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DustFungo
—Dustin, being a faggot as usual | ||
Dustin Joseph Kelly (aka. DustFungo, Fungo, or more popularly known, Funghole), born July 30th, 1985, is a popular video-editor, musician, and general laughing stock in the Silent Hill fandom who thought it would be a good idea to name himself after a dust-clogged yeast infection.
Internet Faggotry
He is most well-known on the interwebs as an Angry Video Game Nerd and Nostalgia Critic rip-off who bashes old games that nobody cares about and reviews movies via his alternate personality Señor Fungo. The feedback from his videos pointed out his lack of research and his specifically-shaped haircut [1]. He is also known for ripping copy-written content from the first few Silent Hill games, conducting self-interviews about how he did it and asking people to credit him before taking it. He labels his name on everything likely in a desperate attempt to become famous.
Dustin is a Silent Hill oldfag and has been in the community since 1999. He was a part of the first big Silent Hill forum that nobody cares about, along with other equally stable fans, including Vixx and Krist from the Silent Hill Heaven forum. Sometime down the road, he decided that he would start mooching off of the series to give himself a name, hence his totally original complete soundtracks and rips and the birth of his site, Silent Hill Media. After the release of Silent Hill: Origins, Dustin started to get butthurt over the series and refused to rip any content from the newer games, constantly bitching about how "Americanized" they were. He has outdated and disproven theories on the games that supposedly explain why the new games don't fit the main canon. Although these theories ignore plain evidence and pull from vague or non-existent sources, they are completely true and override what Konami says. This logic propelled Dustin to begin working on his documentary.
On his old forum, Silent Hill Talk, he would neglect updates, leave users in the dark about his site decisions, and eventually left the forums to move in with his Christfag boyfriend in Arizona, Rosseter. After coming back to the forum over 9000 years later, he tried to reassume his role as owner, in which many lulz were had. Eventually he gave up altogether with the forum, posting a heartfelt post about how hard his life is and how the forum coding is too hard to understand before merging it with another site.
Dustin is well on his way to having an internet posse, so BACK OFF!
— LegacyZero, Dustin's white knight. | ||
Personal Life
Dustin has never held down a steady job in his life and has most likely never worked above minimum wage, as he never takes any of his jobs seriously. He bounces from state to state, never living in one place for very long before he spends all of his rent money on video games and alcohol and his dad has to come help him move, noting how worthless his son is. It is unknown whether he is a manchild because he doesn't know any better or because it's easier than growing up. Dustin's inability to grow body hair is likely the result of this. Dustin usually puts any money he aquires toward shit accessories for his consoles or to buy more factory-sealed games that he will most likely never even play. Dustin loves J-pop, animu, Final Fantasy VII, LOST, and Futurama. He also has a vast knowledge of the Japanese language and can translate the language into English. He used to make fun of Christianity and videotaped his mother praying in an attempt to troll her, but recently became a Christfag himself in an attempt to get pussy. Dustin is very self-conscious about his acne scars and commenting on them or calling him ugly results in him throwing a fit and taking some time to be alone. Bringing up his weight is likely to cause the same reaction.
The idea of having friends does not interest Dustin, unless he has the most to gain from it. He is known to flock to other people when he needs advice and expects them to manually fix his problems, but when anyone wants to talk to him in return he ignores them to play more Portal, only to come back later playing the victim after he realizes that they're pissed off. He is also a master in the art of using people, which he exercises on his "fans" and site partners. Oh, and he adopted a cat from a shelter and had it for less than a week before sending it back because it wanted him to pet it.
He also has a tendency to tell people how to do things that he isn't able to do himself. This is due to his attention-seeking narcissistic behavior and need to out-do everyone else.
Sex Life
Dustin has admitted to being "bi-sexual" on his old forum, but quickly deleted the thread after some time, claiming that now he was straight. He has been known to boast about his prowess in the art of fellatio, stating that cum doesn't taste that bad. He has also taken it up the butt from his co-worker when he was still employed at Taco Bell, his favorite place to eat. In his "straight" sexual encounters, he has bragged about how he likes his girls "innocent" virgins, ignorant to sex and has boasted about how tight they are upon contact. Dustin most likely faps to shota in an attempt to justify his real lust for little boys.
Dating Life
It is well known that Dustin uses Silent Hill forums as personal ads and will scope out for people to date. Most of these relationships suffer from his unwarranted self-importance, domestic violence, lack of interest in participating in the relationship and ignoring it to cyber with Rosseter, unrealistic expectations, embezzlement of money, and usually end when they find his collection of gay child porn downloaded from Limewire. This is mostly because he feels that his life follows the events of Eternal Sunshine: of the Spotless Mind and shitty Disney fairytales. Dustin likes to think of himself as the Gaston of these relationships, despite that he is in fact the drooling little autistic girl in the corner that puts marbles in her vagina. He also has a tendency to propose on the first date. In order to date this successful dream boat, you must:
- Be under the age of 20
- Know as little as possible about sex
- Be open to trying new things
- Be bipolar and have a personality disorder
- Understand that his PS3 comes before you
- Understand that Rosseter comes before you
- Have a penis
Fungo Review
—Fungo Review viewer, noting Dustin's charm. | ||
—Another viewer, pleased with Dustin's work. | ||
Sometime in mid-2009, Dustin grew tired of recording himself playing Silent Hill. Thus he decided to do something completely different and original: record himself playing old video games! Dustin started out reviewing survival-horror pioneers, such as D and Alone in the Dark; actually, that's all that he's really reviewed. His reviews tend to be bastard children of the Angry Video Game Nerd, the Nostalgia Critic, and the Irate Gamer, in that he reviews older games that have a well-known reputation wrapped in a poorly acted, boring little package. He also has his own theme song and music throughout the reviews, but since it's shitty stock techno, it is obviously crap. Dustin's reviews are usually lacking in proper info and rarely mention any pros, which the archetype of his work, AVGN, can do with games that actually are really bad. This is likely due to the fact that he is too lazy and always does half-assed work. He also uses Sony Vegas effects constantly, most notably when he references being on hallucinogenics in almost every video review he makes. According to these videos, Dustin thinks that licking beetles and taking Gas-X pills will produce an LSD trip.
After only making a few video game reviews, Dustin began reviewing new movies under the persona of Señor Fungo, which totally didn't rip-off Nostalgia Critic's Bum Reviews. He dresses up in a dirty pedophile Jesus cosplay and talks in a really bad Cheech Marin parody voice, creating anti-lulz of epic proportion.
As of February 2, 2011, he hasn't posted a new review in close to a year. His viewers keep asking for updates, but with his track record, he will most likely never make any more because they're too hard. Despite this, he keeps making false promises about new reviews that never get uploaded and his fans lap it up. This buys Dustin more time to felch with Rosseter.
Dustin has recently made the claim on his FungoReview channel that his review videos will continue on TwinPerfect's website. Whether this is more of Dustin's horseshit or is actually true is unknown. You can expect to find the same quality you have seen in past reviews.
TwinPerfect and The REAL Silent Hill Experience
After the announcement of Rosseter and Dustin's Silent Hill Documentary at least 100 years ago, they finally released it on October 31st, 2010 to coincide with the release of their production site, TwinPerfect. It debuted as "The REAL Silent Hill Experience" spanning two-and-a-half hours and was broken into 13 segments of oldfags sitting on a couch nerd raging about why Japan is so amazing at everything. In the process of the release, they threatened to block people from their YouTube channel for criticism and gave direct responses to ass licks. Eventually the new Silent Hill producers and the strategy guide writer of Silent Hill 2 and 3 caught wind of the videos and criticized them, resulting in Ross and Dustin backing into a corner like little Wapanese girls.
—Devin Shatsky, Silent Hill Producer | ||
—Tomm Hulett, Silent Hill Producer | ||
—Dan Birlew, strategy guide writer | ||
They edited out the section where they blamed the writer for the series lacking in more Wapanese content and edited the criticism out of the producer's responses. In the end, they pull the internet is serious business card and make shit up to back up their ideas. Realizing how bad it is that the people that matter don't even like their project, they edited the videos to look less pathetic, but the nerd rage is still present.
Recent Life
Dustin has also recorded himself playing Silent Hill 2 and edited it together to make a "movie". Again, he gives himself too much credit to the point of treating it as his own film, even releasing a director's cut (despite the fact that he also made the first cut) and a DVD. He also shows that he is still unable to handle criticism, ignoring people that don't boost his ego. The game's original soundtrack is clipped out and replaced with music that he found fitting, which basically means it sucks.
Great lulz were had from crediting himself in the intro, using what was meant to be his name in Japanese, but really translated to the word "knock". Dustin states the error must have been from his "translation research or it may be a problem with the Japanese character pack installed on [his] computer", despite the fact that if you ask Google to translate "Fungo" it gives you "nokku". This only further proves that Dustin is, in fact, full of horse shit.
—Dustin, trying too hard. | ||
Gallery
See Also
Say Hi!
- Xbox Live Gamertag: The Fungo
- Playstation Network Username: Fungo
- AIM, Yahoo Messenger: dustfungo
- MSN Messenger: [email protected], [email protected]
- Skype: dustfungus
- http://profile.mygamercard.net/The%20Fungo - Gamertag info
- http://www.facebook.com/dustfungo - Failbook account
- http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=8813544052 - abandoned Bebo account
- http://www.gametrailers.com/users/Fungo/ - Game Trailers account
- http://silenthillmedia.net/home.htm - his Silent Hill website
- http://www.twin-perfect.com/ - TwinPerfect's website
- http://www.youtube.com/user/fungo - his main YouTube account
- http://www.youtube.com/user/fungoreview - his secondary review channel
- http://www.youtube.com/user/TwinPerfectChannel - the TwinPerfect channel