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Azumanga Daioh
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Azumanga Daioh is a manga-turned-anime featuring schoolgirls, lolis, pedophiles, and a hell of alot of shit. The series notable in that it features only one male character, and he is a raging pedophile. It is also that rare kind of anime filled with schoolgirls but lacking even one pantyshot, yet otakus still smell the scent of vaginas in the air whenever they watch the show, which inevitably causes furious masturbation. To make up for the lack of breast groping gags, every remaining character is therefore one or more of the following: a lesbian, a roaring drunkard, a raging lolicon magnet, a plushie, or just plain batshit crazy.
Although the manga and anime have ended several years ago, series creator Kiyohiko Azuma decided to revive the series after working on Yotsubato! the whole time.
Plot
The entire series follows a small handful of schoolgirls over 3 years, crammed into a series or two. Nothing really interesting happens and it ends with them leaving school. That's about it. This video sums up the whole series in a nutshell.
Characters
Chiyo Mihama
The token loli of the series being about 8 years old, which means she has never even heard of the word "tits" let alone have any, so don't bother fantasizing about her sexually unless you're that way inclined. You can't have an anime without at least one loli character. She is the direct opposite of Osaka, in that she's the mega ultra super genius of the entire show, hence why she's in the same year as teenagers. But don't get too excited before you fuck a random person on the street and try to raise it as a super-genius and make money off of it (not that you can get any anyway), because a minor getting into a higher education school never happens IRL, by law. Because of her age, she's uselesss at sports and is vulnerable to being raped by pedophiles, because even Kimura is interested in some sweet virgin loli pie. She's also fucking rich, and spends most of her time at home alone with her dog and mounts her dog as a mode of transport. Late into the series, she looks after Sakaki's wild cat and invites Sakaki to her house for tea and crumpets. She's also notable for wearing that fucking stupid penguin costume.
After the end of the series, she's living in America getting some western manmeat.
Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga
The dumbshit character and transfer student, who is nicknamed for the place she came from and is the first member of the "Group of idiots". In the first episode, she was expected to act like a typical "Osakan", who is apparently meant to be loud and have a sense of fucking humour, but she's the Slowpoke of Azumanga Daioh. She's dumber than a bag full of bricks, has a really wild imagination, imagining wild shit like Chiyo's pigtails being a sentient beings, or being able to use them as wings. She falls asleep in all of her classes and yet she still somehow managed to pass her tests at the end of the series. Everyone who watches this shitty animu will always erotically fantasize about Osaka at least 100 times in every episode because of the gormless and "plain-looking" face she has. In the English version of the animu, she was given a Southern accent to reflect the fact that her parents were brother and sister.
Tomo Takino
She is basically Osaka if she was hyperactive whore with the stamina of a fatass who has never excercised a day in her life and she is the second member of the "Group of idiots". She is the queen of everyone with unwarranted self importance, by trying too hard and challenging people to competitions she can't win, like running, because she's such a fat-ass and is desperate for attention. She has a gay thing for Chiyo, pretending to hate on her sweet loli arse but in reality, stalks her Facebook and faps to her pictures every night. Her body can't keep up with her mind, meaning she's impulsive as fuck. Everything she does is on an impulse, almost as if she has to do stupid shit to survive but usually just pisses off everyone who watches the anime because she's so annoying. She is somehow the best friend and total bitch to Yomi, sharing tampons when they're outside of school. She cuts her hair late into the series which makes her look like more of a dyke for fanboys, who believe she is gay for Yomi while others think she craves the touch of the higher species.
Yomi
Opposite of Tomo, in that she pretends to be the most mature person in the series by acting the oldest, although it's just a complete ruse. She likes playing sports and is pretty athletic, but she is a total anorexic fatass, constantly going on diets because she's bigger than a house. Her jelly-rolls and stockings make her erotic to Tomo, so Tomo injects her food with lard to keep her from shedding all that weight. She loves to sing, but sounds like 10,000 dying cats. Fanboys better not tell Sakaki that, or she'll have an epileptic fit.
Sakaki
The first of the two teenage characters in the entire series to own a pair of tits the size of watermelons. She barely speaks, is the tallest girl in the series, has a batshit insane stalker and has never worked out a day in her life but is the most athletic girl in the entire school. It's later revealed that she has an obsession with cats and other cute things, including Chiyo, resulting in her keen interest in bestiality, being a lolicon, while being a lesbian at the same time. Despite the fact that she loves cats, one cat in particular hates her with a passion and even went so far as to gather an entire army of cats to rape her, but a wild cat she found at a zoo-like thing saves her and she keeps it at Chiyo's house while she's getting nearly raped by Kaori. Some argue that her obsession with cats is the true reason for Caturday, but people still don't give a shit.
Kagura
The second of the two teenage characters in the entire series to own a pair of tits the size of watermelons. She is a stereotypical female jock with a strong passion for sports; she lives, breathes, eats, shits and fucks sports in the arse and she makes up the third and final member of the "Group of idiots", because she is a total fucking retard and cannot divide by zero to save her life. Despite her obsession with all things sports, she is second best to Sakaki and because Sakaki is better than Kagura without even having to try, so sees her as a rival or some shit. Besides that, there's nothing noteworthy about her besides her grins which make her the female equivalent to the Cockmongler.
Kaori/Kaorin
Annoying jealous-girlfriendy type dyke who's gay for Sakaki, but Sakaki has her well into the friend zone. She is constantly stalking Sakaki wherever she goes, inviting herself along to any "trips" the group go on to scissor each other. She constantly plans to rape Sakaki, but whenever she's around her she gets too nervous to actually do it. To rub salt into the wound, the next in-series year she gets changed to Kimura's class and is split up from the main cast, and has very little screentime afterwards. Any screentime she does have, she is constantly stalked and almost raped multiple times by Kimura.
Chihiro
Kaorin's friend who was forgotten after the third episode. Her short hair-cut and similar appearance to Tomo suggests she's a dyke and is likely Kaorin's first crush until she saw Sakaki's huge tits. She is never seen again. Forever Alone.
Yukari
The best teacher in the world, she is the cancer of Nyamo's life; Known to be almost always drunk, never gets any, is a horrible driver which can scar an 8-year old for life, and she can speak and teach Engrish. She never shuts up and is often competitive towards Nyamo, trying to out-do her for popularity, somehow managing to take her entire class out to the swimming pool and not get fired. Nobody knows why Nyamo is friends with her, but it's thought that they are gay for each other because everyone in anime wants to fuck each other right?
If asked why she acts like she does IRL, she would reply: "I do it for the lulz".
Nyamo
The opposite of Yukari; A popular P.E teacher who seems to put up with Yukari's lulz-inducing mayhem for some reason, but can be brought down to Yukari's level from time to time, slowly becoming an Alcoholic to put up with it. She was a total whore when she was younger and revealed everything she'd done, while drunk, to the girls while mentally scarring them in the process.
Chiyo's father
Mascot of the show. He is a levitating yellow cat which speaks Engrish and Japanese (English and Spanish in the English version), who makes frequent cameos throughout the series and only majorly appears twice, once in Sakaki's dream, where he claims to be Chiyo's father, so by that logic her mother fucked a cat, and another in Osaka's dream where they were talking about tongues, birds and cats. Both times he seems to possess fucking huge moodswings, similar to The Red Guy from Cow and Chicken.
Kimura
Pedobear in human form. He likes schoolgirls and doesn't keep that fact to himself, in fact he was heiled as a God by generic male characters for admitting that fact. Throughout the series, he tries any way he can to get the girls to dress up in tight swimsuits because swimsuits are a Jap's fetish apparently. Despite his all-out obsession with teenage pie, the only girl he wants to fuck senseless is Kaori, which is ironic because she is a raging lesbian for Sakaki. Later in the series it's revealed he has a dumbshit wife who doesn't seem to care that he likes the loli.
Internets Relevance
Azumanga Daioh launched a hundred memes that were old before they were invented. Seriously, places like 4chan practically hemorrhage shopped Osaka and Chiyo pics.
Jewtube
Gallery
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Indeed. -
Not batshit crazy at all. -
Let's play pick the dyke... -
Lolicon alert. Neck already pre-broken for your convenience.
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Apparently being 8 years old is old enough to work at McDonalds.
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Osaka's ready for you.
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Sakaki's an anal slut.
Rating
- Action: Can't you fucking read? Nothing happens!
- Lulz: Over 9000 if you're a fangirl. About .35 if you're a Homer Simpson to anime.
- Pedophilia: Why don't you take a seat over there...
- Morals: At least there's no violence or suggested slavery themes.
- Overall: It's about the same level as Lucky Star, so it's complete shit. But it's worth a chuckle or two at someone's expense for liking the show.
See Also
- Daniel Benfield- avid fan of the series
External Links
- Kimura sings "Little Girls"
- TOW Page on the Anime. Vandalize for great justice!
- Chiyo on Rule 34.Paheal.net
Uncyc
- Also is the Uncyclopedian take on the Anime. Vandalize this, too!
And finally, the Uncyclopedian page dedicated to the loli character of Azumanga Daioh, Chiyo Mihama. Get to vandalizing!They huffed the article.
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Azumanga Daioh is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |