Thin Skin
Thin Skin (also known as "irritable bitch syndrome" and "IBS") is a colloquialism for a disease often acquired by women in their mid-30's, although it is also present on people new to the internet. Symptoms include the inability to ward off troll particles, starting blogs saying how evil trolls are, and attempts at trying to raise a personal army.
Diagnosis
<video type="youtube" id="H-CAcdta_8I" width="200" height="180" position="right" desc="IBS also causes one's vagina to drip with anticipation at the start of the 700 club"/> The key to successfully treating IBS is early detection. Watch for the following symptoms, and upon seeing them, report immediately to the authorities:
- Severe allergy to being exposed to pictures of Obama that have not been Photoshopped to resemble Hitler or Satan
- Immediate cessation in brain function when told that Jesus said "sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven"
- Insistence that all things Godly and Moral are under assault by the Humanists, Leftists, Communists, Socialists, and Jolly African Americans
- Being a member of a minority who have recently been given equal rights
- Living in a developed country where everything was handed over to them
- Belonging to the Jewish Defense League
- Belonging to any group that starts with "Mothers Against"
- Thinking that you are an animal or have an animal spirit
- Watching daytime religious talk shows
- Browsing Reddit
- Voting for Obama
- Trying to stick up for people that aren't themselves
- Acting serious
- Thinking that they can use the internet to make a difference
- Asperger's syndrome
Victims
Like AIDS, IBS has a number of high-profile victims, who can be looked up to and sought out for solidarity or support. Even relatively unknown victims can become well known due to the uncanny ability to generate drama in the face of opposition.
- Oprah Winfrey
- Jessi Slaughter
- Anita Sarkeesian
- BitingBeaver
- Tom Cruise
- Liberals
- Christians
- SJW
- Muslims
- Love Shy
- 16-year-old girls
- Concerned mothers
- The almost raped
- Biebians
- Zoe Quinn
- Nayzak
- Niggers
- The politically correct
- Alex Mae Muholland
Although some argue thin-skinnedness is a form of cancer, it's important to remember that thin skin is the very lifeblood of the internet, without which there would be no drama and consequentially no lulz.
Treatment
Luckily, there are some time-tested methods for dealing with, and mitigating the effects of, IBS. After strapping the victim to a table for their own protection, complete the following steps to help push the disease into remission:
- Pry their eyes open, and expose to copious quantities of gore until they like it.
- Make them lose their virginity, preferably by paying a nigger in 40's and cocaine to rape them
- Play them songs by Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, and Ozzy Osbourne
- Force them to cross-dress (this severe of a prude is likely repressing a deep-seated need to be the opposite sex)
- Convert them to a faggot IRL since most gays are notably lulzy and immune to flaming.
- Troll them into submission, forcing them to cope by growing a thicker skin
However IBS, like AIDS, TB, Malaria, or any other disease, is easily transmittable and can quickly infect the entire population. The continent of Australia has an 80% infection rate, with rates approaching 50% in Britain and the United States.
The only known cure is massive destruction by way of atomic weapons. This was a great success in Japan, where the resulting scars were so thick that many Japanese now whack off to images of young boys masturbating while being ritually disemboweled. Just think of what we could accomplish by nuking Australia!
See Also
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Thin Skin is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |