Atheist

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	“	In this moment I am Euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessings. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.	„
	—Aalewis, a typical Redditor showing the inherent narcissism of atheists

Atheism is a fad cult which has metastasized all across the civilized world. Whether it's due to teenage angst, high school bullying, repressed rage at parents, a superiority complex covered in self-loathing, or any combination of the 4, one thing is clear. Its adherents are attention whores, sycophants, stupid arrogant twats, bigots, assholes, and demagogues. In place of God they worship Richard Dawkins and what/whoever makes them feel smart. They have all the arrogance, dogma, and fanaticism that they accuse Muslims, Christians, Hindoos or Jews of having. They justify their attitudes by claiming to be backed by science, and in their arrogance many atheists believe that bullshit. Rejecting this paradigm makes you 'anti-science', AKA heretical. These heretics are supposedly the reason why humans can still hurt each other, and atheists hypocritically think removing or at least abandoning theism = world peace. Despite claiming not to be a religion, atheism is a grotesque parody of it. And worshippers of this religion don't follow it due to a genuine religious experience or to have a more fulfilling life, unlike Muslim or Christian converts for example.

You might look like Cancerhitchens

An example to all atheists

History

In the beginning there was darkness, and then Richard Dawkins said "let there be atheism", and, to the misfortune of people who aren't completely arrogant cunts, that shit was created. Although it started out as a practical joke, it quickly grew out of control similar to an American's cholesterol level. In 1783, the website known as "Reddit" was created by Xenu and quickly became a popular place of worship by atheists and terrorists alike. This website contributed to the plague known as "free thinking" and as of the year 2013, over 0.3% of the world's population are known as atheists. Atheists can commonly be found fapping to a diagram of a mammal evolving or licking their own cum off their computer screen while the Wikipedia page on The Big Bang is loaded, because they're stupid enough to think that stuff disproves religion. While people are at church on Sunday, atheists can usually be found devouring the flesh of unborn Christian babies, because that's just what atheists do.

Dinosaurs

What every atheist wants from religion

All atheists love dinosaurs. No exceptions. Spotting an atheist is easy. Just ask, "So how long have you loved dinosaurs?"

Their autistically encyclopædic knowledge of dinosaurs is what makes them first doubt the Book of Genesis. Realizing that Genesis contains no mention of super cool dinosaurs, they reject all religions because Judaism is the world's only religion. If a religion doesn't teach the truth about how awesome dinosaurs are, it must be false, and also the cause of everything bad in the world. Because in the time of the dinosaurs, life on Earth was a paradise, where no animals believed in God, especially badass dinosaurs- until religion ruined fucking everything and brought violence and suffering and death into the world. Only religion can make good people do bad things, because all religions are sorely lacking in totally rad dinosaur factoids.

The mere fact that dinosaur bones exist is proof that there is no God, since the Jews failed to write about them. See, scientists have evidence that dinosaurs existed because they found fossils, but scientists have found no fossils of God. And if anyone knows what God looks like it's scientists. If you tell an atheist that there are probably hidden fossils that humans haven't found yet, they would agree with you, believing in the existence of something they've never seen. But believing in God is crazy, because I don't see God or God's bones anywhere, do you?

Loving dinosaurs is the main reason atheists take any interest in evolution (besides wondering why they're so ugly). And evolution disproves God because the Jews didn't write about it (besides the whole mankind coming from dirt thing), and everyone knows that Jews would never lie about anything, evar. Their love of dinosaurs is also the only reason atheists argue with creationists, who don't love dinosaurs as much as they do. Any idiot who thinks the Earth is 6,000 years old skipped over the best part of life on Earth: totally cool dinosaurs.

Fun fact: Atheists' dinosaur fascination explains the emergence of Raptor Jesus, pictures of Jesus riding a dinosaur, or writing about dinosaurs on Noah's Ark. All atheists wish every religion featured more super awesome dinosaurs. That's all they've ever wanted. Is that too much to ask?

Atheists

Lol jk atheists only read in 140 characters.

A typical atheist in its natural habitat

More atheists in their natural habitat

Atheists are notable for their profound intellect and deep knowledge of science, history, and philosophy.

Recent studies reveal that atheists tend to be privileged, college educated with serious superiority complexes who are always willing to engage in pointless debates to further inflate their colossal egos. In an interesting contradiction, their liberal bias towards Islam conflicts with their hatred of all things religious.

Atheists are afflicted by an aggressive strain of unwarranted self-importance, which causes them to vastly overestimate their intelligence compared to their more temperate peers. They must convince themselves they’re omniscient geniuses, lest they break under the revelation they’re not always right and have been making faith-based assertions.

Atheists have a mental commitment to let everyone know how much people shove religion down their throats. They are, of course, oblivious to the fact that if they can call themselves atheists, no religion has been forced upon them so far, thus they fail to realize that by following atheism in such a militant fashion, they are shoving their beliefs down everyone's throats far more than they accuse others of doing.

In fact, atheists are so fanatical that they go around foaming at the mouth for "rational" debates. Upon watching an atheist in an argument, it becomes clear that their points consist entirely of condescension, lofty moralizing, over-generalizations, and "clever" quips about their opponents' intelligence—in other words, atheists think that poorly assembled sarcasm and ad hominem attacks amount to a valid argument. They will begin by stating they only want food for thought to "improve their position"; five minutes later, they'll state that talking to their opponent is like arguing with a brick wall. The irony of this statement is consistently lost on the atheist.

They believe that some philosopher (e.g., Friedrich Nietzsche, Richard Dawkins, or Karl Popper) has proven atheism. However, they will of course dismiss any philosopher that believes in God. The atheist argument runs thus:

1. God does not exist, and this is obvious, ergo
2. Anyone who believes in God is stupid, ergo
3. Any arguments that God exists are invalid, ergo
4. God does not exist MUDDAFUGGA

It is a known fact that every atheist on YouTube is subscribed to at least 100 atheist YouTube speakers such as TheAmazingAtheist and flood all of their videos, the "Other Channels" section of their profile, and channel comments with advertisements about said speakers.

Atheists freaking out IRL.

The Church of Atheism

See also: Reddit

With the creation of atheism in 1783, the Godless parasites, lead by the virgin Richard Dawkins, created a cult known as "atheism". Much like the Catholic Church, it is organized into different sections. The Fapacy, the holy atheist Richard Dawkins, is the president of the church. He exhibits omnipotent powers, and can banish evidence that supports intelligent design from existence. His Bishops, the moderators of Reddit and Encyclopedia Dramatica, control the minds of the public. Members of the church, also known as internet users, will torture you if they discover you have tarnished the shrine of Richard Dawkins in your home. Torture is mostly gay sex, because, let's face it, all atheists are atheists because they are secretly gay. Other members of the church, "scientists", also known as wizards, spend all their time creating potions to cure ailments such as free thought, even though it's evident that all problems in the world are caused by Thetans and witches. When intellectually challenged, atheists will begin masturbating violently and will eventually kill themselves. Atheism is a religion. Why the fuck do you think all their arguments are "I don't believe god exists?"

Tips for Arguing if You're an Atheist

Friendly reminder that atheism is "common sense."

Does the thought of shitposting your opinion on matters that nobody cares about excite you? Do you have a superiority complex that just needs fulfilling? Are you an autistic buffoon who thinks that questionable logic used by autistic teenagers is "common sense"? Do you feel compelled to vomit any time you're in a church? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then you just might be ready to begin your journey down the enlightment that is Atheism! Now, we know that suddenly becoming open minded by militantly copy/pasting whatever crackpot bullshit you read on fellow euphoric blogs is an exciting experience that you just can NOT wait to test drive, but we at ED offer you a few pieces of advice to fit right in with your new unwashed brethren.

• Use as many double standards as you can muster. It's a little known fact, because atheism is still unfortunately a minority, that atheists are more intellectual than their religious counterparts. That's why anything a Christfag says is worth less than your statement, because atheists are too morally, intellectually, and scientifically superior to be compared to other people (ewww).

• Use the words "scientific", "ignorant", "rational", and any of the like as often as possible. Christfags need to remember that what they believe is wrong. They believe in stories translated from grunts of their caveman days. That is why you, as the savior to logic and reason, must constantly spam the same buzzwords over and over again until they lose all meaning until the point where nobody can read the bible because the English language will be destroyed! It doesn't matter if these words are used incorrectly, such as applying the word "scientific" to fallicious reasoning that you make (which is preposterous, as atheists do not post fallicious logic, but this is hypothetical), so long as you doctrine what is faulty logic that is "scientific" from faulty logic that is not "scientific" (AKA anything you don't agree with).

• Understand your opponent Why do we clarify Christfags? Simple process of deduction, really. Jews are too busy to waste time arguing on the interwebs, and Muslims are too angry at our Western Lifestyle to bomb our chatrooms (when they could be bombing us irl). Eastern religions will not be represented because anyone claiming to be from the east is either a weeaboo or an atheistic religion, which doesn't count, because that's not a religion, it's a philosophy (even though they believe in spiritual matters, it's still philosophy. Remember, keeping your stride is more important than being truthful).

• Any time a religious person does something evil it's in the name of religion. This is true about all conflict in the world, such as WTC. Atheism, however, does not do this, and anyone who does anything bad remotely to the cause of the eradication of religion is doing it because they're a bad person. Stalin is a good example of this. He didn't persecute religious people because they had a religion, he just wanted to make a lack of religion in his country. He can't do this for atheism, because "atheism is just a lack of religion".

• There's strength in numbers, so stick with as many atheists as you can and gang up on any Christfag you see. Even though you make up a minority of the world's population, let a Circlejerk be known where ever you stand with your brothers in autism far above them, because everyone knows that whoever agrees the most with the same people on his side of the debate is the one that is correct.

• Christfags do not read the Bible, so take as many verse from it out of context as you can and shove it in their faces. Because many Christfags fail to read the Bible, this will confuse the crap out of them.

• Point out contradictions in the Bible that aren't there. Because somebody took the time in MS Paint to put two Bible verses side by side, some of them are bound to be legitimate, unexplainable contradictions. 100% effective strategy because of above.

• Use as much testimonial as possible. Everyone knows that if someone smart says it, it must be true. Did that one famous scientist from 50 years ago question the concept of God during a depressing period in his life? Christianity: Dis-proven. Everyone knows that the more quotes you take from image macros and spam, the more intelligent you'll appear. In addition, many younger people join atheism to rebel against their brainwashing parents, so use as much "new age" copypasta as you can!

• Speak first, cite later. The Christfag will without a doubt not read your sources, so you don't have to worry about the credibility of anything you post on the internet, especially not whenever they promote the noble cause of atheism! Why would they? It's not like atheists are capable of lying.

Tips for arguing with atheists

Despite what they may imply, atheists are almost as stupid as creationists. They have almost no knowledge of physics or cosmology outside of wikipedia. Many of them have a low enough intelligence to take the above section of this article as a serious how-to guide. After about 3 replies they will begin to deny causality and basic laws of physics. There's no hope in actually talking any sense into them as they are unimaginably arrogant. One thing that is hilariously true is that they're deluded enough to think that using the atheist sub-reddit as their only source of information means that no evidence for God exists. There actually exists numerous arguments for god's existence:

Some Atheist Asshole on Yahoo playing Internet Tough Guy and claiming he can debunk every single point on here. Go ahead, Do it faggot.
Note: Religion: a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe... Wow, he's off to a good start already!

• The Kalam Cosmological Argument. Guaranteed to result in either the denial of causality, or a simple "How do you know it was God?" Atheists will go out on a limb to assert that because they don't know which god they should believe in, they deny the existence of all gods.
• The Fine-tuning of the universe. Guaranteed to result in some tripe about the multi-verse, even though ironically enough there exists no evidence to support the multiverse. Alternatively, they will miss the point entirely by referring to the Anthropic Principle (which is a deflection tactic that tries to refer only to humans and not the universe itself) From here then go on to tell them that the Borde-Guth-Vilenkin Theorem denies the existence of a multi-verse.

It should be noted that when presented with the above two arguments, they will, at any time they don't have a good comeback, completely dismiss them by their field alone, rather than combat them. They do this because they've reached the conclusion that "because philosophy has no scientific evidence, all philosophy is void as evidence". Yes, they will justify their dismissal with moar philosophy.

• Baryon Asymmetry. They will immediately tell you this isn't evidence despite the fact that there is no cosmological model that fixes this problem without God.
• Violations to the Copernican Principle. Explain to them that because of the Ecliptic alignment of cosmic microwave background anisotropy,it basically means that the Earth is at the center of the universe.

"You either believe the cat is alive or dead. No exceptions."

When backed into a corner, or out of decent, original arguments, the atheist will play one of several trump cards and snark at you as they hope to cause the theist to roll on the ground crying in frustration. Sure enough, these arguments are tested in the comfort of strawman and I am silly! comics/rants, and thus cannot possibly backfire in any manner! What they don't realize is that several of their common offenses are common, therefore plenty of counter-arguments have been created:

• "Everyone is an atheist; I just happen to believe in one less god than you do." A common atheist argument that asserts that since Christians believe in only one god, but none of the other countless gods worshiped over time such as Zeus or Thor, everyone is an atheist. This argument is easily dismantled by pointing out that atheism, by definition, is the universal rejection of ALL gods, not just some. Since Christians believe in a god, they cannot be atheists, making this argument invalid.

If the above fails...

• "You are either a theist or an atheist, no exception." This is nothing more than a cheap attempt to gain the middle ground and agnostics because atheists are subliminally aware that they're full of shit when they state that a deity doesn't exist. Surprisingly, the only sources outside of their ass that coincide with what they shit out are other retard atheist blogs with as much credibility as the inherited pseudo intellectual, with just as much logic (none). The atheist, in full ADHD due to a steady diet of Mountain Dew and Cheetos, assumes that everyone instantaneously forms a dedicated opinion about something as soon as it's introduced to them based entirely on personal preference. Needless to say, this approach is dangerously unscientific.

• The worst of them will try to defend their bullshit claims with "You can't prove a negative" when asked for sauce in their rants that say that God can not exist. "You can't prove a negative" is ironically unprovable by its own grammar, and thus should be dismissed on its own right by the atheist's favorite razor, Hitchens' (Their second favorite being the razor they use to cut themselves with while listening to Evanescence and crying that, despite their superior intellect, they cannot understand how to get laid).
• "Atheism is just a denial of theism, we don't have to prove anything." This does not excuse your average atheist from spewing copy/paste "religion is a lie" rants (ironically, stating religion is a lie is a claim, and thus needs evidence).
• "Occam's Razor supports atheism." In order for the universe without a deity to be provable, the universe must be proven to have infinite regression (which must fall to inductive reasoning, ergo, without evidence) or else be created with the help of the multiverse, which, unless the multiverse has a creation point, infinitely regresses as well in a never ending cycle of universe creation to be absolutely sure that a deity could not have created the multiverse (since Christfags love to push the boundaries of where their God resides). If the latter is the case, then what must be proven is a sort of multiverse within a multiverse and ad nauseam, or else some other factor outside of our comprehension creating something similar to a time loop (note, relying on the existence of this possible force outside of our comprehension to dismiss this flaw is a cop-out and, ironically, must be proven to exist). This is about as "simple" of a solution as tying a cat to a treadmill belt and leaving the machine active for a week to test whether or not the treadmill is safe for running.

• "Atheism is the default religious stance; theists are the only ones who must prove their bullshit." To fully understand this argument, two clauses must be established:

1. "Atheism and agnosticism are the same concepts" (which is only "proven" by other atheists). This statement alone fails because rejection isn't the same process as ambiguity. For example, if you see a fine piece of ass on a woman but her face reminds you of Arguecat, it might take you a moment or two to decide if it's really worth ramming your cock into. On the other hand, if Arguecat's ass was in front of you, a "Hell no" is appropriate (unless you're a sick fuck). The former is different than the later because the thought of tapping that ass is considered and has a very real possibility of being acted upon, rather than simply walking away and deciding to not act upon the anus. In neutral agnosticism, both sides have equal consideration, and thus the claims of either aren't explicitly rejected or accepted.

They hate Christmas too.

• "What created God?" This is perhaps the most over-used trump in the atheist arsenal. However, because the atheist community is composed of self-righteous preteens with the memory of a hamster with ADHD, too many sources exist to address this. This cliche is presented by atheists who don't fully understand what the concept of God is. They will, without a doubt, create a fallacy of composition. They do not recognize that theists believe God to be the initial clause of the universe.

• "Studies show that Atheists are smarter." Because religion is found commonly in poor countries, niggers hinder the intelligence average of the religious population. Interestingly enough, there hasn't been an official, reliable study of intelligence vs. religiousness that's included the web atheist population (the world is long overdue for one, yet we can only wait until Reddit Island for a reliable study). Nevertheless, with all of the rednecks, WBC, niggers, and creationists, and other outliers that Christfags are associated with, the whole 3 point difference in average is very petty. One factor the atheist fails to consider, most of all, is the distribution of money with the two areas. Ergo, poorer people and countries are more likely to believe in a deity out of desperation or appreciation for tradition to stay alive, while at the same time being less educated because they don't have the money for ITT Tech. Wealthier peoples, however, can afford ITT Tech, and are less reliant on tradition because they have enough money to survive and do other things than pray to the sun for crops to be bountiful this harvest. The obvious deviant from this norm is the Jew, who may be religious while still hoarding vast amounts of wealth because he or she is a greedy fuck.
• "Religion doesn't approve of sex." The atheist in this case would like the world to be looser on sexual morality and social standards because he can't get laid. In any case, this is factually incorrect. While most religions have restrictions on sexuality, only a handful of fringe groups reject it entirely.
• "Magic sky fairies." Deists and pantheists (and really everyone with intelligence and maturity beyond elementary school) are unaffected by this juvenile appeal to ridicule.
• "You're basing your ideas off of a 2000 year old book? Have fun living in the dark ages, dumbass." A textbook example of the Genetic Fallacy. Politely inform them that dismissing anything because of its age is to scientific reasoning what worship of "new" pop singles by Lil' Wayne and Nicki Minaj is to music appreciation. They will try to claim that it isn't, based on claims of "evidence" existing (this evidence will end up being the first couple results pulled from a quick google search, presented without much thought).
• "Can you prove God exists?" Use one of the above points. When confronted with this, they will undoubtedly ask a form of "how can you be sure it was God?" or try to refute the massive problems with the universe's structure that the otherwise to the above creates. Inform them of all of the "biblical prophecies" that came true (bonus points for citing actual cases). They will, at this point, dismiss your entire case on no real solid reasoning, followed by a few ad hominem attacks.

• "Quantum fluctuations create something from nothing so the universe was made like that too" Some specimens with a modicum of acquaintance with physics might use this argument to avoid denying causality and/or logic when faced with "ex nihilo nihil fit" argument. This immediately falls flat on it's face because the particles created from quantum vacuum are not being made from nothing but are borrowing energy from underlying particle/quantum fields - ie. from "something".

• "Prayer works proportional to the country they live in. If not, then why are there more sick people in Africa than in America?" Atheists who say this are probably idiots with a sense of patriotism. Do you know that the U.S. has a higher rate of heart disease and cancer than places in Africa, not to mention the world!!!??? They don't know it because they are too fat to reach for the mouse and search.

Hitchens' Razor

This is the ultimate atheist tool. It's also one of the weakest arguments for a religious stance once dissected. The argument claims that extraordinary claims must have extraordinary evidence to justify it. This argument is the justification that "atheists do not have to prove anything." It's not uncommon for the atheist to try to empty themselves of the burden of proof. Once you understand it, you'll realize that over half of the atheist Facebook/Reddit macros will stem from this argument, whether they realize it or not ("You can't prove God exists"). The argument was made famous by atheist Christopher Hitchens, who stole it from some people over 100 years ago because he ran out of insults to call Christfags.

Several holes in the principle are presented once it's brought into the field, however.

• Employing this denies all forms of faith. The atheist wants this in order to appear smarter, but lulz can, and often do ensure whenever the Razor is used to deny the material world exists, not unlike a dream perceived by you.

• Cop-out alert! The atheist can, if "abuse" (read as application) of the razor is presented to several claims that don't explicitly require evidence but are accepted nevertheless, the atheist may define the razor as "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence to prove" or some variation. Yes, many atheists really are that blind to their hypocrisy.

• The Razor can't be used to disprove anything, nor advance a claim for a stance other than agnosticism. The atheist will still leave its burden of proof that God doesn't exist unfulfilled.
• Only when the claim that God exists is presented can the razor be used since the razor is a tool of retaliation. The irony is that whenever the atheist comes into the picture and makes his usual fundimentalist thread-initiating post, it can be used to dismiss any claims the atheist makes (the atheist can't support his claim that [insert religion here] is false because he or she does not have any confirmation in his arguments regarding the stance of a deity, only cherry-picking). In fact, one could say it's a double-edged blade.

Arguing with an Atheist

Even on this video, you will see Atheists circle jerking each other, thumbing each other up, and proving everything said above correct, to stop their crying at night.

Russell's Teapot

Dependence on seeing this original argument correlates strongly with how retarded the atheist arguing is. Unfortunately, since most atheists are mentally defunct britfag teenagers with internet access and an opinion that will SHAEK TEH WoRLD!!!, this occurs frequently. The argument's logic follows as such:

• You cannot prove God exists.
• You cannot prove that a teapot that orbits the sun in space exists (drones will substitute the teapot in space with something such as unicorns or dildo monsters).
• A teapot in space does not exist.
• Therefore, God does not exist. LOLPWNED!

However, this argument is complete bullshit.

	“	The argument presumes that such is not the case, so presumes what it sets out to prove, and is thus a circular argument.	„
	—Philip Rayment, pawning victims of Catholic molestation and making RationalWiki butthurt.

Once the creative entity is removed from the equation, the whole point of the argument is a copy/paste from Hitchens' Razor. Bonus challenge: disprove that the mythical comparisons made by said teenager. (Hint: God is not bound to the universe. Santa Claus is) Eventually, they will alter the meaning of the entity in question until it no longer resembles the original folklore, ruining the strength of the argument as they try to cop-out, with rambling along the lines of "PROVE TAT AN UNPROVIBL THING DOSNT EXST AN FELE MY PAAAIIN THAT U ASK ME 2 DO!!!".

Ex-Christian-Atheists

As much as everyone enjoys an atheist's company, you will feel nothing but utter love being with what can only be described as ex-Christian-Atheists. Essentially, these are just faggots who displace their rage at their church-going parents onto God. This is really not surprising. After all, how can an atheist believe in a loving God when they hate themselves? What they persistently fail to realize is that hating God means you believe in him, meaning you are, in fact, not an atheist at all, but instead a whiny faggot.

More likely than not, these are the people you will see in everywhere who cry and scream on the Internet with either THE FUCKING FURY or Exclamation points, so you have to have the pleasure of reading it all over again.

An example of such stupidity:

• God is a myth made up by sheep trying to control more sheep.
• It doesn't matter that I'm 13. I'm still smarter than you.
• I haven't told my parents yet, because I'm still 27 and don't want to move out for being a genius.

What causes atheism?

The leading cause of atheism is nobody loves you. Your mom doesn't count.

Pizza Hut is an atheist.

Maybe you're ugly, maybe you're fat, maybe you're short, maybe you're a virgin, maybe you have embarrassing body hair, maybe you're a homo, maybe you're a ginger, maybe you have a small penis, maybe you have a ponytail, maybe you're a Jew, maybe you wear glasses, maybe you suck at sports, maybe you look like a total dork, maybe you live in your mom's basement, maybe you have a whiny voice, maybe you're a gamer who plays World of Warcraft or Dota 2 or EVE Online, maybe you listen to black metal, maybe you have a serious disease and are confined to a wheelchair, maybe you were molested as a child and how could God let that happen?, maybe nobody wanted to molest you as a child because you were too ugly, maybe you were born with a serious physical deformity, maybe you watch animu, maybe you played Magic or Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh! or D&D, maybe you're a psychopath incapable of human emotion, maybe everyone laughs at you, maybe you collect comic books or boardgames or webcomics or piss bottles, maybe you're a socially retarded freak, maybe you're a burn victim, maybe you're a dyke, etc. Maybe you're one or more of the above. Each additional trait increases your chances of being bullied/being an atheist, which is inversely proportional to your chances of getting laid by the opposite sex.

Since everybody hates you and nobody will touch you because they all think you're revolting and your life is miserable and you have a giant chip on your shoulder, the only possible conclusion is that there is no God. Because if there was a God, He'd give you everything you ever wanted because you think you're a pretty cool guy and your mom said so too, yet you're also a megalomaniac who fantasizes about how you'd get your revenge on the world if you were God, which videogames, fictional works, and school shootings allow you to act out.

Most beautiful people believe in God, especially beautiful women. Men in general are less likely to believe in God, because most men are ugly as fuck anyway. Beautiful people have been blessed with good looks and their life is better than most. For them life is an easy effortless fun time, with little struggle, relatively speaking. Although the death of a loved one may cause them to doubt their faith, since that person is no longer around to love them, because again, atheism is caused by lack of love.

This is also why atheists tend to believe love is a mental illness, like religion, which is basically love of God. Atheists often feel love and religion are the very same mental disorder (while believers often say God is Love). Since nobody loves them, everyone around them must be crazy. Since their life is miserable, there must be no God, but since they think very highly of themselves and see no reason why everybody hates them, they must be right and everybody else (who doesn't love them) must be wrong. And even if by some slim chance someone does love them one day, it won't make up for all the time nobody loved them, the hurt and pain won't simply be forgotten. Emotional pain leads to atheism. Cries of "Why God why?" transform into "Do something!" transform into "in this moment I am euphoric..." They turn their bitterness and nobody loving them for so long into personal exceptionalism. Atheists might bring up science or lack of evidence, and yet gloss over the lack of evidence that anybody ever really loved them.

Why do so many ugly people believe in God? Because they don't blame God for all the bad things that happen in their life. They blame the Devil.

Morality

Logic is the first casualty of atheism.

You think we were joking?

	“	Not every bad person is an atheist, but every atheist is a bad person.	„
	—Random Anon

	“	All atheists are rude, arrogant, mysogonistic attention whoring douchebags.	„
	—Truth

Typical atheist morality.

Atheists need to be kicked out of America!

An atheist intellectual.

Since atheists believe God does not exist, they don't care about morality, usually stating that they prefer rationality over your primitive 'moral' ideas. This makes them amazingly easy to troll. Just ask them, "So are you saying that rationality is OBJECTIVELY BETTER than irrational morality?", then kick back and watch as the self-loathing God-hater ties himself up in knots trying to justify rationalism without morality.

Atheists are convinced that religion is the cause of all conflict and directly responsible for every war and murder that has ever occurred, when in reality it is just a source of major lulz for their more temperate kin. Atheists fail to realize that with or without religion, there will always be stupid people in the world who will fervently believe anything they read.

Failing to justify man-made morals, they resort to a comparative exercise. The main crux of their argument rests on body counts, but a short sample of atheist leadership data reveals a different picture:

• Mao-Tse-Tung, Atheist: 78 million plus dead
• Joseph Stalin, Atheist: 20 million plus dead
• Adolf Hitler, Atheist: 15 million dead
• Vladimir Lenin, Atheist: 5.5 million dead
• Kim-Il-Sung, Atheist: 5 million dead
• Pol Pot, Atheist: 2 million dead
• Fidel Castro, Atheist: 1 million dead

PROTIP: When in an encounter with an atheist and this issue comes up, simply point out that atheist dictators killed millions of people over the past century, and caused more death in a much shorter time span than almost any other catastrophe that has happened in the civilized world, and murdered hundreds of thousands in an effort to eradicate religion itself, because, you know, mass murder is the inevitable result when a community becomes too intolerant of outlandish dogmas and too fond of critical thinking.

The atheist, of course, will respond that "BUT DUDE STALIN DIDN'T KILL RELIGIOUS PEOPLE IN THE NAME OF ATHEISM HE KILLED THEM IN THE NAME OF COMMUNISM!!!!11", as though Communism's status as an atheistic philosophy had nothing to do with persecuting theists. It's sort of like saying "THE KKK DIDN'T LYNCH PEOPLE FOR BEING BLACK THEY LYNCHED THEM FOR NOT BEING WHITE!!!" Then ask them how many people did die in the Crusades (1-3 million, which seems hilarious against the numbers listed above). In response to this question they will attempt to shove "The God Delusion" book up their own urethra.

	“	To punish the oppressors of humanity is clemency; to forgive them is barbarity.	„
	—Maximilian Robespierre, 1794 - How atheism would eliminate violence & achieve world peace.

	“	Christianity is potentially one of the biggest problems facing society.	„
	—Adolf Hitler (Not a Christian)

Much like a teenager takes up smoking or a standup comedian takes up heroin because they think it makes them look cool, an atheist dives into depravity because they think it makes them look edgy. This atheist drive to seem cool typically stems from being picked on which is why they don't believe in God in the first place. By living in sin, an atheist feels they are getting revenge on the deluded sheep around them, and they can pride themselves that they are a freethinker unburdened by superstitious notions of evil or sin, and that their brain has reached an advanced state of atheism just like a cockroach, until of course entropy sets in. Atheism reaffirms their sociopathy and misanthropy which was driven into them by bullies because they are probably ugly. Of course, many atheists will claim to be humanists, which is the same as thinking that God created man to rule the world and all of its creatures, like it says in the Book of Genesis. That's why Jews can switch to atheism and "secular humanism" so quickly (besides the fact that they worship money, and nailed Jesus to a cross).

The God Delusion: Richard Dawkins and hypocrisy

In 2006 our lord and savior Richard Dawkins released a book that is probably the atheist