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User:MisterRemover/Sandbox
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Howard Unruh
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FIRST MODERN MASS SHOOTER IN AMERICAN HISTORY! |
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The FBI has offices around the world and can be contacted around the clock, every day of the year. |
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FAG ALERT: Howard Unruh is a MASSIVE FAGGOT!!!! |
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|---|---|
| Howard "Fag with a Mag" Unruh | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| High Score | Killed 13, injured 3 |
| Top 50? | No ranking yet. :( |
| Style | Singleplayer |
| An Hero? | No - Surrendered |
| Status? | |
Howard Barton Unruh (January 21, 1921 – October 19, 2009), was a batshit insane, deeply closeted World War II veteran, and the FIRST MODERN MASS SHOOTER IN AMERIMUTT HISTORY! He managed 13 kills and 3 injuries with a Lüger in only twelve minutes! While not as impressive as other mass shooters, he laid out the groundwork for future edgy faggots who want to take out their frustration on other people by means of murder.
His 1949 New Jersey chimpout, called the Walk of Death was the deadliest shooting in the US for 17 YEARS, until Charlie Whitman stepped up and managed 17 kills and 31 injuries in Texas, on 1966.
Howard's Early Life
Howie was born to Sam and Freda Unruh. He also had a younger brother named James. The fact that he grew up in New Jersey could probably give us an insight as to why he did what he did. It is to be noted that according to his old High School yearbook, Howie wanted to become a Government employee. Some might argue that he was a Government plant who set out to make a case for tightening American gun laws... except American gun laws, let alone New Jersey gun laws were barely affected after this, even after ANOTHER retard, this time a wife-beating guido wop bastard went for the High Score ONE YEAR AFTER UNRUH'S HIGH SCORE ATTEMPT, this may have something to do with him only getting 5 kills and 4 injuries. TRY AGAIN FAGGOT!
Howard in the Army
In 1942, Howard joined the Army. Whoopdie-fucking-doo! He saw service as an armor crewman across Europe between October 1944 and July 1945. While serving, he was remembered by his commanding officer to be a first-class soldier who never drank, swore, or chased girls, yet spent much time reading his Bible and writing long letters to his mother. Though it is to be noted that the reason why he didn't chase girls was because he was a MASSIVE FAGGOT.
He also kept VERY detailed notes on the enemies killed in battles, down to the details of the corpses. He was awarded the European Theater of Operations Medal, the Victory Medal, and the Good Conduct Medal. He was honorably discharged at the end of the war and returned to Guidoville to live in his mom's basement. Both his brother and his father later indicated that Unruh's wartime experiences had changed him, making him moody, nervous and detached.
Everything After That, and Before The Lulzfest of '49
Loadout
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kills: | 13/20 Impressive... for the time at least. |
| Accuracy: | 17/20 13 killed, 3 injured, that military training paid off. |
| Style: | 17/20 Killed most of the people he was looking for, then proceeded to kill random faggots for no discernible reason. |
| Butthurt: | 18/20 |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Kickstarted a trend of things to come. |
| Total score: 85/100 (B+) | |
See Also
- High Score - What he inspired. (But is ironically not even on it)
- Faggot - What he secretly was
- Batshit insane - What he definitely was
Fun Fact!
