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Greenwood Park Mall shooting
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This article has been cleaned up, and it was a trip to hell and back. Please, don't fuck it up. |
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This article documents a current event. Information may change rapidly as the event progresses, and initial news reports may be unreliable. Believe nothing until it has been fact-checked and published by Encyclopedia Dramatica. |
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| Jonathan Douglas Sapirman | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| High Score | Killed 3, injured 2 |
| Top 50? | FUCK NO |
| Style | Singleplayer |
| An Hero? | No, pwnt by NPC |
2022, the year of the mass shooter apparently. Kicking it off strong with Payton's buck-breaking adventures, continuing further with Sal the Spic's 21 kills, which puts him as the first American shooter since Patrick Crusius to get on the Top 50. A couple of minor shootings later, including a schizophrenic nigger who shot up a hospital after being deprived of his painkillers, and of course, this month's Robert Crimo. Dishonorable mentions go to Frank James and Raymond Spencer, both of whom failed to get A SINGLE FUCKING KILL!
Jonathan Sapirman, after seeing the failfest that was Noah's chimpout at a mall in Denmark, thought to himself that he could do it better. He was wrong.
The Fag with a Mag
As this case is fairly recent, for now, this could be updated in the futurah. Here's what we got. The man behind this poorly acted attack is said to be 21 year old Jonathan Douglas Sapirmann. He was a 4channer, a right wing extremist probably, and too scared to show his PC so he burned it. Doesn't that seem FAMILIAR?. From this we don't know much yet sadly. At young age, Johnny boy was left behind with Mama cuz father went to get da milk. I'm pretty sure this guy is another Adam Lanza copycat (2 in a month lol), as we can see on their imgur posts POSTED ON 4CHAN that he tries to do that same stupid Lanza shit. We don't know any of his socials yet, so stay calm edgy YouTube content creators, you're safe for a while ;). Notice how all these recent mall shooters can only get 3 PWns and after that they stop? Well that's stupid. Anyways after that we don't know anything. Here's the link to the 4chan post.
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Another mall shooting
An hour prior to the minor lulzfest, Johnny boy went in the mall and sat there in its restrooms, probably shitting his life out before becoming a badazz. After 1 hour and 2 minutes, he came out the shit-infested unclean food court bathroom and went in to do something good for society. He fired 24 rounds of ammunition from his Sig Sauer rifle, killing 3 people and injuring 2 in a matter of seconds. Sadly, this bright start would come to a quick end when some armed dude called Elisjsha Dicken who did a 360 no scope on Jonathan and ended it all in 2 seconds of bullet travel and brain death. She called the cops and told them what happened. The Johnson County Coroner has identified the deceased victims as 56-year-old Pedro Pineda, 37-year-old Rivera de Pineda, and 30-year-old Victor Gomez, all from Indianapolis.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 3/20 Go away faggot |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 7/20 24 shots fired with 3 killed and TWO injured |
| Style: | 4/20 Had TWO ARs but still did shit |
| Butthurt: | 2/20 Nobody cares |
| Bonus: | 0/20 Pwnt by an NPC and did absolutely dogshit with two ARs. YOU GET NOTHING. |
Wanted Level:
Mall Cop
See Also
- Patrick Crusius - Fellow spic exterminator.
- Noah Esbensen - Fellow 2022 mall shooter.
