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Portal:DeviantART/Featured Article/Archive
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August 2021
Just when you think you've scraped the deepest levels of stupidity on the Internets, it bends over and sharts something horrendous straight up your nose and into your unprepared brain.
Onigojirakaiju (powerword: Mark Draper), is that last, sticky crumb of shit clinging to your asshole after a hefty dump. His stench permeated places like deviantART, FurAffinity - until they got hacked, anyway - and various other places. He has been banned or hacked from many of his favorite forums due to his retarded behavior and pathetic attempts to be an Internet tough guy.
One might think Mark's idiocy is the result of being a young, inexperienced teenager on the cusp of adulthood. Sorry, gentle reader, that is not the case. He was born on December 6, 1982. At 30 years old, this festering pile of lard still lives at home with his abusive, bipolar step father. Mark's step dad died sometime last year; Mark rejoices daily and wants to piss on his grave. Mark has no job and holds a deep hatred for bipolar people. Why the hatred for bipolar people? Ah, you see, it's because he was abused as a child by his bipolar step dad. By abused, we mean his step daddy didn't give little Markie his way when he was a kid. In Mark's mind, not getting what he wants when he wants it equates to being beaten, bullied, molested or neglected.
July 2016
Just like any fandom on deviantART, there will always be that one person who milks the fandom just enough so they accumulate a huge following with their shit drawings. Renee, or DeterminedToDrawUT, is one of these people who have drawn people over to her shittacular Undertale artwork. She claims that she is "saving Undertale" by making a group where people don't have to be criticized for their equally as shit art. Not to mention, she seems to like bonezoning Sans with Frisk a lot, and makes the excuse that she "ups the age of the character, so therefore it's not pedophilia".
Renee uses the depressed card and plays victim like Keemstar, so she can find ways to justify her actions when she's called out on.
April 2015
nikkineko333 or real name Nicolle McKenzie, is a 16 year-old girl who lives in some part of deviantART's fat, disgusting body. When she isn't posting questionable art of herself or other TARTlets for attention, she's usually going around and seeking drama to insert herself into-- also for attention. She proclaims that she is a God and Messiah in deviantArt's dark times, even though she's a supar edgy "Satanist". She speaks in fish puns, reaction images, and butchered SMS littered with "kek"s and punctuated with "~"s--- because 'I7'5 M4H QU1RK!!1'.
As is fashionable for the typical edgy TARTlet teen, she claims to be a depressed, suicidal schizo, and thinks she's cool for knowing 4chan maymays. She is physically incapable of being serious unless it involves fishing for sympathy.
Nikki recently has shown other people that she doesn't care if her actions caused someone to kill themselves.
July 2014
Sythyx, better known as Faggot, is an intelligent weeaboo hambeast- turned-dyke because no one was willing to stick their dick anywhere near her disgusting pussy, causing her to become borderline suicidal. Like most weeaboos, Faggot presumably has multiple mental issues, as simply disagreeing with her will make her threaten to kill herself. Sadly, she has yet to actually do so.
She constantly likes to over-react, her favorite expression of course being "There's no excuse for what you've done," even used for everyone who was just saying something mean to her.
Because of her definite retardation, Faggot has been involved in a multitude of drama, usually because she's over-reacted about something again. Apparently she's tried to kill herself eight times already. That's a feat only a special kind of retard can achieve.
February 2014
mintchoco is a snotty, arrogant, and insanely whiny attention whore on deviantART who is unique in that she will block people for -- believe it or not -- saying nice things to her or watching her without faving her work immediately. According to mintbro, being her fan is a privilege, and if one is worthy enough of said privilege and wants to stay off of her blocklist, they must adhere to her strict and incredibly bizarre set of rules.
January 2014
LordElthibar, (powerword: Michael Klein),On the outside, he may seem like any sort of Autistic Tarlet, only LordElthibar is a total fucknut manchild who is so stuck into his religion, that even God thinks he's nuts, he's you're typical Evangelist Christfag, he hates gays, People from other countries, abortions, Non-Christians, and everybody else who disagrees with him, all while masturbating to his Autistic Disney fanart and guns, he's also a proud Disney fanfic author, writing about the evil liberals taking his freedom away, all while he denies it to people who don't agree with him. He also talks like it's 1513, but don't let this fool you, this is proving how autistic he is.
July 2013
Hate art is art drawn by devoted fans of certain people that are used to created drama. Most hate art usually consists of the victim's Mary Sue character or the person him/herself doing zany antics such as being raped, killed, maimed, beaten or just made fun of in any way possible. Hate art is at its funniest when it targets a popular DeviantART or e-lebrity, as you can expect many fantards BAWWWWWWING and flaming you out of desperation to leave their idol alone.
June 2013
HamletMachine (Powerword Michelle Palumbo, born 1982) is a disgusting 31-year-old faghag and internet cult leader reigning from New York, 'MERICA. She is well known on the internet within the batshit insane yaoi communities on dA and y!gallery, as well as the gross fatass cunts over at /y/ for her ovary punching web-comic, Starfighter.
April 2013
devianTART Stamps are the userboxes of the devianTART world, an infectious form of vanity which manifests itself on the profile pages of far too many DA users. Stamps have always been very popular on devianTART as a way of showing your opinions, circlejerking and gaining e-points amongst 16 year old girls.
April 2011
If you need a good convincing example of what you don’t ever want to become, read this article. Surely, you would hate yourself if you were anything like Chad Syphrett.
Behold the epic lolcow that is 
ChadSyphrett; a man so ridiculous and full of himself that he couldn't be anything but a troll. He lashes out at the first sign of resistance. Like a good lolcow, he never quits against the Internet, occasionally issuing death threats and telling people that he'll join the military just so he can learn to donate to people. Let us take you on a journey around the tubes following the exploits of the man they call The Living Meme.