King of Braves GaoGaiGar

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King of Braves GaoGaiGar is, in a nutshell, a 90s Monster-of-the-week Mecha anime featuring yet another Japanese Government - Gutsy Geoid Guard, Lions, giant aliens called Zonders, and lolis. But you're not interested in the nutshell, you're interested in reading a detailed article of snobbery and lulz, so here you go.

She REALLY wants the D

Plot

Series

At least 100 years before the events of KOBGGG, There was the Trinary Solar System. It had a green planet, a red planet and a purple planet. The scientists that inhabited the Purple Planet tried to make a machine that would relieve stress, but the programming went haywire and turned everyone on the planet into mindless drones bent on turning the entire universe in mindless drones. Those of the green and red planets in retaliation created "antivirus programs" against the oncoming threat - the green planet's monarchs, Cain and his wife had a kid and named him Latio and created the mecha lion Galeon along with 5 Genesic Machines which when merged together create the God of Destruction GaoGaiGar; the red planet's monarchs, Abel and HIS wife cloned Latio to make Kaidou and formed an army of Soldats each equipped with their own spaceships.

Characters

Gutsy Geoid Guard (GGG)

Staff

Guy Shishioh - Guy Shishioh is your typical SSJ3 hair-style furry-mecha pilot who believes, along with everyone in the GGG, that courage can magically manipulate probability to turn 31.20% into 100%. He is an Evangelion Rule 63 and pilots the titular mecha GaoGaiGar which you later learn is incomplete throughout the entire series. In the OVA. A few years before then he was an astronaut, before the Zonder Dreadnought crashed into his rocket nearly killing him.

Mamoru Amami - Mamoru also has Goku Hair. His parents found him in the mouth of an alien robot lion in the Arctic, they found that he has a jeweled necklace and then decided to adopt him. Keep in mind he has an atrocious track record of keeping his friends conscious.

Koutarou Taiga - Taiga is the muscular cult leader of the GGG, he has the ability to overdramaticize things like approving shit, putting a smuggled code into the GGG, or putting a key into a machine that creates a hammer the size of a country. He is the divine pastor of courage and perseverance and looks awesome while he does it.

Swan White - Swan is one of the few Americunts involved in the GGG and is your average fanservice character, she uses Engrish all the god damn time. Not much to say about her other than that her older brother also works for GGG and that she helps Taiga turn the act of put in a key into an act of god.

Stallion White - All Stallion White was ever good for was being the blueprint for the AI of one of GGGs 42 mechas.

Geki Hyuuma - Geki is also a blueprint for the AI of one of GGGs other mechas. He has some use - some, like breaking phones when frustrated.

Kousuke Entouji - Kousuke somehoe managed to achieve an IQ of 300 despite sleeping in the GGG headquarters, having excessive dandruff and overall being a lazy fuck.

Liger Shishioh - Liger is Guy's uncle. He is the inventor of a pair of giant pliers that warp space and time, a Fus-Ro-Dah maker, and composed a song that can destroy anything you want at will.

Leo Shishioh - One of the most important members of GGG and is Guy's Dad. He is responsible for basically all of GGGs alien technology. Late in the series he plummets into Jupiter, crashing and burning in a brief moment of complete silence.

Mikoto Utsugi - Guy's Love Interest. Every single time Guy needs to use GaoGaiGar, Taiga needs to dramatically approve it, Mikoto will then dramatically push the button that initiates Final Fusion by breaking it. Costing GGG £88 million to replace the button each time.

Mechas

Galeon - The alien robot lion that harboured Mamoru in the Arctic. Because the Arctic is a great place to store a baby child. Many years later Galeon saves Guy's life after the Zonders crashed into him, and in return it was kidnapped by the GGG, anally probed by Leo for information, and forced to do their bidding.

GaiGar - GaiGar is just Galeon transformed to a humanoid form when Guy get's into it.

GaoGaiGar - GaoGaiGar is what happens when GaiGar gets gang-banged by it's 3 unholy children: DrillGao, LinerGao, and other things that end in Gao.

HyoRyu - Ice Dragon

EnRyu - Fire Dragon

Volfogg - Volfogg is the smartest of the mechas, he can identify the enemies strategies and conger up methods to overcome said strategy - he just doesn't do it a lot. He has two pseudo-sentient vehicles on the side who he has a three-some with when losing a fight to create Big Volfogg. He is also more or less Mamoru's robot-father figure who does a much better job at it than his actual father.

Mic Sounders - Mic Sounders are a series of 13 mecha that defeat the Zonders with music so bad it kills you, the 13th is for some reason painted red instead of cyan like the rest. Mic Sounders are the only American-built robots in the show - they're all the only truly retarded robots in the show, especially the 13th. Their two most powerful and well known attacks are Disc X and the Solitary Wave.

FuRyu - Wind Dragon

RaiRyu - Lightning Dragon

Allies

Kaidou Ikmui - Kaidou is, like Mamoru, an adopted alien. Except that he was raised by a single mother and that he knows everything that's going on. He knows about their heritage in the Trinary Solar System, about their necklaces, and about the zonders.

Soldato-J 002 - Soldato-J 002 is the last of the Soldats from the Red Planet. He owns a private space-ship which holds the mecha J-Der, which if plugged into the space-ship, the ship itself become King J-Der. Sadly, he's only in the latter half of the series.

Mamoru's Friends

Hana Hatsuno - Hana-chan is Mamoru's animu-haired girlfriend who at the end of the series married him. Hana's family runs a restaurant, contributing absolutely jack shit to plot or character development. Hana's older cousin Ayame Hatsuno is also animu with knowledge of the military, wrestling, and motorcycles - but still is irresponsible enough to expose Hana to this kind of shit.

Takayasu Sunou - Best known in the series for being a wimpy attention whore who tries to impress everyone with his fancy-ass gadgets - only to be brought to tears by Reiko soon after.

Reiko Komori - Reiko belongs to a really rich family. This means that she can get her parents to buy her the top notch shit, she will use that top notch shit to troll Sunou whenever he tries to show his stuff.

Sueo "Ushi" Ushiyama -

Zonder Threat

The Zonder threat has 3 Factions and a Lone Wolf: The Zonders, The Machine Kings, The Primevals, and Zonuda. What the Zonders are trying achieve is to eradicate any life-forms capable of negative emotions, they do this by implanting "Zonder Metal" on people's foreheads turning them into Zonders. These Zonders are controlled by the Z-Program or the 31 Primevals which can merge into the Z-Master even if all but one primeval have been defeated.

 

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