Fast Food

The truth about fast food.

Fast food refers to dining venues which specialize in offering food service at high speeds. In reality the wait times often take up to ten minutes, as the stores typically only hire chimpanzees and/or acne-ridden teenagers who'll spit in your food, stick their dicks in it, put their feet in the produce, or fellate the taco shells.

The quality of this food ranges from absolute shit to garbage, and has been recently discovered to cause cancer. Under no circumstance should you consume this "food," unless you're poor and black, and thus are already a burden on society. Fast food is one of the leading causes of the obesity epidemic in the United States, and is why Americans are so fat and useless.

Notable stores:

• Burger King – Where the burgers taste like ass, the fries are soggy, and your drink is filled with piss and sweat.
• Chick-fil-A – Same thing as KFC, but even worse in quality. Only eat if bone-in chicken feels a little too much like real food for you.
• KFC – Food for niggers and rednecks from the South.
• McDonald's – Greasy and salty fries that will give you an orgasm and then a heart attack. All the rest of the items are disgusting and will make you shit your pants.
• Subway – Pay $10 for an 11-inch sandwich that lacks any flavor, aside from the cum punched in by your local Sandwich Artist.
• Taco Bell – Cheap and tasty for the first minute, then you realize you're eating rat meat and you shart all over the place.

This is a disambiguation page — we hope you feel less ambiguated.

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