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"World of electric trees"
 
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Looking for information on Ebaumsworld?  [[Shit nobody cares about|This article may be moar relevant.]]
{{DISPLAYTITLE:eBaumsworld.com}}
 
{{achtung|<sub>ebaumsworld.com {{archive|Qr5D9|got sold for 17.5 million!}} Ripping off [[Something Awful|SA]] is a great way to make a fortune!</sub>}}
 
 
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{{achtung|<sub>ebaumsworld.com [http://mashable.com/2007/08/02/ebaumsworld/ got sold for 17.5 million!] Ripping off [[Something Awful|SA]] is a great way to make a fortune!</sub>}}
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[[Image:Ebaumtag.gif|frame|center|this image saved using 32 colors, as eBaum intended.]]
[[Image:Ebaumtag.gif|frame|center|this image saved using 32 colors, as eBaum intended.]]
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[[Serious Fucking Business|All-pervasive and insidious]], at the bleakest, semen-stained heart of the internet lies eBaum's World, the Agent Smith of the [[Matrix]] which stamps the [[watermark]] of [[Satan|the beast]] upon everything [[virgin|pure]] and ruins lives, one life-shattering [[raid]] at a time. Cyber-insurgents swearing [[fellatio|fealty]] to their fell chieftain Eric Bauman, in collusion with the [[Jews]] and the [[china|Republic of Chinkdom]], have covered the whole of the internets with [[bot]]s, [[CSIII|hackers]], [[internet police|virtual pigs]], and [[children]]-seeking robotic [[centipedes]] that hunt down your [[pictures]] and [[dox]] to distribute to recently paroled [[Brian Peppers|serial rapists]] and [[User:OldDirtyBtard|militant jihadists]].
[[Serious Fucking Business|All-pervasive and insidious]], at the bleakest, semen-stained heart of the internet lies eBaum's World, the Agent Smith of the [[Matrix]] which stamps the [[watermark]] of [[Satan|the beast]] upon everything [[virgin|pure]] and ruins lives, one life-shattering [[raid]] at a time. Cyber-insurgents swearing [[fellatio|fealty]] to their fell chieftain Eric Bauman, in collusion with the [[Jews]] and the [[china|Republic of Chinkdom]], have covered the whole of the internets with [[bot]]s, [[CSIII|hackers]], [[internet police|virtual pigs]], and [[children]]-seeking robotic [[centipedes]] that hunt down your [[pictures]] and [[dox]] to distribute to recently paroled [[Brian Peppers|serial rapists]] and [[User:OldDirtyBtard|militant jihadists]].


That [[Alex Wuori|gay porn your <s>girlfriend</s> imaginairy GF found on your MySpace]]? That [[cracker]] wearing a cheap Afro wig who announced that [[The_Great_Deathly_Hallows_IRL_Raid_of_2007|VOLDEMORT KILLS SNAPE]] in the bookstore, which caused your [[loli|tween]] daughter to drown herself in her bubble bath? Those dirty Negroes that annually interrupt your pathetic attempts to get your hands on sum [[JB]] in [[Habbo]]? All from eBaum's World, under the command of Mr. Bauman himself, who takes breaks from having [[buttsecks]] with [[13 year old boy]]s on his [[black|ebony]] throne in the heart of [[Pol Pot|Cambodia]] to [[troll]] [[America]]n high-schools so he can drink the sweet and salty [[Cracky-chan|menstrual blood]] of [[Prussian Blue|blonde, blue-eyed teenage girls]].
That [[Alex Wuori|gay porn your <s>girlfriend</s> imaginary GF found on your Facebook]]? That [[cracker]] wearing a cheap Afro wig who announced that [[The_Great_Deathly_Hallows_IRL_Raid_of_2007|VOLDEMORT KILLS SNAPE]] in the bookstore, which caused your [[loli|tween]] daughter to drown herself in her bubble bath? Those dirty Negroes that annually interrupt your pathetic attempts to get your hands on sum [[JB]] in [[Habbo]]? All from eBaum's World, under the command of Mr. Bauman himself, who takes breaks from having [[buttsecks]] with [[13-year-old boy]]s on his [[black|ebony]] throne in the heart of [[Pol Pot|Cambodia]] to [[troll]] [[America]]n high-schools so he can drink the sweet and salty [[Cracky-chan|menstrual blood]] of [[Prussian Blue|blonde, blue-eyed teenage girls]].


Even as [[you]] read this, eBaum's World is planning the destruction of [[over 9,000]] different targets worldwide with their ability to [[Fox News|explode vans]] of all kinds with cyber-[[telekinesis]]. [[Some argue]] that they have the ability to access any page on the tubes at any time, with a single keystroke. They routinely [[masturbate]] to [[CP|naked pictures of your children]] that they took using your own digital camera. [[Noone]] is safe.
Even as [[you]] read this, eBaum's World is planning the destruction of [[over 9,000]] different targets worldwide with their ability to [[Fox News|explode vans]] of all kinds with cyber-[[telekinesis]]. [[Some argue]] that they have the ability to access any page on the tubes at any time, with a single keystroke. They routinely [[masturbate]] to [[CP|naked pictures of your children]] that they took using your own digital camera. [[Noone]] is safe.
Given that "Baum" is the German word for "tree", the website name can be translated into "world of electric trees".


On a lighter note, all raids performed by any sect of Anonymous is automatically the work of eBaum's World. [[Rule 34|No exceptions.]]
On a lighter note, all raids performed by any sect of Anonymous is automatically the work of eBaum's World. [[Rule 34|No exceptions.]]
__TOC__


==Crimes against the [[Internets]]==
==Crimes against the [[Internets]]==
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==eBaum vs. [[Something Awful]]==
==eBaum vs. [[Something Awful]]==
As previously noted, ''everything'' "hosted" on eBaum's World was created elsewhere, usually humor sites like [[Fark]], [[Something Awful]], [[4chan]], [[Albino Black Sheep]], [[Newgrounds]],  [[YTMND]], or even [[LiveJournal]]. It has been theorized that eBaum has even stolen old content from himself, which of course was previously stolen. Upon noticing a recent update featuring a years-old [[Something_Awful#Comedy_Goldmine|comedy goldmine]], [[goons]] organized a massive [[rape|forum invasion]] and brought parts of eBaum's World to its knees by repeatedly [[spam]]ming [[catchphrases]] and complaining about eBaum's lack of a [[penis|conscience]]. In retaliation, eBaum inserted a snippet of code into every page on his site that requested files from Something Awful's servers. This brought the forums down for five minutes until Radium, the admin who sleeps with SA's servers, returned and changed some file and ended the sloppy [[denial of service]] attack that eBaum had begun.
As previously noted, ''everything'' "hosted" on eBaum's World was created elsewhere, usually humor sites like [[Fark]], [[Something Awful]], [[4chan]], [[Albino Black Sheep]], [[Newgrounds]],  [[YTMND]], or even [[LiveJournal]]. It has been theorized that eBaum has even stolen old content from himself, which of course was previously stolen. Upon noticing a recent update featuring a years-old [[Something_Awful#Comedy_Goldmine|comedy goldmine]], [[goons]] organized a massive [[rape|forum invasion]] and brought parts of eBaum's World to its knees by repeatedly [[spam]]ming [[catchphrases]] and complaining about eBaum's lack of a [[penis|conscience]]. In retaliation, eBaum inserted a snippet of code into every page on his site that requested files from Something Awful's servers. This brought the forums down for five minutes until Radium, the admin who sleeps with SA's servers, returned and changed some file and ended the sloppy [[denial of service]] attack that eBaum had begun.


[[Goons]] Altf4 and Trapezoid decided that, as 80's children's cartoons had taught them, they could help change their shitty little slice of the internet world through the power of [[gay|song]]. What they came up with sounds like a cross between hair metal and a hobo breaking into a piano convention, and the accompanying flash animation is more like an [[MS Paint]] slideshow. Angry [[goons]] and other eBaum's enemies, however, ate the entire thing up.
[[Goons]] Altf4 and [[Lemon Demon|Trapezoid]] decided that, as 80's children's cartoons had taught them, they could help change their shitty little slice of the internet world through the power of [[gay|song]]. What they came up with sounds like a cross between hair metal and a hobo breaking into a piano convention, and the accompanying flash animation is more like an [[MS Paint]] slideshow. Angry [[goons]] and other eBaum's enemies, however, ate the entire thing up.
 
 
{{frame|<youtube>BijChf8ROJU</youtube>|margin=auto}}
 


After a while, eBaum decided he would no longer tolerate the existence of [http://www.ebaumsworldsucks.com ebaumsworldsucks.com] and threatened the owners, saying "I'm going to own this domain in 72 hours either way bro," ([[sic]]). The SA goons promptly laughed. eBaum then got in contact with AltF4, the creator of the flash, pleading with him to take it down. The SA goons, after they finished jerking each other off, then started a LiveJournal community, {{ljcomm|ebaumsucks}}, which is currently trying to make a list of everything that eBaum has stolen. <s>The chatlog can be read [http://www.elohtibbar.com/ebombchat.txt here].</s>
After a while, eBaum decided he would no longer tolerate the existence of {{wayback|http://ebaumsworldsucks.com/|20051108104335|title=ebaumsworldsucks.com}} and threatened the owners, saying "I'm going to own this domain in 72 hours either way bro," ([[sic]]). The SA goons promptly laughed. eBaum then got in contact with AltF4, the creator of the flash, pleading with him to take it down. The SA goons, after they finished jerking each other off, then started a LiveJournal community, {{ljcomm|ebaumsucks}}, which is currently trying to make a list of everything that eBaum has stolen. <s>The chatlog can be read {{wayback|http://www.elohtibbar.com/|20060116052111|title=ebombchat.txt here}}.</s>


The site now lies in purgatory, as everyone realized that protesting eBaum's thievery is like holding a rally against bad traffic: everybody hates it, but it's too prevalent to destroy.
The site now lies in purgatory, as everyone realized that protesting eBaum's thievery is like holding a rally against bad traffic: everybody hates it, but it's too prevalent to destroy.


==eBaum vs [[YTMND]]==
==eBaum vs [[YTMND]]==
In January of 2006, the powers that be at eBaum's World lifted an image from a user at YTMND. In the late hours of Saturday, January 7th, irate YTMND users [http://ebaumsraid.ytmnsfw.com/ launched an attack] against the eBaum's World forums. [[Something Awful]] [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1767622&perpage=40&pagenumber=8], [[Fark]], [[4chan]], LUELinks, [[Gaia Online]], ''VG Cats'', [http://www.genmay.com/ Gen[M<nowiki>]</nowiki>ay] and even [[Wikipedia]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebaum%27s_world#Controversy] were used to get the message out: [[Internet drama|war]] [[All your base are belong to us|was beginning!]]
 
In January of 2006, the powers that be at eBaum's World lifted an image from a user at YTMND. In the late hours of Saturday, January 7th, irate YTMND users [http://ebaumsraid.ytmnsfw.com/ launched an attack] against the eBaum's World forums. '''{{archive|xnsnj|[[Something Awful]]}}''', [[Fark]], [[4chan]], LUELinks, [[Gaia Online]], ''VG Cats'', [https://genmay.com/ Gen[M<nowiki>]</nowiki>ay], and even [[Wikipedia]] '''{{wikilink|EBaum%27s_World#Copyright_infringement_and_controversy|was used}}''' to get the message out: "[[Internet drama|War]] [[All your base are belong to us|was beginning!]]"


eBaum's World barred its doors to new forum users, and the [[n00bs]] began to use .bat files with ping commands to [[Denial of Service|DoS]] eBaum's World in an attempt to bring it down. This attack barely dented the bandwidth usage at eBaum's World - a site that encourages hotlinking to their stolen [[image macro]]s as its main form of advertising.
eBaum's World barred its doors to new forum users, and the [[n00bs]] began to use .bat files with ping commands to [[Denial of Service|DoS]] eBaum's World in an attempt to bring it down. This attack barely dented the bandwidth usage at eBaum's World - a site that encourages hotlinking to their stolen [[image macro]]s as its main form of advertising.


The YTMND webmaster, Jew, posted an [http://ytmnd.com/news/?news_id=13 announcement] on the main page strictly forbidding sites about [[Denial of Service|DDoS]]. This seriously impaired the internets [[Jihad]] against eBaum's World, as their main source of getting the message across was blocked. This didn't stop enraged YTMND fans from fighting back, though, as they crafted a cunning script that [http://www.freewebs.com/ibonk constantly downloads and refreshes] the stolen Lindsay Lohan image from eBaum's server.
The YTMND webmaster, Jew, posted an [https://ytmnd.com/news/?news_id=13 announcement] on the main page strictly forbidding sites about [[Denial of Service|DDoS]]. This seriously impaired the internets [[Jihad]] against eBaum's World, as their main source of getting the message across was blocked. This didn't stop enraged YTMND fans from fighting back, though, as they crafted a cunning script that '''{{archive|uftle|constantly downloads and refreshes}}''' the stolen Lindsay Lohan image from eBaum's server.


After Bauman sent two [http://baumanletters.ytmnd.com/ "cease and desist"] emails, containing poor grammar and even a "[[LOL]]", max finally had enough. He posted a hilarious and witty [http://maxrocksmysocks.ytmnd.com/ email] that totally pwned eBaum's World in general. Also, the original YTMND user that created the original Lohan image started sending cease and desist letters to eBaum's World. It was enough, and eBaum's World finally admitted defeat by [http://wewon.ytmnd.com/ removing] the Lohan image. Since max keeps his word he's keeping his part of the deal and he's going to delete every site that has "eBaum" in the title at midnight. But not that he'd delete every eBaum site, just the ones with "eBaum" in the title. [[ALL CAPS|THIS IS TRUE LUNACY!]]
After Bauman sent two [http://baumanletters.ytmnsfw.com/ "cease and desist"] emails, containing poor grammar and even a "[[LOL]]", max finally had enough. He posted a hilarious and witty {{wayback|http://maxrocksmysocks.ytmnd.com/|20060113024529|title=email}} that totally pwned eBaum's World in general. Also, the original YTMND user that created the original Lohan image started sending cease and desist letters to eBaum's World. It was enough, and eBaum's World finally admitted defeat by [http://wewon.ytmnsfw.com/ removing] the Lohan image. Since max keeps his word he's keeping his part of the deal and he's going to delete every site that has "eBaum" in the title at midnight. But not that he'd delete every eBaum site, just the ones with "eBaum" in the title. [[ALL CAPS|THIS IS TRUE LUNACY!]]


That second week of January, 2006 will long be remembered as the day that the most [[gay|limp-wristed]] [[forum]] [[war]] in history was fought and won, by YTMND's [[drugs|cracked-out]] users.  It will also be remembered as a day when eBaum's World finally was humiliated for being [[Wikipedia|a website full of hacks]].
That second week of January, 2006 will long be remembered as the day that the most [[gay|limp-wristed]] [[forum]] [[war]] in history was fought and won, by YTMND's [[drugs|cracked-out]] users.  It will also be remembered as a day when eBaum's World finally was humiliated for being [[Wikipedia|a website full of hacks]].


==eBaum's World vs. [[Newgrounds]]==
==eBaum's World vs. [[Newgrounds]]==
Hating eBaum is somewhat of a fad on the Newgrounds forums. If you even MENTION Bauman, you will get flamed, assraped, banned, tied down and beaten senseless with bansticks, and banned and assraped again. This fad started when a random [[n00b]] found a tacky [[flash]] on eBaum's World, and said, "Hey! I saw something like this on [[Newgrounds]]!" So he made a shitty thread about it, and thus started the anti-Bauman phase. No one really talks about it much any more but once in a while some [[faggot|faggette]] will bring it up.
Hating eBaum is somewhat of a fad on the Newgrounds forums. If you even MENTION Bauman, you will get flamed, assraped, banned, tied down and beaten senseless with bansticks, and banned and assraped again. This fad started when a random [[n00b]] found a tacky [[flash]] on eBaum's World, and said, "Hey! I saw something like this on [[Newgrounds]]!" So he made a shitty thread about it, and thus started the anti-Bauman phase. No one really talks about it much any more but once in a while some [[faggot|faggette]] will bring it up.


==eBaum's World vs. SomaForum==
==eBaum's World vs. SomaForum==
SomaForum is a spin-off of eBaum's World created by a few butthurt users who hated the eBaum's mods. Some eBaum's users spammed SomaForum with shock images and porn, but after a while everyone realized that a shitty spin-off of a shitty site wasn't even close to being worth the trouble.
SomaForum is a spin-off of eBaum's World created by a few butthurt users who hated the eBaum's mods. Some eBaum's users spammed SomaForum with shock images and porn, but after a while everyone realized that a shitty spin-off of a shitty site wasn't even close to being worth the trouble.


==eBaum's World vs. [[Fredryk Phox]]==
==eBaum's World vs. [[Fredryk Phox]]==
Bauman saw short video clips of Fredryk Phox acting like a moron somewhere and hit him up for an eBaum's exclusive video. Fredryk, never having heard of eBaum's World before, agreed and branded a compilation of his random video clips and sent it to Bauman. Bauman then rewarded this kind gesture by continuing to put Fredryk Phox videos and other contents on his site. Fredryk retaliated by making a series of videos, beginning with [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yvXaCPRNLg ''The Eric Bauman Story''].
 
Bauman saw short video clips of Fredryk Phox acting like a moron somewhere and hit him up for an eBaum's exclusive video. Fredryk, never having heard of eBaum's World before, agreed and branded a compilation of his random video clips and sent it to Bauman. Bauman then rewarded this kind gesture by continuing to put Fredryk Phox videos and other contents on his site. Fredryk retaliated by making a series of videos, beginning with {{ytlink|6yvXaCPRNLg|''The Eric Bauman Story''}}.


==7chan vs. eBaum vs. 7chan again==
==7chan vs. eBaum vs. 7chan again==
On Saturday, January 13, 7chan, in retaliation for Bauman's theft of one of the pathetic motivational posters that get posted every day in about 6 different threads, raided eBaum's, using vampire scripts and wget raids to yank images off of the server repeatedly. In "retaliation", the next day eBaum's tried to flood 7chan's /34/, /b/, /i/, /a/, /ani/, /art/, /cat/, /fit/, /g/, and /fur/. Unfortunately for eBaum's, raiding a *chan is like [[Trolls Trolling Trolls|pissing in an ocean of piss]]. People looked, laughed, and then planned the next raid.
On Saturday, January 13, 7chan, in retaliation for Bauman's theft of one of the pathetic motivational posters that get posted every day in about 6 different threads, raided eBaum's, using vampire scripts and wget raids to yank images off of the server repeatedly. In "retaliation", the next day eBaum's tried to flood 7chan's /34/, /b/, /i/, /a/, /ani/, /art/, /cat/, /fit/, /g/, and /fur/. Unfortunately for eBaum's, raiding a *chan is like [[Trolls Trolling Trolls|pissing in an ocean of piss]]. People looked, laughed, and then planned the next raid.


==Stealing from Cracked.com==
==Stealing from Cracked.com==
[[Image:Waynes world.jpg|thumb|Wayne's World is awesome. eBum's World is not.]]
[[Image:Waynes world.jpg|thumb|Wayne's World is awesome. eBum's World is not.]]
On Wednesday September 25, 2007, [http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/39034/ an article] appeared on ebaumsworld.com named [[Suicide|''Internet Safety Tips'']], almost identical to Cracked.com's unfunny article of the [http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=1720 same name]. Is this actual theft, or did the original creator of the article's images [[whore|open his loins wide to eBaum's money dick?]] In the end, [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody gives a shit]].
 
On Wednesday September 25, 2007, [http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/39034/ an article] appeared on ebaumsworld.com named [[Suicide|''Internet Safety Tips'']], almost identical to Cracked.com's unfunny article of the [https://web.archive.org/web/20070316102218/http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=1720 same name]. Is this actual theft, or did the original creator of the article's images [[whore|open his loins wide to eBaum's money dick?]] In the end, [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody gives a shit]].


==eBaum's Host Company Shuts Down==
==eBaum's Host Company Shuts Down==
ZVUE, the owner of eBaum's World, is shutting down all of their offices [http://blog.ebaum.tv/2009/01/welcome.html]. The economy does its best work since Circuit City got liquidated.
{{wayback|http://blog.ebaum.tv/2009/01/welcome.html|20090201153020|title=ZVUE, the owner of eBaum's World, is shutting down all of their offices}}. The economy does its best work since Circuit City got liquidated.


==eBaum moves to ebaumnation.com, formerly known as [[It's a trap|ebaum.tv]]==
==eBaum moves to ebaumnation.com, formerly known as [[It's a trap|ebaum.tv]]==
After eBaum himself got the shit kicked out of him by the people who bought his horrible excuse for a company, he moved on to have his new website, ebaum.tv. He then decided he no longer liked that url so he changed it to ebaumnation.com
After eBaum himself got the shit kicked out of him by the people who bought his horrible excuse for a company, he moved on to have his new website, ebaum.tv. He then decided he no longer liked that url so he changed it to ebaumnation.com


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==eBaum's World and Whatup TV==
==eBaum's World and Whatup TV==
In December of 2010, a website called [http://www.whatup.tv Whatup TV] emerged with a meta troll-based business model of stealing content exclusively from Ebaumsworld.com to parody its practices. Upon being [http://forum.ebaumnation.com/showthread.php?56531-How-do-you-explain-yourself-out-of-this-one&highlight=whatup.tv discovered], Whatup TV responded by replacing all Ebaumsworld videos with [http://www.google.com/search?&q=fat+man+shoots+gun ebaumsworld.flv], but leaving the thumbnails intact. This additional trolling fell on deaf ears, however, as the content of "Fat Man Shoots Gun" is spiritually, allegorically and literally equivalent to the content of all Ebaumsworld videos anyway, and Ebaumsworld users couldn't tell that anything had been replaced.


==See also==
In December of 2010, a website called {{wayback|http://www.whatup.tv/|20101205105600|title=Whatup TV}} emerged with a meta troll-based business model of stealing content exclusively from Ebaumsworld.com to parody its practices. Upon being [http://forum.ebaumnation.com/showthread.php?56531-How-do-you-explain-yourself-out-of-this-one&highlight=whatup.tv discovered], Whatup TV responded by replacing all Ebaumsworld videos with [https://www.google.com/search?q=fat+man+shoots+gun ebaumsworld.flv], but leaving the thumbnails intact. This additional trolling fell on deaf ears, however, as the content of "Fat Man Shoots Gun" is spiritually, allegorically and literally equivalent to the content of all Ebaumsworld videos anyway, and Ebaumsworld users couldn't tell that anything had been replaced.
 
== See also ==
 
*[[Anonymous]]
*[[Anonymous]]
*[[Copyright]]
*[[EBWFGame1]]
*[[Race Guy]]
*[[Todd Goldman]]
*[[Todd Goldman]]
*[[Copyright]]
*[[Watermark]]
*[[Watermark]]
*[[EBWFGame1]]


==External links==
== External links ==
 
*[http://ebaumsworld.com/ eBaum's World] - Hope you like pop-ups.
*[http://ebaumsworld.com/ eBaum's World] - Hope you like pop-ups.
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/276616 eBaum's World Theme Song] - Credit goes to [[goons]] Altf4 and Trapezoid.
*[https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/276616 eBaum's World Theme Song] - Credit goes to [[goons]] Altf4 and Trapezoid.
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com Albino Black Sheep] - Like eBaum's World, <s>but doesn't suck</s> or steal content.
*[https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/ Albino Black Sheep] - Like eBaum's World, <s>but doesn't suck</s> or steal content.
*[http://baumanletters.ytmnd.com/ Dramatic reading] - Dramatic reading of Neil Baumans emails to [[Ytmnd]] in the great [[Lindsay Lohan]] war of 2006.  
*[http://baumanletters.ytmnsfw.com/ Dramatic reading] - Dramatic reading of Neil Baumans emails to [[Ytmnd]] in the great [[Lindsay Lohan]] war of 2006.  


{{Leaders of Anonymous}}


{{Leaders of Anonymous|title=eBaumsworld.com}}
{{Sites|title=eBaumsworld.com}}
{{Timeline|Featured article November 8, [[2005]]|[[Internet disease]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Alien]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article November 8, [[2005]]|[[Internet disease]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Alien]]}}


[[Category:Sites]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:In Jokes]]
[[Category:In Jokes]]

Latest revision as of 01:17, 13 December 2023

ebaumsworld.com got sold for 17.5 million! Ripping off SA is a great way to make a fortune!


this image saved using 32 colors, as eBaum intended.


Some argue that eBaum is the true identity of the shadowy Lulzkiller.
File:Ebaurony.jpg
Ebaums, when running absolute shit ads are way moar important than running stable scripts.

Suicide. Terrorism. Death threats. Genocide. Harassment. Larceny. Nigras. Welcome to EBAUMSWORLD.COM otherwise known as the Oregon Tea Party.

All-pervasive and insidious, at the bleakest, semen-stained heart of the internet lies eBaum's World, the Agent Smith of the Matrix which stamps the watermark of the beast upon everything pure and ruins lives, one life-shattering raid at a time. Cyber-insurgents swearing fealty to their fell chieftain Eric Bauman, in collusion with the Jews and the Republic of Chinkdom, have covered the whole of the internets with bots, hackers, virtual pigs, and children-seeking robotic centipedes that hunt down your pictures and dox to distribute to recently paroled serial rapists and militant jihadists.

That gay porn your girlfriend imaginary GF found on your Facebook? That cracker wearing a cheap Afro wig who announced that VOLDEMORT KILLS SNAPE in the bookstore, which caused your tween daughter to drown herself in her bubble bath? Those dirty Negroes that annually interrupt your pathetic attempts to get your hands on sum JB in Habbo? All from eBaum's World, under the command of Mr. Bauman himself, who takes breaks from having buttsecks with 13-year-old boys on his ebony throne in the heart of Cambodia to troll American high-schools so he can drink the sweet and salty menstrual blood of blonde, blue-eyed teenage girls.

Even as you read this, eBaum's World is planning the destruction of over 9,000 different targets worldwide with their ability to explode vans of all kinds with cyber-telekinesis. Some argue that they have the ability to access any page on the tubes at any time, with a single keystroke. They routinely masturbate to naked pictures of your children that they took using your own digital camera. Noone is safe.

Given that "Baum" is the German word for "tree", the website name can be translated into "world of electric trees".

On a lighter note, all raids performed by any sect of Anonymous is automatically the work of eBaum's World. No exceptions.

Crimes against the Internets

Proof

eBaum's World spies are everywhere, even our precious ED fatherland. Terrible edits and articles full of disinformation and propaganda are made every day, placing the blame upon anonymous for their terror campaign.

Aside from their relentless war on everything, eBaum's World is the miserable black market of the internet; everything there is stolen, and some fat smelly guy is trying to make money with it before he gets caught. In this case, the toothless scalper is an evil conspiring Jew going by the name "eBaum", which is the internet spelling of "Eric Bauman". In numerous cases he has been caught doing such things as cropping watermarks out of image macros, decompiling flash movies, and recompressing shitty mpg files all in order to rebrand them with his own tag, which is slowly poisoning the rest of the internet.

No matter what you do, nothing will convince eBaum to remove your work from his shitty website. Occasionally old media giants will find some of their copyrighted material on his servers and issue a DMCA takedown notice, which eBaum then shreds, rolls up in a hundred dollar bill, and smokes while laughing hysterically. His millions in ad revenue have made him virtually untouchable in the virtual world and nothing short of IRL death will make any difference.

eBaum vs. Something Awful

As previously noted, everything "hosted" on eBaum's World was created elsewhere, usually humor sites like Fark, Something Awful, 4chan, Albino Black Sheep, Newgrounds, YTMND, or even LiveJournal. It has been theorized that eBaum has even stolen old content from himself, which of course was previously stolen. Upon noticing a recent update featuring a years-old comedy goldmine, goons organized a massive forum invasion and brought parts of eBaum's World to its knees by repeatedly spamming catchphrases and complaining about eBaum's lack of a conscience. In retaliation, eBaum inserted a snippet of code into every page on his site that requested files from Something Awful's servers. This brought the forums down for five minutes until Radium, the admin who sleeps with SA's servers, returned and changed some file and ended the sloppy denial of service attack that eBaum had begun.

Goons Altf4 and Trapezoid decided that, as 80's children's cartoons had taught them, they could help change their shitty little slice of the internet world through the power of song. What they came up with sounds like a cross between hair metal and a hobo breaking into a piano convention, and the accompanying flash animation is more like an MS Paint slideshow. Angry goons and other eBaum's enemies, however, ate the entire thing up.



After a while, eBaum decided he would no longer tolerate the existence of ebaumsworldsucks.com and threatened the owners, saying "I'm going to own this domain in 72 hours either way bro," (sic). The SA goons promptly laughed. eBaum then got in contact with AltF4, the creator of the flash, pleading with him to take it down. The SA goons, after they finished jerking each other off, then started a LiveJournal community, ebaumsucks, which is currently trying to make a list of everything that eBaum has stolen. The chatlog can be read ebombchat.txt here.

The site now lies in purgatory, as everyone realized that protesting eBaum's thievery is like holding a rally against bad traffic: everybody hates it, but it's too prevalent to destroy.

eBaum vs YTMND

In January of 2006, the powers that be at eBaum's World lifted an image from a user at YTMND. In the late hours of Saturday, January 7th, irate YTMND users launched an attack against the eBaum's World forums. Something Awful, Fark, 4chan, LUELinks, Gaia Online, VG Cats, Gen[M]ay, and even Wikipedia was used to get the message out: "War was beginning!"

eBaum's World barred its doors to new forum users, and the n00bs began to use .bat files with ping commands to DoS eBaum's World in an attempt to bring it down. This attack barely dented the bandwidth usage at eBaum's World - a site that encourages hotlinking to their stolen image macros as its main form of advertising.

The YTMND webmaster, Jew, posted an announcement on the main page strictly forbidding sites about DDoS. This seriously impaired the internets Jihad against eBaum's World, as their main source of getting the message across was blocked. This didn't stop enraged YTMND fans from fighting back, though, as they crafted a cunning script that constantly downloads and refreshes the stolen Lindsay Lohan image from eBaum's server.

After Bauman sent two "cease and desist" emails, containing poor grammar and even a "LOL", max finally had enough. He posted a hilarious and witty email that totally pwned eBaum's World in general. Also, the original YTMND user that created the original Lohan image started sending cease and desist letters to eBaum's World. It was enough, and eBaum's World finally admitted defeat by removing the Lohan image. Since max keeps his word he's keeping his part of the deal and he's going to delete every site that has "eBaum" in the title at midnight. But not that he'd delete every eBaum site, just the ones with "eBaum" in the title. THIS IS TRUE LUNACY!

That second week of January, 2006 will long be remembered as the day that the most limp-wristed forum war in history was fought and won, by YTMND's cracked-out users. It will also be remembered as a day when eBaum's World finally was humiliated for being a website full of hacks.

eBaum's World vs. Newgrounds

Hating eBaum is somewhat of a fad on the Newgrounds forums. If you even MENTION Bauman, you will get flamed, assraped, banned, tied down and beaten senseless with bansticks, and banned and assraped again. This fad started when a random n00b found a tacky flash on eBaum's World, and said, "Hey! I saw something like this on Newgrounds!" So he made a shitty thread about it, and thus started the anti-Bauman phase. No one really talks about it much any more but once in a while some faggette will bring it up.

eBaum's World vs. SomaForum

SomaForum is a spin-off of eBaum's World created by a few butthurt users who hated the eBaum's mods. Some eBaum's users spammed SomaForum with shock images and porn, but after a while everyone realized that a shitty spin-off of a shitty site wasn't even close to being worth the trouble.

eBaum's World vs. Fredryk Phox

Bauman saw short video clips of Fredryk Phox acting like a moron somewhere and hit him up for an eBaum's exclusive video. Fredryk, never having heard of eBaum's World before, agreed and branded a compilation of his random video clips and sent it to Bauman. Bauman then rewarded this kind gesture by continuing to put Fredryk Phox videos and other contents on his site. Fredryk retaliated by making a series of videos, beginning with The Eric Bauman Story.

7chan vs. eBaum vs. 7chan again

On Saturday, January 13, 7chan, in retaliation for Bauman's theft of one of the pathetic motivational posters that get posted every day in about 6 different threads, raided eBaum's, using vampire scripts and wget raids to yank images off of the server repeatedly. In "retaliation", the next day eBaum's tried to flood 7chan's /34/, /b/, /i/, /a/, /ani/, /art/, /cat/, /fit/, /g/, and /fur/. Unfortunately for eBaum's, raiding a *chan is like pissing in an ocean of piss. People looked, laughed, and then planned the next raid.

Stealing from Cracked.com

Wayne's World is awesome. eBum's World is not.

On Wednesday September 25, 2007, an article appeared on ebaumsworld.com named Internet Safety Tips, almost identical to Cracked.com's unfunny article of the same name. Is this actual theft, or did the original creator of the article's images open his loins wide to eBaum's money dick? In the end, nobody gives a shit.

eBaum's Host Company Shuts Down

ZVUE, the owner of eBaum's World, is shutting down all of their offices. The economy does its best work since Circuit City got liquidated.

eBaum moves to ebaumnation.com, formerly known as ebaum.tv

After eBaum himself got the shit kicked out of him by the people who bought his horrible excuse for a company, he moved on to have his new website, ebaum.tv. He then decided he no longer liked that url so he changed it to ebaumnation.com

Don't even bother going there, as the quality of the content still manages to maintain its reputation for complete shittiness.

eBaum's World and Whatup TV

In December of 2010, a website called Whatup TV emerged with a meta troll-based business model of stealing content exclusively from Ebaumsworld.com to parody its practices. Upon being discovered, Whatup TV responded by replacing all Ebaumsworld videos with ebaumsworld.flv, but leaving the thumbnails intact. This additional trolling fell on deaf ears, however, as the content of "Fat Man Shoots Gun" is spiritually, allegorically and literally equivalent to the content of all Ebaumsworld videos anyway, and Ebaumsworld users couldn't tell that anything had been replaced.

See also

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