg|Sign me up!
Image:Memes_-_Because_Fuck_You_-_12.jpg
Image:Bacon_-_Kermit_Eats_It.jpg
File:China Bacon Apartment.jpg|Bacon in [[China]].
File:280 percent bacon.jpg|Never enough.
File:Bacon_Grenade.jpg
File:Lovely bacon.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Candy - Gumballs.jpg
File:Bacon - Foods - Bacon Wrapped Turkey.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Cake - 03.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Fragrant - Air Freshener - 01.jpg
File:Bacon toaster.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Chocolate - Dipped - 02.jpg
File:Bacon - Snacks - Pringles.png
File:Bacon - Foods - Bacon Explosion.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Chocolate - Bar.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Clothing - Hat.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Office - iPod Cover.jpg
File:Bacon - Condiments - Baconnaise.jpg
File:Bacon - Condiments - Jam.jpg
File:Bacon - Pie.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Clothing - T-Shirt.jpg
File:BaconSandwichLOL.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Fragrant - Scented Bubbles.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Spiced Maple Bacon Cupcake With Maple Buttercream.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Cake - 05.jpg
File:Bacon - Snacks - Popcorn - 02.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Fragrant - Air Freshener - 03.jpg
File:Bacon - Fast Food - Bacon Potato Pie.jpg
File:Bacon - Snacks - Peanuts.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Cake - 01.jpg
File:Bacon - Snacks - Sunflower Seeds.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Office - Mousepad.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Misc - Ornament.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Hygeine - Floss.jpg
File:Bacon - Food Products - Snickers.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Hygeine - Toothpicks.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Hygeine - Bandages.jpg
File:Bacon - Condiments - April Fools Squeezable.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Office - Lamp.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Ice Cream.jpg
File:Bacon rasher with intact nipple.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Cake - 06.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Hygeine - Soap.jpg
File:Bacon - Fast Food - Ultimate Bacon Pizza.png
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Hygeine - Toothpaste.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Fragrant - Scented Candle - 02.jpg
File:Bacon - Foods - Bacon Curry.png
File:Bacon - Foods - Bourbon Bacon Apple Tarts.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Candy - Jelly Beans.jpg
File:Bacon - Condiments - Flavoring Syrup.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Clothing - Wallet.jpg
File:Bacon - Condiments - Salt.png
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Board Games - Big Adventure.jpg
File:Bacon - Condiments - Gravy.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Candy - Lollipops.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Office - Envelops.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Hygeine - Mints.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Hygeine - Lube.jpg
File:Bacon - Snacks - Popcorn - 01.jpg
File:Bacon - Foods - Wrapped Prawns.jpg
File:Bacon - Condiments - Hot Sauce.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Office - USB Drive.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Cake - 07.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Chocolate - Dipped - 01.jpg
File:Bacon hair.jpg
File:Bacon - Non Food Related - Fragrant - Air Freshener - 02.jpg
File:Bacon - Condoms.jpg
File:Bacon - Taco Shell.jpg
File:Bacon - Desserts - Candy - Gummis.jpg
</gallery>
</gallery>
|}}
|}}
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{{memes}}
{{memes}}
{{Timeline|Featured article March 18 & 19, [[2013]]|[[Las Pegasus Unicon]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Bombermanfan]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article March 18 & 19, [[2013]]|[[Las Pegasus Unicon]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Bombermanfan]]}}
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Animal Abuse]]

Latest revision as of 12:35, 6 June 2023

You know you want it...
The meaning of life itself.
The root of all bacons!

Bacon is a delicious variety of pig meat, the "B" in BLT and the perfect tool to make Jews regret their choice of religion. Although bacon can be found in almost any First World country, bacon is best known for this place on the American breakfast plate. Although bacon is often blamed for obesity and heart attacks, some mavericks amongst society recognize that bacon is good for you. No matter which position one takes on the bacon debate, none can deny the internet's fetish for bacon.

The Definitive Guide To Bacon

Maximizing the benefits of bacon can be tricky and is by no means an easy undertaking for the faint of heart. Attacking this conundrum of coronary Confucianism is this handy dandy, step wise guide to building a better life through bacon! Memorize these easy steps and you'll be well on your way to achieving a state of self-actualized bacon being.



Push Button; Receive Bacon

Push Button; Receive Bacon is a meme poking fun at the directions located on hand dryers. Some creative son of /b/ realized that the heat waves resembled strips of bacon and played on it. This person later brought his discovery onto the Internet, and parody images were born.



Bacony Faggotry

In 2012, a 22-year-old social media intern named Joshua Flaherty died of blood poisoning after shoving 10 pounds of bacon up his ass to win upvotes on Reddit, because he was obsessed with bacon and internet memes like baconmania. No word on whether it was cooked or raw.

I Am Legend is a book-turned-movie-turned-remake starring Will Smith. I Am Legend is one of the many vampire / zombie movies created in the new millennium. Will Smith plays an isolated, anti-social scientist trying to save humanity. In one scene which displays the character's anti-social-ness, Smith has a hard time being around people and exclaims that he was saving that bacon. This resulted in several parody images and videos.


Bacon Branding




Miscellaneous About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Bacon Art

Much like your average "Moon Sister" on her monthly cycle who feels compelled to create crafts from her vaginal crevices, so too do bacon fanatics and fans alike enjoy turning otherwise perfectly good pig into useless, largely inedible "art". Often for the sole purpose of preening over their porkish devotions like a pretentious, self-infatuated jackass with a bloated ego to match the Brobdingnagian size of their bacon fat infused bellies.

Master-pieces of Pig (past tense) About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]



General Bacony Goodness About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See also

Bacon
is part of a series on
Food and Drink

[BleurghOm Nom Nom]

Bacon is part of a series on

Memes

Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article March 18 & 19, 2013
Preceded by
Las Pegasus Unicon
Bacon Succeeded by
Bombermanfan