Jack Merridew
Jack Merridew was a prominent deletionist on Wikipedia until he was banned on March 31, 2008, when it was discovered that he had over 9,000 cockpuppets used for pushing his deletion campaign and for harassing known drama whore White Cat/Cool Cat. His oldest known account was Davenbelle, and two other major accounts of his were Diyarbakir and Moby Dick. He is also known to have two other minor accounts called D73733C8-CC80-11D0-B225-00C04FB6C2F5 and Note to Cool Cat.
Biography
“Jack Merridew” is a pseudonym derived from some pathetic character in Lord of the Flies. His real name is David.[1]
Jack hates stuff to do with popular culture such as Dungeons & Dragons, Star Wars, and Honorverse, so he goes around vomiting tags all over their respective Wikipedia articles and tries to get them deleted. This earned him the friendship of an epic faggot and fellow deletionist known as Gavin Collins, and they are now best friends forever. This also earned him the enmity of fellow cockpuppeteer Grawp, who was known for making Jack butt-hurt for several months. Jack was also frequently raided by eBaum's World, as can be seen here.
Originally, Jack Merridew’s account name was “Senang Hati,” which he used to create spam articles for the Senang Hati Foundation and Smile Foundation of Bali, two organizations in Bali that kidnap children with facial disfigurements such as cleft lips and subsequently engage in pederasty. He had the account renamed to “Jack Merridew,” and then Grawp created a new account called “Senang Hati” for the lulz, which he used to try to get Jack’s spam deleted. Grawp was unsuccessful, and the account was renamed to “Senang Hati (impersonator).” Ironically, Jack’s spam articles still exist, even though they are shit.
Jack Merridew is an English-speaking retard, most likely an Ausfag, who, after getting kicked out of his native country, moved to an island called Bali in Indonesia.[2] There, he works for the Senang Hati Foundation and Smile Foundation of Bali, where is he is paid in child slaves to use as sex toys. After being put in Bantown yet again, he is most likely being entertained by such slaves as you read this.
The Drama Continues
Mainly due to support from his deletionist buddies and sucking the cocks of various TOW admins in the Cabal, Jack Merridew was unblocked on May 2, 2008, much to the dismay of the faggot White Cat. However, he was blocked forever once again just two days later [3] after much drama-mongering. He is now confined to editing shitty little projects like the Indonesian Wikipedia and Wikimedia Commons, having his deletionist buddies spam his shitty Balinese pictures all over TOW. Jack is obsessed with drama and his edits are pretty much only on talk or bureaucracy pages. TOW is just a place to interact with people over the internet for Jack and Nothing he adds to the encyclopedia has any value.
More Drama Coming Soon
"A Leopard Doesn't Change Its Spots" ~ Jack Merridew March 16, 2010
Jack has got those admins fooled. He puts on his "I have seen the error of my ways. I've changed. I am reformed. I'm no longer an a**hole" act. Those idiots are dead from the neck up. Jack isn't bright, it's just that they are so pathetically gullible. While telling them this, Jack's subconscious leaves little turds of truth about himself on Wikipedia, like this one from his talk page (also here) where he says that he has never seen a leopard change his spots. We agree Jack, too bad the admins don't pay attention to your unchanged spots.
One day, after ignoring these little turds of truth from Jack, those admins are going to wake up too late to see that they and Wikipedia have been ass raped by Jack. Those admins better lube up as the day is coming sooner than they think.
Jack Asks To Be Made An Administrator
On March 16, 2010, ol' Jack made a request to be made an administrator. Stock up on that lubricant Wikipedia. You are going to need it. The clock is ticking.
External links
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Jack Merridew is part of a series on Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage. |
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Jack Merridew is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
