Marvel vs Capcom 3

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT OMG WESKER AND DOOM DECIDE TO BUTTFUCK EACH OTHER AND EARTH BUT GALACTUS COMMENCES TO TROLL EVERYBODY BY GETTING THE MUNCHIES TO EAT EARTH AND SQUASH EVERYBODY LIKE THE BUGS THEY ARE!!!11 AND THIS GAME WAS A BETA!!!1 HOLY SHIT ALBERT WESKER DESTROYS EVERYTHING DUE TO HIS COOL SHADES EVERYBODY HATES HIM BUT HE STILL KICKS ASS!1!!!1!! EVERYBODY ELSE PRETTY MUCH SUCKS!!!1!!!1

Marvel vs. Capcom 3 (or Marvel vs. Capcom 2: 2) is a video game made by M.U.G.E.N fans. It seems like a pretty cool game, but then you realized you have wasted sixty dollars (or 30 pounds if you're from the only other country in the world: UK) on glorified fan-fiction.

Did I mention alot of the characters have big boobs? Guess not. Well most do. Go ahead and fap to She-Hulk's green tits. http://rule34.paheal.net/post/list/She-Hulk/1 Here's the link buddy. No one is stopping you.

Characters

Spider-Man: *Sniff* What do they got that I haven't got? Also the recipie for any unoriginal action hero. Just add douche, guns, swords, faggish weaboo dogs, and stir one liners until the mix is made into a super badass wannabe to be hated by all.

Captain America: USA! USA!
Deadpool: Basically a ripoff of Spider-Man with 4chan and Street Fighter powers, and the games main lulz.
Doctor Doom: PLASMAH BEEEEAM!
Dormammu: Pretty much Doctor Doom. With a fire head.
Hulk: HULK SMASH EVERYBODY! EVEN FUCKING MODOK!
Iron Man: He hates Captain America. With a fucking passion. Also hits on every girl in the game, even fucking Tron. He helped Capcom build this game in a cave, with a box of scraps. Nerfed like hell for no reason.
Magneto: WHERES YO CURLEH MUSTACHE AT?! The Jew that has the Brothahood of awesome. Also a classic tourneyfag favorite, due to his AWESOME COMBOS!!
M.O.D.O.K: Nobody uses him. Neither will you but if if you wana troll Dante and Wesker fags, use him.
Phoenix: Everything kills her, due to her small HP pool. Even Fucking MODOK. Turns into a super PMS bitch upon losing all her HP.
Sentinal: NEUTRALIZE NEUTRALIZE NEUTRALIZE SENTINAL FORCE. Got the size of his health nerfed, causing tourneyfags everywhere to an hero.
She-Hulk: Hulk with tits. Nuff said. Never used.
Spider Man: One of the only awesome people on this game. He thinks everybody sucks cocks. Replaced in the game by Deadpool as Marvel's Star and no one plays him online? Still funnier than Deadpool and much more trollish.
Storm: MAKE IT RAIN! The only nigger in the game, and as such shows unnecessary amounts of legs. ( Also classified as a freak)
Super Skrull: Best fantastic four cosplayer EVAR. Alien Hitler with all their powers.
TaskMaster: Troll who scams everybody and stole everybody's moves. Even sex moves. But not MODOK's.
Thor: God of Thunder. Nuff said. His taunt rants make Chuck Norris sweat cum. Has a ban hammer that fucks everyone up.
Wolverine: Every freak wants inside his pants. Still short and short on deodorant.
X-23: Emo Wolverine with tits. Every PERSON wants inside her. Morrigan turns lesbian for her.
Akuma: Emo demon who hates everybody for not beating him.
Wesker: The only BADASS and god. He is used by fat people, angry Japs who turn on his Japenese voice, and gooks and everybody else. Problebly THE most overpowered little shit in the history of video games. GOTTA HAVE THE SHADES.
Amaterasu: That dog from Okami and many LP's. Player of choice for weaboos. ZOMG CHUGGAACONROY. A big fuck you to Jesus.
Arthur: That midget knight from a game nobody played who strips to his boxers to show dat ass. The only person to receive steroid buffs in UMVC3.
Chris: Nobody is die'n on his watch. Not even MODOK. Turns emo at the sight of Jill and and starts a ragefest at Wesker and the main character in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. Plans to not appear in Black Ops 2.
Chun-Li: Bruce Lee's wife who kicks all the fucking time. Now both her thunder thighs AND her tits are big. Severly underused.
Crimson Viper: Acts just like Iron Man, only with the biggest tits in history. And a more awesome suit.
Dante: THE ULTIMATE DOUCHE-BAG IN GAMING HISTORY. He doesn't know why he can't meet nice girls. Has over 9000 special moves, due to the developer's 10-year-old son making it so every way you can mash your palm on the controller produces a useful move. Another tourneyfag favorite do to his Z0MG MIXUPS. Use his Japanese voice to transform him to a true fag. Still overpowered in UMVC3.
Felicia: Longcat and Miley Cyrus's freaky hot yiff spawn. Her voice ruins her fap potential, which is worse in Japenese.
Hsien-Ko: An Asian zombie. Yeah. An Asian zombie. Fapping to her makes you a necrophiliac.
Haggar: Got his fighting experience fighting niggas in the hood to save his hawt daughter. Assrapes his opponent for his lvl3 hyper. Respect his fucking pipe.
Morrigan: Bat hooker with massive tits who wants inside EVERYBODY. Even both MODOK and You.
Spencer: Nobody can see how he can lose due to his BIONIC AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRMM. Captain Falcon would be proud.
Ryu: Orgasms every time he fights and rages whenever he wins. ZOMG, UR STACE IS WEAKKK!11
Trish: The devil's hot daughter and Dante's companion. Known for causing more fanboy hardons than Samus, Morrigan, and Tifa combined in this game. Touches her tits during her victory pose.
Tron: The only girl with small tits and has a fetish for the absent Mega Man. Pedobear and Morrigan favorite. Turning on her Jap voice means you like loli.
Viewtiful Joe: A fag hero wannabe who fights like a 13-year-old boy. Orgasms at the sight of Trish and any Marvel superhero. Spider Man thinks he is adorable but sucks ass at fighting.
Zero: OMG WHEREZZ MEEEGAHMANNN!?!? Runs around shitting on people's necks with his lightsaber, despite not knowing WHAT HE'S FIGHTING FOOORGHH!!! To make matters worse for poor ass Megaman, he is a DLC costume for Zero. Enjoy!

DLC

Its an add-on where you get barely anything for $5. A better idea rather on DLC is this: You could get some condoms and fuck your 17 year old neighbor in the ass. Multiple times. OR get a Subway $5 boner footlong.

DLC Characters:
Jill: Former whore who now has a fetish for Wesker and likes to shank the camera.
Shuma-Gorath: Made to create much tentacle hentai. Played by all fans of tentacle hentai and weaboos wanting it. Also the reason Tron wears a crotch plate.

There is also costumes that are $5 too but they are shit and only the most legit players get it. The only one worthwhile is Morrigan in an office shirt. Oh baby!

And guess what? You have to buy them again in Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3.

Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3

It was confirmed on July 20th of the same year that Capcom would fuck the cash cow even more. The result, UMVC3. Most people with common sense said, "Why the living shit did they do this?", while fanbois would pray to the glorious Osama Bin Ladin and say, "HOLLLLLEH SHHHIT! A TOTALLEH NEEEW GAYMEN EXPERRRRIENCE!!!11 TANKZ CAPCOM!!1 :DDDD". Overall, all you get is 12 new characters, half of which nobody gives a flying fuck about, new stages, which are remade old stages in plain MVC3, spectator mode, which should have been in MVC3 in the 1st place. And rebalancing. Isn't that what patches for? So really... the ONLY reason you should get this is so you can see Morrigan in a sexy office shirt. However, most learned to deal with this and is very hyped at the local shit tourneys.

New Characters

Once again, Cockcom decided to troll it's fans by inserting more people we do not know. Where is Megaman is a question that popped up after all 12 "fighters" were leaked. So here they are. Read and weep.

Marvel Characters:

Ghost Rider: Possibly either a complete BADASS or a heavy metal rock emo who whips himself and everybody who is guilty. Dormammu wishes he can be him.
Hawkeye: Taskmaster 2.0 is ready to launch. Pretty much a waste of a fucking slot. Only liked during the time the Avengers movie was out.
Doctor Strange: Former rich man turned gay wizard. Has late night dreams of Dormammu naked.
Rocket Raccoon: Yes. Read the name until you realize how fucking lame this sounds. A furry from space sent to protect the Bible, as if we care. If your wondering why the fuck Venom or Gambit are not in this, blame both this little shit and Furries. LOG TRAP! LOG TRAP!
Iron Fist: The unknown ultimate masturbater in Ryu's garbage ending.
Nova: Some unknown fag (GEE I WONDER WHY?) who flips burgers. Really. Search on Wikipedia.

Capcom Characters:

Firebrand: Demon that Arthur fucks every time he saves his princess. Plays like Wolverine with wings. For some reason, he speaks gibberish yet it gets translated in subtitles.
Strider Hiryu: The fanboi pick of this game. Yet NOBODY knows what game he is fucking from. Expect to face him in every match if you get this instead of Mortal Kombat 2011.
Frank West: Remember that fag from Dead Rising that thinks every fucking thing is FANNNTAZZZTIC? Well, he's in this.
Virgil: As if we need more Devil May Cry Yourself Asleep faggots amirite? What makes this shit worse is that Dante and Virgil are twins. Watch out, we got another overpowered fucker guys. Trish now looks forward to a threesome every day.
Nemesis: Yet another Resident Evil bitch. RE's very fucked up version of Captain America ( no joke ), who kills STARRRRRRSSSS agents. Capcom became butthurt that the little kiddies will get offended by his sheer butt fuck look in plain MVC3. But after some pot smoking on the house, Crapcom decided to release him and tell the kids to fuck themselves in the ass with a sledgehammer. Hulk + Rockets + Digusting as shit with wings Hyper = Nemesis.
Phoenix Wright: You heard me.... A FUCKING LAWYER. How he can fight is unknown to everybody, even Cockcom. OBJECTION!!!1!! Got Nerfed in a patch cause he is a total boss.

Balance

The balancing part is something alot of faggots look forward to in a "fighting" game such as this. During an interview, the lead whore of Capcom's buttfuckery, Seth Killan said they plan to do tweaking to the popular fuckers. Which is wrong. Wesker got even faster due HIS FUCKING SHADES and still retains his fuckable combos. Dante never got Nerfed got and a new buttfuck partner Virgil. Sentinal was still nerfed. Phoenix got nerfed till she dies in one hit. Ryu become Cyclops. MODOK is still not used, Iron Man lost alot of his offensive power ( Why? ), Wolverine uses Swiss Cheese ( no joke ), pretty much the only person who got buffed is Arthur. Who will still not be used. NOT AT ALL. And Jill, one of the least used people due to fucking DLC, (Guess what) became weaker. And Wesker and Virgil are stronger than Jesus on extreme steroids. Yep, great job Cockcom. If you want proof of this shit, watch the trailers. DEYY R STAGED YOU GUYZZZZ1!!!!!!11 :O

Gameplay

There are millions of ways a fag can play this. Examples are: Spammer, Noob, Pro, Average, Don't give a shit about it, Fucking Obsessed, etc. In order to win, destroy the other fucker anyway you like. It's ok if they rage like a baby.

Step 1 to MVC or UMVC success: Pick ~~any three of the bitches above.~~ Sentinel.
Step 2 to MVC or UMVC success: Pick a stage (like it matters)
Step 3 to MVC or UMVC success: Go ~~apeshit on the other player with them Hyper Combos and skills.~~ ROCKETPUNCH ROCKETPUNCH HYPER SENTINEL FORCE

To really show everybody's "teamwork", master the team air buttsex combo.

Also, Capcom decided to let you pimp yourself out with titles like a true Nigga, showing orgasms for your favorite people. ~~Plus events showing dangerous stunts (TEAM OF MODOK, OH SHIT MANN).~~ Oh never mind, that never made it back to UMVC3.

Then training to fuck with yourself in many various ways.

MODOK's Theme goes with Trolling

It finds out MODOK, the unused character, is an expert troll. People noticed this so they swiped his theme, put in a situation where trolling is there [Example:News flash about haxing, Movie trolling, etc], and thus, a semi-meme that is growing is born. It can either create nothing at all, or make a video lulzy as hell. Pretty much, it's Guile's theme goes with everything. Only more trollish, lulzy, and makes sense.

	“	If you think I've evolved beyond the joys of trolling, you thought wrong.	„

Trolling

Pick Doctor Doom, Magneto, and MODOK (Sentinal, Taskmaster, Chris, Arthur, Deadpool, and Iron Man work well too)
Find a lobby with smack talkers AKA porch-monkey wiggers
Hide in the corner and spam Plasma Beam, Disruptor, and other long-range attacks that do a shitload of damage
Beat his ass bad
Hear the sweet cussing of rage

Or you can just torment them joining a gangbang lobby and talk like this: "Dante sucks Wesker's tiny penis". Or send messages if you don't have a mic. That will surely start some fireworks. Soundboards work well too.

Another way is this:

Find a "pro" with a mic and lose to him.
Face him again and when at the Character selection, choose his 'Dream Team' (Most likely: Dante, Sentinal, Wesker)
Either by spamming or actually fighting, beat him with his own team
Let his rage commence

http://www.youtube.com/user/Miles923 Troll him and other "big" MVC3 video uploaders. Mostly people who commentate while playing.

Get creative.

Overall

Get it if you like fighting, boobs, trolling, and BADASS Marvel people you know and love (not MODOK). It's much better than hanging around with your deformed testicles all day playing Cock of Duty: Nigger Ops. But it won't matter cause this was a beta. And Black Ops is grandfather old.