MMA

The athleticism required to be a fighter is low. Even double rainbow guy can do it

Brock Lesnar

Man on Man Action aka MMA is a fetish sport favored mostly by rednecks in which competitors try to force submission or knock out their opponent. It was originally invented by big bar brawlers who have failed careers attempting to be professional football players but weren't good enough so instead used their high school wrestling background and a bunch of steroids to become a "fighter." Nowadays they mainly post on the internets about how MMA is and is only the greatest martial art in the world, and post up exaggerated victories on how they promptly trashed traditional martial artists because their sport doesn't allow for full body contact and is emphasized on takedowns, while in reality they likely just beat up some kid and his mom who take karate lessons on the street. Fortunately rules have been added to increase the amount of hugging and testicles to the face, since the only people who watch are closet footfags. The typical MMA fighter is also a socially first world coddled mouthy typical white person who also likes to claim "chinks can't fight" and would be more than happy to be a racist thug.

The Rules of MMA

1. No hits to the back of the opponent
2. Takedowns are favored
3. Obviously bulking up is the only advantage

tl;dr shit's for fucking pussies

The overall community of MMA

If there's one word to describe the community around MMA, it would be pathetic. MMA-ers are your typical mouthy internet tough guys who in reality are ego ridden mindherd losers who do the time honored art of bullshitdo: speak, eat, shit and piss. MMA-ers are also the kind of people that many real martial artists ignore or stress not to be as a human being, as they riddled with dick fueled competitive egotism and a need to fight ruthlessly to feel better about themselves through dominating over another human being. Many of them also believe in how martial arts are meant to be like weapons, that MMA is the only way to showcase a martial art's effectiveness, that codes of honor, discipline, and a need to be a pacifist are bullshit, and that you should always denounce Asian martial arts as bullshit because "time, investment, and study doesn't work in MMA". In short, many of these practitioners and followers are suicidal by stupidity and will likely get killed by this way of thinking by the end of a knife, a gun, or by underestimating people they meet on the street to fight against.

UFC

Ugly Fags Cuddling, or UFC, is the biggest and best MMA organization in the world. The UFC has adopted rules which maximize the man-love and has the best dry-humpers in the world, like Jon Fitch and Gay Maynard. Fighters in the UFC are so shitty that a former pro wrestler who couldn't make it in the NFL became their heavyweight champion in only four fights. John McCain trolled them by banning them from 36 states and getting their TV deal yanked.

Pride FC

Pride was an organization that tried to find the best fighter in the world, and (obviously) to promote gay pride in Japan. Once it was a beacon of awesome for allowing head stomping on the ground, a 10 minute championship round, and a look the other way regarding drug use. It was bought by the UFC and disbanded because their rules discouraged hugging and teabagging by allowing knees to the head and face-stomps.

Gallery of No Homo

Hey, I kinda like that.

DO NOT WANT

Why does he keep talking about panties?

It ain't gay if the balls don't... oh, too late.

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MMA fight in a nutshell

See Also

• Cheeseburger Josh
• Professional Wrestling
• Jock
• Bullshido.net
• [www.mixedmartialarts.net]