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User:Hipcrime/Hipcrime Appreciation Station

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Hipcrime and friend visit New York City
Yes, it is exactly what it looks like

Sign your names, and place the {{hipcrime}} template on your userpage.

  • SSIGNING THIS IWTHI HM Y DICK Oliver Hart 16:36, 8 March 2014 (EST)
  • h --KrouseMD 01:38, 19 June 2012 (EDT)

Dicks is the best topic Omegaism 23:59, 18 June 2012 (EDT)

This colostomy bag was BANNED for their faggotry.
You can help by learning from their mistakes.
Vandalizing their user page with Pain Series attacks never hurts either.

















































































































































































































































































































































































































KILL

YOURSELF

FAGGOT



KILL

YOURSELF

FAGGOT

~Oblique 00:08, 17 January 2012 (CET)

  • If hipcrime didn't speak, he'd be a hipmime. Equivamptalk 16:51, 2 March 2012 (EST)
  • First friend on ED Sirkillsalot 06:02, 5 March 2012 (EST)
  • If hipcrime was a rapper, he'd be hiprhymes. FUCK SOMEONE ALREADY DID THAT. --Edgeworth E. Euler 01:22, 11 March 2012 (EST)
  • If hipcrime was a fine steak, he'd be a hip-prime. --Edgeworth E. Euler 01:24, 11 March 2012 (EST)
  • If hipcrime were a bell, he'd be a hipchime.--Shitfacedcockmasta 20:02, 14 March 2012 (EDT)
  • If hipcrime went to German prison, he'd be in Stammheim for his hipcrimes. Lorentz 04:21, 26 March 2012 (EDT)
  • I thank your parents who have fucked a light into this dark, cold, cruel world. <video type="youtube" id="d2ijL2tljdI&autoplay=0&loop=0&start=36" height="25" width="30" position="left" frame="false" /> DekoMan91 13:19, 28 March 2012 (EDT)
Kinda liek this.
  • If hipcrime were a midget, he'd be a hipmidget. --MilænorTSW 02:04, 29 March 2012 (EDT)

The two worst stories ever told

10:14| [scatteredsong] what if a guy was menstruating thru his penis and cumming
10:14| [scatteredsong] would u still swallow?
10:15| [hipcrime] ive had menses in my mouth before
10:15| [evilmatcha] just makes it slightly saltier, and a little metallic.
10:15| [scatteredsong] ahh
10:15| [Nick] hipcrime changes nick to [dr_hipcrime]
10:16| [dr_hipcrime] let me tell you how i came to have menses in my mouf
10:16| [scatteredsong] probably loaded with vitamins
10:16| [evilmatcha] and protein
10:16| [dr_hipcrime] i was buying crack, you see
10:16| [dr_hipcrime] the crack is wrapped usually, and popped out of the snatch of the chick dealing it
10:17| [dr_hipcrime] well my chick that day was cranky (so ot speak)
10:17| [evilmatcha] yes?
10:17| [NegiSpringfield] woo
10:17| [NegiSpringfield] woo
10:17| [NegiSpringfield] crack
10:17| [dr_hipcrime] but i gave her my money and she gave me my dope
10:18| [dr_hipcrime] standard practice is to put it in your mouf. the reasons are twofold
10:18| [dr_hipcrime] a) if you put it in your mouf you are not a cop cuz that = ingestion and cops cant ingest it
10:18| [Nick] z3PO changes nick to [zaiger]
10:19| [dr_hipcrime] b) closer to the throat that may need to swallow the dope if necessary
10:19| [dr_hipcrime] so i saw the baggie had menses on it
10:20| [dr_hipcrime] and i looked at the girl and she said put it in your mouf
10:20| [dr_hipcrime] and i did
10:20| [Cunt_Destroyer] :(
10:20| [Cunt_Destroyer] D:
10:20| [Cunt_Destroyer] WHAT
10:20| [dr_hipcrime] it was salty
10:20| [scatteredsong] cool story bro
10:20| [Cunt_Destroyer] WHY
10:20| [dr_hipcrime] this is true
10:20| [dr_hipcrime] i had crazy times in the 2000s
10:20| [dr_hipcrime] why? i had to store the dope
10:21| [dr_hipcrime] they make you put it in your mouf
10:21| [dr_hipcrime] this is about 2004 or 5 when i first started
10:21| [dr_hipcrime] i was disgusted but did it anyway
10:21| [dr_hipcrime] and thats how i came to have menses in my mouf
10:22| [Nick] dr_hipcrime changes nick to [hipcrime]
10:23| [evilmatcha] I'd do a lot of things... putting crack dealer menses in ma mouf is not one of them.
10:25| [NegiSpringfield] O_O
10:25| [NegiSpringfield] yes
10:29| [hipcrime] its amazing the things i never thought id do
10:29| [hipcrime] before i became a crackhead
10:29| [weev] thats disgusting
10:29| [weev] thats the most disgusting thing
10:29| [hipcrime] lol
10:29| [weev] ive ever heard
10:29| [weev] i have done
10:29| [weev] a whole lot of crack
10:29| [weev] and not ONCE
10:30| [weev] has it lead to me putting menses in my mouth
10:30| [weev] you DISGUST me
10:30| [evilmatcha] lol
10:30| [hipcrime] lol
10:30| [hipcrime] it was on turk and taylor
10:30| [hipcrime] one of my favorite girls
10:31| [hipcrime] once they drop it in your hand its bought
10:31| [hipcrime] so
10:31| [hipcrime] not a lot i could do
10:31| [hipcrime] except put the menses covered baggie of crack in my mouf
10:32| [hipcrime] and go home and smoke
10:32| [weev] why didnt you at least
10:32| [weev] take the crackrocks out of the bag
10:32| [weev] and put them in your mouth
10:32| [weev] and then put them back in the bag
10:32| [weev] god i dont evne like
10:32| [weev] wanna think
10:32| [hipcrime] it was on turk and taylor. i was in a hurry
10:32| [weev] okay okay
10:32| [weev] let me ask you this
10:32| [weev] what ethnicity
10:32| [Astrozombies: barfs]
10:32| [weev] was the crack daeler
10:32| [hipcrime] she was black
10:32| [weev] was she black?
10:32| [weev] DISGUSTING
10:32| [Cunt_Destroyer] duh
10:32| [weev] DISGUSTING
10:32| [hipcrime] the blacker the skin the better the deal
10:32| [weev] DISGUSTING
10:32| [weev] DISGUSTING
10:32| [evilmatcha] fuck
10:32| [Cunt_Destroyer] ohf course she was black
10:32| [weev] YOUVE HAD FUCKING
10:32| [weev] NIGGER PERIOD BLOOD CLOTS
10:32| [hipcrime] yes
10:33| [weev] IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH
10:33| [hipcrime] yes
10:33| [hipcrime] i have
10:33| [weev] GOD THATS DISGUSTING
10:33| [weev] thats basically
10:33| [Astrozombies: barfs IRL]
10:33| [weev] the single lowest thing ive ever heard anybody do
10:33| [hipcrime] yep
10:33| [weev] for drugs
10:33| [weev] well not really
10:33| [weev] ive heard far worse
10:33| [weev] like a girl lettin a taem of nigger apes run a train on her
10:33| [weev] for heroin
10:33| [weev] but
10:33| [weev] still
10:33| [hipcrime] ah the succulent sizzle of crack
10:33| [weev] p gross
10:33| [Cunt_Destroyer] did you tell us why it had blood on it to begin with?
10:34| [Astrozombies] she was hiding it in there
10:34| [hipcrime] yes
10:34| [Cunt_Destroyer] oh of course
10:34| [Astrozombies] saving it for later, special reserve.
10:34| [Cunt_Destroyer] of course she was
10:34| [NegiSpringfield] oh dear god
10:34| [NegiSpringfield] enough
10:34| [hipcrime] they pop it out and you have to put it in your mouf or dont get server again
10:35| [Cunt_Destroyer] selling drugs = good
10:35| [Cunt_Destroyer] bottom tier buying = bad
10:35| [weev] hipcrime: you disgust me
10:35| [hipcrime] there may be pix of meduring that era
10:36| [hipcrime] i thought it was funny
10:36| [hipcrime] =(
10:36| [Astrozombies] I'm really
10:36| [Astrozombies] so nauseated
10:36| [weev] yeah
10:36| [weev] im still thinking
10:36| [weev] about the texture of nigger period blood clots
10:36| [weev] in somebodys mouth
10:36| [weev] and the metallic taste
10:36| [hipcrime] in any case the crack was excellent
10:36| [Astrozombies] ughhhhhhu weev
10:36| [Astrozombies] stop
10:36| [weev] Astrozombies: lol
10:36| [Astrozombies] :[
10:36| [weev] loooool
10:36| [hipcrime] yes it tasted like rust
10:36| [weev] and you really gotta think
10:36| [Cunt_Destroyer] haha
10:36| [weev] what the nigger looked like
10:37| [Astrozombies] I'm trying really hard not to gag right now
10:37| [weev] youve really got to imagine this ugly nigger crackhead
10:37| [weev] and the bag being pulled out
10:37| [weev] covered in period bloog clots
10:37| [weev] and hipcrime sticks that shit in his mouth
10:37| [weev] for them to dissolve
10:37| [Astrozombies] hipcrime was the crack good?
10:37| [Astrozombies] at least
10:37| [weev] 07:36 <%hipcrime> in any case the crack was excellent
10:37| [Astrozombies] oh, i missed that.
10:38| [Astrozombies] thanks
10:38| [Astrozombies] herp
10:38| [hipcrime] dammit people irl are trying to talk at me dammit
10:38| [hipcrime] yes it tasted like rust
10:38| [Cunt_Destroyer] this has been good wiki discussion
10:38| [weev] herp is what hipcrime got
10:38| [Astrozombies] LOL
10:38| [weev] from the nigger period blood
10:38| [weev] as well as hepatitis
10:38| [weev] and AIDS
10:38| [hipcrime] yes there was the ever present knowledge of the possibiliy of diseaze
10:38| [weev] and hpv in his mouth
10:38| [weev] hipcrime is now a plague dog
10:38| [hipcrime] yep
10:38| [hipcrime] larry moe and curly syndrome
10:39| [hipcrime] it wasnt like buried in a clot
10:39| [hipcrime] it had menstrual blood on it
10:39| [NegiSpringfield] >moe
10:39| [hipcrime] there was some on the crack too
10:39| [NegiSpringfield] >moe
10:39| [NegiSpringfield] ha ha
10:39| [evilmatcha] it only takes a little menstrual blood to unleash the gates of hell
10:40| [hipcrime] but not enough to affect the way it burned
10:40| [hipcrime] now i want crack
10:40| [hipcrime] with menses
10:40| [NegiSpringfield] it's addictive
10:40| [weev] lol
10:40| [NegiSpringfield] o_o
10:40| [Cunt_Destroyer] nothing beats the smell of semen and menses
10:40| [NegiSpringfield] oh okay not that way
10:40| [NegiSpringfield] that way it's sick
10:40| [hipcrime] people in the frucking real life are all trung to talk to me fuck fucki
10:40| [scatteredsong] i like the smell of semen oozing out of a freshly pounded asshole best, personally
10:41| [NegiSpringfield] :o scatteredsong :p
10:41| [scatteredsong] this one guy i fucked
10:41| [scatteredsong] would not get up after i fucked him
10:41| [scatteredsong] because he said he wanted his cum inside me as long as possible
10:41| [Astrozombies] I believe they call it a strawberry shortcake when you eat period blood
10:42| [scatteredsong] inside him*
10:44| [Astrozombies] well
10:44| [Astrozombies] I gotta say, I woke up this morning, walked to school, found out there was no school and was pretty pysched to come home and eat breakfast.
10:44| [Astrozombies] FUCK THAT NOW.
10:44| [Astrozombies] :[
10:45| [scatteredsong] astro: cock pix plz
10:45| [Astrozombies] underage
10:45| [scatteredsong] .....
10:46| [Astrozombies] shotastrozombie
10:46| [hipcrime] did you really puke astrozombies?
10:46| [evilmatcha] at least you didn't get cyberraped by scatteredsong.
10:47| [scatteredsong] evilmatcha: you are legal
10:47| [NegiSpringfield] shotastrozombies lolwat
10:48| [evilmatcha] unfortunately yes
10:49| [Astrozombies] hipcrime gagged,
10:49| [hipcrime] lol
10:49| [hipcrime] sorry.
10:50| [hipcrime] i seem to have disgusted weev.
10:50| [hipcrime] but.
10:50| [hipcrime] party hard
10:50| [scatteredsong] is it my fault evilmatcha has a tight asshole begging to be plugged?
10:50| [scatteredsong] cmon
10:50| [NegiSpringfield] and me
10:50| [NegiSpringfield] me too
10:50| [NegiSpringfield] I was disgusted
10:51| [Astrozombies] I'm very unsettled
10:51| [Astrozombies] I love you hipcrime but please, never bring that up again
10:51| [hipcrime] i apologize to anyone who gagged. the rest of you can suffer a little
10:51| [hipcrime] why its an awesome story
10:51| [hipcrime] it disgusted men who are clearly internet savvy
10:52| [hipcrime] i wonder how easily weev is disgusted.
10:52| [Join] [this_is_mason]
10:52| [hipcrime] but i wont bring it up while youre around astrozombies
10:53| [hipcrime] thats like tame compared to other shit ive done but i reckon its time to stop
10:53| [this_is_mason] yes
10:54| [hipcrime] =D
10:54| [evilmatcha] I'm interested now... anything that tops nigger menses ingestion?
10:54| [hipcrime] <zip>
10:54| [scatteredsong] <unzips>
10:55| [hipcrime] ive already made astro puke and disgusted a respected member
10:55| [evilmatcha] disgust is not necessarily a bad thing
10:55| [evilmatcha] so...
10:55| [scatteredsong] im into roman showers....
10:55| [scatteredsong] so....
10:55| [hipcrime] go on
10:56| [scatteredsong] well if astro were licking me softly
10:56| [scatteredsong] with his soft tongue
10:56| [NegiSpringfield] 凄い
10:56| [NegiSpringfield] sugoi
10:56| [scatteredsong] and then i used both hands and jammed his head down as far as i could on my dick
10:56| [evilmatcha] and so it begins
10:57| [scatteredsong] and held it tight
10:57| [hipcrime] hawt
10:57| [scatteredsong] = roman shower possibility
10:57| [hipcrime] go on
10:57| [scatteredsong] the cum mingling with the vomit
10:57| [hipcrime] oo
10:57| [hipcrime] go on
10:57| [hipcrime] ok jk
10:58| [scatteredsong] (guise: do you think astro is into me?)
10:58| [scatteredsong] be honest
10:58| [evilmatcha] I think so.
10:58| [scatteredsong] should i surprise him with a rose and my viagra-hardened penis?
10:58| [hipcrime] yes
10:59| [evilmatcha] put the rose INTO your viagra hardened penis
10:59| [scatteredsong] kinky....
10:59| [evilmatcha] that'd win anyones heart
10:59| [evilmatcha] Rose flag of love
10:59| [scatteredsong] ok im done now, too creepy
10:59| [scatteredsong] even for me
11:00| [evilmatcha] lol
11:00| [hipcrime] ok lemme tell you about the time i smoked poop
11:01| [Nick] hipcrime changes nick to [dr_hipcrime]
11:01| [dr_hipcrime] ok so me and my ex pedro liked to smoke crack together in the peep theatre
11:01| [Quit] [this_is_mason] [Client exited]
11:01| [evilmatcha] yes?
11:02| [dr_hipcrime] hm.
11:02| [dr_hipcrime] this is mason left
11:02| [dr_hipcrime] ok lemme tell this in #ed
11:02| [dr_hipcrime] no
11:02| [dr_hipcrime] here is good.
11:02| [scatteredsong] i like the concept pf desecrating #wiki
11:02| [dr_hipcrime] ok so me and my ex pedro liked to smoke crack together in the peep theatre
11:03| [dr_hipcrime] and do things to each other thru teh holes
11:03| [dr_hipcrime] well pedro wanted me to finger hsi ass trhough the hole
11:03| [dr_hipcrime] so i did
11:03| [dr_hipcrime] it is dark in those booths. peep hteatre is the wrong word
11:04| [dr_hipcrime] arcade booths. preview bopths, etc
11:04| [dr_hipcrime] so its dark, i just fingered my exs ass
11:04| [dr_hipcrime] unaware that he was undouched
11:04| [dr_hipcrime] and there was shit on my finger when i reloaded my next hit
11:05| [dr_hipcrime] these are smelly places so i didnt notice the stechn of poop until i lit it
11:05| [dr_hipcrime] and smoked it
11:05| [dr_hipcrime] so ive smoked my exs poop
11:05| [Nick] dr_hipcrime changes nick to [hipcrime]



  • I love Hipcrime more than I love puppies, and kittens, and cookies, and hugs, and hardcore anal fisting. 14:06, 30 July 2012 (EDT)
  • Hipcrime is okay some of the time. Pageblanker 15:15, 7 August 2012 (EDT)
  • If Hipcrime were a disease, he'd be hiplyme.--CrackRabbit 20:37, 9 August 2012 (EDT)
  • If Hipcrime vandalized OhI he'd be known as ripcrime. --Edgeworth E. Euler 12:34, 20 September 2012 (EDT)
  • hai hipcrime -Rory 10:15, 21 September 2012 (EDT)
  • If hipcrime were even more of an oldfag, he'd be crayolacrime. --Andrés (talkplx) 16:31, 26 October 2012 (EDT)
  • If Hipcrime were a coin, he'd be Hipdime. SWfan 19:15, 26 October 2012 (EDT)
  • If hipcrime were a boat, he'd be shipcrime. Mike the Great (talk) 03:29, 3 November 2012 (EDT)
  • You sir win the coveted golden dildo award for best person on ED. Dildo Baggins 02:41, 15 November 2012 (EST)
  • .....and an angel visited AE-tan and told her, "You will give birth to an awesome dude, and his name will be Hipcrime...... - Book of Lulz, 1:23 DarkLordTR 03:21, 15 November 2012 (EST)DarkLordTR
  • Keep up the diligent work. --Nujen 07:39, 26 November 2012 (EST)
  • If hipcrime were a game, he'd be bitcrime. --Zozmal 17:04, 29 November 2012 (EST)
  • If hipcrime were to have a girlfriend, hed be called straightcrime -NKO PLZ RÆP MAH FACE 19:52, 30 November 2012 (EST)
  • if hipcrime were a gay bar, it'd be known as stripcrime -NKO PLZ RÆP MAH FACE 19:56, 30 November 2012 (EST)
  • If hipcrime were gay, he'd be hipcrime. --YRT (Currently online) 14:42, 17 February 2013 (EST)
  • If they sold hipcrime dolls, I would put a fleshlight inside of mine. BakaRed 04:09, 22 February 2013 (EST)
  • Bestest persun evar--UsmellLiekButt~Shoopdawoop6 16:29, 1 March 2013 (EST)
  • Bryan See Reply · Contributions 06:10, 6 March 2013 (EST)
  • signed - disassemblyline | talk | contribs 15:54, 8 March 2013 (EST)
  • hipcrime is better than you. ROR - Tark 00:56, 15 March 2013 (EDT)

Puddles 21:50, 6 May 2013 (EDT)

  • Hipcrime: is a beast

.--Paul Atreides 19:20, 3 September 2013 (EDT)

  • Hipcrime doesn't tell witty remarks. He tells quipcrimes. Danieltepeskraus USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST 01:06, 2 November 2013 (EDT)
  • Hipcrime is best pony! : ) ChickenBoo 03:38, 28 November 2013 (EDT)
  • If hipcrime was confectionery, he'd be Hipdaim. --Nujen 06:07, 29 November 2013 (EST)
  • lol just 4 u

18:17, 29 December 2013 (EST)

  • I had a fun strip time with Hipcrime. I lost my ED virginity to him <3 Animal 21:19, 2 January 2014 (EST)
  • Hipcrime is love, hipcrime is desu~

Cunt 13:17, 24 March 2014 (EDT)

  • Hipcrime is my fren on faecplace and IRL kasper 23:22, 13 June 2014 (CDT)

Who?  Sickpuppy  15:53, 24 July 2014 (EDT)

  • HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU -FaggotOrgyShitSend ur n00dz 08:34, 2 June 2015 (EDT)
  • This page is an ED national treasure. .wil 22:54, 29 April 2021 (EDT)
  • Lemme get in on some of this rainbow LOLDONGS 10:09, 12 June 2021 (EDT)
  • Too you, Hipcrime, I say this..
I know there is more of this that is left to be found; I promise to find what is lost, and bring this place to greatness. If I can't find a way to add it back myself (because, you know, archive and shit), then I will help you the best I can with what I can. Although the irc is lost, we can always think of something new, for we are ED, and we are the greatest. And you, hipcrime, are an extention of that greatness. Why wikipedia rejected you I have no Idea; but it was the worst thing they ever did as wikipedos. We all appreciate what you do for ED everyday. Hellfire (Talk) 20:36 26 June 2021 (EDT)
Poop Branman65 (talk) 20:24, 8 July 2021 (EDT)branman65
21:03, 18 August 2023 (EDT)

hello hipcrime Coelacanth (talk) 22:29, 4 February 2024 (EST)

Because You Know That Ryu Hayabusa Would Hand Naruto His Ass

Sign me up

The PolishPrince (talk) 17:08, 22 March 2023 (EDT)

Thanks for banning then unbanning me lul HellenicTrapstar 21:32, 28 August 2024 (UTC)

See also

Hipcrime/Hipcrime Appreciation Station is part of a series on

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