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Agoddessfinch

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This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT FINCH IS A NIGGER DYKE LOVING HYPOCRITE!!!1
Agoddessfinch
Alias
Finch
Crimes
Faggot, Hypocrite, Drama Whore
Battlecry
 HEY! LISTEN!
Drama Level
 Moderate Lulz

AGoddessFinch (Or Kill-Natalie) is a TARTlet who is a hypocrite, drama llama, emo, and lolcow. She has at least 100,000 pageviews and believes in the old DevianTART misconception that popularity is equivalent to skill. Sharpening her artistic teeth the way most TARTlets do, she draws a bit of shitty animu fanart, but more often, writes shitty emo poetry and/or pornsmut.

Finch laid low until one day a fellow writer on dA, Lostindamnation [2] mentioned one of her extremely horrid poems having gotten on the front page of popular writing. Anyone not insane would see that the man (AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO CRITIQUED IT) was quite correct, considering he has a fucking degree in English and she's only a 15 year-old scene bitch. Said deviation can be found here. After having critiqued it, he returned to his life and she proceeded to go batshit insane.

After all, how could ANYONE critique when obviously she is ONE OF THE BEST!? We can only imagine what she did to the others who left a horde of truthful comments on this travesty of a poem.

All aboard the Drama Train

Finchy can't handle critique, so when she saw what this horrid man had done to her precious little poem, she did the most mature thing and decided to throw a tantrum on Lost's journal (which is deleted now, for some reason). What survived of the drama was another mention in Lost's Journal, and a comment or two on his page (which remain unhidden because he isn't butthurt).

 
Acting like an adult

Lostindamnation has successfully avoided looking like an idiot whose fantards had been sicked on poor little Finch. It appears Lostindamnation wasn't the only TARTlet baffled by her front-page fiasco.

   
“ 		 
Atleast you aren't a small Nigerian child desperate for food.

Now THAT would be real fuckin' sad.
 

„
  		 

—Show-no-Mercy-666, telling it like it is.

 
don't you dare imply her problems are meaningless!
 
Is dat sum cocksucking?
   
“ 		 
omg, you tit.

a) comfort helps better b) youve obviously never been to africa. they may eat less than we do, but they arent hopeless, and theyre happy still. They WANT to live, and this person waits for death. Its pretty fucking obvious whos having a shit time. c) yep, it did suit you that moment. now imagine if people called you what i said, faggot, and other insults all day. get an idea how pretty shit youd feel, and youd prolly be willing to trade lives with that "starving nigerian kid" d) you prolly have no idea about emotions. ive had a pretty shit life and ive overcome it all and im fucking happy. from that hardship, and what i did to get over the bullshit ive been through, i feel obliged to help others, and alot of people think i should be a psychologist. now i think i know what would cheer a person up more.
 

„
  		 

— Kaizo-Konpaku, retard sucking Finch's e-penis.

   
“ 		 
Don't fucking diminish the pain I feel because I'm not fucking African. I am so sick of that. You know what, it can always be worse. Always. Even if I was from Nigeria an starving, it could be worse. But it's my God damn life and I didn't ask to be put HERE so I'm gonna d what the fuck I want with it.
  		„
  		 

— Finchy, being insensitive.

And that would have been the end of that, until Anon discovered what a massive hypocrite she is. A good example of this is when she ranted about people inserting conversations about them and their friends into their journals in order to be funny, then THE NEXT FUCKING DAY she posts this shit, rife with AIM convos between her and her black person dyke best friend.

Not being one to try and stop a moving drama train she continues to maturely write journals on how immature and silly the people attacking her are, instead of say, not caring and moving on, like Lostindamnation has. Also never the one to jump to conclusions, the people doing this to her are are 19 and Canadian, and have reset all of her passwords. Deciding to do actual work for once she did her 'homework' and figured out that:

   
“ 		 
Turns out that was[sic] you freaks are doing is illegal. Hacking into my accounts and changing the passwords is illegal. How would your resume look with a misdemeanor on it?
  		„
  		 

—Finch

Because figuring out publicly displayed information and using it to reset your password constitutes hacking.

 
More drama for the drama lord
 
Cause watchers = friends

After much trolling, including admitting her love for maple syrup and beastiality, she decided that hiding everyone's comments who were in anyway negative, and her responses to those comments, was the only way to convince everyone she wasn't a bitch. However, some tartlet, hereafter called "Captain Obvious", decided to post a picture of one of her hate-filled journals with the text, "THERES A REASON EVERYONE IN REAL LIFE HATES YOU, YOU FAKE HYPOCRITE. SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE. IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK WORSE" superimposed on it to a dA Club Deviantart Secret. Continuing with her campaign of maturity she decided to try and set the record straight about herself on issues such as how people who post stuff like this totally aren't worth her time and how she wants to be famous by way of drama:

   
“ 		 
I read a poem today that said something like, "Shoot her down, spit on her, little do you know you're only making her more famous." :D

I, of course, favorited it and nearly applauded. Making fun of something only brings more attention to it. And anyone seriously interested in the matter would ask me about it instead of herding about like a bunch of people around a car wreck. They're obviously not concerned with anyone's well-being. They just like the blood and drama. Fools.
 

„
  		 

—Finch, Totally not an attention whore

She was not alone in her defense of her drama whoring honor, her tartlet servitors were also there to shed the light on things subjects such as how her dA watchers equals friends.

Now realizing that people can actually see her hypocracy by merely reading her journals, she's started deleting the offending posts, which will no doubt lead to her deleting fucking everything and quitting dA forever.


LOL I TOTALLY HAET SCENE KIDS!

 
Finchy hates them emos
 
Unless it's her styled that way.

Despite sporting several different hair colors all at once, a choppy mop, and stupid shit painted on her face, Finchy has declared her hatred of emo and scene kids more than once. In her journal, even in her writing, she has spread her message of hate throughout the tubes despite her obviously belonging to this culture herself. What is most unfortunate for her hypocritical emo ass is, unlike a real journal, this one is public, so we can see her one day talk about carving someone's name into her skin and another day calling someone out for telling people they want to cut themselves. However, not to be shown up by herself, after gaining a few levels in emofaggotry, she upgraded to trying to kill herself.

Finchy is/was a big fan of MCR and writes fanfaction about Gerard fucking Way and wishes to RP Gerard taking it up the ass. She's written an essay of some sort on how much she fucking HATES emos and scene kids. The essay itself is fucking long. TL;DR: I HATE MYSELF.

DeviantDIVA

Her contact info is as follows:

Email: [email protected]

AIM: Suga Jack Me Off

MSN: [email protected]

Yahoo:OhEmGerardWay

Her myspazz

loljournal

Fanfuck

The email for her myspace account is [email protected], so feel free to add her!

As far as her little buddies go, there's chikchiky200 (aim s/n), some black person dyke named Alex who Finchy calls "Brown Bear" (Scrubs rip-off ALERT).

Deadmanscrescendo, a lesbian.

Miss Delirium the cunt dating Deadmanscrescendo.

CoCa84 is WAS her girlfriend, Hayley, who doesn't even LIVE in the same state as Finch (but then broke up with her because she realized what an insane twat she was). Hayley lives in New Jersey and they haven't even met IRL.

A History of Attention Whoring

 
The great thing about dA isn't not taking your advice, isn't showing everyone online that I did!
   
“ 		 

I want people to be scared of me. ... I want to be famous. I want it a lot. ... I want to prove everyone wrong.
 

„
  		 

—Finch, I don't want attention

While claiming to be a mature individual and totally not a drama whore, a vast majority of her journals involve vague death threats, never revealing the person who she is attacking, because she is too much of a pussy to verbally attack people irl. This is interspersed with directed hatred, when she gets bold enough to attack people on the internets, being gay for frerard and Gaara, hating on other attention whores and other general faggotry.

MOAR DRAMA

Chances are as soon as Finchy or her henchmen find this article, all these lulzy things will be deleted. Any additional lulz is appreciated. CAP THAT SHIT! Oh shit they've found us! INCOMING LULZ!! They seem to be trying to ignore us, but not to worry, like any lolcow she'll induce moar drama. She's in a high school same sex relationship for fucks sake, they'll break up within a year. OH LOL THEY DID. Moar drama ensued, her faggot girlfriend dumped her and Finchy is now dating another dyke called Kelsey. Only this one is FUGLY

Nevermind, she deleted the suicide journal.


SHE'S STEALING MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!

On February 6th, more hilarity ensued. Finch wrote a one sentence journal saying 'Beyotch needs to step off my man, ho.'. Apparently (As explained in another entry) there is another girl after Finch's new emo boyfriend. She immediately asked everyone to hack the girl's myspace account, and flame her constantly. Instead of being mature and approaching her parents or a school official, she thought that flaming someone online and using 4chan and Deviantart as her own personal army was a far better solution. This however, shows us how insecure Finch must be. If she is so uncertain in her relationship with her boyfriend (Who's probably gay anyway) that she is venting angrily on the whole thing consistently, then Finch is more of a loser than previously believed. And interestingly enough, how many real life friends who are willing to support Finch must she have if she has to resort to using deviantart users as her own personal way of fighting back?


THE WHORE HAS A NEW HOBBY!! OMG!!

Some new lulz have just flown in from Chicago (home of the TARTlet) which show that she has become a Ted Bundy-loving GORE-WHORE, courtesy of her new dyke Kelsey who thinks serial-killers are "HAWT". This comes as no surprise to EVERYONE that is forced to endure her drama.

Gallery of FAIL

  •  
    Nobody likes finch.
  •  
    But she's totally worth my time
  •  
    Does trolling bitches go under work experience or hobby on a resume?
  •  
    She can't habeeb it.
  •  
    POPULAR MEANS TALENTED, RITE?
  •  
    wat
  •  
    Thinks she's great.
  •  
    MY EYES!
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  •  
    The truth as told by Finch
  •  
    Finchy doesn't make sense.
  •  
    Convinced that the whole reason she's popular is because she's good, and not because of the very emofaggots she despises reading and faving her shit.
  •  
    She hates attention whores, too? Isn't self-loathing great?
  •  
    Not an attention whore.
  •  
    Pretty funny if you read her "how to be hardcore"
  •  
    Hideous.
  •  
    [1]
  •  
    Following her own advice in "How to be HARDCORE"
  •  
    Trying to trick you into thinking she's pretty.
  •  
    Narutard.
  •  
    She's soooo not scene!
  •  
    SAUSAGE FINGERS
  •  
    Srsly?
  •  
    What's her REAL eyecolor anyway?
  •  
    Smells like skank.
  •  
    When no one shoops her, she looks like a rat.
  •  
    It's "Gee-gee, not Gerard!"
  •  
    Not sure what's funnier; the style or the fact that she watermarked it!
  •  
    Talent.
  •  
    More real than photos of herself.
  •  
    Finchy fears proper anatomy.
  •  
    Lovely.
  •  
    Guro attempt, it seems.

Links

See also

 

Agoddessfinch is part of a series on

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