Steven Universe/Episode Guide

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Season 1A	Season 1B	Season 2	Season 3	Season 4	Season 5	Unaired Episodes	Shorts
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Season 1

1. FLCL II

Oreos get discontinued making Steven butthurt but the Gems bought a bunch. Now for some reason eating them makes Steven's gem activate except for when he needs it to.

2. Laser Light Boner

The space gems send O₂ towards Beach City and the only thing that can work against it is Rose Quartz's Pink Diamond's "Laser Light Cannon" which was entrusted to Steven's dad.

3. Look at my Jacked up face.

Steven goes on his first mission with the gems only to fuck it up.

4. Orgy Breakfast

Steven makes a stack of pancakes for him and the other Crystal Gems to eat together but everyone's busy. The monster of the week is the breakfast Steven made possessed by Garnet's incriminating evidence and the ending is borderline Gainax: the gems make a new breakfast but now have a phobia of pancakes and instead order pizza.

5. Crystal Life Fibers

Junketsu becomes a bunch a crystals and possesses Petey's fry suit so she can molest more people.

6. Parasyte - the Catim.

Steven tries to shapeshift but it results in that moment from AKIRA + lots and lots of cats.

7. Steven's Shipping Bubble.

Steven's gem ships Steven with Connie by trapping them in a bubble.

8. Serious Business

Steven gets B& from Beach City Funland for destroying it in the name of lulz.

9. Fat Cat

Amethyst and Steven form a tag team furry wrestling duo to troll everyone because they couldn't handle Garnet and Pearl's constant bitching, except that Steven's too big of a pussy to handle the expected butthurt he created. Eventually the Garnet and Pearl Party Van put a stop to it.

10. The Bad Lion Entity

Steven finds a magical pink lion in the desert and brings it home with him when it doesn't maul him. Amethyst brings back a crystal tied to a pillow that becomes a random terrain generator should it make contact with sand. You'll never guess what happens next.

11. Gurren Lagann Invasion

Kamina reincarnates as a gem-monster and raeps the gems with tentacle drills, except Garnet who kills him leaving behind a crystal and mini-Kaminas. Steven rewards the gems with a trip to the Arcade. Garnet gets addicted to DDR.

12. Fusion Reborn Abridged

Steven bitch and moans(even singing a shitty song about wanting to see a giant woman) for seven minutes for Pearl and Amethyst to fuse into the hindu goddess, Opal. They finally do so with shitty dance moves.

13. At least 100 birthdays.

Steven has a mid-life crisis at 12 16 22 43 72 83 years old.

14. The Unholy Quintet.

Rose Quartz's Pink Diamond's death moss runs rampant in a lake called 'Dead Man's Mouth' now that she isn't here to establish dominance and 5 people almost die from it.

15. Devil's Trade

Onion steals Steven's favourite improvised dildo, throws a burger into the ocean, Hit and Runs, and almost destroys the city with magic for the lulz. YA RLY. Oh and Steven tries to trade with Onion.

16. Pearl dies! - Pearl's first regeneration

After Pearl gets peeved by Anime Physics she does what any responsible guardian would do: teach Steven how to sword fight, with actual swords. She gets impaled and what follows is a prediction of the long-ass hiatus that followed after the episode aired.

17. The second coming of Jesus.

Connie and Steven try to get Lion to take them to the cinema but they detour through Rose's Pink's training cave and accidentally summon a Turret.

18. It was a Nigger Moment.

Garnet and Kofi get caught in a Nigga Moment which gets the Crystal Gems B& from Fish Stew Pizza(The Crystal Gems don't give a shit) so Steven invites the Gems and the Pizza family to a Volleyball BBQ to end it. Because Steven doesn't watch the Boondocks he is unaware that Nigger Moments don't end; ever. But this is not the Boondocks, the Nigga Moment ends when the Gems and the Pizzas kill a giant gale blowfish and the Gems get unbanned for Fish Stew Pizza.

19. The Rebellion Story Abridged.

Steven gets pissy because the gems don't have time to hang out with him. The build-up of butthurt opens up his mom's room so Steven decides to escape to it. He learns that Rose's Pink's room is basically the Matrix and can spawn whatever you ask for, but he accidentally ends up loading a map of Beach City. Since the simulator doesn't have enough RAM to handle a map that large, everything is all glitchy and he's eventually booted once it crashes.

20. Holy shit, a celebrity cameo.

Garnet and Amethyst fuse into Sugilite, voiced by Nicki Minaj, to rescue television but become insane while Steven and his friends start working out because of Steven's recent head-trauma, while Pearl is butthurt that Garnet didn't fuse with her and Steven looking up to Sugilite to be strong. Pearl then defeats Sugilite by having her own flail weapon hit her on the head to defuse. SJWs and Tumblr SU criticals accuse this episode of being racist for some reason.

21. Regular Show

Lars pulls a Rigby on Sadie so Steven volunteers to replace him.

22. The Steven Miller Paradox Band.

Steven gets a new time-marble which brings disaster with each and every use; this includes starting a band made up of the original Steven and three time clones that clearly doesn't rip off The Beatles and witnessing 100 of your future selves die before your eyes. You know, it's like Back To The Future meets Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure meets Multiplicity meets The Matrix.

Enjoy

Your

Nightmares!!!

23. Madoka Magica Episode 9 Abridged.

Kyouko Sakura and Madoka Kaname go to Oktavia von Seckendorff's barrier to get Sayaka Miki back but don't.

Okay that's not exactly what happened - only Madoka went.

24. Weeping Angel Pink Diamond.

Amethyst falls off a cliff cracking her gem so the Crystal Gems go to Rose's Pink's healing spring. In this episode we learn about Steven's healing spit.

25 & 26. [Insert noun here] Gem.

Steven releases Lapis Lazuli from a mirror. Lapis proceeds to take the ocean to get home because her gem is cracked so she can't fly, Steven heals the gem so she uses her wings to fly, like a bird, in space, with no air. Funny is that Rebecca said that she didn't think the show would go any farther after this episode, explains why the show now have nothing but more filler episodes,lazy art and shitty "plot" writing in later seasons and episodes.

DO NOT WANT

27. The Crewniverse on crack.

An off-model, cliché and rushed travesty of an episode. Some argue that it only sucks because the past 2 episodes are much better but obviously didn't see the episode(thank god). It's awful, so so awful.

Female contact; he hasn't had that in a while.

...the horror...

28. Space Race.

Pearl, Steven and Greg build a spaceship because Pearl misses space.

29. Secret Gang.

Amethyst and Pearl accidentally release a bunch of giant limbs and have to defeat them. In other words they finally fight a giant foot.

30. It's okay when women do it.

Sadie traps Steven and Lars on an island with an invisible monster because Lars is a dick and because OOOH!!! Look how pretty it is here.

31. Jews did 9/11.

Ronaldo's paranoid schizophrenia interrupts Steven's life.

32. Fusion Crime.

This episode was renamed 'Fusion Cuisine' but to ED it's still Fusion Crime, because Alexandrite is a crime against nature.

33. 6 Gaming/Anime/Self-references per minute.

What Steven thinks Garnet did today.

34. Watermelon Steven.

Steven accidentally uses one of Rose's Pink's too many powers to make sentient watermelons, then deliberately sells them off.

"I'm going to become half of you."

35. The Pink

Rose Pink Diamond talks.

36. The Mean Green Space Machines.

Peridot. That is all.

37. .

• Steven and Connie actually fuse - and into the manifestation of charm and chaos called "Stevonnie".
• Sadie is confirmed to go both ways.
• Garnet wants Stevonnie.
• Some nigger named Kevin is introduced, exists for a few minutes, then leaves.

38. Congratulations

Steven becomes self-conscious about his powers so the Gems prepare a hacked Super Mario 64 stage to test him. Steven finds out that the tests were rigged to not hurt him and rather than to call they're asses out on it, he just brags how "good" he was at them.

39. Garnet's ood powers.

Garnet's ood powers drive Steven paranoid.

40. Kindergartens are evil now.

It's revealed that Gems are born when they pop out of person-shaped holes in cliff faces. Amethyst gets butthurt at Pearl and fights her as she thinks Pearl and Garnet hate her weak fatass for being born there.

41. Halloween in February.

Steven exercises his lighthouse.

42. Christmas in February.

Filler that reveals Connie as a weeb.

43. New Years in February.

Amethyst is revealed as the spawn of Onion as she then angrily shapeshift into "Rose" in front of Greg to get back at him for, like Pearl, taking "Rose" away from her.

44. "I'm Telling" - Peridot

Peridot keeps trying to reactivate "Kindergarten" but the Crystal Gems keep trolling her by stopping her.

;Season 1, 45-Season 2, 1. Steven Bomb I - Hiroshima

45. Another Rose Quartz Pink Diamond episode.

Pearl gets butthurt that Rose Pink Diamond didn't tell her ass everything and takes her anger out on Steven; to the point, she let Steven almost fall to his death while she creepily baww out about how much Rose her diamond, Pink Diamond, met to her and only her.

46. Computer Science III

Lapis warns the Crystal Gems of Walpurgisnacht's return.

47. #Blackout

Pearl's experiments on one of Peridot's robots cause Beach City to black out.

48-49 The Walpurgis Night - Garnet's first regeneration

Peridot and Jasper go to Earth in the Crazy Hand with Lapis captive to kidnap the Crystal Gems but Steven and Garnet fuck them up. Garnet reveals that she is a fusion of two carpet muncher lesbian gems named Ruby and Sapphire. With this reveal, MANY Tumblr sjws and feminazis started flocking, praising, and defending the show hard with their lives. Garnet fucks up Jasper while, out of nowhere, singing about being a proud lesbian fusion and stronger than Jasper. Lapis proceeds to fuck Jasper up further by fusing in malachite with her then trapping themselves to the bottom of the sea.

Season 2 Episode 1 Shellshock

Steven gets PTSD.

Season 2

I cry every time

2. Aesop's Last Fable

Moral: Don't get pissy over people who have different opinions then yours and if you do then kill yourself.

3. Selfies. Lots and lots of selfies.

Steven, Sour Cream, Buck Dewey ans Jenny fuck with Peridot's escape pod.

4. Say Uncle. (The Uncle Grandpa crossover.)

• Uncle Pedo sinks the Lars/Sadie ship.
• The Crystal Gems try to kill Retard-God for the sake of humanity but he uses his god powers to escape.
• Gus, who's apparently omniscient now, tells Steven how his shield works.
• Amethyst eats Pizza Steve. Predictable as fuck.
• Steven wastes his mother's godly power to protect the incestuous-crime-against-ethics' life from the Crystal Gems who were only trying to do what's right.
• The crossover tries to justify its existence - but fails.
• Uncle Grandpa leaves for the next world - for Aberdale. May this mighty god ravage Clarence's precious virgin anus and slay all his loved ones for the glory of Satan.
• Sadly none of this is canon, thanks a lot Satan...

5. How I met your Mother.

Self-explanatory.

6. How not to PR (Personal Responsibility).

Steven assassinates Mayor Dewey to get back at Buck.

7. The end of all Garnet ships.

Jamie reveals himself as a Shakespeare weeaboo and tries to woo Garnet but fails.

8. Ame-rekt. - Amethyst's first regeneration. Guess who'll regenerate next.

Amethyst uses her "I'm not perfect" excuses to act like a total prick and gets rekt and has to regenerate again and again.

;9-13. Steven Bomb II - Nagasaki

9. The White Knight.

Pearl projects her self-esteem issues on Connie. After this episode, Connie becomes a try hard sword fighter to the "team".

10. Ronaldo ruins everything.

Ronaldo gets off reddit for a moment to denounce the people that keep saving everyone's lives as dangers to everyone's lives.

11. Falling Apart.

The Crystal Gems catch Peridot performing Unit 731/Nazi experiments on dead gems. Garnet has a panic attack seeing the fused dead gems that she almost defuse.

12 Pearl wants that diamond.

Greg successfully takes that diamond away from Pearl in a flashback. Showed Rainbow Quartz, Rose Pink Diamond and Pearl fusion for like 1 minute. The fusion dance "kiss" got edited out in the UK version leading to brits going BAWWWWW at CN UK for it.

13 Chille Tid

Steven dreams about Malachite where Jasper and Lapis continues to be the sub to each other dom. Also showed Pearl's creepy as fuck hologram "dream" having ultimate thirst to Rose Pink Diamond before Greg face appeared on Pink's face.

;14-18. Steven Bomb III - The Hydrogen Bomb

14. Garnet is one hell of a drug.

We learn the tale of Stan and the authors of the journals, his brother. Also Sardonyx. Pearl takes advantage of Garnet by keeping fusing with her. Leading to Garnet being butthurt at her for a few episodes.

15. Burn Ruby Burn/Ice Ice Sapphire.

Stanford Pines separates and get in a fight with himself about whether to forgive Stanley - he comes to a rational conclusion: No. Also Garnet. Garnet so butthurt over Pearl took advantage of her and with her(Ruby side)taking fusion too fucking seriously that she defuse. Leading to Ruby acting like a bitch at Sapphire for not taking fusion like serious business and fucked things up for Steven and Greg with her bitching. They thirsty fuse back into Garnet without apologizing for the damage they cause to Steven, Greg, and the hotel.

This episode lead to the SU fantrads almost ruining the real hotel with the same name business with their retardation.

16. Onion is still the devil.

Bill Cipher shows Mabel porn. Also Onion.

17. Mary Sue Dewey.

Mabel and Gabe Newell act a play about the history of Gravity Falls. Also Jamie.

18. Pearl trying too hard.

Gideon tries to trap the Pines in his giant robot but fails. Also Peridot. Pearl tries too hard to get back on Garnet's good side that she (forcefully) puts herself down and that she's "just a pearl" and a weak nobody. Garnet eats her bs excuses and on good terms with Pearl again. Oh and Peridot gets away again.

Fuck this shit I'm out.

19. Goddamnit Obamacare

Doctors think that a 6 armed mass with no head or pulse, and another mass with a massive arm with two hands on one side, two congruent arms on the other and no face or pulse are humans. The whole episode serves as an excuse for Connie to tell her overbearing mother to get fucked.

20. Steven Underground

Steven smashes the patriarchy. The Crew tried way too hard by making Steven wear a dress; leading to Tumblr making "headcanons" that Steven(who 14 mind you) is really "Trans".

21. Fuck and Pull out.

Peridot kidnaps Steven so she can go back to homeworld, the CGs fuck her up again and poofs her this time. Steven release her and is revealed that Peridot is actually a loli, to the rejoice of manchildren everywhere. She now lives with the crystal gems in their bathroom.

22. Doomsday.(Start of The Cluster "arc" with boring fillers in between)

We learn what the "Cluster" is. It's like one of those Nazi gem experiments but big enough to crack the Earth like an egg. The Crystal Gems and Steven don't seem to give a damn about the cluster as seen in later episodes after this.

23. 11 minutes a Pearl.

Peridot's racism towards Pearl leads them to procrastinate a task with the whole fucking Earth as its stakes. Both make a battle mech to beat the shit out of each other and Pearl punches Peridot in the face to stfu.

24. #TRIGGERED

Peridot triggers Amethyst, leading to more procrastination.

;Season 2, 25-Season 3, 3. Steven Bomb IV - Okay, this is getting tiring.

25. Lust

Through DETERMINATION, Ruby bends the time-space continuum to save Sapphire and fused into "cotton candy" Garnet for the first time. Was nothing but how these two lusted over each other(even though, both of them don't know what the fuck love is/was at all and Sapphire never really caring about Ruby in the first place) in a blink of a eye(also Garnet said that she didn't believe in "love at first sight" but this happened, making her a hypocrite) and met Rose Pink Diamond and Pearl. Semi taken stuff from Disney's "Sleeping Beauty"(mostly the blue and red mixing and dancing in the forest). Garnet's voice actor did most of the voices, due to how cheap the Crew is. Tumblr fans was so thirsting over this episode that Rebecca, being the Jew that she is, made a "children" book of this episode to sell to her fucked up fanbase.

26. Season 1 - Episode 13.

Connie confesses that she'll love Steven regardless of his age.

Season 3, 1. #TRIGGERED 2 - Electric Boogaloo

Peridot triggers not only Amethyst, but all of the Crystal Gems; on the moon; by talking shit about Rose Quartz Pink Diamond dooming Earth.

2. yellowdiamond'sneck.avi

We see Yellow Diamond. Peridot tells YD off then YD makes a meme angry face at her.

3. Log Date 9 11 01

Steven listens to Peridot's audio-diary. We see Peridot's rationalizations for making Camp Lazlo yaoi and her surrender to the Tumblr-flu. Crew baited fans into thinking that Garnet was going to fuse with Peridot at the end.

Season 3

;4-8. In Too Deep - Not a bomb for once.

4. Super Yoshi Island

Lapis and Jasper switch S&D positions in Malachite and they wreck Alexandrite's shit. Oh, and the Watermelon Stevens make a community around religious sacrifice. Alexandrite then got the power to defeat and defuse Malachite with their other fusions' weapons. Some earthquake from the cluster happens and Jasper fall in some deep pit. Ending with the CGs telling Steven to stop the cluster himself.

5. Gem Drill

Steven and Peridot drill the earth until Steven mindfucks the cluster. Many say all that build up for the cluster "arc" was all for nothing as it was "defeated" in the last 2 minutes of the episode. Grade A writing there, Crewiverse.

6. "I can show you the world. Shining Shimmering Splender."

Steven shows Lapis the terrible things people have done since Lapis got trapped.

7. #TRIGGERED 3

Peridot's existence triggers Lapis until a "ruling eye" descends upon the barn and Lapis smacks the bitch to the ground. This whole episode is basically a rehash of "Keystone Motel": Peridot/Sapphire wants to pretend that the problem is resolved already and Lapis/Ruby just wants to be a petty, vindictive bitch about it.

8. That Ruby is a spy.

Osomatsu, Karamatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu emerge from the ruling eye to search for Peridot. They elect to search the barn, but the Crystal Gems make them play baseball to get in. Turns out that they were really looking for Jasper this whole time. Conveniently, things are neatly patched up between Peridot and Lapis by the end, and the two are officially relegated to only appearing in filler episodes from this point onward.

;9-Season 4, 2 Summer of Steven - Nuclear Holocaust 13 out of the 21 episodes were leaked

9. Steven Floats <-- Leaked

Steven Floats

10. Dead Drop Beat Dad.

Mr. Burns sells Sour Cream out for shitty guacamole cola and gives Greg 10 mirrion dorrar.

11. Salt Dilution.

Pearl finally gets over her envy to Greg in "Steven Universe: The Musical".

12. Millenials don't have powers.

We learn why Peridot is disabled: Homeworld's current generation sucks as hard as ours.

13. The Exorcist.

Steven sees Lars' life for the failure it objectively is.

14. #TRIGGERED 4 <-- Leaked

Kevin returns to Beach City for more Problematic™ antics - like being an actual paedophile.

15. RACE WAR!

The Fryman and Pizza families start beefing, and Ronaldo cucks his body-pillow-based homunculus of a girlfriend.

16. Kiki's Pizza Delivery Service <-- Leaked

Not actually Ghibli-porn, but Gainax-porn.

17. D33P3ST L0R3!1! <-- Leaked

We learn that the gem monsters got corrupted because the Diamonds played Lavender Town to the planet.

18. Cucked at sea <-- Leaked

Jasper tries to become Malachite again but gets refused, then One-Punch-Manned into the ocean.

19. Greg the Garbage-eater <-- Leaked

We flashback to Greg being tasked to take care of Baby Sour Cream but Rose Pink Diamond fucks him over, 'cos she doesn't know how humans work.

20. Gem Hunt

Steven and Connie try to fight a giant gem dog but Jasper intercepts to wreck the thing.

21. ...and the next day, and the next day...

Jasper continues to stalk "Rose". Amethyst, like always in this show, gets her ass rekt hard by Jasper. Only to be save by zero fight training baitvonnie.

22. Runt vs. Runt

Amethyst, still butthurt from getting her ass kicked from Jasper in the episode before, takes her anger out on Steven in a battle because she's still and always will be, a weak fighter to the team.

23. Yes, Bismuth has this many edges. <-- Leaked

Steven pops the bubble that held a Crystal metal gem named "Bismuth", freeing her. She seems cool at first(she revealed to Steven that Rose's Pink Diamond's sword can only poof gems, not shatter gems but Steven never told the CG's this whenever they talk about how "Rose" "shatterted" Pink Diamond in future episodes due to bad writing from the crew.) but it turns out that during the rebellion, she treated the war they fought like an actual war, so Rose Quartz Pink Diamond bubbled her for wanting to shatter her and her diamond family. Those exact same events occur a second time. Tumblr SJWs and later on, SU criticals immediately started giving Bismuth the Sugilite treatment and claiming that murder is fine.

24. Beta Male <-- Leaked

Jasper is revealed to be best gem.

25. Abstinence is the only birth control. <-- Leaked

Jasper gets AIDS and dies. Also revealed Smokey Quartz, a ugly as fuck fusion of Steven and Amethyst.

26. Back 2 the Moon <-- Leaked

The Ruby-matsus come back and face the same ultimate fate the actual Matsus met. Also reveal that "Rose" "sharttered" Pink Diamond.

27. Dead <-- Leaked

The Ruby-matsus are sent into space to drift across the vacuum for all eternity. One of the rubies almost murdered Steven thinking, like jasper, Steven is really THE Rose Quartz before she gets cocked back into space. The CGs then finds him.

Season 4, 1. The Road Runner. <-- Leaked

Filler of Steven and Peridot trying and failing to catch Gem!Road Runner why the Crystal Gems watch.

2. Know Your Fourth Wall. <-- Leaked

Smoky Quartz is confirmed for worst fusion. Oh yeah, fusions, for some reason, can have rooms in the temple if they exist. Concept won't be seen again by the crew(like always).

Season 4

3. Buddy's Book <-- Leaked

Connie neglects her homework to read a book Steven found about Gem architecture or some shit.

4. TRIGGER <-- Leaked

More Baitvonnie mess with "fusion fight training"(with Garnet showing her wetness for baitvonnie again). Connie has her period Steven loses his way due as he realize that he can't turn every bad guy into a goodie. Had a annoying song that Tumblr and DA ran into the ground to the point that people drew it for any fandom.

5. lol child labour <-- Leaked

Mr Smiley meets up with his old, now homeless suicidal comedy partner.

6. Last one to log on to Tumblr <-- Leaked

To show that Pearl totally got over her thirst for Rose Pink Diamond, Pearl falls for a Hyper-Dyke "Rose" lookalike. This dyke "Rose" copy was just bait as it was confirmed in a crew podcast that she's was just there to show Pearl's taste in women(looking like Rose) and is not coming back. lol.

7. Shit <-- Leaked

Onion introduces a severely retarded version of Steven to his autistic friends.

8. 22 minutes of fucking NOTHING <-- Leaked

What happens when SJW leftards write cartoons? This fucking episode. That's what happens. Rebecca and her crew BAWWWW after the 2016 elections and made this episode. Even having a cake with straight, gay and lesbian couples cake toppers over it. Also Steven's Uncle is voiced by Carl from ATHF.

9. Three babies and a baby

A flashback to when Steven was a baby with the gems kidnapping him from Greg and Pearl almost killed baby Steven for Rose Pink Diamond to come back.

;10-14. Steven Bomb V - I hope you like leaks four weeks ahead of time.

10. The Murdercock Strikes Again <-- Leaked

Steven decides to ask questions for once with the gems(mostly Garnet) acting retarded and making bullshit excuses to not answer any of them. Steven and Greg goes to Korea and find Blue Diamond crying;leading to Blue Diamond kidnapping Greg and taking him to a "human zoo".

11. Padding <-- Leaked

The Crystal Gems use the Rubymatsus' stolen ship to rescue Greg and Steven spends a full quarter of the episode trying to push a button while crying. No, really.

12. tfw no Union <-- Leaked

The Crystal Gems arrive at a pink space station with two arms stations around it(one being BD's) and failing hard at "act the part" disguises to get back Greg but Steven gets kidnapped.

13. The Zoo <-- Leaked

It turns out that the zoo is filled with inbred manchildren who descended from humans that were kidnapped millennia ago but somehow still retain genetic diversity. Greg murdercucks them.

14. Roast Lord.gif <-- Leaked

The diamonds engage in drama(The crew finally using YD's Broadway voice actor to sing, to a badly paced and tempo song about BD to get the fuck over herself about PD's "death". We learn that all the Rose Quertzes are bubbled, Pink Diamond owned the space station and the zoo, and Amethysts are Famethysts(and look like Jasper recolors) and that gems made on Earth are treated like shit. Steven and Greg with the CG's are able to "defeat" Holly Blue and escape back home.

15. The Crystal Copycats

Lapis and Peridot's characters are further destroyed.

16. Storm in the Room <-- Leaked

Steven talks to himself about shit the show already touched on.

17. NEW GEM (100% REAL GUYS)

Clickbait about Ronaldo. Leading to the most hated episode by the fanbase.

18. Fat cats 2.0

A boring sequel no-one asked for. Amethyst magically(aka off-screen) got over her "not good enough"(still is) self-issues that she doesn't need her male furry persona wrestler anymore.

19. Room for Ruby

Navel Ruby takes his spaceship back and trolls Steven to think he has changed to the goodside.

;20-24. Steven Bomb VI

20. Filler Universe <-- Leaked

Filler disguised as character development.

21. Bored Out <-- Leaked

More boring Onion filler with Steven, Connie, and her dad.

22. The Good Coward <-- Leaked

Lars trying hard to hang out with the cool kids only to then bail out at the last minute.

23. Oh look, more kidnapping to get the main "plot" moving again <-- Leaked

Two homeworld gems named Aquamarine and a fusion Topaz happened to come to, what else, Beach City to kidnapped humans for the human zoo.

24. I am Part of My Mom <-- Leaked

The Crystal Gems confront the homeworld gems, boring battle happens and all three of them get their asses kicked hard due to them just sitting around doing nothing in episodes (even Alexandrite fusion got it's ass handled by op loli Aquamarine). Steven says fuck it and decides to die for Rose's Pink Diamond's sins back on homeworld, with Lars still in Topaz.

Season 5

;1-4. Wanted

1. Stuck Together <-- Leaked

Topaz is revealed to be a beta Garnet. Aquamarine is unimpressed by her emotional bullshit and mindrapes her into doing what she says.

2. The Now Pointless Trial

3. Off Colours

Steven and Lars stumble around on Homeworld until they meet the Garbage Pail Kids Gems. Suddenly a bunch of bad robots appear, and Lars gets fucking killed after flying off a robot and snapping his neck against the cave wall. Scene was considered too edgy for Australians and Kiwis, so they cut it out.

4. Lazarus' Head

SteveJesus brings Lars back from the dead. Lars' hair now works as a pocket dimension like Lion's mane, allowing Steven to travel between the two easily. He leaves Lars for dead along with the disabled gems on Homeworld.

;5-10. CN app early airing bomb

5. If Hillary would have Won

another episode about the 2016 election except a black women got the free win as Dewey quits. Also Connie gets butthurt at Steven for not fighting together (aka fusing into baitvonnie) with her and leaves with Lion.

6. Whinecation

Greg and the CGs take Steven on vacation only for him to only bitch and whine about why Connie won't talk to him, Crew baited people with gem lore plot only for Steven to not care.

7. Lapis Leaves Again

Lapis leaves for the second time. Taking the barn with her into space and nothing of value was lost.

8. Back to the Dead Kindergarten

Peridot is acting emo since Lapis left, so Steven and Amethyst try to cheer her up by taking her to what is literally the deadest, most lifeless chunk of earth on the entire planet, The Kindergarten to plant fucking flowers, not really. It doesn't go well.

9. Pointless Filler

Something about a band and a terrible written song. Pointless filler

10. Keven's back for no reason

Keven invites Steven and Connie just so they can fuse for him to show off at the party. Connie starts talking to Steven again just so he can stfu about why she not talking to him.

;11-12. Stranded "Special"

11. Lars of the Stars

Lars becomes a space pirate, and Steven and Connie stumble across him in his stolen ship which he hijacked from a Gem who is voiced by a trap. srsly.

Anyway, Lars spergs out when he finds out Sadie hasn't killed herself out of grief for him, Steven and Connie fuse for no reason, and they wind up getting shot down by the trap while playing a shitty IRL level of Starfox. By the way, the crew didn't show how they stole the ship, they just made Lars shortly tell what they did. We wouldn't want to break away from the show's "pay attention to only Steven's prospective narration".

12. ZOMG PINK DIAMOND REVEAL!!!1!

Baitvonnie tries to not get killed on the unknown planet. Out of nowhere and some bad writing reason (like always with this show), she dreamed of being Pink Diamond, who's revealed to be a midget annoying brat with a cheap looking diamond gem, whining to a Connie's mom/Yellow Diamond mix, wanting stuff which YD tells her to grow the fuck up, PD then gets mad and punches a mirror wall. She then wakes up, call for Lars to come get them, some monster attacks the base for 5 seconds then Lars comes to rescued her. Now back to long ass hiatus until Spring for the show.

;13-16. Clickbait "Diamonds lore" with fillers "Arc 1"

13. Shit we already know about "Rose"

For some reason, Lars and the off losers are still in fucking space and barely at Earth due to the ship breaking down. Steven comes and brings Garnet with him. Garnet get wet at seeing the off-losers(which they get triggered at) and tells the them the same shit about "Rose" and the war against the diamonds for Earth(and not for freeing gems from the diamonds' rule) that the show already touched on for the billion time. Also the corrupted "song" is really just a fucking power beam from the diamonds' hands and barely has any singing. Show hinted that Pink Diamond may be alive.

14. The Big Earbleed

Filler about Sadie's band again with video tape vaporware like filers added and another terrible sounding song in which, Sadie's VA still can't fucking sing for the life of her. Also, the crew trying for Tumblr points with Sadie x Jenny pairing for 2 seconds. Crew got some "big" named female rock singer, only for her to not sing a song and just say two lines.

15. Future Vision Pt.2

Filler about Garnet(having some personality and not taking about fusions for once) plays around with her future vision with Steven for 11 minutes. Pretty much the crew's weak bs excuse of why Garnet barely uses her future vision(like getting Greg kidnapped by BD) as she couldn't read Steven's decision(s) as they were "too fast" for her to read and is "scared" of the future. Also kittens. Just a rehash of "Future Vision" from season 1, just the roles are reverse.

16. Filler to Lars

Again, even more boring fucking filler(How hardcore, blind SU fans love these trash written fillers more than the gem "plot" is beyond us) about Steven reading to Lars about boring shit that people, along with the CG's + Peridot, doing non-adventure stuff around Beach City, like they always been doing for a good while now.

;17-18. The "ROSE WAS PINK DIAMOND AND PINK IS REALLY A PIECE OF SHIT LEADER AND MOM" mini Arc

17. Lapis leaves yet again

Lapis lived on the moon and used the moon base to stalked Steven and the CGs. She then sings a shitty song then she then gtfo for the third time for good when Steven said he saw the diamonds in a dream. Again, nothing of value was lost.

18. ZOMG MY SHITTY ROSE WAS REALLY PINK DIAMOND THEORY IZ CANON GUYZZ!!1!

Pearl reveal to Steven that Rose was Pink Diamond all along and his real mom. Pink Diamond didn't want to do her diamond job and wanted to hang out with her human toys. So she made a Rose Quartz sona, faked her death(Its ok. Years later, Greg kills her anyways)by forcing Pearl to disguising as Rose to do it; and then started the rebellion against her own diamond family which then started the war over her OWN death SHE fucking caused. She also programmed pearl to not tell anyone(the other gems, even her own fucking son) about their secret plan to this day. FACT: turns out Pearl was following Pink's orders(thinking Pink really loved her when she really didn't) this whole time until Pink died; only to be stuck taking care of her master's child, Steven.

Quite possibly the worst poorly planned "twist" the crew wrote back in 2013 and with this "twist", Rebecca's own show message is now pointless and half of the fanbase truly saw how shitty this show really is and quit the show for good.

;19-23. Bomb V aka week of Keystone Motel 2.0 and week of Sardonyx 2.0 while also trying to redeem Pink Diamond's shitty actions."Arc 2"

19. Now we're falling apart(again for like the 3rd time)

Garnet, yet again, defuse into Ruby and Sapphire; but with this time, Sapphire is the one REEEing and BAWWing to Ruby about Rose really being Cunt Diamond and her lying to them(then again who can blame her) and her leaving to go baww somewhere. 11 mins of the crew reconnting Pink Diamond's story to put her in the "good" light as "she didn't know any better" and was "caring". The show then force Sapphire to forgive Pink Diamond and Ruby runs away.

20. What's this show's problem

Amethyst, useful for once, rightfully disses and disowns Cunt Diamond for all the shit she did and cause.

21. The gay faggot Cowboy

Ruby becomes a cowboy for a day with her not missing Sapphire at all, only to miss her anyways; then ask Sapphire to marriage her(not like it matters as they stay fuse as Garnet for 1000+ years without marriage anyways). Also Greg takes the news of his "wife" like a softy pussy of being fine with the news rather to get mad for once.

22. Loud, Angry "black" women is back

Bismuth is unbubbled(and force to forgive Pink in a way) for the wedding. Making the Su crits cream their panties for her return.

23. Hot and Cold's faggot wedding and YD and BD finally fuck shit up only to be "redeemed" by Steven "Pink" Diamond(22 minutes "special")

Ruby and Sapphire get marriage as a excuse for CN and the crew to cater to their SJW, lgbt faggots fans and brag about having the "first lesbian" wedding in a cartoon(Yuri on Ice and we bare bears did it first). However,Blue and Yellow Diamond goes to Earth to fuck shit up for once. However, knowing how much of a pussy Rebecca is and how this shit show works; The big, "EPIC" battle was rushed, The Cluster turned on the diamonds because its now best buddy-buddy with Steven(like always), Lapis comes out of nowhere to help, both her and Peridot got poofed and Steven, with PD being his mom, made the diamonds believe he is Pink Diamond and then befriend and redeemed part of his dictator diamond "family" BD and YD(like in the leak clip last month).

The crew pissed some fans off with Steven's lame "We're not enemies, we're family" quote to the diamonds to stop fighting them and the shitty "don't think about how Pink fucked everyone(even Earth) over, and the diamonds could come to fuck us up anytime soon, think only love for Garnet's faggot wedding today" song.

;24-28. Diamond Days aka more badly written fanfiction with another god damn special then back to months of hiatus

24. Beginning of the forced Diamonds redemption and ZOMG WHITE DIAMOND FINALLYZ REVEAL(after 5 seasons)!!

Crew felt like releasing this rushed episode early on the CN app. The diamonds still trying to buy that Steven is Pink somehow(but they do because Rebecca). YD and BD play dumb dumb that they "didn't know" that they're powers would corrupt the gem into monsters and not kill them like they wanted. They can't undo the corruption as they need White Diamond. So they all find Pink Diamond's legs and ass ship(no really) in the middle of the desert, and goes to Homeworld (which took like 5 seconds to get there), where its all cracked up. White Pearl take Steven to White Diamond, who is bright as hell and can only see her face. She, like YD and BD, thinks Steven is really Pink Diamond and then takes Steven to Pink's room.

25. There was Beach city filler, now have Homeworld filler

The Diamonds prep Steven to be like Pink Diamond(they still think its her) by making him wear his shitty dead mom's outfit. For some odd reason, the diamonds have bathrooms and saunas like humans do; plus the walls, statues, and a comb are alive gems that can't move. Oh and Steven sings a shitty song about being like Pink Diamond and how to try to fix his mom's "broken" family.

26. Recycling Alone Together

Steven dumbass throws a party to "bring" his dictator "family" closer. Blue Diamond calls Garnet a thing and calls Connie a "pet"(making SU crits cry racism). Also Era 3 gems are made; wasting more resources for the diamonds. Steven and Connie accidentally stupidly fuse into Baitvonnie then Pearl and Amethyst fuse into Opal then Ruby and Sapphire fuse back into Garnet, all in front of the diamonds. Out of nowhere, some random fused gem nobody named Jade(looks like a fucked up peridot) comes out (not even Garnet cared) then Yellow Diamond zaps poofs the CGs + Jade and YD then throws Baitvonnie's ass into a dark chamber room. Also some shit with White Pearl was Pink Diamond's first Pearl as if anyone didn't alright know that.

27. More clickbait Homeworld filler

Base off a shitty song that was hyped up since 2017, leading all for nothing but (like always) boring filler with more shitty foreshadowing. Even half of the hardcore fanbase hated this episode.

28. A rushed shitty hour long special(Season 5 final then another hiatus afterward)

Steven calls out BD for "abusing" his shitty mom then BD helps them, BD and YD beat each other for 5 seconds then YD helps them rescue the CG's but White Diamond stops them with her head and PD's ass mech. Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis come in YD and BD's arm mechs and knocked out White for a bit. They tried to talk to White but she zaps gray YD and BD and make them her bitches. Steven does gray stu stuff like fusing with his moms(they get new looks and ugly, lazy fusions) one by one while they were still poofed inside their gems then mega fuse with them to form Obsidian(just their temple house) for 5 seconds then they defuse. Good half of the special is just White roasting "Pink Diamond" and Steven like a boss and Steven(like a true faggot)just standing there whining and crying for her to change. White take out Steven's gem to get Pink out but its just Steven's gem soul and the soul pulls a anime by knocking out everyone and refusing with Jesus Steven. Steven "defeats" White with a shitty one liner that makes her blush(no really). Blah blah blah Everyone goes back to earth, Diamonds heal the corrupted gems then goes back to Homeworld, Lars and the retards comes back from space, then shitty singing. Look forward to another months long hiatus til whenever CN drops season 6 fill with worthless Beach City fillers and the tv movie in September. Oh and they wasted money by getting a big, well known Disney animator(James Baxter) for that 5 seconds little scene with Steven refusing with his gem soul.

TL;DR- A rushed, poorly written season finale that you wish was the show's finale and most fans were disappointed with this finale. They "planned" this special 8 years ago(again showing how shit Rebecca's and her crew pacing and writing skills are).

Unaired Episodes

"Steven Universe: the movie" Tv movie. Yes you saw right, this shit show is getting a tv movie. However, going by how they do 22 mins "special" episodes, this well be padded out and or rushed with nothing much happening until the end.

Shorts

Pilot

Amethyst gives Steven a magical hour-glass marble that she and the gems were SUPPOSED to protect from those who don't know how it works (e.g. Steven Universe). He accidentally the marble to travel back in time to Pwn-fu Lars with comebacks only to learn that now ONLY he can use it, and ONLY for comebacks. A show was destined to be made from this pilot since Cartoon Network's standards were low enough to allow Clarence and Uncle Grandpa to be made into TV shows. Had a somewhat better artstyle than what the show uses now.

Lion in a Box

Classroom gems - What are gems?

Classroom gems - How are gems made?

Amethyst goes into detail about her traumatic origin, then Pearl has flashbacks.

Classroom gems - Fusion

There's nothing in this short that isn't already addressed in the show. Also note how all three of these classroom shorts are done in that shitty chibi artstyle.

We are the Crystal Gems

The extended opening.

A goddamn fucking unboxing video

An even lamer reaction video

Video Chat

Lapis doesn't understand how video chatting works and thinks Steven is literally trapped inside Peridot's tablet, despite understanding how TV works and even sending a video message to the CG's back in season 1.

Cooking with the Lion

A parody based off a popular youtuber Japanese cooking "show" named "Cooking with the Dog". Again showing what a bunch of fucking weebs Rebecca and her crew are.

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