User:Iatenine/League of Legends

League of Legends is what you get when World of Warcraft would get drunk and got hooked up with a whiny, furry skank like DotA. To top that, the game is freeware and it got a hint of incest from being mostly developed by Guinsoo who has played DotA for long enough to associate with a mod for 2001's game. It's easy to guess from just this, that League of Legends is a very original and user-friendly team-based RTS game. What you might not know, is that each round lasts 50 minutes on average and delivers either sadistic fun, or huge regret.

History and drama

The game was announced in mid-2009 and finished shortly afterwards. It has immediately put the DotA scene off its feet and began to drown it in rage and flame wars. Many original DotA players have decided to stay with original DotA for Warcraft 3. Like in most partitions of communities between new and old members, both sides began to hate each other. Alike to imageboard dramas, DotAfags were called greasy fat oldfags and LoLfags were called retarded newfag hipsters who got into the game from their schoolyard last thursday.

In spring 2011, Riot Inc. has managed to generate drama more times than ever in history of League of Legends.

April Linux 2011 genocide

League of Legends was originally playable on Linux and other broken systems via Wine, but you still needed a Unix beard to get it working. Riot Games Inc. in its great wisdom has decided to distort this balance by updating the launcher application with brand new batshit insane .NET code that re-arranged loading screens and Wine wouldn't ever correctly process that. This has enraged the few neckbeards playing this game and made them seek refuge in a knock-off LoL client, ACE. It always lagged behind because it had to update shortly after LoL and Wine had a new release every 2 weeks in those days. This and the need for compilation frustrated users enough to make them go back to Windows.

Server split 2011

Because the game is free to play, it attracted motherlodes of attention from kids from all around the world: former Soviet republics, South America, former communist regimes, federal states of America and Europe and many more.

Most of them were located in Europe, so with their questionable Internet connection quality, they have managed to DDoS the EU server of League of Legends pretty much every day of the week. Riot Games Inc. could not afford a stronger server to support their romanian champions, so they bought another server in Europe and split existing EU users between the two according to their location with only one chance of going to another EU server.

Flame wars

They happen all the time. Mostly in-game and they're fought over things like which champion is a better one, who is gearing their champion against its purpose, who sucks most and who is not doing what they are supposed to do. On rare instances you will encounter people whining about one champion being overpowered compared to others. Most of the times those were newly introduced champions and furfag ones.

After a round ends, you have the opportunity to chat with everyone and review your score. Flame wars happen here as well. Most of the times they are conclusions to ones that occured before.

Market

Linux, in true communist fashion, never got this part of LoL working. Here you can purchase assorted shit for points you earn for in-game performance or for Riot points that you can only buy for real money. Skins can be only bought for Riot points, so have fun trying to show off, like you do in TF2. You can also buy runes and select abilities like 1% less time spent respawning, +0.02 HP or +0.87% attack speed.

How shit works

Your character will probably do low damage, which will teach you to run away from every fight, and thus make you lose all the time. All perfectly schemed up for Guinsoo to make money off training sessions provided by his fuckbuddies.

Originality

A lot of characters are based off other characters, same goes for skins of those characters. Cultural references include:

• Super Mario Bros.
• Quake 4
• Mortal Kombat
• Giant enemy crabs
• Naruto
• Pokemon
• Starcraft
• World of Warcraft
• The Lost Vikings
• Ancient Egypt
• Joker (from Batman)
• Assassin's Creed
• X-Men

Notable Characters

There are about about 100 and above characters in the game, most of whom are completely unplayable. Regardless of who you choose, some guy on the other team is bound to beat the living shit out of you, and then troll you for being bad. If you are the person trolling, chances are you have no life.

Amumu: A mummy who was an emo teen before he died. He likes to grab people with his bandages, and is in love with the game's loli. He cant masturbate to her unfortunately, as his dick would fall off. To play as him, make him cry like the emo fag he is so the other players will stay away from you.

Annie: A loli pyro who likes to throw her teddy bear at people. The teddy bear then fucks you up sideways leaving your anus leaking blood while she laughs and asks if you have seen her bear even if he IS RIGHT FUCKING IN FRONT OF HER. To play as her means your team has won.

Ashe: Dat Ashe. She's a cold bitch. She will throw an arrow that has the longest lasting stun effect in the whole game, which means that you're gonna get raped by whoever finds you. Once ganged on, not even her high damage will save her, because it'll be best for her to run for her life, which doesn't save her at all. She's easy to kill due to low HP, which means her team is going to lose if she's played by anyone who can't sit still.

Evelynn: The game's designated whore. An assasin type character, she dies if you hit her. For maximum trolling, have the other team make fun of you for picking her, then kill their team mates. To play has her, you have to turn invisible, then be a total pussy while everyone on your team dies, and then manage to kill only one of the remaining enemies while their health is low.

Ezreal: A total fag who does nothing but read yaoi all day and explore caves. Whenever you stand in the bushes with another male character, the two will start fucking uncontrollably. To play as him, one has to use his ult in a random direction, and hope it hits someone.

Garen: The most used character in the game, he learned his fighting tactics by playing Zelda in his basement while his brother went out and got the other female characters pregnant. The only word he really knows how to say is 'DEMACIA', which may or may not be what he says when he is having an orgasm. To play as Garen, you have to level up your spin attack and win the game.

Karma: Nobody uses this negro. Ever.

Kog' Maw: A large shrimp with a vagina for a mouth. He likes to shoot his AIDS at people through his mouth. To play as him, one has to get himself killed, follow the enemy, and then explode upon dieing, causing great lulz.

LeBlanc: A bitch who likes to bind her opponents with chains. Her 'Mirror Image' ability serves little purpose other than selfcest and masturbational properties. Like all the other female characters in the game, she is a whore. To play as her, use her fireball, use her copypasta ultimate, and if your enemy is still alive, use your teleport and run like hell.

Lux: An original female character of the game, who is really Garen's little sister. Lux likes rainbows. Having two luxes fight each other and cause a Double Rainbow will cause the game to crash, and will give your computer AIDS. To play as her, one has to fire her lazor and win the game.

Malzahar: A terrorist from the Shurima desert, who predicts everyone will succumb to his cult. He is able to ummon these....bug things? if you spam enough. He is also a rare furfag who likes to do it with the shrimp and centipede monsters.

Sona and Janna: Healer and support characters who serve little more purpose than to be put in hentai and fapped to by basement dwellers. To play as these two, hope the enemy does not kill you, then use a healing skill and type 'I came' in the chat box for lulz.

Soraka: An over rated healer character, who's main attack pattern is throwing bananas at people. Regardless of how useless she is, everyone, even your mom, uses her because she is cute, even though she is a horse girl with blue skin and has horn on her head. To play as her, have someone on the other team make fun of you for using her, then get killed because all she can do is heal.

Taric: very not gay.

Vladimir: The champ who issued the most QQ and raging from LoL players and Riot employees alike, this faggot vampire made the butthurt noobs cry so hard he got nerfed TWELVE FUCKING TIMES. To play Vlad you have to put on some Eduard Khil, make the entire enemy team rage at you, then trollpool out to safety after using your ultimate to infect them with a virulent blood-related illness which makes their defences weaker so your own team can penetrate them easier.

Warwick: One of the game's many furries. A werewolf who also happens to be the most broken character in the game. After killing millions of people with chemical warfare, Soraka decided to turn him into a werewolf so he would get nothing but furry porn drawn of him by horny furfags. To play as him, one must chase an enemy until they start acting like a pussy and hiding behind a turret.

Community

If you wanna be part of the LoL community just comment on every DotA / HoN video on youtube (any ripoff basicly) HAHA DIS GAME IS SO GHEY LoL FTW and then you are officially one of community. Also not knowing how to write motherfucker and such will help you out alot so the other kids know what you are talking about

Trolling LoL players

Even trolling in LoL requires one to have no life

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