Foursquare

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A lot better than using Craigslist's adult services.

While browsing the wonderful world of the internets, it will come to no surprise that many will come across social networking sites like Failbook and MySpazz. To many, the creation of more social networking sites will cause an annoyance while to others a better opportunity to whore themselves as much as possible where ever, whenever. March 11, 2009 was the day of the creation of yet another useful website dedicated to the increasingly-large social savvy community on the Internet, called Foursquare. Of course, like all the other websites like it, Whoresquare is ran by greedy Jews exploiting the youth and letting pedophiles stalk tweenage brats with a major case of USI who believe that everyone think they're a pretty big deal.

Whoresquare is essentially like Twitter mixed with more location-based functions so people can know where you are at all times. With it, users use their cheap free on-contract Nokia phones that their parents bought instead of the new iPhone to "check-in" at a certain spot so people can know where they are at the moment. Strangely enough, most people on there (people like You) have very boring lives and makes the service quite useless (like you).

Days Before

Foursquare started out as a service only made for the iPhone in select cities for Americunts which was a very huge drawback. Using a hipster phone with such amazing service, many stalkers found it nearly impossible to track down their victims as the updates wouldn't show up on time. And with these complaints, the creators of the service decided to release it on other mobile devices to which benefited those who needed to know where their closet friends were making things more convenient.

Of course, there was more to Foursquare's past besides the service itself. Just like Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Foursquare was also a college student who stole the idea from some Indian guy who ended up working at as a Telemarketer. Before Foursquare, there was Dodgeball which was bought by The Google and shifted into Google Latitude. With this buy out, Google proved to be able to make even more profit by stealing people's ideas legitimately by buying them out and inserting "Google" into the name of said service. This of course, didn't leave the four-squares' happy and thus the birth of a new, unneeded social networking website. Although it hasn't reached the amount of success as other social networking sites built for stalkers and whores, its been getting somewhere....albeit not very far.

Useless Features

Unlike its competitors, Whoresquare has introduced somewhat of a game-styled service which depraves of its user's life and time even more (provided they even had one to begin with). As it is a web and mobile application, users update their location and are awarded points for checking-in. Users can also get badges for checking-in to certain areas, however badges and points don't necessarily do anything useful. In a nutshell, they're just a pathetic excuse to give users to brag about their rather small e-penis. There has also been a push-notifications system dubbed "Pings", so users can know when and where their friends have updated right when they update their location.

Statuses

Regular User

Hipsters make up about most of demographic. Of course they'll all leave when Foursquare becomes popular.

Doesn't take much to achieve this. So simple, even You can do it right....possibly. Becoming a regular user is the first step into getting yourself stuck into the attention whoring game that is Foursquare. The best suggestion is to not register at all considering it's your best bet at not wasting your time with something not worth the time or effort. At least it requires you to go outside so you don't have to be stuck in your room playing Elder Scrolls all day.

Mayorship

Much like the important achievements on Xbox Live, people one Whoresquare usually tend to get tons of badges and points. Although both very useless IRL, they have been proven to be quite valuable within the site. Examples may include "Mayorship" in which a user checks a certain spot for over 60-days (such as the basement in your mom's house). Once they have done so, they will be crowned the title and their picture of themself with their hideous neckbeard will be visible on the map for all to envy and laugh at. This, however, can be changed if another member decides to check in that particular location more than the previous mayor. The battle for mayorship is an easy way to troll others and is usually as pointless as an edit war on TOW.

Superuser

To become a superuser, you'll pretty much have to sell your life to Foursquare. Superusers typically have more features unlocked for them, yet are still not very important. Superusers have typically developed a habit or were smart enough to use hax so they didn't have to leave home.

Cheating on Foursquare

What, you didn't think people could cheat on Foursquare? The methods aren't exactly too difficult to cheat and acquire mayorships and badges. Some methods of cheating have required smart phones using mock locations and then to check in acquiring needed points. Cheating happens to be an easy way to troll and make butthurt users rage so don't be surprised if they rat you out. Another simple method is as followed

1. Go on the mobile site
2. Check in
3. Choose the place you want to check in, write its name and press Check-in

That's pretty much all there is to it. Enjoy being anti-social and acquiring your useless point! Of course, there have been many cases of cheaters being caught and being stripped of their points or have their entire account baleeted. And nothing of value was lost.

See Also

• Facebook
• Myspace
• Twitter

External Links

• The website