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Textile bomb
Add pixplzkthnx to Textile bomb Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix. |
A textile bomb is a technique used at the Guerrilla News Network forum that essentially constitutes kamikaze trolling. It involves using the forum's "Textile" markup language to promptly end a thread forever. It's the internets equivalent of kicking over the Monopoly board and storming out of the room in a huff because you didn't get to buy any of the respectable properties.
Origins
The first crude textile bombs were invented in this thread, a flame war which began as an anti-flame-war. The war technically ended when an exploit turned the whole forum green and fucked with most of the text. It also caused an error to appear at the top of the page:
Warning: join() [function.join]: Bad arguments. in /usr/www/gnn.tv/htdocs/_lib/Textile.php on line 363
That particular flame war melted and screwed the forum so badly that alteration of the code by the site's programmer was necessary. Far from fixing the actual problem, the changes merely eliminated the bombers' ability to write beyond the too-narrow forum borders. As a result, the errors are still generated but the creative endeavors of hiding text and images far on the other side of the screen, using footnotes to teleport, and making the whole screen an ugly color are no longer visible.
The thread also allegedly caused a site administrator to blame the site's hideously slow load times on the creative use of textile in a personal message:
—O RLY? |
The thread eventually ended with some tears, high-fives, and a fifty Hitler post that was actually a picture of Hitler with a watermelon.
Aftermath
The effects of the early crude textile-bomb can still be seen in this thread, but probably not in Firefox because the whole site is optimized for Firefox are viewable at the Interbutts Archive. Crap browsers like Internet Explorer are recommended for viewing the effect. Many consider the pink to be a vast improvement.
Today
Some users have the power to instantly end a thread forever.
Ever since the initial thread, and one or two uses from people who actually know how to code, textile antics and textile bombs were not heard of for a long time. However, it seems that certain factions went into secret testing and developed new textile bomb techniques. Far more refined, they are typically used only for strategic purposes like pissing people off and proving intelligence.
One particularly evil textile bomb was dropped on a thread by a sock puppet called Godzilla. BANG, browser crashes, thread effectively closed. The power to instantly end a thread had many trolls foaming at the mouth.