Mescaline

Peyote will make you shit bricks, when you imagine you're a deer chargin it's lazer

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Mescaline is a natural hallucinogen found in several species of cacti, most famously peyote, that will cause you to see reality for what it truly is, more so than LSD or Psilocybin, and also make you puke out everything you ate for the past week if not digested correctly. Historically, it has been used by Injuns to communicate with the various Earth, Wolf, Alcohol, and Welfare spirits that guide their people. Peyote has gone in and out of mainstream popularity since the late 1800s and has found cross-cultural usage in white populations among western outlaws, hippies, and your parents in the 70s. Mescaline is also found (in slightly lower concentrations) in the San Pedro and Peruvian Torch cacti, though peyote has 5-6 other active substances in it that makes it a fairly unique experience. Synthetic mescaline is also floating around the drug market, though it is one of the most misrepresented drugs of all time so whatever the guy in the bathroom at the Lettuce concert is trying to push as mescaline is probably just 2c-b.

Legality

Peyote/mescaline in any form is now legal for all persons 21 years and older in Colorado and in Oakland, CA

Mescaline is considered a Schedule I controlled substance by the US Government, meaning it has no officially recognized medical uses, which is total bullshit because peyote is really a spiritual medicine. After doing some crying about the scheduling of peyote, Native Americans received an exemption, allowing them to continue using the sacred cactus to channel their ancestors as well as get too fucked up to remember that they're living on a rez. Since the passing of the American Indian Religious Freedom Act, several states (for the most part just the batshit insane southwestern ones) have legalized the usage of peyote for anyone with "sincere religious intent" — this should be read as everyone since there is no way to avoid staring directly into the fact of God while under the influence of peyote. All in all though, it's not like the legality really matters since peyote is pretty far off the radar anyway.

Where peyote is legal for white people

Peyote is however legal in pretty much everywhere else other than the USA, which means it can be easily acquired in headshops in Europe and Japan. The irony of the situation is that, if there were one definitively American drug, it would have to be peyote.

San Pedro and Peruvian Torch

There are no US laws specifically addressing the mescaline containing San Pedro and Peruvian Torch cacti, so they're considered legal and can be bought and sold anywhere. The gardening section of your local Lowes or Home Depot might even be a good place to start.

Where do I get this stuff?

Peyote can be harvested in the wild in southwestern Texas as well as in some small, isolated parts of New Mexico and Arizona. It is extremely easy to head down to somewhere in southwest Texas, especially say McAllen or Laredo, for a weekend, drive out to Rio Grande City or one of the adjacent rural areas, and find a literal shit-ton of peyote just growing there on the side of the road (PROTIP: somehow like 95% of the local Mexicans and rednecks have no idea that this stuff is just sitting there). If you're ballsy enough to dodge border security, peyote can be found much more abundantly in Mexico (another PROTIP: drug dogs are not trained to smell peyote, and almost all CBP personnel will have no idea what it even looks like). A lot of shitheads will try to condemn you for harvesting wild peyote since its conservation status is considered "vulnerable", but just remember that they're all stupid and wrong since harvesting has never hurt peyote populations in the wild nearly as much as land demolishing for ranching/industry has. Just make sure to only cut the top of the button off (as pictured) so a new one will be back in a few months when you're ready for round two. ~~If you happen to harvest enough in the wild (25+ lb), you could probably turn a pretty decent profit~~ selling peyote for commercial purposes is bad medicine no matter what, as in your family will end up getting buttraped by Ronald Reagan's ghost or something; just don't even think about it (trading/bartering peyote is totally ok though).

Peyote is rarely sold on the streets, however it is possible to get a hold of it if you hit up enough Mexicans or Injuns in certain cities like Santa Fe, Pheonix, or Denver without getting your ass kicked first.

The most reliable way however is to just grow your own. While peyote can take anywhere from 5-10 years to reach flowering maturity in the wild (aka about the age its ready to be used), home grow conditions can result in a flowering button in around two years from seed. You can also always just buy the plants online to add to your collection (there's a pretty open market for peyote on ebay under the "lophophora" and "ariocarpus lw" tags), though the plants being sold online are almost always extremely overpriced (good deals do pop up every now and then though). Check out this site for growing tips.

San Pedro and Peruvian Torch can be easily and legally purchased online through ebay, Amazon, etc. It's not terribly uncommon for gardening shops to carry these as well. Home Depot in particular tends to stock some particularly potent San Pedros every spring/summer — would definitely recommend.

Potency of Non-Peyote Mescaline-Containing Cacti by Continent

The original author of this article has found that the most potent non-peyote cacti (ie, those San Pedros and such mentioned above) will always come from South America, with the exception of the Home Depot cacti (also mentioned above). For the most part, anyone trying to sell you cacti from North America (also probably Europe and all of those fag countries, but who cares) that is not peyote or from the Home Depot is 100% giving you an inferior product. It does not matter for a fucking second if they're some loser hippie that has been growing this shit in Durango or Norcal or whatever for decades — it is absolutely going to suck if it is not peyote, and also not from either Home Depot or South America (and I really cannot stress enough the quality of the Home Depot cactus). There are a ton of websites where you can easily (and legally) order the shit straight from SA, and also better yet, if you have the patience, you can spend some time scoping out some of the cactushead communities on Reddit and Facebook and whatnot, find some Peruvians, Bolivians, etc, and, so long as you can ensure that they are definitely not going to fuck you over (PROTIP: a lot of these people are actually legit since repeat business from even one customer in the US can feed their family for up to four months a year — just make sure to look for the chubby women who type in broken English), it'll end up being way cheaper. Oh but also make sure that they don't fuck up with the shipping, seeing as incompetence tends to be the biggest adversary of third worlders.

Mescaline extraction

All methods listed here will work for both peyote and San Pedro, etc. Remember that regardless of method, sanitization is always vital, and the more sterile your hands, scientific instruments, etc are, the better your final product will always be.

Organic

The best way to preform an organic mescaline extraction is to slowly boil the raw cacti (you'll want 1 liter of water per every 100g of raw cacti) on low for about 24 hours; this is a very easy method too since you're just leaving it on a low boil.

However, it is possible to speed up the extraction using straining techniques: boil the cacti on medium low, and, every 30-60 minutes, strain the liquid from the cacti into a separate container and allow that to boil on low alongside the cacti. You'll want to cover the cacti with a liter of water after each pull, and do a total of about 5-7 pulls before discarding the cacti and allowing the strained liquid to boil off a bit more. Also add about a tablespoon of white vinegar (or lemon juice, but vinegar works best) to each pull as it will assist in converting the freebase alkaloids into acetates (or citrates if lemon juice is used) — do not add vinegar however if you are planning on using the cactus juice for an hcl extraction (as detailed below).

As a general rule of thumb, you'll want about 500ml of cactus juice for every 100-150g of dried cacti.

How to make Mescaline HCl from dried cacti

For every 100-150g of cacti, you will need:

Lye
Citric acid
Toluene or Xylene
Hydrogen chloride
Anhydrous acetone
A lot of water (distilled is best)

Preform an organic extraction as detailed above (again, sans vinegar), but throw in 30g of citric acid as it boils. Combine 50g of lye with 100ml of water and mix that in with the cactus juice. Mix that and let it sit for a bit before combining 1 liter of toluene/xylene with the cactus shit in a larger, glass container (ideally a big jug). Seriously note that you should not be using a plastic container, plastic instruments, or anything plastic at this point; the toluene/xylene will melt right through that shit and will not only contaminate your product, but could also leave some fairly unexplainable chemical stains. Let that sit for about 24 hours and shake it up occasionally. There should be two distinct layers at this point: a clear top layer and a dark, thick bottom layer. Separate the two layers (a separatory funnel will work best, but you can still slowly do it with pipettes) and throw away the thick bottom one. Remember that you're working with dangerous chemicals here so you probably wont want to pour them down your kitchen sink — try to find a local park or reservoir to dump your shit, and don't worry about any potential social implications of doing so as the hippies who end up buying your drugs will always find a way to blame Republicans for the environmental impact. Add 100ml of water and .5ml (about a single drop) of HCl. HCl (hydrochloric acid) can most easily be obtained as "muriatic acid" and is very commonly sold in hardware stores as a pool cleaner, just make sure it is above 30% hcl (HDX muriatic acid can be readily acquired at Home Depot and is a great choice, also make a note to totally avoid the Klean-Strip brand shit as it is only 20%). The ph should test acidic, and if it doesn't add a bit more HCl. Separate the top toluene layer from the bottom water/HCl/mescaline layer and disregard that as well. Use a hot water bath to slowly boil the remaining water off and you should be left with mescaline crystals. Clean with anhydrous acetone and allow it to dry. If you didn't blow anything up (very unlikely) or poison yourself (a little more likely but easily avoidable) in the process, you should now have some mescaline hydrochloride (aka C11H18ClNO3).

Also note that it's quite possible to get high and trip off of the fumes during this process. If it occurs, you should take it as a sign that your clandestine laboratory setup could probably benefit from being a little less ghetto.

How to make Mescaline Acetate from dried cacti

Here's another method for turning raw cacti into (mostly) pure mescaline powder that is comprised of entirely organic materials and is less likely to emit any kind of smell that might indicate the presence of a drug lab.

You will need:

Hydrated lime
D-limonene (orange oil)
White vinegar (at least 5% acidity)
Water

Take 100g of dried cacti powder and mix with 25g hydrated lime (aka "pickling lime", can usually be found in the canning section of your local supermarket/hardware store). Apply a small amount of water until the mixture has a dough-like consistency. Let that sit for a while before applying 300ml of d-limonene. D-limonene can be purchased in bulk on Amazon, but the easiest way (in the US that is, if you happen to be in Latin America or Asia you can just straight up buy large amounts of lab-grade d-limonene at various hardware/industrial supply stores with cash no questions asked) is to just drain it from "Pure Citrus Air Freshener", which comes in 200ml bottles and can be purchased at Walmart for around $3.50/bottle. Mix this solution well and allow it to sit for at least three days, stirring occasionally. Use a separatory funnel to separate the d-limonene, which will be floating at the top, from any additional leftover materials. Add 25ml vinegar to the d-limonene and let that sit another day, once more stirring occasionally. Finally, separate the vinegar (bottom) from the d-limonene (top) and leave the vinegar in a food dehydrator for a while until you get a brown-colored mescaline acetate powder. Add the d-limonene back to the cactus with another 25mg hydrated lime and do another two pulls to ensure all of the mescaline is pulled from the cactus. You can further refine the final product by washing it with cold MEK, but for the most part it's really not necessary.

The Experience

1-2 hours to take effect, have fun waiting
Time breaks and plays games with your head
Reality and colors are warped, generally judging by your subconscious associations with various scenes, locations, objects, etc
Mind becomes increasingly lucid, existence streams through your consciousness like wind and you feel as though you are flying in and around your every thought

Common Side Effects

Insomnia
Pupil dilation
Elevated heart rate
Meeting your spirit animal
Living in Boulder
Voting for the Libertarian Party
Getting your ass kicked by the Arizona State Highway Patrol
Enjoying NASCAR
Advocating for Native American rights

Case study

During the 1950s in Britain, mescaline was still legal. The BBC decided it would be a serious and worthwhile experiment to administer a massive fucking dose of the good shit to one of their old-school plummy-voiced TV newsreel presenters, Christopher Mayhew (later elevated to the House of Lords). The producers made him sit in a comfy horse-hair-stuffed armchair in someone's front parlour while being interrogated by a psychologist for several hours. The entire experience was filmed, so that viewers at home could learn for themselves what it was like to trip absolutely intergalactic balls. The increasingly interesting results speak for themselves, and were never broadcast. Please note that the mescaline was so strong that it affected the TV camera too and so some viewers may start to perceive colour in this black and white footage.

This is not a drill: the BBC's mescaline experiment, (405-line telecine recording)

People cooler than you who did Mescaline

Andy Worhol
Pablo Picasso
Hunter S. Thompson
Jim Morrison
Hitler
William Burroughs
Meepsheep
weev
Walt Disney

Featured article October 15 & 16, 2016
Preceded by Gersh Kuntzman	Mescaline	Succeeded by Killer Clown Epidemic

Mescaline

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