GameSpot

GameSpot (also known as "G-spot") is a lying, shitty and bullshit video game review website run by middle-aged I.T. dropouts and fanboys coasting by until they get job in PR or advertising, which companies can pay big marketing dollars to get their shitty games 9.5/10s.

Reviews

As you can see, their most recent ratings suffer from an extreme variation...

Since most games today cost more than the annual GDP of some countries, it would be kinda nice to know which games aren't complete crap. So sites like GameSpot offer their biased and bullshit opinions as to which waste of time you should spend $60 you could otherwise be spending on something useful. Of course it wasn't long before certain companies learned that they can bribe these sites to give their otherwise doomed games good scores, so morons would go out and buy it. This has lead to much drama among game nerds, and Democrats.

Now GameSpot thinks we're completely fucking stupid, because they're telling us that Jeff's termination had nothing to do with the Kane & Lynch review, and that Jeff's video review was pulled because of audio problems. Isn't it convenient that two weeks after the review, GameSpot decided that the video had audio problems and then fired Jeff?

Since this incident, several Gamespot employee's left Gamespot stating they didn't wanna work for a site that caved into developer and publisher pressure, and with them went Gamespot's credibility and reputation.

Now Gamespot is run by faggots and retards that ban for everything and give games absurd review scores.

Reviewers

What happened the last time a GS reviewer decided they had an opinion.

Jeff K: Jeff was actually one of the most liked and popular gamespot employee's to ever work at gamespot. Since he left Gamespot to work at EA Games, Gamespot's quality has dropped to shit and they now must kneel at IGN's feet and take loads of there cum all over their face.

Bethany: Bethany was beaten at birth, then filled with some sort of ugly poison and disease. At the age of 5 the cruel yet necessary teasing she received from fellow special education students, resulted in her dropping out of school and becoming the first generation of mini-crack-whore. After learning her true talent was playing those shitty-made Japanese games produced by the minute, she began reviewing them for customers as she took a mouth full of cock. This is where she met Jeff, and was hired to work alongside him at GameSpot. She's known to underrate anything she can't eat, but somehow she has indeed managed to eat several game discs, and a small child. "The fat whore will eat anything."

Alex N: An intolerable, and just-as-shitty-as-the-other-fucktards, reviewer. Thinks he is great at playing drums but really blows hard throbbing African phallus at it. He had a good friendship with Jeff G. until he got promoted and Alex stayed at a shit rank. Alex now lives with his mother in Ohio, making monies from the interwebs.

Carolyn Petit: Carolyn was born a dude and cutted off his dick so he can become an ugly woman. She is always constantly bitching on how many games that were designed for 6 year olds are "too hard" for her to play. She was infamous for giving Grand Theft Auto V a 9/10 for being "politically muddled and misogynistic" as people can have sex with hookers and kill them. Every loser on the GameSpot forums bashed her and threatened to kill her. She was later fired on August 2014 in order to make way a path for those who aren't biased LGBT supporters. Now she works for VICE and FemFreq.

Tom McShea: Tom is perhaps the most hated reviewer on GameSpot perhaps the entire video game critic scene. He is infamous for giving "low" scores to games that deserved high praise. Fanboys all over the internet started hating him when he gave The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword a 7.5/10 for having crap controls, then he went on to bash The Simpsons arcade game (3/10) and the DuckTales remake (4.5/10) for trying to be nostalgic. But the shit that hits the fan was when he gave The Last of Us an 8/10 for having shitty characters and combat. Every PS3 fantard started bashing his ass and of course, threatened to kill him. Along with Carolyn, he was soon fired on August 2014 for being shitty reviewers.

Jeff Gerstmann: Jeff G. was one of the few Gamespot employee's who ever rivaled Jeff K in popularity and video game knowledge. He was fired for a Kane & Lynch review which spoke the truth because the game was a total load of shit that nobody liked. People made several youtube videos showing them breaking the game in creative ways and Eidos was flamed by everybody on the internet. Lulz ensued and now Eidos has faded into nothingness. Jeff co-founded and currently works at Giantbomb, a new gaming website.

Moar info: Jeff Gerstmann.

Rich Gallup: If he's not making shitty segues on a podcast then he's screaming the name of whatever crappy show he's doing. All of the members on the site got teh butthurt when he left because they all though that he would be loyal to them forever so they bitched on the forums.

Forums

Typical GameSpot Review

The fully functional forum boards

Typical example of the amazingly deep and immersive threads that get posted every 15 minutes.

The Gamespot forums, while being free, unlike IGN which somehow justifies making people pay to post on a forum, are still worst than IGN. The Gamespot forums are full of fan boys, 13 year old retards and pedophiles. You'll see topics like "OMG WHICH HALO IS UR FAVERIT HALO???!!!1" or "GUYZ HOW DO I TALK TO GIRLZ!11!!". This nonsense and retardation goes on, on a daily basis. Back in the early part of this decade, 2000-2004, the mods were more laid back and the rules were generally few and far between. Since then, calling the Gamespot employee's raging faggot cock sucking pedophiles that still suck there mothers titties will apparently get you banned. Which is ridiculous, because its true and I believe in speaking the fucking truth damn it.

The Forums, which have merged with GameFAGs, are probably some of the worst on the entire internet, especially the System Wars (SW) section. gameFAQs are more ban happy than gamespot is, despite the fact that Gamespot will ban you for telling everyone the sky is blue or saying that their reviews are bought.

System Wars is broken up into four groups:

Sheep - Nintendo Fanboys, these faggots love seeing Super Mario get re-made 500 times a year and get a hard on watching Princess Peach fuck herself.
Cows - Sony Fanboys. They love bragging about there 99 trillion core CPU also known as the PS3. To bad it has 4 games and nobody plays 3 of them.
Lemmings - Xbox Fanboys. These fan boys are fucking retards that don't realize microsoft is trying to empty there bank accounts by charging them for everything from map packs to online play.
Hermits - PC fans, who are probably the most justified in there war on the other systems. PC's tend to have better games and better developer support for those games. However these people are also fags who will never see a womans vagina. rigs.

The rest of the forums are made up of 13-year-old boys who find posting old memes such as Captain Planet, Chuck Norris and the O rly owl funny, Rickrolling for no fucking reason, and a bunch of kids asking for game cheats because they suck so hard they can't complete Big Rigs, let alone just go to GameFAGs.com or the "Cheat Codes and Secrets" section of the site.

The Off Topic is barely passable but it has a few users who aren't retarded. * There used to be more but the mods banned them for making too many lulz. Don't piss off the mods, or Omnislash will rape your babies.

All of all Off Topic is full of fat fags. 100% of the topics here will either be:

Religion
Girl Threads (at about 99%)
Retarded

It should also be noted that the people here have no lives as they seem to have never seen pussy, or in most cases, fat faggot sex.

A typical GameSpot moderation. Note use of prestigious vocabulary.

When a person with some intelligence registers at GameSpot's forums, they are moderated constantly to annoy them, until they leave. This ensures that the users that stay are 12-14 year old idiotic boys. This is important, because Micheal Jackson secretly ~~owns~~ owned (pwned?) GameSpot and ~~requires~~ required the members to send him secksy nekid pictures.

When you post anything of any worth, you will be suspended for 7 days. If you have any tendency to not communicate like a robot, you will be suspended for 7 days.

Moderators

Complete douche-bags with nothing better to do than lurk in boards gracing everyone with their "intelligence". Moderation, like stated above, will happen at any moment. Usually it happens when you post something that can increase ones knowledge of games or consoles, or anything that is not just plain bullshit. Moderators seem to be retarded themselves as they take offense to anything relating to those with a lower IQ. But it is common knowledge that retards cannot be offended because they are not people and do not have feelings!

Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

YOU'RE WINNER!

Big Rigs is one of the worst games in the world and has the lowest GameSpot score. One of the site's shitty reviewers, Alex N., reviewed it. The video can generate a few lulz, because the videos of the game makes any nerd get worked up about how bad the finished product is.

The dumbfuck AZNs who made it seemed to have forgotten to make the walls un-clippable, and so you can go through most things, and you can pull a fucking Houdini (not the sex position) and take your 18 wheeler up a mountain side with out ANY struggle. Srsly guys. WTF is dis pile of shit?

This turd is even worse than the Necrophiliacs wet dream, horrible zombie raping shit fest Dead Rising by Crapcom.

However in Big Rigs if you win a race, YOU'RE WINNER! It's MOAR significant than being an hero.

The Great Gamespot War or Operation: Greatest An Hero

Bub and Bob > Master Chief

The day the furry god fell.

/b/ub and /b/ob putting Samus in her place. Nice touch with her helmet as the popcorn bowl.

Keepin it gangsta.

On 9/4/09 It came to /v/'s attention that Gamespot was hosting a poll to decide the best video game protagonist. Naturally, they had paired all of the stars of shitty mainstream games like Halo against those coming from classic, old-school games that are actually enjoyable. /v/ then enlisted /b/'s help to troll gamespot. /b/ then went out and voted Lester up from near 0% to over 30%. Cloud Fanboys raged and called hax To provoke further 12 year-old fanboy rage, /b/ and /v/ spam voted Bub and Bob (who were paired against Master Chief) from a 20% vote to 50+%. Drama and crying from butthurt fanboys followed on the forums. /b/ had successfully outnumbered Gamespot's ranks of fanboys, with Gamespot officially announcing that /b/ub and /b/ob have proceeded to the next round. Next target: Getting Little Mac into round 3.

As of noon 9/10/09, Little Mac is losing to could by .4-ish and /b/ub and /b/ob are WINNING by 1.5%-ish. GET VOTING FAGGOTS

As of 9/12/09, /b/ub & /b/ob have beat Sonic & Master Chief. Now the furries' moralfag genes will have no choice but to compell them to vote for b&b. Now b&b are up against Samus. PREPARE TO VOTE. And Stop fapping to nudes of Zero Suit. It's 9/20/09, and /b/ub and /b/ob are barely beating Samus. Don't back down you faggots. Send Metroid's wife back to the kitchen where she belongs.

9/22/09 /v/ backstabbed /b/ and is now fagvoting for samus

As the crack of dawn of 9/24/09 passes, b&b were for a moment in dire peril as on 9/22-23/09 they were behind in votes as raging fanboys made a united front against b&b's assault while it was backstabbed by /v/. It seemed as many lulz would be lost as the sun set on our beloved dinos. Fanboys proceeded to jeer at what they presumed to be their victory, thumbing up the comments of any other fanboy who bashed b&b, and carried on discussing such philosophical questions on the lines of, "If our candidates had sex, who would be on top? Gordon Freeman or Snake? Cloud or Kratos? Mario or Lara?" But a prophet came to them, and warned them that they had angered Raptor Jesus and that /b/ would make a counterattack come dawn. But they laughed at him and ignored his warning. On the dawn of 9/23/09, the forces of /b/ unleashed their sekrit wepon, codenamed FIREFOX, which utilized the souls of furries sacrificed in the name of Raptor Jesus to both spamvote the fantards as well as melt the faces off the opposition. /b/ then commenced with an amphibious assualt by mudkips and battletoad commandoes. Combat raged on into the night, until /b/ made a decisive flanking maneuver led by Anonymous. Come dawn 9/24, the enemies of b&b have either routed or been slaughtered by b&b troops, and the legions of anonymous gnashed their teeth and wept with joy as victory all but theirs by 7+%. Fanboys could either look in awe or complain that /b/ "cheated", completely ignorant of the saying,"all's fair in love and war, ESPECIALLY IN THE GREAT GAMESPOT WAR! As this is the last day of voting, victory is all but b&b's unless the fantards unleash an OPERATION:FIREFOX of their own, which they won't, since they want to win fairly, and they already voted once. So as we wake up on this glorious day, let's proceed to farm as many lulz and drama as we can from this potential defeat, and add enough votes to ensure victory and send Samus back to the kitchen with a severe beating to make b&b's sandwich. In other news, Gordon Freeman is currently crowbaring Snake to death, Mario is showing some English pussy how Italians have a good time, and Link is showing the world that small, gay, elvish boys with swords can kick a black person's ass. WARNING: PREPARE FOR MAJOR FANBOY BUTTHURT. Note: It would appear that the faggots at Gamespot reversed the percentage vote scores, so it would now seem that, for the moment, Samus has moved on to the next round. This means that either: 1. Gamespot is retarded for changing the result 2. Gamespot is retarded for failing C SIII.

~~9/24/09 - 10/1/09 b&b's next target: megaman. Less people voted for megaman than for Samus, so the /b/litzkreig should continue without too much hassle. PREPARE TO VOTE FAGGOTS~~

10/1-8/09 if b&b beats megaman (presuming the population of California doesn't vote for megaman), b&b will have to potentially contend with kratos or mario. Mario will probably make Kratos an offer he can't refuse, so when b&b face mario, the strategic thing to do would be to break up the alliance of all the fantards and turn Sony fanboys against the nintendo fanboys. If Kratos wins, merely turn Nintendo fantards against Mario fans. This might be difficult however, as virtually everyone on gamespot is against b&b, so it might be best to commence another OP:FIREFOX. But we're fighting a war here, faggots! GRAB YOUR RIFLE, COMMENCE /B/LITZKRIEG, AND PREPARE YOUR GIRL TO FUCK-N-SUCK! B&B ARE GOING TO WAR

DISREGARD THAT I SUCK METROID COCKS Yep. Operation: Greatest An Hero failed. Some argue it was because of the fanboys. Some say it was Gamespot. But when you get right down to it, it was /b/ and /v/'s bickering that fucked it up. Of course, /b/ spammed /v/ with Gamespot threads. Still, /v/ was the one who had to get butthurt about it. Now the poll is going to end up like every other poll with Link vs Mario at the end. All in all, /b/ and /v/ turned on each other and lost the game.

But there will be other polls, other raids. And next time, we'll be ready. We don't let failures keep us down.We just keep on trying till we run out of cake. Why you ask? because we are 4chan. We are Anonymous. We...are legion.

08/31/10

OPERATION AN VILLAIN!

This year Gamespot decided to make a competition on the worlds greatest video game villain,Unfortunately this comes at a time where summerfags are infesting /b/ and underage B@ on the new pokemon broad have decided to take a stand for their favorite yaoibait character,rather than realize the objective of this operation is to troll your vote and see otakus and weeaboos scream butthurt like an internet reap machine. After the drama of the "Greatest Hero" competition last year it is unknown why Gamespot would realease an identical competition knowing full well trolls would fuck with the results causing a piss weak character (Captain Qwark) to win.

OPERATION SIDEKICK

Possibly the most unlikely (and uninentionally awesome) matchup ever

At the beginning of September 2011, Gameshit decided that it would give the college try just one more time, this time with a Greatest Sidekick poll. Of course all the loveable old school sidekicks had been completely outmatched against every muscled mainstream faggot the fanboys cream themselves over. With such examples as Captain Price against Launchpad McQuack and Albert Einstein against Falco, /v/ decided not to stand for this superficial abomination of a contest and begun setting a scheme in motion dubbed "Operation Sidekick". The objective was to knock every sidekick out of the competition to allow Launchpad and Einstein to duke it out in the finals. Despite the failures of past operations, /v/ seems to have gotten their shit together and realized that asking /b/ for help is not a good idea. Instead, /v/ has since contacted /mu/ for help, setting up an agreement to help them do some vote rigging of their own (with success). Other boards such as /co/ /cgl/ /sci/ and even /b/ came to /v/'s assistance to help rig the votes. Since

~~With the poll all but won~~OH SHIT WE DID IT! That's right, by some grace of one omnipotent being or another the combined efforts of /v/, /sci/, /mu/, and even a bit of /a/ trolled hundreds of fanboys. The glory will be everlasting, and let it be known that Dogmeat died a valiant death, so that we may bask in the delicious tears. /v/ now contemplates how to make it the biggest most absurd final in history. Some of the options considered, are to stuff the proxy votes into the millions, or perhaps vote evenly ending the poll in a tie between Launchpad and Einstein. Of course the coordination required for this is far beyond even /b/, let alone /b/ 2.0. Others have simply suggested that /v/ just vote honestly, as the last days of the competition will be a celebration anyway. The most popular idea so far has been to vote Launchpad, as he is our Lord and Savior. On the other hand Einstein did invent the atom bomb, which was responsible for killing a fuckload of Japs, so they're both awesome in their own rights.

/v/ finally fucking did it.