Men: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 01:34, 19 June 2023

Offended?
If you have been offended by "Men",
please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page.

	“	I will literally set the world on fire just to get laid.	„
	—Any young male (21st century)

Whether they are toddlers, whether they are grown up, whether they play with toys, whether they read novels, whether they play board games, whether they play video games, whether they practice sports, men are all inherently great hairy piles of lust and rage. These latent rapists and murderers believe themselves to be "nice guys", because they are slightly less of an asshole than their local drug pusher. Men, chunks of unbridled muscle, run the world with a sadistic smile. They shoot their guns and smoke their cigars with giant protruding erections, stopping only to occasionally rape and pillage your mother.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Women meddling with evolution has caused an outlawing of rape and dominance, allowing the weak and pathetic men to reproduce rapidly like ants. These vast hordes have no true masculinity, existing only to serve women as slaves like bees, which have created many large but dreaded subspecie families, see: fags, neckbeards, trannies, furries, you, and so on. Currently they completely outnumber all masculine individuals. The only true solution to this problem is to treat all men like the roosters they are and decapitate every man who doesn't have a tall, broad and handsome physique, and a loyal mind of their own. Only then will the world be free from the wars of degeneration.

Activities

Workout

You know, that thing you never do, ever. Come on, do you even lift? A man knows that lifting up pizza slices does not count as curls and getting up to take a dump does not count as squats. Getting off his ass and doing something about his body is a common method men use to cover up any lack of personality while attracting new friends. Even if it fails, at least it helps stave off diabetes and other neckbeard ailments.

Make out

If your typical man can manage to find a disgusting woman with the least amount of self respect possible, they may very well get their dick wet before the night is over. However, if the man's horrifyingly deformed features don't manage to land him a pretty lady, a potato with a hole in it, rape, a cat will easily satisfy his depraved needs. This is the shortest of the man's activities and will usually last around 10-15 seconds. Men fuck for many reasons, but the top two are boredom and depression.

Pig out

Men are notorious in their slightly overzealous eating habits. They will clean out your fridge in a matter of seconds, shoving as much meat into their face as possible. They will then wash it all down with 300,000 gallons of Mountain Dew and top it all off with a delicious twinkie. Men eat for many reasons, but the top two are boredom and depression.

Blackout

After a decent meal, men will then undoubtedly crack open a few of the cheapest most commercial cans of beer they can find, then flop down on the couch to catch a game of handegg. This can escalate, however, and you may end up with a large frat party on your hands. Upside down drinking contests and awkward sexual experiences with other men abound. Leave them hanging off the side of their parents' bed with various swearwords scribbled on their naked arse and a whole heap of regret. Men drink for many reasons, but the top two are boredom and depression.

If you are a russian man, the drinking experience is slightly different.

The State Of Men

The common male generally consists of pathetic balls of whimpering cowardice that hover on the sidelines, while the real manly men play a good hard game of handegg or soccerbawl. These other men sit on the bench painting their nails, considering that operation, or get fat, while the real deal d00ds are out on the field rubbing their testicles in the dirt.

These testicle rubbers are also deplorable examples of humanity. Drooling neanderthals that woop and holler at the sight of an x bawks, some pizza and a keg. More commonly known as the Douchebag, these sad sacks of walking degeneration have passed their glory days of date-raping high school girls while they flunk off class, now working as your regular gas attendant or McDonalds drive-through server. They spend their free time having sweaty greased up sexy time with their "bros" muttering the occasional no homo to ward off depression.

There are also many other male specimens that trawl across the interbutts, jizzing in the tubes. For example,The Nerds, who spend their time relentlessly slobbering over shit no one cares about all the while slowly getting more and more pasty, chubby, and dead inside. Also the well known and revered Faggots, who were once so manly that they went full circle and now want cock in their arse. And of course The Escapists, also known as the traps, transvestites or Dickgirls, who have completely shat out all manly manliness from their brain and simply wish to be the little girl.

OFFICIAL MAN THEME SONG

DONGS GLORIOUS DONGS

Attached to the groin area of most men, these usually floppy doo-dahs are used for a large variety of activities. The lesser known, though equally marvelous, ballbag dangles pendulously underneath, causing all other sorts of hilarity by impersonating your grandfather's face.

A List Of Some Notable Men

In fact, nearly anyone notable evar is a man. Or at least a man in spirit.

Gallery

It's raining men... About missing Pics

"Being well-groomed is a lame societal construct!"
Men who don't play sports usually end up like this.
Or this.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Irony? Its funny because women think this is a scatch
That counts as roaming...kind of.
A typical Friday night for many men.
"If she can't accept me as I am, then she doesn't deserve me!"
Puberty lasts a bit longer for some.
Men are four times as likely as women to be retards.
Elderly men in action. "Ever since I hit 40, my dick's only been able to get this big."
A member of the subspecies, "huge douchebag".
Many women say size doesn't matter. Many women are liars.
Trying to make up for his shortcomings.
Still anti-abortion?
He's a rebel.
This is what men have to do so their dick won't look weird.
Wearing a dress will make a man homosexual.
Hugging also turns men gay.
Crying? Gay.
Types of men. Which one are you? Omega faggot
Men are really this fucking desperate.
Never awkward.
Men are pretty kewl
Men's outstanding way of dealing with shit

1 to 10 for MEN

External link

Testosterone-filled speech on men

Men
is part of a series on articles which
are the subject of retarded edit wars

Beware all ye who tread here

Atheist • Ape • AQ Worlds • Black Jesus • Christian • Chimp •
Fat • Feminism • Furfag • Gorilla • Great Black Dick Hoax • Justin Bieber • Keegan Salisbury • K-Pop •
Homosexuality • Men • Ron Paul • Wikipedia • willg8686 • White Devils

Article of the Now June 18 & June 19, 2023
Preceded by Randy Robert Stair	Men	Succeeded by Twilight

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-<center>{{frame|<big>'''OFFICIAL MAN THEME SONG'''</big><br>
+{{offended}}
-<youtube>oECIKVaz5rc</youtube>|border=black|background=red}}</center>
-[[File:Arnold.Swartznig.jpg|thumb|right| [[Typical]] man]]
-[[File:Baby-fuck.jpg|right|thumb| [[Babyfuck|Going about his daily chores]]]]
-[[File:Cats men stupid.png|right|thumb]]
-'''Men''' are great hairy piles of [[sex|lust]] and [[rage]], gigantic war-mongering [[rape|rapists]], these chunks of unbridled muscle run the world with a sadistic smile. They shoot their [[gun|guns]] and smoke their cigars with giant protruding [[erection|erections]], stopping only occasionally [[rape]] and pillage [[your mom]].
-Although this is not always the case, as [[over 9000|some]] men have no true masculinity, creating the many dreaded subspecies of men, see: ''[[Faggot|Homosexual]]'', ''[[Basement Dweller]]'', ''[[Transvestite]]'', ''[[Chris-Chan]]'', ''[[you]]'' and so on. Their true "man" spirit is diminished and they wander the world as irritating flamboyant husks while the [[wimmins]] laugh and pity them. Men tend to come in many shapes and sizes, but one lingering aspect that connects them all is their luscious [[dong|dongs]]. Floppy tools of the secks variety that supply the common man with his seemingly unlimited supply of [[unwarranted self-importance]], if said appendage is [[Dorian Thorn|removed]] it nearly always transforms the man into a [[you|blubbering suicidal wreck]]. Therefore a [[PROTIP|handy]] way to deal with them.
+[[File:Arnold.Swartznig.jpg|thumb|left|[[Wishful thinking|Typical]] man]]
-==Activities of Men==
+{{quote|I will literally set the world on fire just to get laid.
+|Any young male (21st century)}}
-===[[fat|Eat]]===
+Whether they are toddlers, whether they are grown up, whether they play with toys, whether they read novels, whether they play [[board game]]s, whether they play [[video games]], whether they practice sports, '''men''' are all inherently great hairy piles of lust and [[rage]]. These latent [[rapist]]s and [[murderer]]s believe themselves to be "nice guys", because they are slightly less of an asshole than their local [[dealer|drug pusher]]. Men, chunks of unbridled muscle, run the world with a sadistic smile. They shoot their [[gun]]s and smoke their cigars with giant protruding erections, stopping only to occasionally rape and pillage [[your mother]].
-Men are notorious in their slightly [[over 9000| overzealous]] eating habits. They will clean out your fridge in a matter of seconds, shoving as much [[meat|dead animals]] into their face as possible. They will then wash it all down with 300,000 gallons of [[Mountain Dew]] and top it all off with a delicious [[cock|twinkie]]. Men eat for many reasons, but the top two are [[bored]] or [[depressed]].
+[[File:Baby-fuck.jpg|thumb|[[Babyfuck|Going about his daily chores]]]]
-===[[Alcohol | Drink]]===
+[[File:toomany.jpg|thumb|[[Doing it wrong]]]]
-After a decent meal, men will then undoubtedly crack open a few of the cheapest most commercial cans of [[beer]] they can find, then flop down on the couch to catch a [[the game|game]] of [[handegg]]. This can escalate, however, and you may end up with a large frat party on your hands. Upside down drinking contests and [[not gay|awkward sexual experiences with other men]] are abound. Leaving them [[hangover|hanging]] off the side of their parents bed with various [[swearing|swearword]]s scribbled on their naked arse and a whole heap of regret. Men drink for many reasons, but the top two are [[bored]] or [[depressed]].
+Unfortunately, this is not always the case. [[feminism|Women meddling with evolution]] has caused an outlawing of rape and dominance, allowing the weak and pathetic men to reproduce rapidly like ants. These vast hordes have no true masculinity, existing only to serve women as slaves like bees, which have created many large but dreaded subspecie families, see: ''[[fags]]'', ''[[neckbeard]]s'', ''[[trannies]]'', ''[[furries]]'', ''[[you]]'', and so on. Currently they completely outnumber all masculine individuals. The only true solution to this problem is to treat all men like the roosters they are and [[pwnt|decapitate]] every man who doesn't have a tall, broad and handsome physique, and a loyal mind of their own. Only then will the world be free from the wars of degeneration.
-If you are a [[russian]] man, the drinking experience is slightly [[Epic Win|different]].
+==Activities==
-<center><youtube>afP71xwLI8Y</youtube><br/></center>
+===Workout===
+[[File:Hand Grips.jpg|thumb|MANLY]]
-===[[sex|Fuck]]===
+You know, that thing you never do, ever. Come on, [[do you even lift]]? A man knows that lifting up pizza slices does not count as curls and getting up to take a dump does not count as squats. Getting off his ass and doing something about his body is a common method men use to cover up any lack of personality while attracting [[gay|new friends]]. Even if it fails, at least it helps stave off [[diabetes]] and other [[neckbeard]] ailments.
-If your typical man can manage to find a [[ugly|disgusting]] woman with the least amount of self respect possible, they may very well get their dick wet before the night is over. However if the man's horrifyingly deformed features don't manage land him a [[fugly|pretty]] [[pig|lady]], a potato with a hole in it, or [[rape]], is [[a cat is fine too|fine too]]. This is the [[micropenis|shortest]] of the man's activities and will usually last around 10-15 seconds. Men fuck for many reasons, but the top two are [[bored]] or [[depressed]].
+===[[sex|Make out]]===
+[[File:Bernie the jew sanders.jpg|thumb|[[Bernie Sanders|Eloquent writings]] on the state of men and sex]]
-==The Life of the Average Male==
+If your typical man can manage to find a [[your mom|disgusting woman with the least amount of self respect possible]], they may very well get their dick wet before the night is over. However, if the man's horrifyingly deformed features don't manage to land him a pretty lady, a potato with a hole in it, [[rape]], [[a cat is fine too|a cat]] will easily satisfy his depraved needs. This is the shortest of the man's activities and will usually last around 10-15 seconds. Men fuck for many reasons, but the top two are [[boredom]] and [[depression]].
-Inside the mother's womb, during [[pregnancy]], a [[ugly|beautiful]] fetus develops. Half the time, this future-child is doomed to be clusterfucked by testosterone, which leads to the creation of a man. As this [[shota|boy]] develops into an adult, he gets closer and closer to the [[faggotry]] of the male species.
+===Pig out===
+[[File:Rage magazine for men.png|thumb|Manly reading material]]
-In his teenage years, the average male has to face the shame of dealing with [[puberty]], which includes awkward changes to the voice, hair growth, [[acne]], and public boners for hot teachers. If he's lucky, he'll join a [[sports]] team, which will lead to him actually getting [[sex|laid]], but may also lead to STDS and life-ruining teen pregnancies.
+Men are notorious in their slightly overzealous eating habits. They will clean out your fridge in a matter of seconds, shoving as much meat into their face as possible. They will then wash it all down with 300,000 gallons of [[Mountain Dew]] and top it all off with a delicious [[cock|twinkie]]. Men eat for many reasons, but the top two are [[boredom]] and [[depression]].
-By his 20's, if he hasn't made himself a member of the [[jock|football team]], he probably spends his days [[alcoholic|drinking responsibly]], reading [[porn|classic literature]], fighting to legalize [[drugs|all the drugs]], or cursing at 12-year-olds on [[xbox]] to feel tough. The most unfortunate of the species have become [[weeaboo|anime fans]] and, accepting the inevitable fact that they will be [[virgins]] for life, they develop a resentment for women in the real world and spend endless days on [[4chan]] debating which pure and innocent underage anime girl is their [[waifu]]. Other symptoms include living in [[nostalgia]] for the "good old days" before they became men, and voting for Ron Paul.
+===Blackout===
-By 50, if he's lucky, the average white male has had the privilege of marrying a woman [[incest|just like his mom]], who does his laundry and cooks while he rests his [[obese|back boobs]] on a couch watching Fox News and complaining about the [[lol|liberal media bias]], or watching MSNBC if they're [[gay]]. Most likely, he'll resent the fact that he never lived up to his childhood dream, or the fact that his wife has a better job than he does, so he'll spend the rest of his days groaning about [[bitches]] and [[whores]] and requesting cheezburgers before dying of Type 2 diabetes or prostate cancer at the age of 65.
+After a decent meal, men will then undoubtedly crack open a few of the cheapest most commercial cans of [[beer]] they can find, then flop down on the couch to catch a [[the game|game]] of [[handegg]]. This can escalate, however, and you may end up with a large frat party on your hands. Upside down drinking contests and [[Mantrain|awkward sexual experiences with other men]] abound. Leave them hanging off the side of their parents' bed with various swearwords scribbled on their naked arse and a whole heap of regret. Men drink for many reasons, but the top two are [[boredom]] and [[depression]].
-It is a highly-promoted [[lie|scientific fact]] that 85% of men's thoughts begin inside the penis. In reality, this number is closer to 95%.
+If you are a [[russian]] man, the drinking experience is slightly different.
-With the rise of male inferiority, a result of women having become smarter than men [http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/08/17/women-see-value-and-benefits-of-college-men-lag-on-both-fronts-survey-finds/] and starting to earn more money than men [http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,2015274,00.html], there came a rise in the already-epidemic [[bestiality]], [[loli]], and [[furry]] trends.
+<br>
-Who needs grown women when you have a dog, half-dog, or a 5-year-old? Or [[masturbation|your hand]].
+{{center|<youtube>afP71xwLI8Y</youtube>}}
+<br>
-==[[LOLDONGS|DONGS GLORIOUS DONGS]]==
+==The State Of Men==
-Attached to the groin area of most men, these floppy doo-dahs are used for a [[rape|large variety of activities]]. The lesser known ballbag, hangs gently underneath, causing all other sorts of hilarity by impersonating [[you|your]] grandfathers face.
+The common male generally consists of [[pathetic]] balls of whimpering cowardice that hover on the sidelines, while the ''real'' manly men play a good hard game of [[handegg]] or [[football|soccerbawl]]. These other men sit on the bench painting their nails, considering that operation, or get [[fat]], while the real deal d00ds are out on the field rubbing their testicles in the dirt.
-<center><youtube>nGRPFUYUUdQ</youtube><br/></center>
+[[File:Manlypillow.jpg|thumb|What many men desire to be.]]
+These testicle rubbers are also deplorable examples of humanity. Drooling neanderthals that woop and holler at the sight of an [[x-box|x bawks]], some pizza and a keg. More commonly known as the [[Douchebag]], these sad sacks of walking degeneration have passed their glory days of date-raping high school girls while they flunk off class, now working as your regular gas attendant or McDonalds drive-through server. They spend their free time having sweaty greased up sexy time with their [[retards|"bros"]] muttering the occasional [[no homo]] to ward off depression.
+There are also many other male specimens that trawl across the [[interbutts]], jizzing in the tubes. For example,''[[Nerd|The Nerds]]'', who spend their time relentlessly slobbering over [[shit no one cares about]] all the while slowly getting more and more pasty, chubby, and dead inside. Also the well known and revered ''[[Faggot|Faggots]]'', who were once so manly that they went full circle and now want cock in their arse. And of course ''The Escapists'', also known as the [[traps]], [[transvestites]] or [[Dickgirls]], who have completely shat out all manly manliness from their brain and simply wish to be the little girl.
+<center>{{frame|<center><big>'''OFFICIAL MAN THEME SONG'''</big></center><br>
+<youtube>851BqHMCaeM</youtube>|border=black|background=red}}</center>
+<br>
+==[[LOLDONGS|DONGS]] GLORIOUS DONGS==
+[[File:Psilocybe cubensis Penis Envy.jpg|thumb|230px|picrel.]]
+Attached to the groin area of most men, these usually floppy doo-dahs are used for a large variety of activities. The lesser known, though equally marvelous, [[testicles|ballbag]] dangles pendulously underneath, causing all other sorts of hilarity by impersonating your grandfather's face.
+<br>
+{{center|<youtube>nGRPFUYUUdQ</youtube>}}
 ==A List Of Some Notable Men==
+[[File:Gigachad.jpg|thumb|260px|Giga[[Chad]]]]
-*[[Chris-chan]]
+*[[Cockmongler|Grinman]]
-*[[Rush Limbaugh]]
+*[[Duke Nukem]]
-*[[George W. Bush]]
+*[[Osama bin Laden]]
-*[[Osama Bin Laden]]
+*[[Mario]]
-*[[Glenn Beck]]
+*[[Jesus]]
+*[[Michael Jackson]]
+*[[Iron Man]]
+*[[Superman]]
+*[[Arnold Schwarzenegger|Arnold S. Nigger]]
+*[[God]]
+*[[Weev]]
+*[[Steve Jobs]]
 *[[Hitler]]
-*[[Bleedman]]
+*[[Batman]]
 *[[Ann Coulter]]
+In fact, nearly anyone notable [[evar]] is a man. Or at least [[:File:Dinosaur-Palin.jpg|a man in spirit]].
+==Gallery==
+{{cg|It's raining men...|sp|center|<gallery perrow="5">
+File:creep.gif|"Being well-groomed is a lame societal construct!"
+File:Rhorror.png|Men who don't play sports usually end up like this.
+File:Deathbed.jpg|Or this.
+File:Nobody cleans a house faster than a man expecting to get laid.jpg
+File:Did you fall from heaven because have sex with me.jpg
+</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
+File:toostupid.jpg|Irony? Its funny because women think this is a scatch
+File:Playing leave me the fuck alone.PNG
+File:wildanimals.png|That counts as roaming...kind of.
+File:handy.png|A typical Friday night for many men.
+File:fatbatman.jpg|"If she can't accept me as I am, then she doesn't deserve me!"
+File:obviously.jpg|Puberty lasts a bit longer for some.
+File:autist.jpg|Men are four times as likely as women to be retards.
+Image:Zed spicdick.jpg|Elderly men in action. "Ever since I hit 40, my dick's only been able to get this big."
+File:90percentmurder.jpg
+File:Differencebetweenmenandwomen.jpg
+File:Masculinitythenandnow.jpg
+File:itscool.png|A member of the subspecies, "huge douchebag".
+File:comingupshort.png|Many women say size doesn't matter. Many women are liars.
+File:miniatures.png|Trying to make up for his shortcomings.
+File:negrohipster.png|Still anti-abortion?
+File:doorknocker.png|He's a rebel.
+File:circumcision.jpg|This is what men have to do so their dick won't look weird.
+File:weddingdreams.png|Wearing a dress will make a man homosexual.
+File:manhug.png|Hugging also turns men gay.
+File:sadface.png|Crying? Gay.
+File:Redpilllevels.jpg
+File:Typesofmale.jpg|Types of men. Which one are you? Omega faggot
+File:Publichousing844.jpg
+File:Reallyfuckingugly.jpg|Men are really this fucking desperate.
+File:Pedo_-_Teacher.jpg|Never awkward.
+File:BrianDavidMitchell.png|[[pedophile|Men are pretty kewl]]
+File:Problem solving flowchart.jpg|Men's outstanding way of dealing with shit
+File:How to repair anything.jpg
+File:Men don't grow up.jpg
+File:Men are like Coke.jpg
+File:Men_-_eCards_-_Don't_Make_Excuses_For_Him.jpg
+File:Men_-_eCards_-_Like_Pantyhose.jpg
+</gallery>}}
+===1 to 10 for MEN===
+[[File:Beauty rating for men 4chan from 1 to 10.jpg|center|thumb|Nonwhite men don't exist on 4chan.]]
 ==See Also==
-*[[Penis]]
-*[[Bros B4 Hoes]]
+* [[What is a man?]]
-*[[Bros Icing Bros]]
+* [[Penis]]
-*[[A Womyn's Guide to Males|Men: Feminist Edition]]
+* [[Bros B4 Hoes]]
+* [[Bros Icing Bros]]
+* [[Nice guys]]
+* [[A Womyn's Guide to Males|Men: The true article without the fail and AIDS]]
+* [[Stealthing]]
+== External link ==
+* {{ytlink|gmV13eB0fa0|Testosterone-filled speech on men}}
 {{Retarded Edit Wars}}
 [[Category:IRL Shit]]
 [[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
-[[Category: Epithets]]
+[[Category:Epithets]]
+{{timeline|Article of the Now June 18 & June 19, [[2023]]|[[Randy Robert Stair]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Twilight]]}}

Men: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 01:34, 19 June 2023

Contents