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J. Neil Jednoralski

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This is the end result of letting your grandpa watch Fox News all day.

Meet J. Neil Jednoralski, age 65, from Salina, Kansas. Still on the Tea Party bandwagon (although he looks more like he's also on the Lemon Party bandwagon), this Disabled American Veteran's common sense is still M.I.A. in Vietnam. Fed up with the new social programs, Jednoralski though of a brilliant plan to arrest President Obama while he was in the Sunflower State.

The Ingenious Plan

Jednoralski was considering driving three and a half hours from his fallout bunker in Salina to Osawatome in Southeast Kansas. So patriotic was this man, he decided that he would need to bring his good friend the Second Amendment, and a fully loaded shotgun, to apply excessive force upon the black man.

Once there he would handcuff the President and place him under citizen's arrest on charges of being a Kenyan infiltrator. (Because there is nothing Kenyans love to do more than pose as Americans and become the President of the United States...except maybe show off at marathons.)

Neil had the perfect plan to take the President with him to the State Attorney's office in Topeka, two hours northwest. (Like nobody was going to chase him down or make him stop to pay the toll on I-70, amirite?)

This plan was ever so elegant and flawless! It had to be shared liberally on the Internets on the various social networking sites he participated in! Everyone seemed to like this idea...except the Secret Service.

The Predictable Results

On December 5, 2011, the Secret Service yet again had to show up at another white Red State American's house, take his computer and guns, laugh their asses off, gave his shit back, and told him if they ever saw his wrinkly old ass near the President, they would arrest him AND take his guns.

Butthurt by such a serious threat by the President's bodyguards, Jednoralski didn't feel the hole he dug himself was deep enough. So he revealed himself to the local media, and moaned about how the government was restricting his Second Amendment rights.

On December 8, 2011, Jednoralski returned to his post on Twitter demanding that the Kansas Attorney General stick up for him and griped about how the AG wasn't supporting his First Amendment rights. He also changed his story stating that he would NOT bring any guns but the Secret Service still threatened to arrest him for trespassing.

No doubt in the near future, he will ask Governor Samuel Brownback (R-KS) for support, despite the fact that Brownback got pwned by some kid on Twitter a few weeks ago.

Dox

The Salina Journal made his social networking habits, and much of his personal information, easy to view even without needing to visit any of these websites. All of that was made available in the video at the top of this page. No doubt the reporter is going to get a Pulitzer for his great journalism skills.

Interests

The list of his interests (publicly available on Facebook), reads like Keith Olbermann's wet dream. Here's the list of the ones that are most lulzy.

  • Flint Hills Tea Party
  • Goldline International, Inc.
  • Tim Huelskamp for Congress
  • Lee Modesitt
  • Morris for State Representative
  • Sarah Palin
  • American Majority
  • Americans for Prosperity
  • Republican National Committee
  • The Friends of the River Foundation
  • Conservative
  • Dr. John W. Adams DDS (Coincidence?)
  • Ancestry.com
  • Michele Fiore for AD 4
  • Take the Rush Limbaugh Poll
  • Sheriff Joe's posse delivers promised Obama surprise
  • Take the Sarah Palin Poll
  • No Labels
  • The Townhall.com Presidential Straw Poll
  • Zalno
  • USA God and Country Petition
  • The Tea Party
  • Impeach Obama
  • Americans Elect
  • Kansas State Legislature
  • Paula Priesse
  • What Do You Want to Ask the Candidates? - Fox News Video - Fox News
  • Mike Huckabee
  • Salina Makes Sense
  • CongressKS
  • Tea Party Chamber of Commerce
  • The Dinner Party to End All Dinner Parties
  • Salina Military Affairs Council
  • Tucson's Steakhouse Saloon & Grill
  • Dave Freeman
  • Wayne LaPierre’s NRA Membership Matters
  • Governor Scott Walker
  • Stand With Wisconsin
  • The Jim Anderson Program
  • Zalno
  • STOPBUILDING the ISLAMIC MOSQUE at GROUND ZERO
  • Greta Van Susteren
  • remove the group (soldiers are not heros) off of facebook
  • Libertarian Party
  • John Boehner
  • Kansas Jobs Plan 2011
  • George W. Bush
  • Operation Roger
  • Target Master Shooting Academy, LLC
  • Living Water International
  • Americans United to Repeal Socialized Medicine
  • Salina Post
  • RightChange
  • Billy Graham
  • Kansas Republican Party
  • Kansas State Rifle Association
  • Friends of the Salina Taxpayers
  • US Tea Party
  • Michele Bachmann
  • Michele Bachmann
  • Tea Party Patriots
  • St. Louis Tea Party
  • Joe Arpaio
  • Steve Hershey for Delegate
  • Jim Denning For Kansas
  • Ellen Janoski For Kansas State Representative, District 80
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Kansas State Sovereignty under the Tenth Amendment
  • FreedomWorks
  • Steve Penley
  • John Thune
  • Glenn Beck
  • Governor Jan Brewer
  • The Heritage Foundation
  • 1,000,000 Strong SUPPORTING Arizona Immigration Law SB1070
  • The Patriot Caucus
  • Operation: Can You Hear Us Now?
  • Can this Goat get more fans than Barack Obama?
  • Mark Levin
  • Sean Hannity
  • Political Integrity Now
  • Being Conservative
  • Patricia Lightner for Congress

See Also

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