Crossfire

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This article is about the online game Crossfire. For the gay chat app, see xfire.

Crossfire is an online free-to-play massive shooter game made in some Vietnamese homebrew shack made by incapable 16-year-old for noob 16-year-olds. The framerates are ridiculously low and CS Source and graphics are on par with the latest in computer gaming, Counter-Strike 1.6! Since it is free anyone can play it because half of the world is too poor to actually BUY a decent game. This game over ruined by Brazilians that have shitty computers but ever since the massive bans of Br's it has cleaned the street of crime.

Noobs Everywhere

In Crossfire, practically all players are either noobs, fair play noobs (so-called forumers), children or girl gamers posting on the forums in all pink and internet retarded Brazilians. There are many reasons for becoming noob in this game. Excerpt of possible reasons for being noob:

• lucker
• sprayer
• croucher
• bullet-dodger
• backside-killer
• lowpinger
• highpinger
• lagger
• hacker
• waller
• chammer
• aimbotter
• wallhacker
• reloadkill
• textkill
• lolkill
• typing
• afk
• phonekill
• toiletkill
• food
• eating
• omg-headshot
• rifler-in-sniper-match
• scar-light-noob
• kriss-noob
• ak-noob
• m12-noob
• m60-noob
• awm-noob
• dragunov-noob
• pistol-noob
• grenade-noob
• smoke-noob
• flash-noob
• newbie
• noob
• nub
• nab
• ahole
• generic-fck-you-all

All of these things can make you NOOB. So .. don't forget to liberally spread these words in spam fashion in the game rooms especially..... ESPECIALLY in a game room full of Brazilians

Fair Play

Playing fair in this shitty game is as rare as someone taking a purple shit that smells like flowers. So this is how you can help to play fair with those shitty laggy ass Brazilians. This is APPROVED TO WORK 1000% OF THA TIME REGARDLESS because even the moderators don't give a shit about the game. So you can contribute to the spread of salty butthurt by following the complex yet simple steps below.

1. Make a new account at the website.

2. Download the client (may take from a couple of minutes or two days with walmart internet)

3. Go to MPGH.NET and download the latest HACKS!!!!!

4. update the game (3 hours later)

5. start your fuckin hacks.

6. start the game client.

7. look at the daily missions (do Search and Destroy as these games end quickly)

8. start hackin....AWWWW SHITTT PWNAGE, BITCH!!!!!!

9. ????

10. PROFIT

11. IF BANNED repeat steps 1 and 5-8.

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING PLEASE NOTE THAT IF YOU HACK NOW YOU WILL FUCKING CRY SINCE THEY UPDATED THE SYSTEM TO ACTUALLY BAN YOU! YOU WILL BE PERMANENTLY BANNED IP WISE AND SYSTEM WISE, LOL HAVE FUN REINSTALLING YOUR OS TO PLAY A SHITTY GAME (Please note that if you are Brazilian don't worry about the warning above so please hack so you can be banned because nobody likes Brazilian transsexuals)

Nice Things to Know

• The forums are moderated by a mutant noob guy named Saladin.
• Don't forget to look SPOPs and STAR characters under their hood for a big bonar, err, bonuses.
• Don't forget to join a clan with an offensive name, like III Reich or similar.
• You can circument the - again, CHEAP - swear words filter by putting dots into your beloved word.
• Don't forget to call people "hack", "kick" or "reported" when they make double kills or, even worse, TRIPLE kills.
• You can bind spam messages onto the F5, F6, F7 and F8 keys under Options, tab "Community". Ironic, isn't it?
• Everyone speaks english finally
• All the gun are over priced AS FUCK!
• Every game mode is ass with a capital A
• Graphics are like a Game boy
• Most players are about 12 to 15 (giggity)
• HACKERS ARE EVERY WHERE, SO JOIN THE MOVEMENT!!!
• since 10-11-11 there are less Brazilians (its about time)
• there are always useless gun updates

Offensive Things to Say

• kick XY
• hack, hek, hak, haker
• XY reported
• XY gay farmer noob
• learn to play
• use a real gun
• off that noob gun
• lets get on 1v1 ESL, you up to it noob?
• PORRA (means sperm in brazil)
• you have no life! (works well against high leveled players)
• call them gay (gay isn't blocked in chat, LOL SMART)
• NO AIM NO AIM NO AIM
• go uninstall the game, you F@g
• any momma joke in the book
• talk shit about Brazil (always works)

Weblinks

Crossfire homepage

Crossfire is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.