Eminem

HOLY SHIT HIS NEW MUSIC IS COMPARABLE TO THAT OF TOM MACDONALD

ACHTUNG:

Eminem is a
puppet of the Jew!

Eminem or EMINƎM (Marshall Bruce Mathers III), also known as €minem, Slim Shady (eminem isnt actually slim shady, slim shady is the voice in his mirror that mocks his niggertry every night)^[1]^[2] M&M and The White Nigger is an American hip-hop artist widely known for his extreme rapping skillz, and as the first wigger famous for releasing an original track that reached the mainstream. This was done to encourage Aryans to dabble in nigger-"music" and its inevitable cultural consequences of depraved criminality. This Jew experiment was a success, with lasting consequences from which society is still reeling.

Eminem's debut album was called "Infinite", and it was released in 1996. However, he did not attain fame until a few years later, when he released a vastly inferior album. This trend has continued to the point where now Eminem's older albums are outselling any new albums he's since released, as he slowly circles the sell out's drain and becomes ever increasingly cucked by Universal who doesn't allow their artists to be controversial.

Early in his career, before being ball gagged by his betters, Eminem racked up a lot of attention, drama and triggered the fuck out of old media by casually taking on every macabre subject imaginable, from incest, child cannibalism, mass shootings (such as Columbine), serial killers, assassinating the president, his self-repressed homosexuality and even moar. Those times are long passed though, since slim shady stopped possesing him, and he's since become more corporate than controversial, now fully accepted by the NORPs and muzzled by mainstream media, he's become your dad's rap artist, an aging relic no longer relevant in counter-culture.

	“	I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I smell. Did I mention I'm stupid?	„
	—Actual Eminem quote

Background

Eminem grew up in the Detroit area, a predominantly black, festering shithole that's been run by Democrats for over half a century. He was a major spaz growing up, like all severely autistic and shit, he wound up picked on and pushed around a lot as a result. His home life wasn't much better, growing up fatherless and continually fucked in the head by his junkiewhore mother who treated him like a living pharmaceutical experiment.

His uncle introduced him to rap one day, likely after introducing his mouth to his uncle's cock flute, which is what inspired him to start incessantly rapping about fags and likely what drove his uncle to kill himself shortly thereafter when he realized his child bone smuggling operation was going to wind up exposed as a result of this retard who couldn't keep his rap trap shut.

It was clear from the get-go that his ability to rap resembled that of a paraplegic's ability to walk and he spent most of his early adulthood trying to impress drunken partygoers at ghetto clubs who probably never even bothered to remember his name, much less their own names or where they were even at as they were probably all simultaneously drunk and cracked out. Eventually he caught the eye of Dr. Dre who saw a potential market in "white boi rap" and pimped the little bitch out with some blockbuster beat tracks that allowed Eminem to gain undeserved fame.

Fall From Fame

As a result of his spotlight stealing sellout act Eminem gained worldwide recognition and attention, largely as a result of Dr. Dre using him as a living butt puppet (in more ways than one) and partly as a result of the crazy/spazy shit he autisically popped off while popping pills. He soon became a faux figurehead in mock-edgy white mainstream culture. Effectively the rap equivalent of a Che Guevara t-shirt, our little "rap God" was continually and histrionically portrayed as some purveyor of provoking commentary. But as his corporate controllers slowly brought the bitch to heel, he eventually became just another sad sellout, whose entire life is more horseshit and hype than hopeful happenstance out of a ghetto hell hole. Eminem didn't break free from the underbelly of society... he just became its simpering, whiny little whore job. He got out of the gutter by selling his sweet ass off to the highest bidder, who eventually cucked the bitch and muzzled him like a dog.

A Puppet And A Gay Guy Owned His Ass

Eminem is gay. He'd rather fight her than try to fuck her.

Being like every typical, white kid to come before him, Eminem wanted to show off all 3 of his big boy hairs and decided to copy the Black Man by getting into a feud with someone so he could look like a bad-ass.

So who'd he pick, some West Coast Gansta Rapper from Compton? Some steroid shooting prison rapper? Maybe he went after some Heroin needle rider from a grunge band? NO! Being the bleached white bitch that he is Eminem, back in 2002, picked two of the safest people on the planet. He picked Moby, a bald techno-music faggot that looks like Charlie Brown getting chemo that any girl, picked at random, could pwn and Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, a rubber puppet of a dog with a hand up his ass or what rappers and music critics would say describes the working relationship between Eminem and Dr. Dre.

Most people put this moment as the begining of Eminem's Fall From Fame because for all his bitching about being bullied and made fun of while growing up as a nerdy white kid in Detroit in his songs that he had to resort to bullying the least threatening person at the VMAs.

	“	Keep booing, little girl. I will hit a man with glasses.	„
	—Eminem trying to look like a badass by threatening Moby

Probably the worst damage to Eminem's person, or rather his wannabe tough guy character came from Triumph The Insult Comic Dog (A.K.A. Robert Smigel) when it came out in role at a "Press Conference", on Conan O'Brian", wearing a neck brace after Eminem grabbed his head and pushed him away showing the world what a bitch Eminem really is by starting a feud that would last 3 years when he said,

	“	Everyone, please. Let's all try to be easy on Eminem. At the end of the day, he's just another white guy trying to make an honest living… stealing black people's music.	„
	—Triumph The Insult Comic Dog

Picking the least threatening people to feud with seems to be par-for-the-course with Eminem because before Moby and Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, his first real big feud was with Christina Aguilera when in his shit-fest rhyme The Real Slim Shady he decided to tell her that he liked her by running up to her on the playground and punching her in the arm when he accused her of sucking off Carson Daly, to get her videoes into high rotation on MTV, and Fred Durst Just Because she's a whore and Fred has a dick.

As most would expect, Eminem got his ass handed to him when Christina answered him back, using the same Slim Shady beat and said that he could be rapping about her sucking his dick if he could have lasted long enough for her to get his zipper down.

This was mostly played off as a joke in the news and in entertainment magazines so nothing really came out of it. It's only after a history of watching Eminem going after some of the least likely people, mostly women, so he can call himself a bad ass, such as Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey and Wil Smith that you start to see a pattern from him and that he's completely serious.

Controversy

Due to his offensive, lulzy behavior, Eminem has naturally offended millions of people, mainly LGBT degenerates and Soccermoms.

Columbine Connection

Yes, the soccermoms tried to fucking blame Eminem for Columbine, despite the killers (Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold) despising rap. Not backing down from the horde of suburban soccermoms, Eminem attacked them back, bringing in even moar controversy, repeatedly mentioning the killers, and using the butthurt to fuel his career, bringing in big bucks.

Several of his songs reference Columbine:

White America

White America,

I could be one of your kids,

white America,

little Eric looks just like this.

The Way I Am

And all of this controversy circles me

And it seems like the media immediately Points a finger at me...

So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie

Or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up

When you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up

With the bullshit they pull, 'cause they full of shit too

When a dude's getting bullied and shoots up his school

And they blame it on Marilyn... and the heroin, man,

Where were the parents at? And look where it's at

Middle America, now it's a tragedy

Now it's so sad to see, an upper class city

Having this happening...

Then attack Eminem 'cause I rap this way...

I'm Back

I take seven kids from Columbine,

stand 'em all in line

Add an AK-47, a revolver, a 9

A MAC-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine

And that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time!

Some kid actually got v& IRL for posting these lyrics. Welcome to 1984, Americunts.

Remember Me

Came home, and somebody musta broke in the back window

And stole two loaded machine guns

And both of my trenchcoats

Sick, sick dreams of picnic scenes

Two kids, sixteen, with M-16's and ten clips each

And them shits reach through six kids each

And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?

D12: Revelations

Wait 'til school's over, pu-pil are people to shoot through

Kids goin cuckoo, with a two-two

Since my fame is this new dude, in this high school

Losin his noodle learn that people don't like you

The football jocks is, spittin on him

Popular kids in school is now pickin on him

Burn out youngsta niggaz now hittin on him

And his teacher in his english class keep flippin on him

And now he's grounded with no allowances

for drinkin forty ounces, cause he was caught by his counselors

And why the fuck I gotta ride the bench coach?

Already got expelled for wearin a trenchcoat

All I ever seen is.. {violence, violence}

Told me to keep silent, stepped back in my eyelids

It's apparent that my parents weren't parents at all

That's why I blew out my brains and murdered you all!

Death Threat

In one of Eminem's songs, "We As Americans", he rants about the decadent, dumb and degenerate society that was Bush-era America. A segment in the song has Eminem state:

Than making paper airplanes out of a twenty

Fuck money! I don't rap for dead presidents.

I'd rather see the president *dead*.

It's never been said, but I set precedents.

Apparently W thought it was such a big deal that he sent the Secret Service over to Eminem to harass and intimidate him.

Homophobia

Throughout his career, Eminem has insulted and trolled thousands of fags, all for the lulz.

Hate fags, the answer's yes

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge

That'll stab you in the head, whether you're a fag or lez

Or a homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest

Pants or dress, hate fags? The answer's yes

Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic

Staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulgin'

That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of 'em

They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of 'em!

Anti-semitism

Out of the Closet

After decades of denial, Eminem finally came out of the closet live during an interview!

Hector's rectum

It's my sector, homosexual dissector

Come again- rewind selector!

I said nice rectum, I had a vasectomy hector

So you can't get pregnant if I bisexually wreck ya

Hannibal Lector into guy sex

and I bet ya I tantalize ya

in the less than five seconds I get ya

Fast Lane

So I'm thinking 'bout this nice, nice lady

Wait, no, stop me now 'fore I get on a roll (Danish)

Let me tell you what this pretty little dame's name is

‘Cause she's kinda famous

And I hope that I don't sound too heinous when I say this,

Nicki Minaj, but I wanna stick my penis in your anus

Cold Wind Blows

You don't listen to 'em anyway, yeah, struck a nerve

Sucker, motherfucker, might as well let my lips pucker

Like Elton John, ‘cause I'm just a mean cocksucker

I told you ain't no fuckin' way to shush me

Call me a faggot ‘cause I hate a pussy

Fack

I'm all outta gas, not so fast

Uh, your finger just went in my ass

Ow, that hurts, take it out now

Oh, wait a minute, ow, put it back in, in-in-in

This don't mean I'm gay, I don't like men

I like boobs, boobs, boobs

Now see that gerbil, grab that tube, shove it up my butt

Let that little rascal nibble on my asshole

Uhh, yeah, right there, right there

Ahh, I'm coming, oh, yeah

Fack, I just came again, okay, pull it out now

Oh, fuck yeah, wait, he's not out, he's still crawling around up there

Ow, fuck, I think it's stuck

Ow, but it feels so fucking good

Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, god damn!)

I'm gonna facking come! (Oh, shit!)

Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)

I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube

Ew, ew, ew, ew

Daily Eminem Thread

Daily Eminem Thread is either a thread where OP asks people's opinions on Eminem's music or a thread where they discuss spaghetti (see the section below). These threads rarely survive for more than a couple of hours. Contrary to their name, these threads are not made daily.^[^{sauce plz!?!1!}^]

Mom's Spaghetti Copypasta

This article is copypasta.

You can help by adding original research.

>Be in school
>Hot girl in front of me
>She drops her pencil
>She bends down to pick it up
>She's not wearing panties
>Turns around and looks at me
>"Like what you see"?
>Whole class goes "oooooooooh"
>Palms are sweaty
>Knees weak, arms are heavy
>Vomit on my sweater already
>Mom’s spaghetti

(Protip 4 newfags: copy & paste it somewhere! Then you've finally done something you can REALLY be proud of.)

UNCUT DIRECTOR'S EXTENDED CUT

Eminem's new direction

	“	It’s my artistic license to express myself. Last time I checked, Trump isn't an artist and doesn't have an artistic license. I'm not the fuckin' president.	„
	—Eminem, on Donald Trump's lack of an artistic license

On October 19, 2016, Eminem released a shitty freestyle titled "Campaign Speech" in a desperate attempt to stay relevant and reclaim his self-declared title of "rap god". To help promote his latest album, the release date coincided with the third presidential debate and nineteen days before the presidential election; the main subject being politics, as if we didn't have enough of that shit. He throws many insults towards (or in wigger terminology, disses) Donald Trump and expresses devotion to many in the social justice crowd in order to appease his new fanbase. Eminem tries hard to interject socially relevant commentary, the end result being 8 minutes of simply rhyming with numerous two dollar words that don't make any logical sense with one another. Naturally this track was well received by his old fanbase, which was expecting more rapping about slapping a bitch, and other themes relevant to persons of color.

Video:

	“	You got it twisted, all 'cause I offered this bitch / A doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic / Bitch, get to massagin' this dick! / Like spas in this bitch, slob on it with gobs of lipstick	„

Trump Diss

In October of 2017 Eminem's media marketing handlers decided to have their little dancing monkey do a freestyle rap video on BET as a means of promoting his upcoming album. The video features Marsha Mathers like you've never seen ~~him~~ her before, all cucked up by the media and raggin like a little bitch about how Trump has got his tranny panties all up in a twist. The video covered many poorly rhymed topics, from accosting Trump with a coffee pot to snickering about his skin color. Apparently Marsha doesn't know that orange is the new black and his rhymes are all whack...

He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
YouTube censors gotta cuck this cash cow
Snap back to marketing, oh there goes some lyrics
Oh, there goes more, gotta keep this Mathers muzzled
He's gagged so bad, but he can't give up the money, not now
Can't be controversial when you're owned by Universal
Shits unfunny, Rabbit's lookin like the Easter Bunny

Seriously though, that was just sad. It's like he wasn't even trying. No rhyme, no flow, just choppy drunken angry doubt from some has-been sellout bitchin like some pussy little girl scout. Runnin at the mouth, talkin smack with his crappy Trump rap, tryin to make some fat stacks with weak ass slap backs. We won't hold back as we verbally attack, words like an Amtrak, goin clickity-clack, on over his back, he's catching flak, jackin for corporate crack in some old shack, tryin to hack up a comeback, the slack witted megalomaniac, have some more negative feedback...

Previous Video | Next Video

Oh shi- everyone's slappin a bitch!

Eminem's 2017 Flopback

On November 10th Eminem dropped his first track in years and, well, it falls pretty flat...

With Beyoncé as backdrop instead of beats it creates an oddly disjunctive sounding mess of what can best be described as "church rap" or "gospel rap", further cemented by the constant Christian quote whoring. It's meandering musical apathy, like an animal nonchalantly shitting onto a piano at random, it has no catch, no distinctive melody or entrancing tune to tell it apart from any other lackluster, easy listening languish wailing in the wait time of a tiring call as your life is put on hold. On the whole it sounds like something you'd hear at your local Church to try and recruit troubled black youth on over to Jesus. There's no flavor to it, no bite, no spice, no bitch slap of salty counter-culture crass clapping back across the masses.

Tragically the only thing we've learned from watching Eminem's career and listening to his music over the past twenty some odd years is that drugs and alcohol may not actually be such bad choices after all, at least from a creative perspective... in fact they might actually be necessary in order to produce outstanding art.

Quotes

	“	My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture of him.	„
	—Another actual Eminem quote, as well as proof that he is in fact a bastard.

	“	Somewhere deep down there's a decent man in me, he just can't be found.	„
	—Eminem, coming clean

	“	Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.	„
	—Truth

	“	I always wished for this, but it's almost turning into more of a nightmare than a dream.	„
	—Eminem

	“	I might talk about killing people, but that doesn't mean I do it.	„
	—Sadly, Soccermoms are incapable of processing this information.

	“	It'd be stupid for me to sit here and say that there aren't kids who look up to me, but my responsibility is not to them. I'm not a baby sitter.	„
	—Most parents who blame him for their children's behavior, never properly parented said children in the first place.

	“	Yeah, I did see where the people dissing me were coming from. But, it's like, anything that happened in the past between black and white, I can't really speak on it, because I wasn't there. I don't feel like me being born the color I am makes me any less of a person.	„
	—Liberal faggots would beg to differ.

	“	My thing is this; if I'm sick enough to think it, then I'm sick enough to say it.	„
	—Eminem

	“	There was a while when I was feeling like, 'Damn, if I'd just been born black, I would not have to go through all this'.	„
	—Racial Irony of the modern, leftist-created world.