Encyclopedia Dramatica:Thizzlehat Junction Center/Archive/6

New formatting template

holy shit look how gay this is

23:35, 1 November 2011 (CET)

On a side note, I tend to use this more than {{scrolltext}} because I think it looks better. 23:44, 1 November 2011 (CET)

Protect fucking everything, part 2

A long, long time ago, ED witnessed a massive and persistent page-move vandalism spree, and their solution was to protect fucking everything, and later, to remove page moving privileges. History is starting to repeat itself ([1], [2]), and it's best if we act now before other vandals start developing similar schemes. Fortunately, we now have better options than the original ED had in 2006. MediaWiki has matured since 2006, so we now have rate limits. We should also grant the "noratelimit" right to Editors. Rate limits don't prevent page-move vandalism, but it does mean that there's be fewer moves to revert, which would help save some users time and energy. Perhaps we should create a limit of 5 moves for 120 seconds would work fine. Are there any concerns, objections, or suggestion? --JuniusThaddeus 15:12, 2 November 2011 (CET)

^This, or at least tell the Grawp impersonator or to start using the correct edit summary :P 15:20, 2 November 2011 (CET)

More: [3], [4]. --JuniusThaddeus 20:28, 2 November 2011 (CET)

From personal experience I can say that having this thread here is just encouraging him and we should just discuss this via IRC. 20:42, 2 November 2011 (CET)

If we set rate limits for page moves, then I don't want it to take people by surprise. I rather be open about it. --JuniusThaddeus 22:49, 2 November 2011 (CET)

That is true, I was just speaking about giving attention to the vandal, he seems to be getting enough of it here. 22:57, 2 November 2011 (CET)

Just remove Move rights from ordinary ED users and grant them to only Editors, Sysops, and Bureaucrats.

Esther❥Nguyen 02:23, 3 November 2011 (CET)

That was one of the things I found annoying about the original ED. I didn't like depending on sysops and always asking for their help. I believe that most users would prefer some independence. --JuniusThaddeus 13:38, 3 November 2011 (CET)

Yeah, but how often do you need to move a page? I say restrict it to these so-called "editors." That way enough people will have it that they can use it at the request of others and it won't be in the hands of complete morons and vandals.-- -brxbrx 05:22, 4 November 2011 (CET)

I don't like the idea of technical rights being monopolized by a small group. There are currently only 21 editors, and a few of them aren't actively. --JuniusThaddeus 15:17, 4 November 2011 (CET)

Fair point, but still, how often do you need to move a page?-- -brxbrx 18:08, 5 November 2011 (CET)

(Outdent) Not much, but users should still have the freedom. Some people go through their entire lives without ever having to use a gun, but having the right to bear arms is still important. Taking away our right to move pages is the same as taking away our weapons. Yes, the moving ability can be used to hurt the wiki just as guns can be used to hurt people, but that ability and guns can be used for good. Gun control (rate limits for page moves) is what we should resort to, not robbing everyone of all their guns. --JuniusThaddeus 23:59, 5 November 2011 (CET)

Yeah... You're not really striking a chord with me by bringing up gun control. Now I keep thinking of pagemove as a deadly weapon too capable of easily wreaking havoc in the wrong hands-- -brxbrx 03:54, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Vandal

We have a move vandal right now, I move protected all of the portals and main pages. Editing remains unrestricted on the protected pages. Contact me if this needs to be changed, but for now, major pages are getting move protection.

20:44, 2 November 2011 (CET)

The thread above is about the same subject, srsly though, dftt 20:48, 2 November 2011 (CET)

It's Jeremy Hanson, pay no attention to him. I am going to change it so only admins can move pages when I get to my laptop. --zaiger (talk) 19:00, 3 November 2011 (CET)

No it's not, he'd have to be doing it at 4:00 AM for some of the earlier times, plus he quit being Grawp a long time ago. 19:30, 3 November 2011 (CET)

@Zaiger: Can you please consider my proposal in the section above. I don't want to rob users of their freedom to move pages around. --JuniusThaddeus 20:36, 3 November 2011 (CET)

Rob users their freedom? lol you act like it's a constitutional right to be able to move pages. --zaiger (talk) 14:55, 13 December 2011 (CET)

Terri Psiakis and Wikipedia

thecityweekly.com.au, wikipedia:Special:Contributions/203.32.65.132 – Wikipedia vandalism never becomes boring. --JuniusThaddeus 23:47, 2 November 2011 (CET)

From page 2:

"I’m sorry," I wrote on User:Trusilver's page, "I love you."

I was immediately blocked. And so I urge you to log on to User:Trusilver’s Wikipedia page and write, somewhere, "I love you." Remember: everyone is welcome to contribute to Wikipedia. Surely spreading Wikilove is constructive. As is advising someone sitting at a computer on the other side of the world that we all care.

--JuniusThaddeus 00:52, 3 November 2011 (CET)

I don't know who she is, but just out of reading the article and looking at her Twitter, she simply seems like a self-indulgent troll who thinks she is more important than she actually is. Unnotable really. Just my 2 cents. --Conexion 03:56, 3 November 2011 (CET)

Random page takes you to subpages

Can it be fixed so random page only takes you to mainspace articles? I think it would be a good idea-- -brxbrx 05:38, 4 November 2011 (CET)

Yep, it would just require $wgContentNamespaces to be changed. 05:46, 4 November 2011 (CET)

Ah, so you also know a bit about mediawiki software. Here I thought you were promoted just because you had a pretty face-- -brxbrx 05:48, 4 November 2011 (CET)

Well, that too 05:50, 4 November 2011 (CET)

This is still a problem.-- -brxbrx 17:37, 26 November 2011 (CET)

I looked over the documentation for $wgContentNamespaces and I don't think there is any way to resolve this, and even if it was, pages like Jahi/4444 would become excluded. ♥♥♥ 17:40, 26 November 2011 (CET)

New QOTN Suggestion

“	I've tried to suck my own dick before and then I realized that even though it would be my own dick, it's still a dick and that's pretty gay that I tried to put it in my mouth.	„
—A Jesus lookalike on childhood frivolities

Forthelulz 08:47, 22 November 2011 (CET)

In consideration of the mutual covenants set forth below, Employer agrees to hire Employee and Employee agrees to work for Employer as set forth in this Agreement.

1. SPECIAL DEFINITIONS

N/A

2. DESCRIPTION OF DUTIES

A. Name of Position The Employee shall be employed in the capacity of:

Junior Vice President of Western Domestic Traffic and Accounting

B. Essential Job Functions and Duties The essential job functions or duties of this position are as follows:

Western Domestic Traffic and Accounting

Employee shall also perform such other duties as are customarily performed by other persons in similar such positions, as well as such other duties as may be assigned from time to time by the Employer.

C. Duty of Loyalty and Best Efforts Employee shall devote all of his/her working time, attention, knowledge, and skills to Employer's business interests and shall do so in good faith, with best efforts, and to the reasonable satisfaction of the Employer. Employee understands that they shall only be entitled to the compensation, benefits, and profits as set forth in this Agreement. Employee agrees to refrain from any interest, of any kind whatsoever, in any business competitive to Employer’s business. The Employee further acknowledges they will not engage in any form of activity that produces a “conflict of interest” with those of the Employer unless agreed to in advance and in writing.

D. Place and Hours of Employment Employee agrees that their duties shall be primarily rendered at Employer’s business premises or at such other places as the Employer shall in good faith require. Full time service for the Employee is expected which requires a minimum of 12 hours per week, exclusive of vacation, or any other form of leave as described within this Agreement.

3. PERFORMANCE TERMS

Based on representations made by the Employee, as well as expectations of the Employer, the following performance terms are entered into: [See attachment “A”]

MUST MAKE CIGARSEX

The Employee understands that failure to reach said benchmarks or performance terms may result in reassignment, demotion or termination. Employee further understands that reaching these benchmarks or performance terms constitutes a reasonable and substantial condition of employment but does not in any way guarantee or promise continued employment.

4. COMPENSATION TERMS

A. Base Compensation Employee shall receive a [salary/wage] of 14 DONGCOPTERS per [YEAR] payable in equal installments on the [15th and last day] of each month. Employer shall deduct or withhold from compensation any and all sums required for federal income and social security taxes, as well as all state or local taxes now applicable or that may become applicable to Employee or Employer in the future.

B. Commission [As additional compensation for services to be rendered under this Agreement Employee shall be entitled to a commission income on the following basis:

NONE

[In the event that Employee receives an advance on commissions from Employer, any amounts so advanced shall be considered a “draw” and shall be deducted from any commissions earned in the future.][Also, place into here any specific language as to when a commission is “earned” and the effect of employee termination on pending deals:]

N/A

C. Exempt Status [Employee understands that at all times they is employed as a salaried/exempt employee and, therefore, he/she is not entitled to overtime wages. Employee shall not receive overtime compensation for the services performed under this Agreement, unless specifically agreed to in writing.]

E. Expense Reimbursement Employee[shall not] be entitled to reimbursement of any or all expenses authorized and reasonably incurred expenses incurred in the performance of the functions and duties under this Agreement. In order to receive reimbursement, Employee must timely provide Employer with an itemized account of all expenditures, along with suitable receipts therefore. Any expenditure over the dollar amount ofrequire prior written authorization. F. Stock Options, Bonuses, Profit Sharing, and Retirement

[Refer to those summary plan description documents or other documentation which outlines the payments of these benefits. To the extent they are the same as those of other employees simply refer to those provisions set forth in the Employee Handbook.]

G. Salary Adjustments [Salary] adjustments are based on the value contributed by Employee to Employer. While salary adjustments are primarily based on merit, Employer may at times adjust salaries depending on overall company performance, and/or the cost of living changes to salaries of similarity started employees in the company or industry.

C. Vacation Employer’s vacation policy is as follows: [Place in here the anticipated vacation schedule, if different from the Employee Handbook.] CIGARSEX after CIGARSEX CIGARSEX after CIGARSEX

[Please refer to the Employee Handbook for more specifics regarding vacation.] [Vacation may not be used until Employee has been employed for at least six (6) months. Vacation does not begin to accrue least six (6) months after the commencement of employment. Please refer to the Employee Handbook for more specifics regarding vacation. Vacation benefits should be used annually. There is a “cap” on accrual, which prevents it from accumulating beyond a total of _____ weeks. Employee must provide at least two (2) weeks notice of their intent to take vacation unless there are emergency circumstances.]

6. TERMINATION

A. “At Will” Employment Employee’s employment with Employer is “at will.” “At will” is defined as allowing either Employee or Employer to terminate the Agreement at any time, for any reason permitted by law, with or without cause and with or without notice.

7. COVENANTS

A. Non-Disclosure of Trade Secrets, Customer Lists and Other Proprietary Information

Employee agrees not to use, disclose or communicate, in any manner, proprietary information about Employer, its operations, clientele, or any other proprietary information, that relate to the business of Employer. This includes, but is not limited to, the names of Employer’s customers, its marketing strategies, operations, or any other information of any kind which would be deemed confidential or proprietary information of Employer including but not limited to:

ALL THINGS CIGARSEX RELATED VISUAL AUDIO OR OTHERWISE NOTED. (IE MSPAINT ILLUSTRATIONS)

Employee acknowledges that the above information is material and confidential and that it affects the profitability of Employer. Employee understands and that any breach of this provision, or of any other Confidentiality and Non-Disclosure Agreement, is a material breach of this Agreement.

To the extent Employee feels that they need to disclose confidential information, they may do so only after being authorized to so do in writing by Employer.

B. Non-Solicitation Covenant Employee agrees that for a period of 32 HOURS following termination of employment, for any reason whatsoever, Employee will not solicit customers or clients of Employer. By agreeing to this covenant, Employee acknowledges that their contributions to Employer are unique to Employer’s success and that they have significant access to Employer’s trade secrets and other confidential or proprietary information regarding Employer’s customers or clients.

C. Non-Recruit Covenant Employee agrees not to recruit any of Employer’s employees for the purpose of any outside business either during or for a period of 45 DAYS after Employee’s tenure of employment with Employer. Employee agrees that such effort at recruitment also constitutes a violation of the non-solicitation covenant set forth above.

D. Non-Compete Covenant

[Since this provision is unenforceable in many states, none is provided herein. Please check with your local employment law attorney.]

E. Adherence to Employer's Policies, Procedures, Rules and Regulations Employee agrees to adhere by all of the policies, procedures, rules and regulations set forth by the Employer. These policies, procedures, rules and regulations include, but are not limited to, those set forth within the Employee Handbook, any summary benefit plan descriptions, or any other personnel practices or policies or Employer. To the extent that Employer’s policies, procedures, rules and regulations conflict with the terms of this Agreement, the specific terms of this Agreement will control.

F. Covenant to Notify Management of Unlawful Acts or Practices Employee agrees to abide by the legal and ethics policies of Employer as well as Employer’s other rules, regulations, policies and procedures. Employer intends to comply in full with all governmental laws and regulations as well as any ethics code applicable to their profession. In the event that Employee is aware of Employer, or any of its officers, agents or employees, violating any such laws ethics codes, rules, regulations, policies or procedures, Employee agrees to bring forth all such actual and suspected violations to the attention of Employer immediately so that the matter may be properly investigated and appropriate action taken.

8. PROPERTY RIGHTS

A. Existing Customers or Clientele of Employee Employer agrees that existing customers or clients of Employee will [become the property of Employer][remain the property of the Employee] as the condition of employment. Existing clients of Employee are as follows:

B. New Customers or Clientele Generated While at Work Employee agrees that any customers or clientele generated by Employee pursuant to employment with Employer are the customers and clientele of the Employer and subject to the non-disclosure and non-solicitation covenants set forth above.

C. Records and Accounts Employee agrees that all those records and accounts maintained during the course of employment are the property of Employer, shall remain current and be maintained at Employer’s place of business.

D. Return Upon Termination Employee agrees that upon termination they will return to Employer all of Employer’s property, including, but not limited to, intellectual property, trade secret information, customer lists, operation manuals, employee handbook, records and accounts, materials subject to copyright, trademark, or patent protection, customer and Employer information, credit cards, business documents, reports, automobiles, keys, passes, and security devices.

E. Copyrights, Inventions and Patents Employee understands that any copyrights, inventions or patents created or obtained, in part or whole, by Employee during the course of this Agreement are to be considered “works for hire” and the property of Employer. Employee assigns to Employer all rights and interest in any copyright, invention, patents or other property related to the business of the Employer. [If Employee is working on patentable material it is recommended that the company enter into a separate patent assignment agreement.]

9. INDEMNIFICATION FOR THIRD PARTY CLAIMS

Employee hereby agrees to indemnify, defend, save, and hold harmless Employer, its shareholders, officers, directions, and other agents (other than Employee) from and against all claims, liabilities, causes of action, damages, judgments, attorneys’ fees, court costs, and expenses which arise out of or are related to the Employee’s performance of this Agreement, failure to perform job functions or duties as required, or result form conduct while engaging in any activity outside the scope of this Agreement, before, during or after the termination of this Agreement. Employee understands that this obligation of indemnification survives the expiration or termination of this Agreement. [It is common for employees to also request indemnification where the employer exposes them to a lawsuit. Have the employee bargain for this provision.]

10. MEDIATION AND BINDING ARBITRATION

Employer and Employee agree to first mediate and may then submit to binding arbitration any claims that they may have against each other, of any nature whatsoever, other than those prohibited by law or for workers compensation, unemployment or disability benefits, pursuit to the rules of the American Arbitration Association. Employee agrees to sign the attached Agreement to Mediate/Arbitrate claims as a conditions of employment.

11. LIMITATION OF DAMAGES

Employee agrees and stipulates that any remedies they may have for the breach of any employment related obligation, whether under law or by way of contract, shall be limited to the equivalent of six (6) months salary of Employee where allowed by law. This limitation is inclusive of any claims for special damages, general damage, compensatory damage, loss of income, emotional damage, or punitive damages.

12. ATTORNEYS’ FEES AND COSTS

Employee and Employer agree that should any action be instituted by either party against the other regarding the enforcement of the terms of this agreement, the prevailing party will be entitled to all of its expenses related to such litigation including, but not limited to, reasonable attorneys' fees and costs, both before and after judgment.

13. MISCELLANEOUS PROVISIONS

A. Accuracy of Representations Employee understands that any projections regarding the financial status or potential for growth of this Employer are matters of opinion only and do not constitute a legally binding representation. Employee agrees that they have had the opportunity to conduct due diligence of Employer and are satisfied with the representations that have been made.

B. Notices Employee agrees that any notices that are required to be given under this Agreement shall be given in writing, sent by certified mail, return receipt requested, to the principal place of business of the Employer or residence of the Employee as set forth herein.

C. Entire Agreement This Agreement represents the complete and exclusive statement of the employment agreement between the Employer and Employee. No other agreements, covenants, representations or warranties, express or implied, oral or written, have been made by the parties concerning their employment agreement.

D. The Effect of Prior Agreements or Understandings This Agreement supersedes any and all prior Agreements or understandings between the parties, including letters of intent or understanding, except for those documents specifically referred to within this Agreement.

E. Modifications Employee and Employer agree that this writing, along with those Agreements referred to within it, including, but not limited to, the Employee Handbook and [Non-Disclosure Agreement], constitutes the entirety of the Employment Agreement between the parties. Any modifications to this Agreement may only be done in writing and must be signed by [an officer] of Employer.

F. Severability of Agreement To the extent that any provision hereof is deemed unenforceable, all remaining provisions of this Agreement shall not be affected thereby and shall remain in full force and effect.

G. Waiver of Breach The waiver by Employer of a breach of any provision of this Agreement by Employee shall not operate as a waiver of any subsequent breach by the Employee. No waiver shall be valid unless placed in writing and signed by [an officer] of Employer.

H. Ambiguities Related to Drafting Employer and Employee agree that any ambiguity created by this document will not be construed against the drafter of same.

I. Choice of Law, Jurisdiction and Venue Employee agrees that this Agreement shall be interpreted and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of [California] and that should any claims be brought against Employer related to terms or conditions of employment it shall be brought within a court of competent jurisdiction within the county of [Orange, California]. Employee also consents to jurisdiction of any claims by Employer related to the terms or conditions of employment by a court of competent jurisdiction within the county of [Orange, California].

J. Submission to Drug Testing Employee agrees and understands that it is the policy of Employer to maintain a drug-free work place. Employee consents to a pre-hire drug test. Employee understands that Employer has the right, upon reasonable suspicion, to demand that Employee immediately undergo testing for the presence of illegal or inappropriate drug usage.

K. Statute of Limitations Employee has a one year statute of limitation for the filing of any requests for mediation, or arbitration, or for any lawsuit related to this Agreement or the terms and conditions of their employment. If said claim is filed more than one year subsequent to Employee’s last day of employment it is precluded by this provision, regardless of whether the claim had accrued at that time or not.

L. Attorney Review Employee warrants and represents that Employee in executing his Agreement has had the opportunity to rely on legal advice from an attorney of Employee’s choice, so that the terms of this Agreement and their consequences could have been fully read and explained to Employee by an attorney and that Employee fully understands the terms of this Agreement.

Employee’s Signature

Date

Employee’s Name Printed

BEEFRAVE

11-25-11

Company Representative

Date
by User:beefrave http://forum.encyclopediadramatica.ch/threads/heres-the-story-of-mewen-brown-in-full-detail.4620/page-2#post-134506

Masturb8r

Fix please

Okay. Go to this article, press F3, and search for the term "butthurt". Yeah. It was a great comeback the first four-hundred times it was used, doesn't anybody else think that it's getting a teeny-weeny-tinsy-winsy-bit-stale by this point? I thought so. Please remove something and replace it with *shock!!* -- original content. - Another n00b

Holy crap, you weren't kidding. Would replacing "butthurt" with various renditions of He was being a little bitch about it because he's a wrinkled sack of crusty ass matter be better? Forthelulz 01:15, 5 November 2011 (CET)

'Anally aggrieved'. Mr Jonzz 13:00, 5 November 2011 (CET)

I got an idea, why don't we make every article with a NPOV from now on? In fat we should remove such overuse of the word nigger in this article and overuse of cock in this article as well!

Yea, great idea faggot. Why are you still allowed to edit is beyond me. --CinoxFellpyre 17:58, 6 November 2011 (CET)

HAHAHA "BUTTHURT" LOLOL THE MORE TIMES I POST IT THE FUNNIER IT GETS. And you think that's the cutting edge of comedy? - Another n00b 20:04, 11 November 2011 (CET)

If it was still there, and your edits were reverted, obviously you're not realizing the point.

Here, lemme put it in simple words for you: Stop fucking with articles because they're not funny to you. --CinoxFellpyre 22:52, 11 November 2011 (CET)

Why, sorry for *shock!!*.... contributing!! - Another n00b 23:16, 11 November 2011 (CET)

Script kiddies wanted

We need someone to develop a script to replace all instances of the word "black person" with [[nigger]].

We also need scripts to replace these words:

Mexican with [[Spic]]

[[DAMN NIGGA]] with [[NO NIGGERS]]

Arab with [[Sandnigger]]

Jew with [[Jew]] or [[kike]]

Aboriginal with [[Aboriginal]]

Esther❥Nguyen 19:54, 5 November 2011 (CET)

But there's a problem. If I wrote a post as Hello arab, it would then come out as [[Special:Random|Hello Sandnigger]], which obviously doesn't work. - Another n00b 19:57, 5 November 2011 (CET)

It would only replace words without the brackets (aka this:[[]]). It wouldn't apply to that

Esther❥Nguyen 20:03, 5 November 2011 (CET)

Ok, thank you as I have no problem otherwise. So that's that cleared up then. - Another n00b 20:05, 5 November 2011 (CET)

A script for this would be easy, but would also fuck a lot of shit up. Repetition kills articles, so changing word choice should be done by hand. 00:19, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Agreed. I've just been replacing the offending words as I go along. Moarhate 17:30, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Do it by hand. When you do a mass find/replace like that it fucks up context. --zaiger (talk) 08:26, 13 December 2011 (CET)

Wikipedia is currently running a fundraiser e-begging campaign

Apparently, everytime you go to TOW, a huge ass banner appears on every fucking banner. Should we also place banners on this site as a gag?

Esther❥Nguyen 02:08, 6 November 2011 (CET)

We did that with the old iteration. Why not?-- -brxbrx 03:52, 6 November 2011 (CET)

I'm not seeing them, but it is that time of year again. Does anybody have the "HOLY SHIT IT'S JIMBO" banner from ED.com? 06:32, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Heres a few banners I made myself:

Recreated from memory from original ED banner

Also recreated from memory

Also, heres an exploitable Jimbo image for those who want to make their own banners:

Esther❥Nguyen 08:18, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Also, If you guys are gonna post the banners on the sitenotice, can you make the images to change/rotate every hour or so?

Esther❥Nguyen 08:37, 6 November 2011 (CET)

That would require RandomImage but I'm sure I could hassle somebody in power into installing it. Also, what do you guys think of writing a tl;dr essay to parody Jimbo's? I'll do it if you guys think it's a good idea. 17:15, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Meepsheep, can't we use the following instead?

<choose>
<option>[[File:Image01.png]]</option>
<option>[[File:Image02.png]]</option>
<option>[[File:Image03.png]]</option>
</choose>

--JuniusThaddeus 17:21, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Totally, I just didn't know we had RandomSelection/it came with MediaWiki. I should have checked that first :P 17:25, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Lol sauce code

<choose>
<option>[[File:Givesomethingback.jpg|link=Donate.html]]</option>
<option>[[File:Holy shit jimbo.png|center|800px|link=Donate.html]]</option>
<option>[[File:Jimbo watching you.png|center|800px|link=Donate.html]]</option>
<option>[[File:Jimmy money banner.png|center|800px|link=Donate.html]]</option>
<option>[[File:Wikipedo banner.png|800px|link=Donate.html]]</option>
<option>[[File:Jimmy new boat.png|800px|link=Donate.html]]</option>
<option>[[File:Azn jimbo banner.png|800px|link=Donate.html]]</option>
<option>[[File:Jimbo slap banner.jpg|800px|link=Donate.html]]</option>
</choose>

How it would look:

Copy+paste on MediaWiki:Sitenotice. Links to Donate.html. Also, Meepsheep, if ur gonna make the TL;DR parody essay, place it on Donate.html

Esther❥Nguyen 17:55, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Vinland likes this. - Vinland 20:15, 6 November 2011 (CET)

I'm not donating a single penny

It's funny. ED always complains about how jews are money-grabbing cunts,
and now you're asking for money? Damn kikes. - Another n00b 19:30, 6 November 2011 (CET)

It would be different if advertisers didn't care about the negative PR points they would gain by funding us. --JuniusThaddeus 23:58, 6 November 2011 (CET)

Not to mention the fact running ED = contributing entirely to the wiki, not kicking back and watching people add content for you as you cash in from their hard work. Learn the difference. - Vinland 00:00, 7 November 2011 (CET)

Also, on the Jews, ED is satire you thick shit-- -brxbrx 00:43, 7 November 2011 (CET)

I know that, do you think I'm fucking stupid or something? - Another n00b 09:04, 7 November 2011 (CET)

Yes, yes I do.-- -brxbrx 14:50, 7 November 2011 (CET)

When I say I hate jews and they're all money hungry kikes who are ruining our economy, I mean it, god damn it! Forthelulz 12:40, 7 November 2011 (CET)

You have just broken a taboo hehe. By the way, me niether. --Polmas 15:24, 7 November 2011 (CET)

This wouldn't be so bad, if it wasn't automatically set to $250. I know you're going to reply "YAS BUT U CUD OF JUST CHANGED IT HERPA DERPA", well what kind of person would expect one to give that much to any sort of site by default? I wouldn't even give twice the small that amount! - Another n00b 16:47, 7 November 2011 (CET)

$19.99 = $250, apparently.

Actually it's set to $19.99 by default, and most people who donate DO donate a couple hundred dollars at a time. ED needs money to stay alive, you are the one who is being the jew. Fucking KIKE. --zaiger (talk) 11:04, 22 November 2011 (CET)

@Zaiger: [5] – We've changed the page after wepay dropped us. Another n00b was referring to the wepay version of the page. --JuniusThaddeus 15:33, 22 November 2011 (CET)

Elvis 16:41, 22 November 2011 (CET)

@Zaiger: Check the date of my fortnight-old comment. That was posted when it WAS charging $250, were you completely oblivious to that? - Another n00b 18:35, 22 November 2011 (CET)

Doesn't make you any less of a kike. Also no we weren't charging anything, donating is 100% voluntarily. If someone wants to spend their own money to help us pay the bills then why is that any of your concern? Seems to me this whole thing is just because you are SO MAD because people were being mean to you and the admins wouldn't help when you tattled. --zaiger (talk) 22:53, 22 November 2011 (CET)

Why the f* do we need so much money to run this site? Two weeks ago you asked for 600 dollars, now this. What is going on? --Polmas 22:57, 22 November 2011 (CET)

The site is $600 a month. --zaiger (talk) 23:01, 22 November 2011 (CET)

I'm just sorry but

Could some sort of intervention be dealt with this shit. It's an internet sissy fight that is
going fuck all no-where, with no rhyme or reason to it. I am just asking for the community to solve this dispute. I hope this is not allowed to esculate any further. - Another n00b 23:04, 9 November 2011 (CET)

get on irc fgt Moarhate 23:41, 9 November 2011 (CET)

Hey, thanks for the memories.

My daughter is on the Jailbait page. I won't tell you which one, because I want it kept so that my fellow like-minded pedophiles at ED who prefer incest for its relative safety can feel empowered and horny. My girl is a grade AAA piece of ass and I want guys to see her and know how hawt she is and think about her and never have her. She's mine, guys. If a girl ain't good enough for her family, she ain't no good for no one else, and damn, she is good. Buster Hyman 00:48, 10 November 2011 (CET)

Is it Megaslut.jpg? She maeks me feel all funny in my tummy; if so "Well done your sperm!" I say. Mr Jonzz 00:58, 10 November 2011 (CET)

OWS

owned. - Vinland 01:07, 10 November 2011 (CET)

he did a follow up to this vid too, I think it was last week... little old Moarhate 02:25, 10 November 2011 (CET)

wikipedia:Occupy_hand_signals – Wikipedia has a article on these hand signals. Perhaps we should make one of our own. --JuniusThaddeus 03:16, 10 November 2011 (CET)

If you want to come over as COLOSSAL homosexual then go for it! "Up twinkles"? Jesus. Mr Jonzz 03:35, 10 November 2011 (CET)

Some good lulz could be had by nominating the twinkles article for deletion. Moarhate 16:37, 11 November 2011 (CET)

Relevant update: OWS just took a long shit on Bachmann's campaign. If enough OWSfags get pissed at her, she might lose support more quickly. - Vinland 18:42, 11 November 2011 (CET)

How is she going to convince Iraq to pay back the US? Obama plans to withdraww all US troops out of Iraq before the 2012 election. Is she going to threaten to invade Iraq a second time and plunder their treasury? Is she going to threaten to severe all financial aid (If you don't pay us a lot, we won't pay you a little)? What leverage does she have against Iraq? You don't enter a negotiation without any leverage. --JuniusThaddeus 19:46, 11 November 2011 (CET)

Heh, this comment really clarified the clusterfuck that is the middle-east in general. Seriously, a war to "liberate" the "oppressed" people of Iraq? 1: Who really gives a fuck? 2: Why not Iran, Egypt, Libya (ohwait), Syria, et al? Moarhate 15:30, 14 November 2011 (CET)

Portals

Ok, we have a list of portals up for grabs again. If you see you portal on this list and you wish to keep it, just throw a comment here, else these should be considered free. This list was made from looking at the conditions of portals, and noting updates and redlinks on the page.

Portal:Anonymous
Portal:BNA
Portal:Faggotry
Portal:Gaming
Portal:LiveJournal
Portal:Trolls
Portal:YouTube
Portal:Music - (Zaiger said it's up for grabs but please ask him first)

06:05, 10 November 2011 (CET)

I'll be happy to work with the music portal. Just let me know what all is involved. Zaiger let me know.- "Pentatonics 19:38, 17 November 2011 (CET)"

I would say yes but you haven't made an edit in weeks and there is no next page button on your contribs page. Change that and I will have no problem letting you maintain it. --zaiger (talk) 17:35, 7 December 2011 (CET)

No problemo, I'll get to it. I keep getting side tracked with these pesky law school apps. --Pentatonics Fuck i forgot the timestamp thingy 08/12/11 fixed---Pentatonics 17:33, 8 December 2011 (CET)

Tru Playa

I stumbled across this Jack-the-Lad the other day whilst foraging for a fap; if any of you homos have trouble in the 'Laydeeez' department I suggest asking this guy how it's done. http://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/699572/me_and_my_friends.html http://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/699571/me_and_my_girlfriend_rachel.html

Recognise Game. Mr Jonzz 12:58, 10 November 2011 (CET)

Pornstar reads to first graders

You reap what you sow.

Where the fuck was she when I was in school?

Parents get trolled big time. Now this is news. I seriously hope the kids google her name or something later on, that sort of reaction would be sweet. "Mommy look! Can you tell me what those 5 guys are putting inside this lady? She read me a nice story at school today." - Vinland 15:39, 11 November 2011 (CET)

Lol Sasha Grey is really moving up her moral compass. --zaiger (talk) 23:05, 22 November 2011 (CET)

Westboro Church Covers Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veNQwzW8ays DEAR GOD Forthelulz 21:41, 11 November 2011 (CET)

p.s. Taekesi article needs serious cleanup. He attempted to fuck it up again.

Hello Everyone

I am a fucktarded little cunt. I am a moronic, idiotic, stupid little
pretentious twat who needs to shut the fuck up, I need to learn how to be funny, and not just a libtarded faggot. - Another n00b 19:25, 12 November 2011 (CET)

I don't know that this is better than receiving the banhammer. The being banned builds character dude. Moarhate 15:42, 14 November 2011 (CET)

At least you know. --zaiger (talk) 22:39, 22 November 2011 (CET)

When did Amurka become Australia?

Article pretty much sums it up. Moarhate 18:30, 16 November 2011 (CET)

article ideas/contributions

In our quest to destroy everything OhShit stands for, I've started work on this. If you know of any process on how something evolved to become a rampant meme from a simple beginning, kindly post it in this article. - Vinland 15:06, 20 November 2011 (CET)

I am now leaving

Check this here link: Read this.
Goodbye and fuck off. - Another n00b 21:42, 22 November 2011 (CET)

Translation: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY NEED MONEY TO KEEP THE SITE ALIVE WHEN I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE INTERNET WORKS AND I THINK IT SHOULD BE FREE!!! --zaiger (talk) 22:37, 22 November 2011 (CET)

Oh now I see. This is what made him so butthurt, everything else is just nerd rage. --zaiger (talk) 23:09, 22 November 2011 (CET)

bye-bye billy ♥♥ 00:40, 23 November 2011 (CET)

“	Encyclopedia dramatica is shit. Uncyclopedia, uncyclopedia for fuck's sake is funnier than you.	„

This tells me all I need to know about this person. Dys 00:53, 23 November 2011 (CET)

Oh hey, it's a new entry for the flounce article! - Vinland 13:36, 23 November 2011 (CET)

The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be. Let's all go back to writing articles on selected furries and why they suck. We don't have enough of those yet. Farewell, O bringer of the lulz, you shall be missed by all who give a rat's ass about restoring this once great site. Forthelulz 07:17, 25 November 2011 (CET)

Holy Fuck. I haven't seen such a successful troll in a while. Someone deserves an award.<- moarhate 19:07, 25 November 2011 (CET)

lolz. Dys 03:08, 29 November 2011 (CET)

What I Want For Christmas

A new one of these... Dys 00:53, 23 November 2011 (CET)

No. You'll shoot your eye out. --SadMonkey 04:40, 1 December 2011 (CET)

More funds need

Has there been any progress unlocking the money everybody had sent to Cleary? Also, has anyone considered keeping a budget (I'm looking at you, zaiger)? This would make for a good example. It would really help to ensure the user base's confidence, and maybe help to plan things ahead.-- -brxbrx 03:51, 23 November 2011 (CET)

We have never made more in a month than our server bills are. We get about $500 a month in donations, and the total bills are for our 7 servers is about $600. Whatever we are short we end up paying out of pocket. If someone could get us hosted on Wikia so we could have a $125 hosting bill too I would appreciate it.--zaiger (talk) 04:06, 23 November 2011 (CET)

I doubt they would ever host us, lol ♥♥ 04:17, 23 November 2011 (CET)

I was just wondering (I wouldn't have asked if you'd posted a financial report... ;)). But what about the money everybody pitched at Ryan Cleary, in the beginning?-- -brxbrx 04:09, 23 November 2011 (CET)

We have lost literally thousands of dollars to card processing vendors who have dumped us while we had money in their accounts. I have no idea what happened to it, it probably got returned back to the people who donated it. I am not the one with the checkbook so I couldn't say. --zaiger (talk) 04:15, 23 November 2011 (CET)

I don't know that I ever got my five dollars back (although I can't remember if I donated that money then or later). Man, that sucks. Hopefully, I'll get a job soon, and then I can fork some cash over. This site rocks-- -brxbrx 04:21, 23 November 2011 (CET)

lol thanks. We may not be the most organized but ED is very important to us and we do everything in our power to make sure it stays up. If we wanted to make money off of it we would have a million porn ads and sell Tshirts and stuffed Pedobears. --zaiger (talk) 04:35, 23 November 2011 (CET)

I don't see the problem with this. Moarhate 16:00, 23 November 2011 (CET)

Ads would be a good idea, but I doubt that we could find respectable, trustworthy advertisers, and even if we do, our enemies would complain and nag to them until they drop us. Donating is basically the only option we have. --JuniusThaddeus 16:54, 23 November 2011 (CET)

You seriously have me searching for someone that will produce stuffed pedobears now. Moarhate 17:15, 23 November 2011 (CET)

Desu Toys makes a stuffed Pedobear. --zaiger (talk) 01:02, 25 November 2011 (CET)

I think selling t-shirts from some crappy e-store (cafepress, etc) as suggested wouldn't hurt. ♥♥ 17:47, 23 November 2011 (CET)

This. Even if it might fail, anything gained in the process should help out. Explore all options and we'll help keep the site up with them until they're exhausted. Time time time. - Vinland 17:51, 23 November 2011 (CET)

I bought a t-shirt from the old iteration. It's a pretty cool shirt. I wear it. Also, it's American Apparel so it's quite flattering.-- -brxbrx 21:09, 23 November 2011 (CET)

I made another banner

I totally lol'd when I saw this

So I had to make this:

Can someone add it for me? I don't have time to figure out the autochanging thing. --zaiger (talk) 19:48, 23 November 2011 (CET)

Done ♥♥♥ 19:54, 23 November 2011 (CET)

lol brandon

Elvis 01:24, 30 November 2011 (CET)

Oh, exploitable? I'm not good at this :( -- Edgeworth E. Euler 04:18, 30 November 2011 (CET)

Here, use this too.

I just laughed so hard at both of those.--zaiger (talk) 16:59, 7 December 2011 (CET)

Mr Jonzz 08:57, 10 December 2011 (CET)

How much money do you assholes need?

I am rich and beautiful. State how much you need to keep this website up for another month. I'll probably get tired of it after that. Buster Hyman 01:16, 24 November 2011 (CET)

About $600? -- Edgeworth E. Euler 23:51, 24 November 2011 (CET)

q

(On the subject of conservipedia)

roidsage: it will be about as sucessful as raiding ed — Preceding comment added by Roidsage (talk • contribs), who is too much of a fucking retard to sign their own posts. IT'S FOUR TILDES (~~~~), NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!

Yu are all my favourite internettings

I haven't been on ED a lot lately, and this banner up top about ED's financial situation is a little unnerving. While I am sure things will work out (ED is, after all, the proverbial cockroach after a nuclear fallout) I still think I should show you all something in case I don't get the chance again.

I threw together a shitty little animation last year using content adapted from ED's page on Christmas, and set it to some gay but soothing holiday music.

I hope this will not only entertain you, but remind you why ED exists, and what we fight for: the ambitious, chaotic idea known as lulz.

I wish you all the best. Happy Holidays, and long live ED.

TylerRosenow º Ӕ talk º ✉ 23:58, 25 November 2011 (CET)

Beautiful ;_;. And there is no need to worry about ED, even if we go down, it'll be temporary. ♥♥♥ 00:02, 26 November 2011 (CET)

this is funny when you think of ED as erectile dysfunction. <- moarhate 02:08, 27 November 2011 (CET)

Very nice. And don't worry about us going down, ED is on a constant uphill struggle to collect the monthly server costs, but in the end we always end up doing it. For every 1 ignorant asshole who complains about us asking for money there are 2 true lulz patriots who understands that ED runs wholly on donations. The ignorant assholes are just usually a lot louder. --zaiger (talk) 09:22, 26 November 2011 (CET)

you're one of the best Tyler. -hipcrime 22:16, 28 November 2011 (CET)

When there's a spelling error brandished on the main page

it reinforces the "ED is made up of 12-year-olds" libel-- -brxbrx 07:39, 26 November 2011 (CET)

... ♥♥♥ 07:57, 26 November 2011 (CET)

i norite, itts soo ghey. ~O b l i q u e 08:06, 26 November 2011 (CET)

Ok... what is the spelling error? --zaiger (talk) 09:23, 26 November 2011 (CET)

There is no apostrophe in the "won't" on the giant appeal for donations. (I'm guessing that's what he means) TylerRosenow º Ӕ talk º ✉ 10:25, 26 November 2011 (CET)

Oh wait. "Sometimes a person's blind rage gets in the way of their rational though."

>in the way of their rational though. >rational though. >though.

TylerRosenow º Ӕ talk º ✉ 10:28, 26 November 2011 (CET)

That was it. Probably should have pointed it out. But seriously, it reflects poorly on us-- -brxbrx 15:53, 26 November 2011 (CET)

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/won't http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/wont Mr Jonzz 14:50, 29 November 2011 (CET)

The "rational though" was my mistake. I am a very sloppy typer, I am sorry to have triggered your autism. Next time let us know what the misspelling is so we can fix it. --zaiger (talk) 17:09, 7 December 2011 (CET)

A Message From Sir Lulzy Trollington III

	“	Look at your screen. Where are you? You're on the internet, browsing for lulz. Look at ED. Now look at Uncyclopedia. You've got 2 choices and only 1 can provide the lulz. Look at Uncyclopedia again. ED is now diamonds.	„

- SirLulzyTrollington 08:17, 26 November 2011 (CET)

And how it ended?

And finally, how was the campaign for buying hosting for 1 year? how it ended? 卐卐卐 17:41, 26 November 2011 (CET)

Yes, exactly, how DID ended? SirLulzyTrollington 23:39, 26 November 2011 (CET)

An important question indeed. How IT ended? - Vinland 01:56, 27 November 2011 (CET)

I'm curious how did end. <- moarhate 02:06, 27 November 2011 (CET)

lmao anyway, how did ended then. 卐卐卐 19:58, 27 November 2011 (CET)

It had done with then and then they had and then did and pcikels!!! SirLulzyTrollington 04:01, 28 November 2011 (CET)

QOTN?

Perhaps we could take a non-internets road with the next QOTN. I think ED's history of lolsuits from butthurt faggots validates it.

	“	Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.	„
	—Mark Twain

TylerRosenow º Ӕ talk º ✉ 08:28, 27 November 2011 (CET)

I'm sorry, but please read this message, okay?

Hello, Another_n00b here. I beg you to read this, as I see not only yesterday's POTN but also three QOTN's are based off of my leave message. I just want to say this, I plead you to remove them. I am scared that it will ruin my online reputation, with people knowing me as a "lolcow" (what a fucking stupid 13 year-old boyism). I do not care you perma-banned me. I do not care that you rewarded the person who trolled me, "KrouseMD". I do not even care that people defaced my userpage. But what I do care about is that you publicly mock me in front of everyone who reads encyclopedia dramatica. You may be snickering, laughing at me, but I don't give a fuck. This will not be tolerated. And I'm not going to vandalise or anything like that, that would only make it worse. I'm hoping you will be the better man and remove them, because honestly there are probably much funnier quotes to add.

I don't want to be associating with you.
I hope you take this into account.
With , banned user.
P.S: The only reason why I posted here is because I get redirected to kittens when going to the EDF.
- The Onlooker 11:21, 27 November 2011 (CET)

Holy shit, if this is legit I'm digging up everything about this guy.^ - Vinland 12:57, 27 November 2011 (CET)

If you want a positive online image and reputation, then here's some advice: The only winning move is not to play. If you join the Internet, you better have thick skin, because you're eventually going to do or say something that makes you look as if you were an idiot. I've made pretty of mistakes, I've said pretty of stupid things. The thing I hate about Web 2.0 are the people who whine about their online reputations. Did you believe that you could become infamous and respected by trolls by joining ED? --JuniusThaddeus 16:04, 27 November 2011 (CET)

Someone call the waaambulance please. 卐卐卐 16:09, 27 November 2011 (CET)

Mother of god..."online image?" You give a shit about that? I was one of the most infamous gaia trolls of all time, meaning that I got all sorts of "rude comments" about everything you can think of, but not one fuck was given because I'm aware that it is indeed the internet. What good will "online image" ever do for you? Can you tell your boss "People like me on the internet, give me a raise?" Nope. Can you tell your kids "People liked me on the internet" without sounding like a faggot? Nope. You've got problems man, what the hell. SirLulzyTrollington 04:07, 28 November 2011 (CET)

You fail at the internet :( ~O b l i q u e 06:43, 28 November 2011 (CET)

Someone change the header to "More material for QOTN". ♥♥♥ 06:57, 28 November 2011 (CET)

Seems an awful long quote, but we'll manage. <3 ~O b l i q u e 07:12, 28 November 2011 (CET)

Maybe if he stopped cybering on wikifur's irc long enough, he could pop into #ed and "plead his case" as it were. --KrouseMD 10:38, 28 November 2011 (CET)

Uh...sorry, but even that won't work. Even if you choose to not play the game, that won't stop anyone else from playing the game ~as~ you. One really fun thing I like doing is tracking down companies that do "Internet background checks" on their employees. I make a list of every single person who works in their HR department and then I run around posting online ~as~ them, painting them up in all ~sorts~ of colorful ways. So that if anyone ever searches for ~their~ name they'll come up as a hermaphroditic Nazi babyfur! Yes, yes I am a magnificent bastard. --Onideus 11:31, 28 November 2011 (CET)

Mr Jonzz 15:17, 29 November 2011 (CET)

You poor faggot. You fail at everything. ^{^{Are you butthurt?}} _{BAWWW here.} 09:48, 1 December 2011 (CET)

Holy shit, the lolcow that just keeps on giving. <- moarhate 22:53, 4 December 2011 (CET)

POTN suggestion.

卐卐卐 20:01, 27 November 2011 (CET)

Yes. SirLulzyTrollington 05:23, 28 November 2011 (CET)

Here's some suggestions: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.306745896021896.98589.100000594643800&type=1&l=743bd856cc :D

Some of those have probably been used before, I just randomly pulled 101 images out of my "incoming" folder. There's also like 10,000+ images in all my various other albums that probably have good POTN potential, especially the Christmas ones, like nyah (Christmas shitters): http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=179841125379041&l=0291b16301

And also nyah (creepy Christmas): http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.179809948715492.46919.100000594643800&type=1&l=1bd20654f0

The religious albums also have real funny stuff too. --Onideus 10:14, 28 November 2011 (CET)

Possible Vidya Of The Nao?

Seriously. SirLulzyTrollington 19:28, 28 November 2011 (CET)

They could have done it with Gin and Juice-- -brxbrx 02:21, 29 November 2011 (CET)

Crank dat gin and juice! "That's a crank." SirLulzyTrollington 03:13, 29 November 2011 (CET)

Dear God

SirLulzyTrollington 15:38, 29 November 2011 (CET)