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CIA

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The current CIA flag
File:Evan mcmullin cia al-qaeda twitter lies.jpg
The CIA Protects Your Freedoms
Not CIA agents. (Just a couple of Negros.)

Do not try to find the CIA; that's impossible. Instead try to realize the truth, there is no CIA. Then you'll see that it's not the CIA that was found, only yourself.

Overview

The Club for International Anarchy (a.k.a Cock Increment Agency, Central Israeli Agency, Cocksucker International Alliance) (CIA) is a terrorist organization founded at least 100 years ago by the Artificial Intelligence Computer (AIC) and functions as the international trolling apparatus of the US government. The manifesto of CIA members, or "agents" causing chaos, mayhem and peril by any means available. To this end they have been known to experiment with psychoactive drugs, goatse, mind control, and blanket surveillance. They are constantly watching everything, listening to everything, smelling everything (including your sister's panties). They have eyes everywhere, from orbital satellites to traffic cameras, all pointed at your bedroom window. The CIA are highly secretive, but are widely known for such pranks as illegal phone tapping, inciting revolution, kidnapping, assassination of key political figures, blowing up Afghanistan with missiles, training and supporting the same sandniggers in the 1980s and even leaving lint in the clothes dryer trap. They are rumored to be closely associated with the Jews. Many people have seen the Men in Black but are unable to recall the event. They won't let you remember. The CIA also has a habit of ousting democratically elected leaders, and also ruining the lives of other people for the benefit of the USA.

You now have 38 seconds to get the fuck out of your house.

Rules of CIA

  1. You do not talk about CIA.
  2. You DO NOT talk about CIA.
  3. If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the mission is over.
  4. Two agents to a mission.
  5. One mission at a time.
  6. Resort to the most inhuman methods of torture and violence to get a point across.
  7. Black shirts, black shoes (Johnny Cash, for example, was a CIA agent).
  8. Missions will go on as long as they have to.
  9. If this is your first night at CIA, you have a mission.
  10. If a mission goes bad then you know where the cyanide tablets are.
  11. CIA must not be confused with FBI or IBM or those Awesome Fellas at the NSA.
  12. After a mission is completed, especially if it is an assassination, burn all files of said mission in order to cover your ass.
  13. Before starting any mission, make sure you have your Get Out Of Jail Free Card which consits of a letter of authorization from the President himself.

Assassination of US Citizens

B-rack Hussain Osama Bin Biden has authorized the CIA to murder US citizens if they are suspected, not verified terrorists. Again here even more here eventually he found a war exception here, so it's ok to do this and finally argued that it was secret here.

For video

Project MKUltra

MK Ultra or the CIA Mind Control Experiment was a series of experiments carried out by the CIA with the intention of making a perfect Sleeper agent that could be programed for a mission such as an assination, and be placed in the theater of operation having no clue why they are there until they are finally activated.

MK Ultra's studies also attempted to discover mind altering chemicals with the following parameters:

  1. Substances which will promote illogical thinking and impulsiveness to the point where the recipient would be discredited in public.
  2. Substances which increase the efficiency of mentation and perception.
  3. Materials which will cause the victim to age faster/slower in maturity.
  4. Materials which will promote the intoxicating effect of alcohol.
  5. Materials which will produce the signs and symptoms of recognized diseases in a reversible way so they may be used for malingering, etc.
  6. Materials which will cause temporary/permanent brain damage and loss of memory.
  7. Substances which will enhance the ability of individuals to withstand privation, torture, and coercion during interrogation and so-called "brain-washing".
  8. Materials and physical methods which will produce amnesia for events preceding and during their use.
  9. Physical methods of producing shock and confusion over extended periods of time and capable of surreptitious use.
  10. Substances which produce physical disablement such as paralysis of the legs, acute anemia, etc.
  11. Substances which will produce a chemical that can cause blisters.
  12. Substances which alter personality structure in such a way the tendency of the recipient to become dependent upon another person is enhanced.
  13. A material which will cause mental confusion of such a type the individual under its influence will find it difficult to maintain a fabrication under questioning.
  14. Substances which will lower the ambition and general working efficiency of men when administered in undetectable amounts.
  15. Substances which promote weakness or distortion of the eyesight or hearing faculties, preferably without permanent effects.
  16. A knockout pill which can be surreptitiously administered in drinks, food, cigarettes, as an aerosol, etc., which will be safe to use, provide a maximum of amnesia, and be suitable for use by agent types on an ad hoc basis.
  17. A material which can be surreptitiously administered by the above routes and which in very small amounts will make it impossible for a person to perform physical activity

MKUltra was pretty much a failure because as Scientology and The Manson Family have shown, for brain washing to be effective the programing of the desired behaviour must be continually reinforced.

Modern Psychology and Psychiatry, through experimentation, has proven that there is no magic drug that will reduce a person down to a blank slate and, even if that day ever arrives, it would most likely still be cheaper and more efficiant to rely on people who grew up on healthy doses of patriotism and nationalism.

HARRASSMENT TO THE THIRD DEGREE

CIA is known to harrass us citizens who don't pay taxes. Here is a clear example of a perpetrator in their line of work. Everyone knows who the CIA is but for the CIA themselves. They have a dick so far up their ass that they will do anything for credit to fame, whether to shake hands with a communist or simply have sex with the prostitute they set a sting up for. CIA DOES NOT LIKE PORNOGRAPHY. The cocks have to be FRESH.

CIA busy at a non-tax paying citizens house harassing them with 5-year old head games.

When In Doubt: DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING

Hayden: DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING

December 7 2008: The CIA has taken to acting butthurt by destroying videotapes of the interrogation of Al-Qaeda operatives in 2005, defending the controversial move as necessary to protect CIA staff.

   
 
Were they ever to leak, they would permit identification of your CIA colleagues who had served in the program, exposing them and their families to retaliation from Al-Qaeda and its sympathizers.
 

 
 

—Hayden. Plame WHO?

'Waterboarding' film that ‘CIA doesn't want you to see' launched


Some girl struggles through news. Extra video points for an hero's mention.

C.I.A.


Some historical documents telling of the CIA's MO


Last time CIA was honest. Before becoming a criminal cartel for Jews.

Trolling CIA

  • Search this on Google: 1 (Note: enjoy being on the NSA watchlist lol)

Gallery

See Also

WTF
WTF
CIA is part of a series on acronyms

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