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User:Zizumias

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YOU! HAVE ENTERED MY REALM! READ MY LIFE STORY OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES YOU DESERVE!
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How I woo the ladies into FUCKING!
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Me with my frumpy friends, Kassheesh(Middle back) and Cumstain(Right).

Zizumias is my name, and da lulz is my game.

Introduction

Hello, I am Zizumias, son of the dark Lord Græpenopoli and common hoe Francees.

I had an average birth, my mother layed on a stone platform while my father punched my mother's pregnant belly. I shot out like a rocket, clinging to a twin. We were caught by my Uncle Segas, whom put us down on a small carpet and demanded us to fight.

Still attached to our Umbilical cords, my brother and I began to fight for dominance. My brother was not as mentally superior as I, so he was unable to walk. I used my walking abilities to my advantage and I took his Umbilical cord, wrapped it around his throat, and began to squeeze. The bastard was reluctant, and got free. Yet he did not get far. I picked up a stone and hurled it at my brother. The stone struck his head, knocking him out, and leaving a dent in his soft skull. It was then I took my mother's bloody uterus and shoved it down my brother's throat. Unable to wake, he suffocated to death.

I stood there, with my hands up showing peace signs.

My Early Life

I had a fairly average childhood. My childhood was full of shits and giggles, as well as poontang and lulz.

I lived in the Magical Land of Satangrad, a land of melodic laughs and rainbow smiles.

At the age of 2, my father bought me my first slave as a gift. I named him Morris. Morris was a black Neo-Nazi whom was offended by his own race. He volunteered to become a slave, and "Join his ancestors to serve the all mighty white man". Morris was a nice fellow, although he showed much abuse to himself. Fearing his own color, he would often strip away pieces of skin, hoping there was some white meat underneath. Morris would often tell me stories of the white man, and how they's beat his mama till she bleeding like a pig, and how the white man bashed in his father's skull when he refused to pick cotton. Morris always said his father deserved it. Morris was very interested in "fun activities". We used to play "arm-crusher"(a game where I'd demand him to do something, he'd refuse, and I'd come up with an elaborate way to break his arms), "Dirty-negro" (a game where I'd roll around in the mud, and he'd wash the blackness away) and his favorite game "Whip the blackie" (where I'd whip him for hours on end). The last time I saw Morris, was in my bedroom. I stumbled upon a pool of blood leaking from under my door. I opened to door to see Morris, completely skinned. He had no face, nor any skin, and that was left clinging to his body was muscles. In his right hand was a bloody razor, in his left, a note. The note read:

   
 
Dear Zizumias,

Hey, dis is da final lettur I wrote to yous, mah bestes friend. Oh da times we has togethuh, da games we plays. I'd loves to thanks yus for all de times we spends togethuhs. Yestuday, I axed mah Klan leaduh, what shallz I doos to be white like yous? And hes told me da darnest thing, he told me to skin myself. I tells him, I'd be dead before I can do all dat. So he told me he'd personally helpz me with dat problem. No worries little crackuh, I may be dead, but I am finally white, like yous.

-Morris
 


 
 


All Morris accomplished by skinning himself was becoming an Injun

The next day, I bought myself another slave.

I've had few friends while growing up. Being a Sociopathic Psychopath, rare amount of human beings accepted my company in their lives. Yet, I did manage to befriend 2 friends, whom where Kassheesh and Cumstain. We had many adventures together.

On January 3525435t2346523654, 2930, I was masturbating vigorously to the vagina of an Ostrich, Kassheesh was watching while grunting and stroking the Ostrich's beak. Cumstain, another acquaintance of mine, had come in with a bag of tampons and cigarettes while wearing a bra and flip flops. Cumstain, and his iron cock, was fully erect and ready to penetrate the Ostrich. I being, a fellow who has a habit of claiming things, rejected Cumstain, and tried to shoo him away. Cumstain, a stubborn anus, fought back, and slit a hole in the Ostrich's spleen, and began to thrust inside with his erect penis. Kassheesh, still stroking the Ostrich's beak, was repeatedly pecked in the penis by the Ostrich who was in pain. Kassheesh has now lost his penis 3 times, and this time, he began to bleed out. Cumstain, a caring individual, quickly ran to Kassheesh, and shoved his dick where Kassheesh penis used to be. The bleeding had stopped and Kassheesh was revived. At this time, I climaxed and a Viagra pill shot from my penis at light speed. The pill struck Kassheesh in the nipple, which blew out his organs. Kassheesh lied dead on the floor. I proceeded to Kassheesh's lifeless body, and began to have sex with it. Twisting Kassheesh's remaining nipple, I began to pee inside Kassheesh's lifeless body. Kassheesh turned into a Termite which proceeded to run in circles for about 15 hours, until Kassheesh returned to his normal human state.

Education

I had a very standard education as a child. I went to Adolf Elementary School for the Aryan race. In early grade school, my teacher would often preform the sacred ritual passed down from the Nazi masters of the "Glory Period" on the new students. This ritual would start by plucking the anal hairs from a disease-ridden monkey anus, then placing the hairs in each of the new student's mouth. The hair was required to stay inside the mouth for up to a week, this is when a magical chemical process would occur when the disease from the ass-hair would be passed into the child's body, infecting them. If the child became sick from the hair, they were accepted, if the child did not become sick, they were deemed a Nigger,(for only Niggers were immune to their own brother's sicknesses), and burned alive on a cross, bearing the Swastika.

More Cumming Soon

Articles I've written/created so far

My Imagination at work

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