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Time Cube

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Gene Ray poses with his Time Cube, which also doubles as a disco dance floor.
Harnessing your toilet's 4 sides since 1986.
Irrefutable proof that Time Cube is true.
Time Cube deity.
NATURES HARMONIC 4-DAY TIME CUBE IS THE TRUTH. YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID BY YOUR GOVERNMENT AND SCHOOLS TO BELIEVE THAT THERE IS ONE DAY, WHEN IT IS CLEAR TO ALL ENTITIES THAT THERE ARE 4 SIMULTANEOUS CUBED DAYS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME, THANKS TO THE UNITED STATES AND THE JEWS. EVIL ACADEMIC BASTARDS WHO PREACH THE ONE TIME THEORY ARE KEEPING YOU STUPID AND SHOULD BE KILLED. GOVERNMENT, RELIGION AND CORPORATE MONEYMOGULS ARE ALSO EVIL FOR SUPPRESSING TIME CUBE, AND NEED TO BE HANGED AT GALLOWS IF THEY DO NOT CHANGE THEIR WAYS.

TIME CUBE TRUTHS COMMON KNOWLEDGE

  • TIME CUBE IS A "T.O.E." - THEORY OF EVERYTHING: TIME, LIFE AND TRUTH. TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE MAKES YOU EVIL.
  • THERE ARE FOUR 24 HOUR DAYS ON THE PLANET EARTH.
  • HUMAN LIFE IS A "CRAP SHOOT." MALES AND FEMALES ARE TWO SEPARATE CUBES.
  • GENE RAY, TIME CUBE REVEALER, IS THE WORLDS SMARTEST HUMAN BEING. HE IS ALSO A COUSIN OF PIRAT PONTON.
  • HUMANS ARE CUBES, NOT ENTITIES.
  • MIDNIGHT BE BLACK RACE DAY.
  • MATH IS TEH EVIL. ALL NUMBERS EQUAL ZERO.
  • HOW COULD CUBELESS JEW GOD-QUEER CREATE MAN FROM DIRT WHEN BODY IS 75 PERCENT WATER.
  • WORD ADULTISM IS ANTI-CHILD.
  • MAN IS PERSONIFIED PYRAMID; THE HEAD IS MADE OF FOUR CORNERS - TWO, EARS NOSE, AND BACK CORNER.
  • TIME IS CUBIC NOT LINEAR. NO THIS IS NOT A RUBIX CUBE HAHAHA LOL0RZ HAX0RZ
  • A MOTHER AND A BABY ARE THE SAME AGE: 16 YEARS OLD
  • CUBED NATURE IS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND, SO ALL EXPLANATION MUST BE DONE IN ALL CAPS FONT SIZE=5.
  • OBAMA MUST RESIGN TO SAVE HIS PEOPLE FROM HIS CATASTROPHE. SUN POWER WILL NOT ALLOW ANY BLACK SKIN POWER TO RULE OVER IT'S LIGHT DOMAIN.

  • Dramatic Possibilities

    LINUX CUBE IS TRUTH, SINGLE DESKTOP ENVIRONMENTS ARE A LIE
    TIME CUBE KILLED JESUS FOR YOUR STUPID-EDUCATED SINS

    (NOTE: BELOW, THE FAGGOTY PORTION OF THIS ENTRY BEGINS, DENOTED BY THE FACT IT IS NOT IN CAPS, AND IS OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN BY A PRETENTIOUS JEW.) First, Time Cubers are absolute nutjobs; only Alex Chiu comes close for sheer amounts of certifiable insanity. They typically type in all-caps, they believe bullshit theories about the universe, and are as elitist as your resident indie fucktard. Thus, it's very easy to troll them.

    • Say there's only one time.

    YEAH THE TIME OF THE CUBE

    • Say 1 + 1 = 2. They HATE that.

    ONE CUBE+ONE CUBE=TWO CUBES, SO WHAT STUPID JEW

    • Say that cubes have 6 sides, not 4.

    YEAH SMARTASS, BUT 6x4=24 (HOURS OF THE DAY)

    • Say that Gene Ray is a schizophrenic.

    MOST GENIUSES WERE/ARE CRAZY AS HELL, JEWS THOUGHT JESUS WAS CRAZY TOO.

    If you want, it's extremely simple to act like a Time Cuber. The caps lock is your best friend in this case, but you have other opportunities:

    • Blame everything on the Jews. Yes, we know, everything is already their fault, but since they're already responsible for world hunger, war, and Quasidan, we may as well blame fake things on them, too.
    • Don't type anything in understandable plain English. Expect others to understand your incoherent babbling anyways and act like they're stupid if all they can respond with is lol wut.
    • Whenever someone claims a fact, say "You are educated stupid," and begin ranting about the evil academic agenda. E-points if you can a) blame it on multiple groups, or b) come up with unique ways to kill said groups. Gene Ray prefers crucifixion or burning in Hell - strange for someone who claims to not believe in God - but your mileage may vary.
    • The fewer facts you can cite, the more successful your Time Cube argument will become. Wager money on it! Offer to kill your children! Claim that your amazing and superior Time Cube ideas are being silenced by the evil academics! The possibilities are endless!

    (NOTE: PRETENTIOUS JEW IS DONE BESTOWING US WITH HIS INFINITE WISDOM, AND IS NOW MASSAGING HIS BALLS WITH CRISCO.)

    Time Cube - The Gene Ray Interview

    Possible true form of the Time Cube

    TechTV interviewed Gene Ray, the Time Cube Theory creator, on June 18 2003. Was he two sides short of a full cube? You decide.

    Time Cube - Gene Ray Interview

       
     
    It is the only principle that has saved humans from self-destruction. Like Easter Island...they ate the chickens...then they started practicing cannibalism. The US is on the same path, it is just a larger island.
     

     
     

    —Gene Ray

    Richard Janczarsky: Time Cube An Hero

    Gene Ray's protege and scrotum masseuse. The world's 2nd wisest human and OH SO MUCH LULZier than his sith master. He walked into a train and became an hero and a winrar. You should also attempt this.

    16 wise insights

    PROOF OF TIME CUBE

    CANT DO THESE IN FIRST WORLD AWAKE MODE?
    
    STARE AT AN OBJECT ON A WALL <---- MAKE IT FALL
    USE A DIMMER SWITCH TO PUT AN ELECTRICAL OBJECT ON THE EDGE ----> MAKE IT TWITCH
    LISTEN TO A RECORD ---> ABSORB THE THOUGHTFORMS TRANSFORM SITUATIONS THRU THE GUIDES PATH
    HOLD TWO MIRRORS UP TO EACH OTHER --> watch your self reflect back onto a reflection of a reflection of illusion OF A TIME CUBE
    UNPLUG YOUR COMPUTER ---> hypnagogic black TIME CUBE
    MAKE A LIST <---- CHECK IT TWICE
    SWEAT--->
    SWEAT---> SWEAT--->
    SWEAT---> SWEAT---> TIME CUBE
    SWEAT--->
    MASTER YOUR DREAMS--> to --> ENSLAVE YOUR WAKENESS --> to ---> MASTER THE INFINITE DREAM------> FIND OUT IF YOU'RE NAUGHTY OR NICE
    FIND SANTA <----MAKE HIM SHIMMER
    DISSOLVE ---> UNDERSTAND THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT
    I ONLY EXISTS IN YOUR HEAD
    YOU IS BULLSHIT

    See Also

    Truth.

    External Links

    Disprove it. You can't, because you were educated stupid.

    Time Cube is part of a series on

    SCIENCE!

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    Time Cube is part of a series on

    Truth

    Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

    Featured article June 30, 2006
    Preceded by
    Dramouted
    Time Cube Succeeded by
    Illemonati