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Fuck My Life

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HOLD IT!
WARNING! FACEPALM IMMINENT!

This Encyclopedia Dramatica article is bound to make you feel good about yourself. That's a good thing...right?

No.

Fuck My Life is a site that claims to be a "recollection of everyday anecdotes" that users share with the internet. Despite this claim, the site is really no more than an epic source of lulz and more epic pranks that can be pulled on your unsuspecting victims. It has also been postulated that the site is a sham... that most of the posts there are made up stories to give the site a more outrageous reputation. This remains to be seen, but there are some very obvious "pixels that stick out like they have been shopped" on that site. The authors of this article invite the reader to make their own judgments as to the validity of this claim.

An example of a fake post...
...And an example of a real one. Which one sounds more pathetic?
Take a picture of your drunken friend...Fuck his life!
Alcoholics Fuck their lives.
Sleep on the street? Fuck that!
Driving Drunk? Fuck My Life!
Stock photo found on Fuck's Facebook.
I wrote this on my bumper for a free t-shirt.

Origin of FML

Fuck my life is an attention whoring technique which was first Shat out into the world as a line in the 2007 film Superbad. Despite being a piece of shit movie, the line was reborn as a site for whiny bitches to attempt initiating some lulz from pointing out the embarrassing and shitty details of their day to day lives. Sometimes, though, these people are in search of sympathy instead of lulz; a classic mistake.

Example of attention whoring: "So sad right now guys :[ FML"

Desired reaction: "omg whats wrong?!"

Actual reaction: lulz

The difference between these butthurt posters and the regular site posters is they post cries for help on failbook. You can help by trolling the shit out of these people.

Posting on Fuck My Life

Posters of the site are usually emos, basement-dwellers and 16 year old girls who think their lives are sooooo hard and that people on the internet understand them. These can all range from your cat being caught on fire to your boyfriend cheating on you. Not many people know this, but 99.99% of FML posters are middle class, suburban, white kids who have everything they want in life; and are not starving in Africa.

But that is only half the fun...

Visitors to the site are encouraged to actively participate in the lulz. You do not have to sign up to make a FML post, but it is encouraged. Next, make sure to tell them that you are a girl(so all the visitors can pay attention to you, amirite?). Then, select a category under which your post can be classified (Love, Health, and What you're never going to have. Unfortunately no one cares is not a category as all of them would be under it.The format has very few rules, just start the post off with TODAY, write your post, and then end it with FML. There is no subject that is taboo. If you are the type that finds it interesting to post about how your father raped you when you were seven, you are more than welcome to add your stories to Fuck My Life.

Examples of Lulz

Because this article would not be half as funny as it should be without quotes from Fuck My Life, here is a brief list of them:

  • Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML
  • Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
  • Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
  • Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
  • Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML
  • Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
  • Today, I went on a first date with an Egyptian/Cuban sorority girl. I asked her what language she was brought up speaking. She said that her mom spoke to her in Spanish, but that she only ever replied in English. I said, "Oh, kinda like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
  • Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a female. FML
  • Today, I woke up feeling like something was crawling inside my ear. I immediately went to the doctor's, and was told a roach had crawled into my ear. The doctor tried to drown it with water, but that only caused it to swell up and get stuck. I just had a roach removed piece by piece from my ear. FML
  • Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML
  • Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
  • Today, I got out of bed and looked up only to see my penis. FML
  • Today, I saw people making fun of Britney Spear's performance on Idon'tgiveafuck music awards.

The Response They Want

The Response They Get

Recent Faggotry on FML

Recently, people have taken to posting "counter-FMLs", where they pretend to be the person another person interacted with.

Example:

Original: "Today, I was in the park and saw a couple in mine and my boyfriend's special spot. I called him. The man in our spot's phone rang. FML."
Counter: "Today, I was in the special spot in the park when my phone rang. It was my other girlfriend. FML."

As you can see this is annoying as fuck, and unfunny as hell. This has little to no point other than to irritate other people.

Destroy them as soon as they are spotted, for they are the harbringers of anti-lulz.

Further Discourse

«12:43:42» Aaron: Today, I submitted a story about how much my life sucks to Fuck My Life. They didn't put it in. I cried myself to sleep after listening to My Chemical Romance three hours straight.
                    My life is so fucked that even Fuck My Life won't take pity. FML

After visiting the site and also reading the examples provided, the honesty of the site has to be questioned. Sure, the internet is full of people who will literally stand in line to complain about something, and you will more often than not, sit there and listen to them. But just how often does a person get online and complain that they ate bird shit, or that one of their 3rd grade school children attempted to grab their boobs three times in one recess? Far too many of the sites anecdotes have a contrived sense to them, almost as if the site were pushing its own limits in an attempt to generate a larger internet footprint.

Random Fuck My Life IRC Generator

This is an mIRC script that will go and grab a random FML entry and then post it in your IRC channel.

How to set it up:

  1. Open mIRC's script editor and click on the "Remotes" tab.
  2. Make a new mIRC remote by clicking on "file" and then "new." You should be presented with a blank text area to edit in.
  3. Paste this in the new remote:
on *:text:!fml:#: {
  sockopen fml www.fmylife.com 80
  set %fmltarg $chan
}
on *:sockopen:fml: {
  sockwrite -n $sockname GET /random HTTP/2.0
  sockwrite -n $sockname Host: www.fmylife.com
  sockwrite -n $sockname Connection: close
  sockwrite -n $sockname $crlf
}
on *:sockread:fml: {
  sockread %fmltemp
  if (class="fmllink"> isin %fmltemp) { inc %t 1 | set %fml $+ %t $nohtml(%fmltemp) }
}
on *:sockclose:fml: { msg %fmltarg %fml1 | unset %fml* %t }
alias -l nohtml {
  var %x, %i = $regsub($1-,/(^[^<]*>|<[^>]*>|<[^>]*$)/g,$null,%x), %x = $remove(%x, )
  return %x
}
4. Save that Remote as whatever you want, but make sure it ends in .mrc. Also make sure it is someplace in your mIRC folder.
5. Load the remote by clicking on "file" again and then "load." Find your recently saved .mrc file and click that. The Fuck My Life random script is now loaded.
6. To use, have somebody in your channel type the word !fml This will make the script go and grab a random Fuck My Life text and then post it in the channel.

Also, Niggers tongue my anus intensely.

Fuck My Life Video

See Also

External Links

 

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