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{{aspie}}
[[Image:Applemilkwithcondom.jpg|thumb|400px|Let this picture set the tone for the rest of the article.]]
[[Image:Applemilkwithcondom.jpg|thumb|400px|Let this picture set the tone for the rest of the article.]]
[[Image:Whatplz.jpg|thumb|left|Hay guys am I Japanese yet]]
{{weeaboo}}


'''Applemilk1988''', [[Powerword|real name]] Emily Connor, is a Japanophilic [[YouTube]] [[Internet celebrity|celebrity]] who is [[lie|totally fluent in Japanese]].
'''Applemilk1988''' ([[Powerword|AKA: Emily Connor]]) is a [[Weeb|Japanophilic]] [[YouTube]] [[Internet celebrity|celebrity]] who is [[lie|totally fluent in Japanese]].


Whereas some Japanophiles keep their [[power level]] to a [[9000|specific minimum]] (and the horrendous [[wapanese|majority]] of them don't), she couldn't act like a person if she wanted to. Not only does she appear to the [[racist|normal]] discerning eye to be completely fucking confused as to what color she is, even her friends and family can't help but take notice of how she '''really''' is convinced that she's [[stupid|Japanese]].
Whereas some Japanophiles keep their [[power level]] to a [[9000|specific maximum]] (and the horrendous [[wapanese|majority]] of them don't), she couldn't act like a person if she wanted to. Not only does she appear to the [[racist|normal]] discerning eye to be completely fucking confused as to what color she is, even her friends and family can't help but take notice of how she '''really''' is convinced that she's [[stupid|Japanese]].


As of May 2009, Emily is most visible on <s>[http://applemilk1988.com/ her website/blog]</s>[[baleeted]], try [http://ameblo.jp/c-cedille/ here], which links to her MySpace, YouTube and Twitter accounts.
As of May 2009, Emily is most visible on <s>[http://applemilk1988.com/ her website/blog]</s>[[baleeted]] {{wayback|http://applemilk1988.com/|20120126033544|title=(Archived)}}, try [https://ameblo.jp/c-cedille/ here], which links to her MySpace, YouTube and Twitter accounts.


__TOC__
__TOC__


== The Legacy of Faggotry ==
== The Legacy of Faggotry ==
{{weeaboo}}
[[Image:Fullforce2.jpg|thumb|left|Anon's [[butt]][[rape]] is PRETTY INTENSE.]]
 
[[Image:AtFullForce.jpg|thumb|right|'''AT FULL FORCE''']]
[[Image:Whatplz.jpg|thumb|Hay guys am I Japanese yet]]
[[Image:Fullforce2.jpg|thumb|Anon's [[butt]][[rape]] is PRETTY INTENSE.]]
 
To her, everything is "[[12|pretty intense]]," and she uses this adjective for everything when she's not using [[moonspeak]]. She also wishes to be a [[J-pop]] idol, but due to her lack of talent, substance, a soul, or [[Azn|Asian]] [[blood]], we can thank sweet merciful fuck that ''that'' will never happen.  
To her, everything is "[[12|pretty intense]]," and she uses this adjective for everything when she's not using [[moonspeak]]. She also wishes to be a [[J-pop]] idol, but due to her lack of talent, substance, a soul, or [[Azn|Asian]] [[blood]], we can thank sweet merciful fuck that ''that'' will never happen.  


[[Last Thursday]], Emiry's <strike>{{myspace|swim_in_ether|MySpace}}</strike> ([[Baleeted|dead]]) caught the attention of the [[nigra]]s on [[4chan]] [[/b/]], some thinking that she was the real life [[Cracky-chan]]. But when they realized that this was actually not Cracky but just some delusional weeaboo, those who had mistaken her for Cracky [[cried]] and/or just fapped to more [[guro]] [[porn]]. Like [[the cancer that is killing /b/|cancer]], Emily's [[MySpace]] and [[YouTube]] profiles were spammed over and over again, prompting [[Anonymous]] to troll her videos and her [[Stickam]] profile (which she has since registered on the Japanese Stickam site).
[[Last Thursday]], Emiry's <strike>{{myspace|swim_in_ether|MySpace}}</strike> ([[Baleeted|dead]]) caught the attention of the [[nigra]]s on [[4chan]] [[B|/b/]], some thinking that she was the real life [[Cracky-chan]]. But when they realized that this was actually not Cracky but just some delusional weeaboo, those who had mistaken her for Cracky [[cried]] and/or just fapped to more [[guro]] [[porn]]. Like [[the cancer that is killing /b/|cancer]], Emily's [[MySpace]] and [[YouTube]] profiles were spammed over and over again, prompting [[Anonymous]] to troll her videos and her [[Stickam]] profile (which she has since registered on the Japanese Stickam site).


== The Other Legacy of Faggotry ==
== The Other Legacy of Faggotry ==
[[Image:AtFullForce.jpg|thumb|'''AT FULL FORCE''']]


March 2007, a user from 4chan spotted a [[YouTube]] video of a girl who was holding a contest. Nothing special, until she mentioned that her dream was to get [[over nine thousand]] subscribers on her [[YouTube]].


A few moments later, Anonymous posted the link on [[/b/]] with little to no response, so "same person [[spamming]]" commenced and the thread quickly got filled with "i would do her in the mouth so she would [[shut the fuck up]]."
March 2007, a user from 4chan spotted a [[YouTube]] video of a girl who was holding a contest. Nothing special, until she mentioned that her dream was to get [[over nine thousand]] subscribers on her [[YouTube]]. A few moments later, Anonymous posted the link on [[B|/b/]] with little to no response, so "samefag [[spamming]]" commenced and the thread quickly got filled with "I would do her in the mouth so she would [[shut the fuck up]]."


After countless amounts of Youtube spammings she got online and started to defend her ways, deleting comments and confirming she was a part of [[2ch]] and the "chan scene." A few threads later, her other websites, [[MySpace]] and blogs were found. The more Anonymous found, the more it got obvious that the [[weeaboo|power]] level of this person was [[OVER 9000|beyond anything]] Anonymous had ever encountered before.
After countless amounts of Youtube spammings she got online and started to defend her ways, deleting comments and confirming she was a part of [[2ch]] and the "chan scene." A few threads later, her other websites, [[MySpace]] and blogs were found. The more Anonymous found, the more it got obvious that the [[weeaboo|power]] level of this person was [[OVER 9000|beyond anything]] Anonymous had ever encountered before.


A few days after the first threads began, Emiry arrived on [[/b/]] itself. She and her followers spammed the threads with countless images of her and her friends. For a short time it seemed that Emily was winning over the [[internet hate machine]]... but this was about to change as a poster on [[2ch]]'s English board posted what is today known as the AT FULL FORCE post.
A few days after the first threads began, Emiry arrived on [[B|/b/]] itself. She and her followers spammed the threads with countless images of her and her friends. For a short time it seemed that Emily was winning over the [[internet hate machine]]... but this was about to change as a poster on [[2ch]]'s English board posted what is today known as the AT FULL FORCE post.


Interest in Emily quickly faded, but she held a special place in Anonymous' heart and Anonymous did not forget. Sort of.
Interest in Emily quickly faded, but she held a special place in Anonymous' heart and Anonymous did not forget. Sort of.
 
{{clear}}
== Fun Facts ==
== Fun Facts ==
[[Image:Facts_about_Applemilk.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Facts_about_Applemilk.jpg|center]]
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Here are some (revised) [[facts]] about Applemilk:
Here are some (revised) [[facts]] about Applemilk:


# "I might [[hate]] [[Jpop|Ayumi Hamasaki]]... [but] I can do karaoke to most of her songs, [[Schizo|impersonating her voice]]... I [[cried]] the first time I heard ['RAINBOW']."
#"I might [[hate]] [[Jpop|Ayumi Hamasaki]]... [but] I can do karaoke to most of her songs, [[Schizo|impersonating her voice]]... I [[cried]] the first time I heard ['RAINBOW']."
# Just like [[weeaboo|everyone else]], she found out about Japanese from [[animé]] - ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', no less.  She claims to speak it "fluently" even though her videos prove her wrong:
#Just like [[weeaboo|everyone else]], she found out about Japanese from [[animé]] - ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', no less.  She claims to speak it "fluently" even though her videos prove her wrong:
#* she uses ''[[Ass|ano]]...'' (umm...) to connect sentences,  
#she uses ''[[Ass|ano]]...'' (umm...) to connect sentences,  
#* she makes several amateur mistakes and  
#she makes several amateur mistakes and  
#* [[some say|it has been said]] that she uses a dictionary when updating her blog.
#[[some say|it has been said]] that she uses a dictionary when updating her blog.
# She has diagnosed with [[Asperger's Syndrome]] by some quack [[psychiatrist]]. This [[Nobody cares|doesn't mean shit]] to [[Unwarranted self importance|anyone but herself]].
#She has diagnosed with [[Asperger's Syndrome]] by some quack [[psychiatrist]]. This [[Nobody cares|doesn't mean shit]] to [[Unwarranted self importance|anyone but herself]].
# She thinks she's the only [[female]] who plays [[video games]].
#She thinks she's the only [[female]] who plays [[video games]].
# She [[Lie|managed to flee from a locked garage where a man held a gun to her.]] [[Fail|Everybody believes this.]].
#She [[Lie|managed to flee from a locked garage where a man held a gun to her.]] [[Fail|Everybody believes this.]].
# [[Bipolar|"It makes me sadder... but at the same time it cheers me up."]]
#[[Bipolar|"It makes me sadder... but at the same time it cheers me up."]]
# She is giving people very bad advice on her yesjapan.com video series.
#She is giving people very bad advice on her yesjapan.com video series.


== Jewbacca's [[Final Solution]] to the Japanophile Question ==
== Jewbacca's [[Final Solution]] to the Japanophile Question ==
[[Image:Matthew Connor.jpg|thumb|Gender Bender "Matthew"]]
[[Image:Matthew Connor.jpg|thumb|Gender Bender "Matthew"]]


Emiry finally became truly internets famous in August 2007, when the [[internet hate machine]] finally owned the dumb Japanophile. [[Anonymous]] and [[Jewbacca]] obtained her [[Jewtube]] password, [[GOATSE]]D her userpage, and finally [[Delete Fucking Everything|deleted all her videos]] and closed her account. More ownage soon followed.
Emiry finally became truly internets famous in August 2007, when the [[internet hate machine]] finally owned the imbecilic weeaboo. [[Anonymous]] and [[Jewbacca]] obtained her [[Jewtube]] password, [[GOATSE]]D her userpage, and finally [[Delete Fucking Everything|deleted all her videos]] and closed her account. More ownage soon followed.


In the early morning hours of Saturday, August 4th 2007 a noble /b/tard, [[Jewbacca]], hacked Applemilk's [[Jewtube]] password (which was '''LordNishikawa555''' because she's a weeaboo), and proceeded to destroy her page by taking down all of her old videos, uploading a [[Tay Zonday|Tayroll]] video,  and filling her page with loldongs and goatse. Her Facebook wasn't safe from Jewbacca's wrath either, and at approximately 3:35 AM it was compromised.
In the early morning hours of Saturday, August 4th 2007 a noble /b/tard, [[Jewbacca]], hacked Applemilk's [[Jewtube]] password (which was '''LordNishikawa555''' because she's a weeaboo), and proceeded to destroy her page by taking down all of her old videos, uploading a [[Tay Zonday|Tayroll]] video,  and filling her page with loldongs and goatse. Her Facebook wasn't safe from Jewbacca's wrath either, and at approximately 3:35 AM it was compromised.
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== Syphilis is SUPER KAWAII DESU NE ==
== Syphilis is SUPER KAWAII DESU NE ==
[[File:Applemilks boyfriend.jpg|thumb|left|[[Autistic|Artistic]] representation of Applemilk's boyfriend Daisuke]]
[[Image:STD1.jpg|thumb|The grand result of Japanophile syndrome.]]
[[Image:STD1.jpg|thumb|The grand result of Japanophile syndrome.]]
[[Image:Emiryaids.jpg|thumb|JAPANAIDS IS SUPER KAWAII.]]
[[Image:Emiryaids.jpg|thumb|JAPANAIDS IS SUPER KAWAII.]]
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Shortly after Emily's accounts got [[raped]], word came in from a friend she ditched in Japan about her [[sexual]] exploits. Even though she will [[wapanese|exclusively fuck only Japanese guys]], she still has no problem getting [[cock]] any chance she can. A leaked AIM conversation (pictured on right) reveals that she contracted a [[Kawaii|SUPER KAWAII]] [[STD]] from her [[white trash|honky]] loving boyfriend Daisuke, citing swollen glands and [[Centipede filled vagina|creepy crawlies]] in her vagoo as proof. Anon's medical wing has decided that this could easily be syphilis. [[Roflcopter|Poor, poor Emily]].  
Shortly after Emily's accounts got [[raped]], word came in from a friend she ditched in Japan about her [[sexual]] exploits. Even though she will [[wapanese|exclusively fuck only Japanese guys]], she still has no problem getting [[cock]] any chance she can. A leaked AIM conversation (pictured on right) reveals that she contracted a [[Kawaii|SUPER KAWAII]] [[STD]] from her [[white trash|honky]] loving boyfriend Daisuke, citing swollen glands and [[Centipede filled vagina|creepy crawlies]] in her vagoo as proof. Anon's medical wing has decided that this could easily be syphilis. [[Roflcopter|Poor, poor Emily]].  


Syphilis is easily treated with high dose intravenous [[Drugs|antibiotics]] but if untreated leads to initial [[Unwarranted self-importance|delusions of grandeur]] and changes in personality along with [[Dick Ants|recurrent painless sores]] and eventually to [[insanity]].  
Syphilis is easily treated with high dose intravenous [[Drugs|antibiotics]] but if untreated leads to initial [[Unwarranted self-importance|delusions of grandeur]] and changes in personality along with [[Dick Ants|recurrent painless sores]] and eventually to [[insanity]], just like Al Capone.


== Recent Developments ==
== Recent Developments ==
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[[Anonymous]] is rumored to be gathering its armies to shut the weeaboo down once again.
[[Anonymous]] is rumored to be gathering its armies to shut the weeaboo down once again.


[[Last Thursday]] Applemilk updated her Youtube account with [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KLsxOZduiWs a new video] (plz troll; TITS OR GTFO) in which she describes her methods of combating her recent case of [[AIDS|cockroaches]] with a [[100|100%]] [[Japan|Nihon]] model first aid spray.  So far, she has failed to rid herself of her [[AIDS|ailment]].
[[Last Thursday]] Applemilk updated her Youtube account with [[:File:Of Kimchi and Tapestries.mp4|a new video]] (plz troll; TITS OR GTFO) in which she describes her methods of combating her recent case of [[AIDS|cockroaches]] with a [[100|100%]] [[Japan|Nihon]] model first aid spray.  So far, she has failed to rid herself of her [[AIDS|ailment]].


=== AppleMeth ===
=== AppleMeth ===
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[[lies|No such thing]], Emiry!
[[lies|No such thing]], Emiry!


{{co|LJsection|[Jesus Put It Away!]|[Check Out My New LJ]|0|
{{co|LJsection|Jesus Put It Away!|Check Out My New LJ|0|


Note: according to this LJ:
Note: according to this LJ:


* Her new '''AIM''': ''mellowcrow''  
*Her new '''AIM''': ''mellowcrow''  
* Her '''MSN''': ''[email protected]''
*Her '''MSN''': ''[email protected]''


Although it's unknown whether or not she's still using these, it might be worth it to try to [[troll|say hello]].
Although it's unknown whether or not she's still using these, it might be worth it to try to [[troll|say hello]].
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== YouTube Responses of The Lulzy Sort ==
== YouTube Responses of The Lulzy Sort ==
[[Image:Leahdizon.jpg|thumb|left|[[slut|Leah Dizon]], who Emiry desperately tries to be like and fails horribly.]]
[[Image:Leahdizon.jpg|thumb|left|[[slut|Leah Dizon]], who Emiry desperately tries to be like and fails horribly.]]
[[Image:emiry_vs_leah.png|thumb|Emily vs. Leah]]


[[gay|Pretty Intense!]]
{{frame|<youtube>yN0mGkTpZRg</youtube>|margin=auto}}
<youtube>6dA_KgGnMVc</youtube><br>
[[trap|So Sexy!]]
<youtube>yN0mGkTpZRg</youtube>


[[Image:emiry_vs_leah.png|thumb|Emily vs. Leah]]


=== Contact Info ===
=== Contact Info ===


* '''[[AIM]]''' = AfureruNamida
*'''[[AIM]]''' = AfureruNamida
* '''Email'''
*[mailto:[email protected] '''New''']
** '''New:'''oh_crime@hotmail.com
*[mailto:melononigiri@gmail.com '''Newer''']
** '''Newer:''' melononigiri@gmail.com
*[mailto:applemilk1989@gmail.com [email protected]]
*[mailto:[email protected] '''Cellphone Email''']
** '''Cellphone Email:''' [email protected]
*'''Cellphone number on the moon''': 08034621112
* '''Cellphone number on the moon:''' 08034621112
*<s>{{myspace|etherdive|On MySpace}}</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://myspace.com/etherdive|20080707005042|title=(Archived)}}
* {{myspace|etherdive|On MySpace}}
*[https://www.last.fm/user/etherdive On last.fm]
* [http://www.last.fm/user/etherdive/ On last.fm]
*{{twitter|c_cedille|On Twitter}} - Note her following/followers ratio
* [http://twitter.com/c_cedille On Twitter] - Note her following/followers ratio


== Recent Activity on Stickam ==
== Recent Activity on Stickam ==


Emiry herself is currently very active on [[Stickam]] ([http://www.stickam.com/profile/applemilk1988 profile]), a place where [[faggots]] go to live chat about how miserable their lives are. She hosts live chats with her [[assholes|fans]] at random hours of the day, opening a [[Goatse|vast hole]] of lulz potential.
Emiry herself is currently very active on [[Stickam]] ({{archive|ZNguf|profile}}), a place where [[faggots]] go to live chat about how miserable their lives are. She hosts live chats with her [[assholes|fans]] at random hours of the day, opening a [[Goatse|vast hole]] of lulz potential.
   
   
'''NOTE:''' You have to add her as a friend first, but she accepts everyone almost immediately.
'''NOTE:''' You have to add her as a friend first, but she accepts everyone almost immediately.


As Stickam has grown into a global camwhore network, it has expanded to Japan, where Emiry of course quickly joined ([[http://www.stickam.jp/profile/applemilk17 profile]) with several other weeaboo faggots who attempt to invade Japan. She seems quite active, making friends with [[OMG]] [[real]] [[Azn]]s, probably one day hoping to achieve full domination of Japan's internet.
As Stickam has grown into a global camwhore network, it has expanded to Japan, where Emiry of course quickly joined ([https://www.stickam.jp/profile/applemilk17 profile]) with several other weeaboo faggots who attempt to invade Japan. She seems quite active, making friends with [[OMG]] [[real]] [[Azn]]s, probably one day hoping to achieve full domination of Japan's internet.


== EMIRY: Debut in Japan!!! ==
== EMIRY: Debut in Japan!!! ==


So if you didn't know how famous Emily is in Japanlands, you should know now. She was featured in a tiny talk show at Ameba Studio called チョメらナイト ("Chomera Night") in July 08 by the same people who host her [[moonspeak|blog]]). In [http://ameblo.jp/chomera-night/entry-10116178852.html this lulzy video], Emily sits there looking so [[wapanese|kawaii]] with some material hanging off her nose, which is [[Japan|good quality comedy]].  
So if you didn't know how famous Emily is in Japanlands, you should know now. She was featured in a tiny talk show at Ameba Studio called チョメらナイト ("Chomera Night") in July 08 by the same people who host her [[moonspeak|blog]]). In [https://ameblo.jp/chomera-night/entry-10116178852.html this lulzy video], Emily sits there looking so [[wapanese|kawaii]] with some material hanging off her nose, which is [[Japan|good quality comedy]].  


She sticks mainly to ''hai'' ([[yes]]) instead of interacting with the hosts, and at the end repeats "My name is Paul McCartney" when asked what she thought of the segment. Don't worry Emily, they were laughing [[lie|WITH YOU]].
She sticks mainly to ''hai'' ([[yes]]) instead of interacting with the hosts, and at the end repeats "My name is Paul McCartney" when asked what she thought of the segment. Don't worry Emily, they were laughing [[lie|WITH YOU]].
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On 3 May [[2008]], the successor to Jewbacca known as "Jack Ryan" made startling headway in [[Mindfuck|mind-fucking]] the weeaboo. He managed to get her on [[AIM]] and engage her in a "pretty intense" conversation. The talks lasted for two days until he finally could not take it anymore, and [[offended]] her to the point where she [[STFU|stopped talking]]. In the end, she thought a 42-year old [[radio]] [[disc jockey]] named Chio from [[Philadelphia]] was her [[stalker]], and she still believes it to this day. It seems she only talked to "Jack Ryan" when she thought she could get on the radio; all for the publicity which she [[Want|so desires]] but [[Fail|never seems to be able to obtain]].
On 3 May [[2008]], the successor to Jewbacca known as "Jack Ryan" made startling headway in [[Mindfuck|mind-fucking]] the weeaboo. He managed to get her on [[AIM]] and engage her in a "pretty intense" conversation. The talks lasted for two days until he finally could not take it anymore, and [[offended]] her to the point where she [[STFU|stopped talking]]. In the end, she thought a 42-year old [[radio]] [[disc jockey]] named Chio from [[Philadelphia]] was her [[stalker]], and she still believes it to this day. It seems she only talked to "Jack Ryan" when she thought she could get on the radio; all for the publicity which she [[Want|so desires]] but [[Fail|never seems to be able to obtain]].


All four conversations are available in a zip file [http://www.mediafire.com/?ze2xtzldgtm here.]
All four conversations are available in a zip file <s>[https://www.mediafire.com/?ze2xtzldgtm here.]</s> (dead)


=== Epic Info ===
=== Epic Info ===


Jack Ryan has recently made [[epic]] strides in the [[war]] against Applemilk; her safe haven in New York has been exposed via her father, Kevin's, contact information. Along with her stepmother's address in [[Florida]], this new information confirms that the weeaboo is not fully secure anywhere outside of her current temporary residence in [[Japan]]. This was realized on 30 May 2008. Due to the highly personal nature of this information and its potential for abuse, it is not allowed to be posted directly on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]]; therefore, [http://www.mediafire.com/?49zttddsmzg this text document] contains the [[Dox|addresses and other info]] that was formerly on this page.
Jack Ryan has recently made [[epic]] strides in the [[war]] against Applemilk; her safe haven in New York has been exposed via her father, Kevin's, contact information. Along with her stepmother's address in [[Florida]], this new information confirms that the weeaboo is not fully secure anywhere outside of her current temporary residence in [[Japan]]. This was realized on 30 May 2008. Due to the highly personal nature of this information and its potential for abuse, it is not allowed to be posted directly on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]]; therefore, <s>[https://www.mediafire.com/?49zttddsmzg this text document]</s> (dead) contains the [[Dox|addresses and other info]] that was formerly on this page.


== Deleted Fucking Everything ==
== Deleted Fucking Everything ==


[[Last thursday|Recently,]] Emily caught onto [[Anonymous]] and [[deleted fucking everything]], ending in the loss of a few old LJs, an old blurty account, and a very [[weeaboo|embarrassing]] [[MySpace]]. Unfortunately for Emily, there are [[screencaps]] of everything, which are available for download [http://www.sendspace.com/file/4a6k4e here]. One of the deleted LJs as well as the the deleted [[MySpace]] can be seen below in the M-chan section of this article.
[[Last thursday|Recently,]] Emily caught onto [[Anonymous]] and [[deleted fucking everything]], ending in the loss of a few old LJs, an old blurty account, and a very [[weeaboo|embarrassing]] [[MySpace]]. Unfortunately for Emily, there are [[screencaps]] of everything, which are available for download <s>[http://www.sendspace.com/file/4a6k4e here]</s> (dead). One of the deleted LJs as well as the deleted [[MySpace]] can be seen below in the M-chan section of this article.


However, Emily forgot to delete a website linked to one of the LJ accounts which can be found [http://www.freewebs.com/maesama/index.htm here]. To sum up most of the website, here's an excerpt:
However, Emily forgot to delete a website linked to one of the LJ accounts which can be found {{wayback|http://www.freewebs.com/maesama/index.htm|20040705151059|title=here}}. To sum up most of the website, here's an excerpt:


: '''Name:''' Takeuchi Mae aka MaeChan
:'''Name:''' Takeuchi Mae aka MaeChan
: '''Nicknames:''' Mamae, Maechan, Hitoku
:'''Nicknames:''' Mamae, Maechan, Hitoku
: '''Age:''' Himitsu [[desu]]...
:'''Age:''' Himitsu [[desu]]...
: '''Race:''' [[lie|Part Japanese]] Part [[weeaboo|American]]
:'''Race:''' [[lie|Part Japanese]] Part [[weeaboo|American]]
: '''Location:''' [[Florida]]
:'''Location:''' [[Florida]]
: '''Born In:''' [[New York]] and [[bullshit|raised in Tokyo]]
:'''Born In:''' [[New York]] and [[bullshit|raised in Tokyo]]
: '''Sexuality:''' [[Bisexual]]
:'''Sexuality:''' [[Bisexual]]


== M-chan: the Beginning of Emily's "Career" ==
== M-chan: the Beginning of Emily's "Career" ==
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Image:M-uta profile.png|
Image:M-uta profile.png|
Image:M-uta entries.png|Mostly [[moonspeak]].
Image:M-uta entries.png|Mostly [[moonspeak]].
Image:M-uta translated.png|LOL [http://translate.google.com Google Translator]
Image:M-uta translated.png|LOL [https://translate.google.com/ Google Translator]
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


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[[Image:Lexibellejapanesebus.jpg|thumb|Another [[whore]] Applemilk strives to be like.]]
[[Image:Lexibellejapanesebus.jpg|thumb|Another [[whore]] Applemilk strives to be like.]]


Following her boob job earlier this year, Emiry has been hired by the Japanese agency ATOP to be a gravure model. [http://www.atop.co.jp/talent.php Srsly].
Following her boob job earlier this year, Emiry has been hired by the Japanese agency ATOP to be a gravure model. {{wayback|http://www.atop.co.jp:80/talent.php|20080618090545|title=Srsly}}.


It is not currently known how many Japanese businessmen were blown to make this happen. Sources reckon [[at least 100]], and potentially [[over 9000]]. But hey, she is our first foreign gravure model, so that has to count for something! Right?
It is not currently known how many Japanese businessmen were blown to make this happen. Sources reckon [[at least 100]], and potentially [[over 9000]]. But hey, she is our first foreign gravure model, so that has to count for something! Right?
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Unfortunately, the video ends with her [[lie|totally fluent Japanese]] coming out like a robot.  She should pay better attention to how native Japanese gravure idols thank their watchers at the end.
Unfortunately, the video ends with her [[lie|totally fluent Japanese]] coming out like a robot.  She should pay better attention to how native Japanese gravure idols thank their watchers at the end.


You can get your copy of the Emiry Debut Video [http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/145020457 here].
You can view Emiry's Debut Video [https://www.xvideos.com/video1356481/applemilk1988_emily_debut here].


Her various body measurements are available [[OTI]] in [http://www.atop.co.jp/cmsdesigner/dlfile.php?entryname=talent_data&entryid=00014&fileid=00000001&/emily.pdf pdf format]. In it she claims her hometown to be [[New York City]] and her height and weight measurements would make her clinically [[Skinny|underweight]]. Given that any moron can see from the provided images that Emiry is far too fat to make it as a model, one can only conclude that either the company is bogus and [[lie]]s about their models, that Emiry is a lying [[whore]], or both.
Her various body measurements are available [[OTI]] in [[:File:Emily profile.pdf|pdf format]]. In it she claims her hometown to be [[New York City]] and her height and weight measurements would make her clinically [[Skinny|underweight]]. Given that any moron can see from the provided images that Emiry is far too fat to make it as a model, one can only conclude that either the company is bogus and [[lie]]s about their models, that Emiry is a lying [[whore]], or both.


Other data provided, though obviously this may be total [[bullshit]], includes:
Other data provided, though obviously this may be total [[bullshit]], includes:
: '''DOB:''' 25/5/1989  
:'''DOB:''' 25/5/1989  
: '''[[Blood]] Type:''' [[Irony|B]]  
:'''[[Blood]] Type:''' [[Irony|B]]  
: '''Height:''' 178cm
:'''Height:''' 178cm
: '''Breasts/Waist/Hips:''' 91cm/60cm/93cm
:'''Breasts/Waist/Hips:''' 91cm/60cm/93cm
: '''Shoe size:''' 25.5cm
:'''Shoe size:''' 25.5cm
: '''Hobbies:''' [[Music]], "[[Video game]]"
:'''Hobbies:''' [[Music]], "[[Video game]]"
: '''Talent:''' Singing
:'''Talent:''' Singing
: '''Dream:''' To be a singer.
:'''Dream:''' To be a singer.


At this point [[irony|the world is holding its breath]] and waiting with trepidation Emily's descent from bikini shots along that most common of routes, passing rapidly to topless work to nudes to soft porn to hardcore [[anal]] and finally to death from a [[heroin]] [[overdose]] at 32.
At this point [[irony|the world is holding its breath]] and waiting with trepidation Emily's descent from bikini shots along that most common of routes, passing rapidly to topless work to nudes to soft porn to hardcore [[anal]] and finally to death from a [[heroin]] [[overdose]] at 32.
Line 284: Line 280:
== Gravure DVD ==
== Gravure DVD ==


She will apparently be releasing a DVD on September 25th for everyone to furiously masturbate to. Her latest post in her [http://ameblo.jp/applemilk17/ official moonspeak blog] linked to a site with promotional pictures.  Trying to capitalize on the internet she reanacts [[Tubgirl]] in her video. In her new DVD she also does full anal, double penetration, bukkake and an all lesbian gangbang.
She will apparently be releasing a DVD on September 25th for everyone to furiously masturbate to. Her latest post in her [https://ameblo.jp/applemilk17/ official moonspeak blog] linked to a site with promotional pictures.  Trying to capitalize on the internet she reanacts [[Tubgirl]] in her video. In her new DVD she also does full anal, double penetration, bukkake and an all lesbian gangbang.


A highly-fappable video preview of her DVD is available [http://vision.ameba.jp/watch.do?movie=1048460 here] (push the button on the left to start it). Also available [http://www.pornhost.com/2198399770/ here], but the quality's not as good.
A highly-fappable video preview of her DVD is available <s>[http://vision.ameba.jp/watch.do?movie=1048460 here] (push the button on the left to start it). Also available [http://www.pornhost.com/2198399770/ here]</s> (dead), but the quality's not as good.


A new downloadable Applemilk video is available <s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7YW8J17Q here]</s> BALEETED for free, courtesy of [[Anonymous]]. '''WARNING:''' Skip the first half of the video if you are allergic to fully-clothed weeaboo whores pretending to speak Japanese.
A new downloadable Applemilk video is available <s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7YW8J17Q here]</s> BALEETED for free, courtesy of [[Anonymous]]. '''WARNING:''' Skip the first half of the video if you are allergic to fully-clothed weeaboo whores pretending to speak Japanese.


== YouTube Live ==
=== DVD Gallery ===
<center><youtube>rNmeVrVtsYc</youtube>
<br>
Emiry's interview of YouTube Live
for translation of the video, go [[Talk:Applemilk1988#Fail_on_YouTube_LIVE_Tokyo|here]].</center>
 
Other: Since [[YouTube]] has held a [[retarded]] live "event" even on [[Japan|the Moon]], Emiry was sure to turn up there. Guess who she met? [[Weeaboo]] King Surpreme, Danny Choo. His comment so far is "And as for this lovely lady? Her name is Emily - a comrade model who is also an incredibly popular YouTuber - her channel here.". Fear is going around that she mistakes his english dick for a japanese one and goes after a married weeaboo.
 
== The End of a Career ==
 
Despite being [[lie|totally fluent in Japanese]] and being [[lie|loved by so many people]] Emiry is going home to America.
<br>But why?
<br>Why would she leave the country she loves so much? 
 
Because she can't get a visa to stay another year.  She may [[delusions|claim]] to be a [[model]] but she has only had [[fail|one photoshoot]], and even then [[bullshit|she boasted]] about it her pretty intense [[jewtube|Youtube]] [[Talk:Applemilk1988#Fail_on_YouTube_LIVE_Tokyo|rant]]. Because of this - and the fact her last visa was a [[student]] visa for a '''[[language]] [[school]]''' (she's ''completely fluent'', so shouldn't she be ''teaching'' there?) - she is going home, and her [[dream|career]] is over... for now.
 
== The "Triumphant" Return ==
 
Visaless and boyfriendless, Emily picked up her suitcase, wiped her dad's semen off her face and got on the plane back to [[Japan]].  She started teaching English in cafes and [[scam|begging for money]] on [[Jewtube|Youtube]] as her agency had dropped her for being too [[fat]].  Telling everyone she was [[lie|going to make it big in TV]], despite her ineligibility to work (no visa. remember?) she soldiered on because her latest goal was to go to University!  Oh the glory!  But two things stood in fair Princess Applemilk's way.  First, it was too late to apply to get into a Japanese university this year, so all that lovely [[cash]] she'd been stealing off of YouTubers was going straight into her back pocket, and second, she has no chance of getting in anywhere because her Japanese is still so shit and her grades are [[Fail|appalling]].
 
She must be so ronery.
 
In November 2008 she was spotted outside [[fag|Arty Farty]], the gayest club in Tokyo, with an Azn woman presumed to be her [[lesbian]] sex slave.
 
== A Challenger Appears! ==
 
Emiry hates all other White girls who make it on to Japanese Television as they [[Oh noes|could pose a threat to her becoming a Japanese Pop Star]]. It must not be easy being upstaged by the likes of Leah Dizon and [[Magibon|horse faced hillbillies who could give both the Japanese and the British a run for their money in the bad teeth department]]. Enter [[http://www.youtube.com/user/xBextahx Beckii Cruel]] who by sheer self control, managed to get signed by 3 Japanese labels all the while managing not to end up looking like a Beluga whale washed ashore. See Emiry, not all White Idols in Japan have to show their asshole on DVD and get bukaked by [[Over 9000]] Japanese salary men on a crumbling rooftop to reach stardom. According to Japanese media, Beckii Cruel was also named the next "Leah Dizon" who Emiry [[Lulz|swore to defeat in her past chat logs]].
 
== Princess Emiry: Elderly Trap? You decide. ==
 
In a shocking new video, Emiry had somehow been coerced into appearing on screen without several pounds of cheap Japanese make-up obscuring her face. For extra shock value, the video was available in high-definition. The video has since been taken down, however, as the [[internet hate machine]] keeps churnin'.
 
The bags under her eyes have now actually outgrown her eyes.
 
[[Image:EmiryBags.png]]
 
Science has proven it.
 
== Shitty Music : c.cedille  ==
Whilst not her first attempt at music ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ntvSdQjX4s&feature=related| Here's her old shitty music video]) Emiry's shitty pop band recently churned out a single called 'hidamari' which means 'Kawaii But Vapid'. This autobiographical floor-filler is the first track off the album 'en lecture' which comes out May 12th 2010. Fans (read: Emiry's relations) are recommended not to purchase immidiatly, but wait for the bargain 95% sale off, due to start May 13th 2010.
 
Here's her shitty music video. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_fOQpBvCn0&feature=related| c.cedille - hidamari]. Lennon wept.
 
== HOLY SHIT! DMCA'd! ==
 
As somewhat expected, Applemilk, being the pretentious jap fucker that she is has decided that her [[art|porn]] is worth claiming a [[DMCA]] to. Unsurprisingly, this has led to a number of videos depicting her [[hot|fat]] ass being stripped off the interwebs. For great justice, mirror every video she has. In time, she will realize her mistake in the first place was being born at all. Or not. Either way, her abuse of DMCA must be used as a [[raep|rape]] tool.
 
== DVD Gallery ==
{{cg|Behold|applegallery3|center|<gallery>
{{cg|Behold|applegallery3|center|<gallery>
Image:Whorelax.jpg|A wild Whorelax appears!
Image:Whorelax.jpg|A wild Whorelax appears!
Line 381: Line 330:
Image:Thatwasprettyintense.jpg|That's about it, hope you're as disappointed as I was!
Image:Thatwasprettyintense.jpg|That's about it, hope you're as disappointed as I was!
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
== YouTube Live ==
<br>
{{frame|<youtube>rNmeVrVtsYc</youtube>|margin=auto}}
<br>
Emiry's interview of YouTube Live
for translation of the video, go [[Talk:Applemilk1988#Fail_on_YouTube_LIVE_Tokyo|here]].</center>
Other: Since [[YouTube]] has held a [[retarded]] live "event" even on [[Japan|the Moon]], Emiry was sure to turn up there. Guess who she met? [[Weeaboo]] King Surpreme, Danny Choo. His comment so far is "And as for this lovely lady? Her name is Emily - a comrade model who is also an incredibly popular YouTuber - her channel here.". Fear is going around that she mistakes his english dick for a japanese one and goes after a married weeaboo.
== The End of a Career ==
Despite being [[lie|totally fluent in Japanese]] and being [[lie|loved by so many people]] Emiry is going home to America.
<br>But why?
<br>Why would she leave the country she loves so much? 
Because she can't get a visa to stay another year.  She may [[delusions|claim]] to be a [[model]] but she has only had [[fail|one photoshoot]], and even then [[bullshit|she boasted]] about it her pretty intense [[jewtube|Youtube]] [[Talk:Applemilk1988#Fail_on_YouTube_LIVE_Tokyo|rant]]. Because of this - and the fact her last visa was a [[student]] visa for a '''[[language]] [[school]]''' (she's ''completely fluent'', so shouldn't she be ''teaching'' there?) - she is going home, and her [[dream|career]] is over... for now.
== The "Triumphant" Return ==
Visaless and boyfriendless, Emily picked up her suitcase, wiped her dad's semen off her face and got on the plane back to [[Japan]].  She started teaching English in cafes and [[scam|begging for money]] on [[Jewtube|Youtube]] as her agency had dropped her for being too [[fat]].  Telling everyone she was [[lie|going to make it big in TV]], despite her ineligibility to work (no visa. remember?) she soldiered on because her latest goal was to go to University!  Oh the glory!  But two things stood in fair Princess Applemilk's way.  First, it was too late to apply to get into a Japanese university this year, so all that lovely [[cash]] she'd been stealing off of YouTubers was going straight into her back pocket, and second, she has no chance of getting in anywhere because her Japanese is still so shit and her grades are [[Fail|appalling]].
She must be so ronery.
In November 2008 she was spotted outside [[fag|Arty Farty]], the gayest club in Tokyo, with an Azn woman presumed to be her [[lesbian]] sex slave.
== A Challenger Appears! ==
Emiry hates all other White girls who make it on to Japanese Television as they [[Oh noes|could pose a threat to her becoming a Japanese Pop Star]]. It must not be easy being upstaged by the likes of Leah Dizon and [[Magibon|horse faced hillbillies who could give both the Japanese and the British a run for their money in the bad teeth department]]. <s>Enter {{yt|xBextahx|Beckii Cruel}} who by sheer self control, managed to get signed by 3 Japanese labels all the while managing not to end up looking like a Beluga whale washed ashore. See Emiry, not all White Idols in Japan have to show their asshole on DVD and get bukaked by [[Over 9000]] Japanese salary men on a crumbling rooftop to reach stardom. According to Japanese media, Beckii Cruel was also named the next "Leah Dizon" who Emiry [[Lulz|swore to defeat in her past chat logs]].</s> Nice self-plug, Beckii. Truth is no one cares about you and you're worse than AppleMilk.
== Princess Emiry: Elderly Trap? You decide. ==
In a shocking new video, Emiry had somehow been coerced into appearing on screen without several pounds of cheap Japanese make-up obscuring her face. For extra shock value, the video was available in high-definition. The video has since been taken down, however, as the [[internet hate machine]] keeps churnin'.
The bags under her eyes have now actually outgrown her eyes.
[[Image:EmiryBags.png]]
Science has proven it.
== Shitty Music : c.cedille  ==
Whilst not her first attempt at music <s>({{ytlink|-ntvSdQjX4s|Here's her old shitty music video}})</s> (dead) Emiry's shitty pop band recently churned out a single called 'hidamari' which means 'Kawaii But Vapid'. This autobiographical floor-filler is the first track off the album 'en lecture' which comes out May 12th 2010. Fans (read: Emiry's relations) are recommended not to purchase immidiatly, but wait for the bargain 95% sale off, due to start May 13th 2010.
Here's her shitty music video. <s>{{ytlink|B_fOQpBvCn0|c.cedille - hidamari}}</s> (dead). Lennon wept.
== HOLY SHIT! DMCA'd! ==
As somewhat expected, Applemilk, being the pretentious jap fucker that she is has decided that her [[art|porn]] is worth claiming a [[DMCA]] to. Unsurprisingly, this has led to a number of videos depicting her [[hot|fat]] ass being stripped off the interwebs. For great justice, mirror every video she has. In time, she will realize her mistake in the first place was being born at all. Or not. Either way, her abuse of DMCA must be used as a [[raep|rape]] tool.


== AIM and Screenshots ==
== AIM and Screenshots ==
Line 412: Line 409:
Image:Applemilkhastkeinebooben.jpg|There Is No Apples In Milk.
Image:Applemilkhastkeinebooben.jpg|There Is No Apples In Milk.
Image:Emiry.jpg|Yup. This sums up her current sex life in Japan.
Image:Emiry.jpg|Yup. This sums up her current sex life in Japan.
Image:APPLEMILK_1988_PORN_DEBUTE.jpg|PORN DEBUT
File:Applemilk1988 - Debut エミリー (DVD) - cover art.jpg|PORN DEBUT
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Applemilk cock.jpg|Some weeaboo... that penis is obviously not Asian.
Image:Applemilk cock.jpg|Some weeaboo... that penis is obviously not Asian.
Line 440: Line 437:
Image:Mmmuffins.jpg| Showing off her glorious muffintop.
Image:Mmmuffins.jpg| Showing off her glorious muffintop.
Image:EmiryNose.jpg| Some PRETTY INTENSE nostrils and colossal snorlax-angle.
Image:EmiryNose.jpg| Some PRETTY INTENSE nostrils and colossal snorlax-angle.
File:Applemilk1988.JPG
File:ApplemilkCutsHerself.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


== External Links ==
== External Links ==


* {{youtube2|applemilk1988|Her SUPER KAWAII Youtube }}   
*[https://www.xvideos.com/video1356481/applemilk1988_emily_debut Not a porn]
* {{youtube2|ringomilk1988|Her SUPER KAWAII KARAOKE Youtube}} - Her singing Youtube.
*{{yt|applemilk1988|Her SUPER KAWAII Youtube }}   
* {{youtube2|gothicmae|Her "gothic mae" Youtube }} - Emiry as a goth, not nearly as hot as one may have thought.
*{{yt|ringomilk1988|Her SUPER KAWAII KARAOKE Youtube}} - Her singing Youtube.
* {{youtube2|1Pelito1|Her SUPER KAWAII SECRET Youtube}}
*{{yt|gothicmae|Her "gothic mae" Youtube }} - Emiry as a goth, not nearly as hot as one may have thought.
* {{myspace|mongaku|Her SUPER KAWAII Myspace}}  
*{{yt|1Pelito1|Her SUPER KAWAII SECRET Youtube}}
* {{myspace|etherdive|Her '''NEW''' SUPER KAWAII Myspace}}  
*<s>{{myspace|mongaku|Her SUPER KAWAII Myspace}}</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://myspace.com/mongaku|20090205201913|title=(Archived)}}
* {{ljuser|saigo-no-tokage|Her SUPER KAWAII LiveJournal}}  
*<s>{{myspace|etherdive|Her '''NEW''' SUPER KAWAII Myspace}}</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://myspace.com/etherdive|20080707005042|title=(Archived)}}
* [http://ameblo.jp/applemilk17 Her SUPER KAWAII moonspeak blog]
*{{ljuser|saigo-no-tokage|Her SUPER KAWAII LiveJournal}}  
* [http://ameblo.jp/c-cedille/ Her NEW SUPER KAWAII moonspeak blog]
*[https://ameblo.jp/applemilk17 Her SUPER KAWAII moonspeak blog]
* [http://applemilk1988.informe.com/index.php Her SUPER KAWAII foru-- err, BBS]
*[https://ameblo.jp/c-cedille/ Her NEW SUPER KAWAII moonspeak blog]
* [irc://irc.rizon.net/Applemilk1988 Her SUPER KAWAII IRC Channel]
*{{archive|Thh8e|Her SUPER KAWAII foru-- err, BBS}}
* [http://www.atop.co.jp/talent.php HOLY SHIT SHE'S ACTUALLY TRYING TO BE A SINGER IN JAPAN]
*[irc://irc.rizon.net/Applemilk1988 Her SUPER KAWAII IRC Channel]
* [http://vision.ameba.jp/watch.do?movie=1048460 Her PORN DEBUT 2 minute preview]
*{{wayback|http://www.atop.co.jp:80/talent.php|20080618090545|title=HOLY SHIT SHE'S ACTUALLY TRYING TO BE A SINGER IN JAPAN}}
* [http://www.filesonic.com/folder/0e39468739b61fc3b '''Picture Collection and Idol Video''']
*<s>[http://vision.ameba.jp/watch.do?movie=1048460 Her PORN DEBUT 2 minute preview]</s> (dead)
*<s>[http://www.filesonic.com/folder/0e39468739b61fc3b '''Picture Collection and Idol Video''']</s>
*[https://old.sage.moe/b/thread/35013271/ Hacking Emiry - Pt. 1]
*[https://old.sage.moe/b/thread/35020130/ Hacking Emiry - Pt. 2]


{{4chanarchive|35013271|Hacking Emiry - Pt. 1|35020130|Hacking Emiry - Pt. 2}}
{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{whores}}
{{whores}}

Latest revision as of 21:56, 1 September 2023

This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Let this picture set the tone for the rest of the article.
Hay guys am I Japanese yet

Applemilk1988 (AKA: Emily Connor) is a Japanophilic YouTube celebrity who is totally fluent in Japanese.

Whereas some Japanophiles keep their power level to a specific maximum (and the horrendous majority of them don't), she couldn't act like a person if she wanted to. Not only does she appear to the normal discerning eye to be completely fucking confused as to what color she is, even her friends and family can't help but take notice of how she really is convinced that she's Japanese.

As of May 2009, Emily is most visible on her website/blogbaleeted (Archived), try here, which links to her MySpace, YouTube and Twitter accounts.

The Legacy of Faggotry

Anon's buttrape is PRETTY INTENSE.
AT FULL FORCE

To her, everything is "pretty intense," and she uses this adjective for everything when she's not using moonspeak. She also wishes to be a J-pop idol, but due to her lack of talent, substance, a soul, or Asian blood, we can thank sweet merciful fuck that that will never happen.

Last Thursday, Emiry's MySpace (dead) caught the attention of the nigras on 4chan /b/, some thinking that she was the real life Cracky-chan. But when they realized that this was actually not Cracky but just some delusional weeaboo, those who had mistaken her for Cracky cried and/or just fapped to more guro porn. Like cancer, Emily's MySpace and YouTube profiles were spammed over and over again, prompting Anonymous to troll her videos and her Stickam profile (which she has since registered on the Japanese Stickam site).

The Other Legacy of Faggotry

March 2007, a user from 4chan spotted a YouTube video of a girl who was holding a contest. Nothing special, until she mentioned that her dream was to get over nine thousand subscribers on her YouTube. A few moments later, Anonymous posted the link on /b/ with little to no response, so "samefag spamming" commenced and the thread quickly got filled with "I would do her in the mouth so she would shut the fuck up."

After countless amounts of Youtube spammings she got online and started to defend her ways, deleting comments and confirming she was a part of 2ch and the "chan scene." A few threads later, her other websites, MySpace and blogs were found. The more Anonymous found, the more it got obvious that the power level of this person was beyond anything Anonymous had ever encountered before.

A few days after the first threads began, Emiry arrived on /b/ itself. She and her followers spammed the threads with countless images of her and her friends. For a short time it seemed that Emily was winning over the internet hate machine... but this was about to change as a poster on 2ch's English board posted what is today known as the AT FULL FORCE post.

Interest in Emily quickly faded, but she held a special place in Anonymous' heart and Anonymous did not forget. Sort of.

Fun Facts

Here are some (revised) facts about Applemilk:

  1. "I might hate Ayumi Hamasaki... [but] I can do karaoke to most of her songs, impersonating her voice... I cried the first time I heard ['RAINBOW']."
  2. Just like everyone else, she found out about Japanese from animé - Sailor Moon, no less. She claims to speak it "fluently" even though her videos prove her wrong:
  3. she uses ano... (umm...) to connect sentences,
  4. she makes several amateur mistakes and
  5. it has been said that she uses a dictionary when updating her blog.
  6. She has diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome by some quack psychiatrist. This doesn't mean shit to anyone but herself.
  7. She thinks she's the only female who plays video games.
  8. She managed to flee from a locked garage where a man held a gun to her. Everybody believes this..
  9. "It makes me sadder... but at the same time it cheers me up."
  10. She is giving people very bad advice on her yesjapan.com video series.

Jewbacca's Final Solution to the Japanophile Question

Gender Bender "Matthew"

Emiry finally became truly internets famous in August 2007, when the internet hate machine finally owned the imbecilic weeaboo. Anonymous and Jewbacca obtained her Jewtube password, GOATSED her userpage, and finally deleted all her videos and closed her account. More ownage soon followed.

In the early morning hours of Saturday, August 4th 2007 a noble /b/tard, Jewbacca, hacked Applemilk's Jewtube password (which was LordNishikawa555 because she's a weeaboo), and proceeded to destroy her page by taking down all of her old videos, uploading a Tayroll video, and filling her page with loldongs and goatse. Her Facebook wasn't safe from Jewbacca's wrath either, and at approximately 3:35 AM it was compromised.

At approximately 6:39 AM, a third key email was confirmed and later the password. These were quickly given to Ebaums because, like a dumb shit, Jewbacca doesn't know Moonspeak. With access granted to Anonymous, her Stickam was totally ravaged, displaying the page with Emily doing what she does best: weeabooing and handjobs.

Syphilis is SUPER KAWAII DESU NE

Artistic representation of Applemilk's boyfriend Daisuke
The grand result of Japanophile syndrome.
JAPANAIDS IS SUPER KAWAII.

Shortly after Emily's accounts got raped, word came in from a friend she ditched in Japan about her sexual exploits. Even though she will exclusively fuck only Japanese guys, she still has no problem getting cock any chance she can. A leaked AIM conversation (pictured on right) reveals that she contracted a SUPER KAWAII STD from her honky loving boyfriend Daisuke, citing swollen glands and creepy crawlies in her vagoo as proof. Anon's medical wing has decided that this could easily be syphilis. Poor, poor Emily.

Syphilis is easily treated with high dose intravenous antibiotics but if untreated leads to initial delusions of grandeur and changes in personality along with recurrent painless sores and eventually to insanity, just like Al Capone.

Recent Developments

Emiry will make an attempt to come back to Stickam. In the her own words:


 
 
My first Stickam live is going to be on Thursday night at 9PM Japan time. If you have time, please come at watch!
 

 


Anonymous is rumored to be gathering its armies to shut the weeaboo down once again.

Last Thursday Applemilk updated her Youtube account with a new video (plz troll; TITS OR GTFO) in which she describes her methods of combating her recent case of cockroaches with a 100% Nihon model first aid spray. So far, she has failed to rid herself of her ailment.

AppleMeth

In her newest video, Emiry is extremely irritable, has an increased appetite for sex, doesn't stop to take a fucking breath, and talks about paying one thousand USD for Japanese tea, although her quote of 100 yen is actually about one dollar. This proves that she will never be AZN because she can't do maths. In response to comments pointing out her meth-head behavior, she threw a paranoid fit and deleted fucking everything, like you'd expect from a tweaker. AppleMeth had better watch out, as getting caught with drugs in Japan will get your white tourist gaijin ass fed to Godzilla.

October 15, 2007: "New" LJ (now deleted)

Applemilk's new BF Daisuke~ HE RIKEY WHITE WOMAN!
Typical Applemilk fan

Last Thursday Emiry created a new LJ in attempts to push her faggy lies onto her drooling fanbase. The username was pornocow, which was sickeningly accurate. It is important to note that she added herself as a friend, which is probably one of the most egotistical things a person can do (which describes Emiry perfectly). Once raspberrysyrup posted the link, she deleted fucking everything in attempts to salvage her pride.

No such thing, Emiry!

[Jesus Put It Away!Check Out My New LJ]

Note: according to this LJ:

Although it's unknown whether or not she's still using these, it might be worth it to try to say hello.


[-+]22 September, 10 PM:

Blah blah blah, basically bullshit that no one cares about. She says she wants to grow more beautiful. Let's fucking hope so.


[-+]23 September, 10 AM:

Emily is annoyed at her "job" (she says she makes money for it), just like everyone else in this god damned world. She makes sure to feed her own ego by saying that she has thousands of people watching her.


[-+]23 September, 4 PM:

Emily realizes what she's done with her life and posts a one word journal: "Fuck." Upon further review, the title of said post is "中絶", which means abortion, leading the /b/tards to the conclusion that the spawn of applemilk was swiftly cored.


[-+]25 September, 9 AM:

"I feel like this is going to be my first LiveJournal where I can just write whatever I want to, and not worry about it. I'll remain anonymous on here, never saying my name or where I live." This is a lie because she would never do anything privately. She's an attention whore and her ego does not allow her to do something privately. She also said that she'd delete fucking everything if someone found out, but luckily raspberrysyrup made screenshots of everything for the lulz. She blahs on after this, feeding her own ego with bullshit like "Whenever I walk down the street, people recognize me." "My best friend betrayed me and posted my entire personal life and personal information on the internet." Then she bawwws about being almost raped, er, was it actual rape? The rest of the entry is emo TL;DR.


[-+]25 September, 12 AM:

Says she found a job. It's unlikely that it's a real one.


[-+]26 September, 11 AM:

She talks about trying to find a job. She refers to herself as the ultimate manipulator. She pats herself on the back for having a few friends.


[-+]27 September, 12 PM:

She didn't hang out with those friends (therefore that pat on the back is null and void?). All of Korea is angry with her, which makes it just like America now! She got a job offer from a nursery, but who in their right mind would hire someone like THAT to take care of her kids? "I WANT TO BE A MODEL YET I'M STILL HUNGRY, THIS MAY NOT CONTINUE, GOD DAMN IT."


[-+]28 September, 3 PM:

She blahs on about her drunkie mother in a TL;DR post. Probably to pretend that's "why she's so fucked up," since she never really cares about anyone else unless it's for her own personal profit.


[-+]29 September, 7 PM:

She hurt her knee and she's pregnant.


[-+]30 September, 11 PM:

RAPE ANNIVERSARY! HAPPY RAPE DAY, EMILY!


[-+]01 October, 9 AM:

Lots of emo bawwwwing about raining and school.


[-+]11 October, 1 PM:

She claims to have forgotten about the LJ. She says she goes to the gym frequently and doesn't eat (which she somehow says is "healthy"), and then misuses the semi-colon when she says dieting "controls the lives of women." Not all women, bitch. Just you. She talks about her boyfriend, then about her failing to get a job and actually do anything with her life.


[-+]15 October, 8 AM:

She and her Mom watch a documentary about anorexia. As Emiry is easily influenced and an attention whore to boot, she mentions she wants to go back to this. Blah blah blah, pro-ana bullshit, etc.


[-+]15 October, 12 PM:

Bawwwing about not having enough money, and then turning around and saying she's getting $800 items in the mail and constantly receiving money from her "adoring fans." WTF? She also thinks that the only thing keeping her from 'striking it rich' is that she's fat, when really it's her lack of talent and lack of beauty. She goes on to write about how she thinks that otaku idolize her, while basically calling them scum.


LJ Gallery (Chronological Order)

Chronomilkical Order About missing Pics
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YouTube Responses of The Lulzy Sort

Leah Dizon, who Emiry desperately tries to be like and fails horribly.
Emily vs. Leah



Contact Info

Recent Activity on Stickam

Emiry herself is currently very active on Stickam ( profile), a place where faggots go to live chat about how miserable their lives are. She hosts live chats with her fans at random hours of the day, opening a vast hole of lulz potential.

NOTE: You have to add her as a friend first, but she accepts everyone almost immediately.

As Stickam has grown into a global camwhore network, it has expanded to Japan, where Emiry of course quickly joined (profile) with several other weeaboo faggots who attempt to invade Japan. She seems quite active, making friends with OMG real Azns, probably one day hoping to achieve full domination of Japan's internet.

EMIRY: Debut in Japan!!!

So if you didn't know how famous Emily is in Japanlands, you should know now. She was featured in a tiny talk show at Ameba Studio called チョメらナイト ("Chomera Night") in July 08 by the same people who host her blog). In this lulzy video, Emily sits there looking so kawaii with some material hanging off her nose, which is good quality comedy.

She sticks mainly to hai (yes) instead of interacting with the hosts, and at the end repeats "My name is Paul McCartney" when asked what she thought of the segment. Don't worry Emily, they were laughing WITH YOU.

CIA Operations Against Applemilk1988, May 3-30, 2008

AIM Convos with Jack Ryan

You actually thought you were receiving media attention?

On 3 May 2008, the successor to Jewbacca known as "Jack Ryan" made startling headway in mind-fucking the weeaboo. He managed to get her on AIM and engage her in a "pretty intense" conversation. The talks lasted for two days until he finally could not take it anymore, and offended her to the point where she stopped talking. In the end, she thought a 42-year old radio disc jockey named Chio from Philadelphia was her stalker, and she still believes it to this day. It seems she only talked to "Jack Ryan" when she thought she could get on the radio; all for the publicity which she so desires but never seems to be able to obtain.

All four conversations are available in a zip file here. (dead)

Epic Info

Jack Ryan has recently made epic strides in the war against Applemilk; her safe haven in New York has been exposed via her father, Kevin's, contact information. Along with her stepmother's address in Florida, this new information confirms that the weeaboo is not fully secure anywhere outside of her current temporary residence in Japan. This was realized on 30 May 2008. Due to the highly personal nature of this information and its potential for abuse, it is not allowed to be posted directly on ED; therefore, this text document (dead) contains the addresses and other info that was formerly on this page.

Deleted Fucking Everything

Recently, Emily caught onto Anonymous and deleted fucking everything, ending in the loss of a few old LJs, an old blurty account, and a very embarrassing MySpace. Unfortunately for Emily, there are screencaps of everything, which are available for download here (dead). One of the deleted LJs as well as the deleted MySpace can be seen below in the M-chan section of this article.

However, Emily forgot to delete a website linked to one of the LJ accounts which can be found here. To sum up most of the website, here's an excerpt:

Name: Takeuchi Mae aka MaeChan
Nicknames: Mamae, Maechan, Hitoku
Age: Himitsu desu...
Race: Part Japanese Part American
Location: Florida
Born In: New York and raised in Tokyo
Sexuality: Bisexual

M-chan: the Beginning of Emily's "Career"

Unknown to some, Emily attempted to become a model/pop star in America before going to Japan as recorded in her old LJ and MySpace (deleted). This showcased her sixteen year old self in a sexy outfit as she whored around a couple of cops on a dirty street. It's important to note that her father paid for all these photographs, probably to add them to his own growing personal collection.

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Applemilk Becomes a Gravure "Model"

Emiry's DVD cover
Another whore Applemilk strives to be like.

Following her boob job earlier this year, Emiry has been hired by the Japanese agency ATOP to be a gravure model. Srsly.

It is not currently known how many Japanese businessmen were blown to make this happen. Sources reckon at least 100, and potentially over 9000. But hey, she is our first foreign gravure model, so that has to count for something! Right?

Unfortunately, the video ends with her totally fluent Japanese coming out like a robot. She should pay better attention to how native Japanese gravure idols thank their watchers at the end.

You can view Emiry's Debut Video here.

Her various body measurements are available OTI in pdf format. In it she claims her hometown to be New York City and her height and weight measurements would make her clinically underweight. Given that any moron can see from the provided images that Emiry is far too fat to make it as a model, one can only conclude that either the company is bogus and lies about their models, that Emiry is a lying whore, or both.

Other data provided, though obviously this may be total bullshit, includes:

DOB: 25/5/1989
Blood Type: B
Height: 178cm
Breasts/Waist/Hips: 91cm/60cm/93cm
Shoe size: 25.5cm
Hobbies: Music, "Video game"
Talent: Singing
Dream: To be a singer.

At this point the world is holding its breath and waiting with trepidation Emily's descent from bikini shots along that most common of routes, passing rapidly to topless work to nudes to soft porn to hardcore anal and finally to death from a heroin overdose at 32.

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Gravure DVD

She will apparently be releasing a DVD on September 25th for everyone to furiously masturbate to. Her latest post in her official moonspeak blog linked to a site with promotional pictures. Trying to capitalize on the internet she reanacts Tubgirl in her video. In her new DVD she also does full anal, double penetration, bukkake and an all lesbian gangbang.

A highly-fappable video preview of her DVD is available here (push the button on the left to start it). Also available here (dead), but the quality's not as good.

A new downloadable Applemilk video is available here BALEETED for free, courtesy of Anonymous. WARNING: Skip the first half of the video if you are allergic to fully-clothed weeaboo whores pretending to speak Japanese.

DVD Gallery

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YouTube Live



Emiry's interview of YouTube Live

for translation of the video, go here.

Other: Since YouTube has held a retarded live "event" even on the Moon, Emiry was sure to turn up there. Guess who she met? Weeaboo King Surpreme, Danny Choo. His comment so far is "And as for this lovely lady? Her name is Emily - a comrade model who is also an incredibly popular YouTuber - her channel here.". Fear is going around that she mistakes his english dick for a japanese one and goes after a married weeaboo.

The End of a Career

Despite being totally fluent in Japanese and being loved by so many people Emiry is going home to America.
But why?
Why would she leave the country she loves so much?

Because she can't get a visa to stay another year. She may claim to be a model but she has only had one photoshoot, and even then she boasted about it her pretty intense Youtube rant. Because of this - and the fact her last visa was a student visa for a language school (she's completely fluent, so shouldn't she be teaching there?) - she is going home, and her career is over... for now.

The "Triumphant" Return

Visaless and boyfriendless, Emily picked up her suitcase, wiped her dad's semen off her face and got on the plane back to Japan. She started teaching English in cafes and begging for money on Youtube as her agency had dropped her for being too fat. Telling everyone she was going to make it big in TV, despite her ineligibility to work (no visa. remember?) she soldiered on because her latest goal was to go to University! Oh the glory! But two things stood in fair Princess Applemilk's way. First, it was too late to apply to get into a Japanese university this year, so all that lovely cash she'd been stealing off of YouTubers was going straight into her back pocket, and second, she has no chance of getting in anywhere because her Japanese is still so shit and her grades are appalling.

She must be so ronery.

In November 2008 she was spotted outside Arty Farty, the gayest club in Tokyo, with an Azn woman presumed to be her lesbian sex slave.

A Challenger Appears!

Emiry hates all other White girls who make it on to Japanese Television as they could pose a threat to her becoming a Japanese Pop Star. It must not be easy being upstaged by the likes of Leah Dizon and horse faced hillbillies who could give both the Japanese and the British a run for their money in the bad teeth department. Enter Beckii Cruel who by sheer self control, managed to get signed by 3 Japanese labels all the while managing not to end up looking like a Beluga whale washed ashore. See Emiry, not all White Idols in Japan have to show their asshole on DVD and get bukaked by Over 9000 Japanese salary men on a crumbling rooftop to reach stardom. According to Japanese media, Beckii Cruel was also named the next "Leah Dizon" who Emiry swore to defeat in her past chat logs. Nice self-plug, Beckii. Truth is no one cares about you and you're worse than AppleMilk.

Princess Emiry: Elderly Trap? You decide.

In a shocking new video, Emiry had somehow been coerced into appearing on screen without several pounds of cheap Japanese make-up obscuring her face. For extra shock value, the video was available in high-definition. The video has since been taken down, however, as the internet hate machine keeps churnin'.

The bags under her eyes have now actually outgrown her eyes.

Science has proven it.

Shitty Music : c.cedille

Whilst not her first attempt at music ( Here's her old shitty music video) (dead) Emiry's shitty pop band recently churned out a single called 'hidamari' which means 'Kawaii But Vapid'. This autobiographical floor-filler is the first track off the album 'en lecture' which comes out May 12th 2010. Fans (read: Emiry's relations) are recommended not to purchase immidiatly, but wait for the bargain 95% sale off, due to start May 13th 2010.

Here's her shitty music video. c.cedille - hidamari (dead). Lennon wept.

HOLY SHIT! DMCA'd!

As somewhat expected, Applemilk, being the pretentious jap fucker that she is has decided that her porn is worth claiming a DMCA to. Unsurprisingly, this has led to a number of videos depicting her fat ass being stripped off the interwebs. For great justice, mirror every video she has. In time, she will realize her mistake in the first place was being born at all. Or not. Either way, her abuse of DMCA must be used as a rape tool.

AIM and Screenshots

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Other images

Until the end of time About missing Pics
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Featured article August 9, 2007
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