Laura Talbot

Laura Talbot is a stupid, annoying camwhore, and ex-girlfriend of a butthurt gaiafag. After dumping her basement dweller boyfriend, the newfag decided to try and enlist Anonymous as his personal army and, for some reason, the faggots at britchan said yes. When there were too many people flooding her by phone, e-mail, and post, she got sick of it and declared war on Anonymous.

Laura, doing what she actually does best, i.e. lying around waiting for some sucker to do shit for her, or give her money.

mmmm aluuuuuring...

The cutter ex-boyfriend who got dumped and went batshit insane. His name is Peter, and he whimpers like a bitch when having sex.

Laura likes to take FGAS pictures of herself, TRYING to make herself INCREDIBLY AMAGAD HOT. She also enjoys threesomes, occasionally faps to animal porn and likes to get off on webcam for ABSOLUTELY ANYONE.

PROTIP: Should you ever be desperate enough to date this self-obsessed heifer, be prepared for her constant stream of harassment over the phone when you finally come to your senses and say goodbye.

PROTIP: This article was created by the ex-boyfriend.

“	My role is to barrel roll my body for my master at his desire.	„
— Laura Talbot's profile on alt

Personal Army Britchan

bawwwing ex-boyfriend asks Anonymous for help

The lonely emo-kid ex-boyfriend made what is normally a fatal mistake for newfags, and asked Anonymous to be his personal army. He posted naked photographs, videos, and personal details of Laura Talbot on Britchan.

Britchan, being full of frustrated anti-enturbfags leapt at the chance to piss someone off.

On Thurs, April 24th 2008, Britchan had the plug pulled by the hosting company (LOL @ British free speech) at exactly the same time a mini-raid against Laura was proceeding, leading some survivors of the explosion to speculate that a particularly fail moralfag reported the site because of this exact lulz.

If this is true then it won't be long before the ex-boyfriend sees the inside of the partyvan.

Laura's Mother is Batshit Insane

Mrs Talbot is somewhat deluded. When a startled Anonymous reacted sanely to the discovery that his new girlfriend was a whore and got the fuck out, Mrs Talbot proceeded to follow her slut daughter's example and bombard his telephone with endless aggressive messages.

Luckily, Anonymous had the idea to record some of them, and with the aid of modern computers to compensate for creativity, Anon re-mixed them into a lulzy, if mediocre, dance track.

Anonymous then proceeded to play these mad beats at full volume while driving up and down in front of Laura's house.

Moralfag Outrage

Gumtree is your friend, Anonymous.

Britchan's solitary moralfag troll in all his fail.

“	You're a cock. Do you think that after all this harassment she won't know who did it? You end up looking like an utter cock. Be a fucking man.	„
— Thin-blood moralfag on Britchan, addressing Laura's Anonymous ex

“	of course shes going to know..!! I drove up to her house blasting the song so the street could hear me, they know its me... Not looking at being anon to her lmao, just love sweet revenge and oh the shame on her	„
— Anonymous ex is a real man, moralfag.

Looks like *men are shit... and then you die :]* are going to have a new tale to bwaaaah about.

Laura on Film

“	Bump for Laura on film.	„
— Anonymous likes to watch.

• Unsurprisingly, this repulsively fat whore has strained several mobile-phone cameras with her futile attempts at being wanted by anyone at all.

• Surprisingly, some of the results are almost fappable when edited together. With the cellulite cropped. And the spot scars. And If you squint.

Laura Cancels Her Mobile Telephone

PROTIP: picking at your spots with a needle will actually make you look worse, for longer.

OP announces the win.

Mid afternoon on the third day of mini-raids, Laura Talbot cancelled her mobile telephone number. Apparently, ringing someone obsessively, over and over and over again isn't so attractive when you are on the receiving end of it.

Who would have thought?

Enlisting The Help of the General Public

How to recruit the general public into perpetuating lulz.

The cancellation of her mobile phone meant that sexual deviants were no longer able to contact Laura, and so the assistance of the wider public in the Harlow area was sought.

Local cake shops, post offices, libraries, colleges, train stations and hospitals all gave up generous display space for missing person posters, for free, and every concerned member of the general public was directed to call Laura's house phone with any sightings of her.

The two great British traditions of "being nosy" and "staring at young girls" thus combined, the landline became constantly engaged every time Laura stepped outside of her own house.

Sadly, the number was deactivated very soon after the first posters went up.

Gallery

Gallery of Laura Talbot About missing Pics

• 
  TITS OR GT... Oh wait.
• 
  Pretty fat in pink.
• 
  OH GOD NO!
• 
  Delicious angle.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Her cards she likes to post around Harlow, Essex.
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  Another of her cards.
• 
  And another...
• 
  And... well, you get the picture.
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  When FGAS goes wrong...
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  Doing it wrong.
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  Sexy? Shifty.
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  Anonymous REACTS.
• 
  Laura chooses a bad aisle.
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  Her MySpace group.
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  Mrs Talbot's actual face. Don't laugh, it's a disease you sick fuck.
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  Mrs Talb- no, wait, HOLY SHIT, that's Laura! Isn't it?
• 
• 
• 

See Also

• Britchan
• Drama Llama
• Attention Whore

External Links

• Laura runs a MySpace group you might be interested in:

"Do you think that most men are just plain shit..?"

"Do you find yourself slagging off men at every given opportunity..?"

"Are you FED UP of guys thinking they can have a piece and then fuck right off..?!?!"

"Well now you don't have to put up with it anymore! Join the club to slag off men all you like!"

• Laura's first porno flick , AVI & WMV.
• 1st 3GP porn clip sauce
• 2nd 3GP porn clip sauce
• 3rd 3GP porn clip sauce
• Laura's mother practices the fine British traditions of "having a clue", and "being diplomatic", mixed with lame Essex electronica.
• An exciting game of You Fap, You Lose, nightmare level: Mrs Talbot ranting over a reel of her slut daughter sucking cock, AVI & WMV.

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