Hipcrime

	“	dick after AIDS ridden dick went in and out of your holes, depositing their diseased spooge into each. one particularly sadistic man, who i recall fondly, didn't take kindly to your amateurish attempt at fellatio. "too much teeth" he said, before knocking them all out with a ball pien hammer, at which time you gave him the best bloody gumming he ever felt.	„
	—Hipcrime, dreaming of Wikipedians

Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.

Hipcrime, aka poko and fka Badmachine, is a current ED SysOp and was a reputable TOW editor until they banned the fuck out of him. According to his extinct former user page, after much homosexuality in the 80's, his resulting incontinence led to an unknown period of change in the 90's, and would eventually lead

File:AlisonBadmachine.jpg

The sexiest Wikipedians.

to the discovery of a love for both Encyclopedia Dramatica and Lil B in the 2000's.

Why Wikipedia Doesn't Appreciate Hipcrime

The situation in a nutshell.

	“	You do things deliberately because other people find them offensive, and then pretend you don't know what happened. Drop the bullshit.	„
	—Some asshole at ANI, displaying a mixture of jealousy and butthurt.

Countless times has Hipcrime led holy crusades into the kingdom of TOW, inserting truth, removing vandalism, and defending the lessers of Wikipedia. Although Wikipedia is the alleged "sum of all human knowledge", the majority of Wikipedians have a strong distaste for Hipcrime's perfectly-sourced information, telling him to "go be insensitive somewhere else".

Because Hipcrime was actually enjoying his editing on Wikipedia, some humorless cunt named Rklawton told him "we are here to create and edit an encyclopedia. If you lose sight of this fact, you'll find yourself in opposition to those of us who haven't." But they didn't stop there, as the Wikipedians went onto whine about the glorious 50 penis post that was included on Hipcrime's userpage. While Wikipedia is not censored, they decided it would be best to sperg out about images of the male anatomy on a userpage.

Hipcrime's debut LP, featuring the songs "I'm Not A Troll" and "Sockage."

	“	Badmachine, you have already been pointed to the guideline under which additions of sexually provocative content can be reverted. And yet you appear to be dead set on having the image of a penis on your userpage. Please be aware that the next time you try to add one back, I'll fully protect the page indefinitely.	„

After grudgingly removing his precious penises, Badmachine retaliated by adding a GNAA userbox to his talk page. This caused even worse rectal wreckage in the aspies at Wikipedia because of the GNAA's recent release of thousands of logs from Wikipedia IRC exposing their canvassing, sex chats, and general dickery.

	“	09:05 &poko: funny how four little letters cause wikipedia to shit their drawers.	„

Block #2

Moar info: Qwyrxian.

After replacing the dongs with a boring bio, some power-mad failure named Qwyrxian decided that Hipcrime's userpage was a violation of TOW policy because there was no way to prove that his biography on it was legitimate. This reason being pulled out of his ass because of Qwyrxian's constant Hipcrime-induced rage at Talk:Lil B, a subject Qwyrxian (Aaron Hahn) knows nothing about outside of a single Google search.

The userpage in question

He called a mighty army of meatpuppets to aid him in the block, all of which were later exposed and shut down by ponynigger forces. In a glorious turn of events, Hipcrime was unblocked.

Block #3

Moar info: Ironholds.

	“	[20:19] <Meepsheep> ya but your ban was hilarious	„
	—Meepsheep, a truth machine

Finally, the IRC aspies had enough. A sock was hastily thrown together, and a kangaroo court decided that Badmachine had a multitude of sockpuppets. WMF embarrassment and lowly employee Ironholds (Oliver Keyes) decided enough was enough and set out to remove Hipcrime once and for all. After blocking him, Hipcrime left a reasonable unblock request that was denied by none other than Ironholds' girlfriend. This is seriously how Wikipedia operates.

After Badmachine threatened to expose this travesty of justice, his user talk access was revoked by renowned sandwich artist Deskana, which led to retaliatory action, and ArbCom taking over the block.

Unfortunately, the dicks refused to remove the ban, which promoted much GNAA flooding of Wikipedia IRC, to the point that both #wikipedia-en and #wikipedia were kept on +r for extended periods. Once more, Wikipedia has been trolled, and has lost.

lol

[20:22] <+Ironholds> badmachine, I'm not in any kind of relationship with the declining sysop. Shut your pie-hole.
[20:22] <badmachine> lol
[20:22] <+Ironholds> indeed, for the longest of times she wanted to break my neck
[20:23] <badmachine> what a thing for the community liaison to say
[20:23] <+Ironholds> I'm here in a personal role

The rest, of course, is history.

Fanart

• 
  Original
• 
  By Atomic Joe
• 
  By LA
• 
  By THUNDERPUSSY
• 
  By Clerisy
• 
  By Meepsheep
• 
  By Sketch
• 
  By Challenger
• 
  By Pamela
• 
  By Elisabeth Ohlson
• 
  Hipcrime IRL

See Also

• Ironholds
• Qwyrxian
• ArbCom
• Barnstar
• Willy on Wheels
• The 1000 Titles of Hipcrime
• We love badmachine
• WP:You have no rights

External Links

• Badmachine is all that remains of his censored talk (the rest is archived at Wikipedia:User talk:Badmachine/Archive 1 "blanked as a courtesy" by Wikipedia)
• His old gallery
• Badmachine on the list of banned losers (archive)

Hipcrime is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Hipcrime is part of a series on Wikipedia Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage.

Hipcrime is part of a series on the Gay Nigger Association of America.

Members • Victories • Related BLACK_MAN • DiKKy • fl0ss • Grog • Hipcrime • jesuitx • Jmax • l0de • LiteralKa • Meepsheep • Oliver Hart • Rucas • sloth • Timecop • weev 2012 GNAA Tumblr Ruin • Angryjedi • Cut4Bieber • Diego Grez • Fluttershy • Firefox XPS IRC Attack • The Great Dumbledore Dies Meme of 2005 • HighInBC • JEWS DID WTC • MuZemike • SANDYLOOTCREW • Selery • UK Lootfest 2011 • More.. Dangerman • DiKKv • dongforce • Gayniggers from Outer Space • Goatse Security • Grogv • KLULZ • Last Measure • Linux for Niggers • NCF • Obetrol • Slashdot • Spaceghetto

Hipcrime is part of a series on ED Government

Executive Command Founder Joseph Evers • Lulz Incarnate Ae-tan • Codified Likeness Utility CLU Theocratic Branch Spiritual Advancement Guru Meepsheep • Brother Hipcrime • Our Dear Leader GloriousReader • Hardchat Royalty Likeicare Judicial Branch Judge Boudica • Drama Detective GirlOnInternet • Arbchat • Internet court Intelligence Division Arctic Research Scientist Caku • Chanfig and Professional Memer CrackRabbit • Kentucky Colonel Fleacollerindustry • Cordial Cyborg Jacket • Kaptein-Commandant Conciërge Tabs • E-Detective and Token Straight Guy Zagan Communications Network Jamaican Ambassador ASSBLONKER • Logistics Expert Scumhook • Maysam • Professor A Fucking Box • Commissar MegaManly • Memetic Warfare Director Chimplord • Real Celebrity Paul Rudd Department of Defense "Old Bone" Kleetus • Catalogue Cleaning Crew Cobaltcat • Gooner Killer NEVER GOON Founding Documents ED:Help • ED:101 • ED:LULZ • ED:OATH