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Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

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Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, (aka Carl on Duty: Black Cops 2) is the latest game from the fags that brought you Call of Duty: World at War and Black Cocks.


Campaign

Alex Mason and his buddies got fucked over in South Africa during the 1980s and somehow unwittingly assisted a future Illuminati leader's plans for screwing the US in the ass. The majority of the game consists of everything getting blown to fuck, people getting torn up with machine guns and the unveiling of robotic military personnel.

Confirmed Characters

  • Alex Mason: The same brainwashed and crazy bastard from Black Cocks returns for the first half of the game.
  • David Mason: The loser son of a loser dad.
  • Frank Woods: HOLY SHIT FRANK WOODS SURVIVED HIS JIHAD AGAINST KRAVTCHENKO BUT WAS ROYALLY FUCKED IN THE LEGS SO HE'S NOW FORCED TO HELP WITH SPIC CONTROL!
  • Raul Mendez: A beaner who plays the role of antagonist. He can either be killed or caught.

Multiplayer

Confirmed Perks

Weapons

All anyone usually cares about.

Primary

Assault Rifle

  • AK-47: As every game from CoD4 onwards needs it's terrorist/nationalist weapon of choice, this faggy piece of shit returns to blow loads in the player's face.
  • AN-94: Reskin of the AK-47, pointless.
  • M16: Such an uncommon weapon, Treyarch.
  • Commando: Copypasta from the original Fag Ops.
  • Galil: Treyarch includes a weapon that no military in the world uses.
  • FN FAL: Moar like Fail, amirite?
  • Type 95: The FAGmas gets replaced by the same chink commie bullpup rifle from MW3. It will probably be even more overpowered than it was in that game.
  • Type 25: Treyarch pandering to the AZN fanbase by including more gook fire-power.
  • M4A1: The signature weapon of the US army.
  • M8A1: Nazi-trash, CoD protocol dictates at least one per title.
  • SCAR-H: Why Treyarch, why?

Submachine Gun

  • Vector K10: Copypasta from MW2.
  • Uzi: Useless SMG is useless.
  • Chicom: Bullpups are becoming more common, now there's a bullpup SMG.
  • PDW57: Fictional.

Light Machine Gun

  • Mk46: Shitstick that everyone will use because in MW3 it was rape incarnate.
  • LSAT: Britfag LMG.

Sniper Rifle

Shotgun

  • KSG: The Ruskie weapon that players became butthurt over in Black Ops due to it not being included in multiplayer.
  • M1216: Select fire shotgun.

Secondary

Handguns

  • M1911: Signature handgun.
  • KAP-40: Futuristic looking pistol.
  • Five-Seven: M9 Beretta replacement.
  • Raging Judge: A revolver, it's not even a real weapon for fuck's sake.

Launcher

  • RPG: Included in the game for the same reason as the AK-47. As utilised by Niggers in the 1980s.
  • MM-1: Free-fire or lock-on fuckstick that nobody cares about.
  • FHJ-18 AA: A rocket with erectile disfunction.

Grenades

Lethal

  • Frag: Rendered obsolete by Semtex.
  • Semtex: An adhesive grenade that you'll hear detonating almost as much as Claymores.
  • Tomahawk: An axe that sounds badass when you throw it. You will always miss and get raped.
  • Bouncing Betty: Or 'Buttsecks Bitch', launches into the air and explodes, raping everyone.

Tactical

  • Flashbangs: Ghey, doesn't do shit.
  • Shock Charge: EMP renamed.

Zombies

Apparently now a carbon copy of Left 4 Dead as when you die you respawn as a zombie. The previous limit of six players has now been increased to eight.


See also

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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