Bubsy

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WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!

Bubsy is a shitty video game series made by jews at Accolade in which you play as Bubsy Bobcat, a Sonic rip-off made to get as much jew gold as possible. Bubsy's purrrpose in his games, aside from sucking ass, is to stop the Woolies, a race of aliens from the planet Rayon that try to steal all the yarn balls. It's up to Bubsy to single-handedly stop them, even though he would easily die from as much as stroking his dick too hard and the FBI would knock them out in less than an hour anyway.

The Bubsy franchise has seen a handful of games over the years, each of them sucking just as hard or worse than the last. Common traits of Bubsy games include being next to impossible to control, awkward physics, dying from touching literally anything, too much screen zoom, having an annoying as fuck protagonist, and being unreasonably and unfairly difficult (mostly do to poor game design rather than challenging game play).

The Games

Bubsy: Claws Encounters of The Furred Kind (Download here): the game that started this shitstorm. Controls like crap, everything kills you in ONE HIT and you can't see where you go. Bubsy has two movement options: way too fucking fast or way too fucking slow. You will die over and over again and be forced to hear the same Bubsy quote again and again whenever you die and enter the level.

Bubsy II (Download here): More or less the same shit except you have 3 hits however you won't last long enough to get a band-aid to restore your health before everything rapes you. The screen is zoomed in closer than the last game which doesn't help with anything.

Bubsy in Fractured Furry Tales (Download here): Probably the worst game of the bunch right here. It only released on the Sega Jaguar so nobody actually played it and they all say Bubsy 3D is the worst instead. The level themes and enemies are more cookie-cutter than ever, and the game is buggy. One such bug somehow makes the "!" on Bubsy's shirt yellow instead of red, which may seem like a small complaint but it begins to show how little the developers actually cared about the game series this whole time.

Bubsy 3D (Download here (or maybe don't)): ~~THE BEST GAME EVAR~~ more or less the same shit except IN ASS-SUCKY 3D!!!!1! it is considered by many to be the worst game of all time. After all these shitty games this is the one that finally tanked Accolade's reputation and put them on the road to bankruptcy. Many developer's have come out saying that they hated Bubsy and hated working on the game. Bubsy's voice actress for this game, Lani Minella, has regretting doing vocals for Bubsy and his most prominent voice actor, Rob Paulsen, considered Bubsy his worst voice over role ever. Bubsy 3D was developed around the same time as games like Super Mario 64 and Crash Bandicoot, so it certainly has a lot of explaining to do in terms of how it fucked itself this badly. Bubsy even has more voice clips than in any other game, but fortunately there is an option to mute him, making this one of the game's few redeeming qualities.

Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back: After more than 20 years, somebody somehow thought it would be a good idea to resurrect Bubsy from the grave. It's exactly the same shit as the 1st game except shorter.

Bubsy: Paws on Fire!: Bubsy looks more dorky than ever in this game. Aside from that, it's just a generic auto-runner platforming game with some of the cartoon characters stuffed in.

The Characters

Bubsy Bobcat: The furfag protagonist who doesn't shut up and think's he's hot shit like every other 90's character, but doesn't realize he's the butt of every joke about lame video game mascots.
Woolies: The generic bad guys who looks stupid.
Poly and Ester: 2 incestuous lesbians who lead the woolies.
Arnold Armadillo - A blue armadildo that Bubsy and his friends beat the shit out of.
Terry and Terri Bobcat - Bubsy's twin cousins that he looks after and almost kills.
Ally Cassandra - A fat bitch who acts as an antagonist. The Bubsy wiki describes her as "tall, sturdy, but curvy", which everybody knows is fatty code for morbidly obese.
Bozwell Buzzard & Sid Shew - Ally's submissive sex slaves.