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Hayley Williams
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May 27 2010, Hayley Williams of Paramore tweeted her tits. Welcome to the Vanessa Hudgens of 2010.
—The entire Internet, May 27, 2010 | ||
Who?
On May 27th, 2010, close to midnight, a certain christfag lead singer of Paramore attempted to send her boyfriend a nude picture out of wedlock. Apparently, the "Tweet" button and the "Send to Boytoy" buttons are way too close on her Blackberry 9000 (Courtesy of pic info), and she let loose her pancakes onto Twitter. Within ten minutes, /b/ had the pics and phone type; within the hour, last.fm was flooded with Misery Boobness as the mods and the bots quickly attempt to relocate and remove all of the images. Hayley herself quickly deleted her tweet claiming that she "got hacked."[1]
One thing to note was that within the sight of the ginger tots, Hayley and Paramore Twitter pages got a HUGE amount of followers of which they haven't seen in ages - mostly because no one knew who the FUCK Paramore was since like 2007 or some shit a long time ago.
Massive lulz and fapping did ensue, along with the requisite white knighting from fags intent on defending the honor of their waifu by attempting to disprove the veracity of the sweet, sweet titties. It wasn't long before some enterprising young men took it upon themselves to verify that, yes, indeed this is Hillary Willips Harley White who? Hayley Williams by tracking down a half dozen or so pictures in which she is wearing the same readily identifiable, albeit widely available at a Sears near you, necklace.
And thus the white knights were defeated and the dark armies of /b/ rode on, their tiny cocks erect and girded for war with the unspeakable hordes of good taste and technical virginity.
History
Some oldfags may remember Paramore as the teenagers that inadvertently cut From First to Last's "career" short when they got to headline for a day on Warped Tour '06 (low-quality video, unfortunately). While the actual reasoning behind the switch is sketchy, most figured it was because the promoters wanted more tits on stage and were tired of FFTL's constant bitching (also low-quality) during the whole tour. While the Emofags claimed it was one of their screaming twats getting throat cancer or some bullshit, most everyone involved with the tour and a shitload of fans of either band or in attendance know they were just butthurt and being successfully trolled off the tour for their shit-talking, faggotry, and terrible music. Not that this matters in 2010 or is relevant to Williams flashing her tits now, of course.
Band gets raped
On some recent date, two genuinely cool dudes left the band after they realized no one gave a fuck about them and only wanted Hayley's tits. This certified Paramore as complete sell-out pop shit. Way to go Hayley, you are now Britney Spears. It was later revealed by one of the guys who rage quit that not even band managers or labels gave a fuck about them.
— Hayley Williams | ||
For more ironilulz, their entire last album "Brand New Eyes" was about how happy they were about putting aside their differences and staying together as a "band." One of the rage quitters said that none of them felt like that at all, and in fact, they wanted to GTFO. Sick album, brah.
See Also
External Links
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Hayley Williams is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
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Hayley Williams is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |