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Space Station 13
Space Station 13 is a lulzy free to play murder simulator with a playerbase of thirteen year old boys, furfaggots and wizards running on the Rube Goldberg machine of a platform known as Byond. Originally coded in 2003 by an someone named Exadv1, it only became playable when the turds from Something Awful showed up and began to fix the original pile of shit into a playable "game" complete with 16-bit graphics and a flaming 15fps! Soon after in 2010, the source code got released and 4chan's /tg/ smelled roleplay and flocked to it like flies to a pile of cow shit in July, quickly polishing the turd the goons had shat out and creating a new branch dubbed /tg/code. Furfaggots then sensed that erp was manifesting and for the first time ever, stopped fapping to dogs and began to weave code like niggers in a plantation and produced the Baycode branch in the 30 seconds they had stopped fapping. Unsurprisingly Baycode was filled to the brim with new special snowflake races and other garbage. Around 2009 some weary /v/irgins found out about the game and stole bits of code like a Mexican in a Walmart until they had made a branch of their own, /v/station, until eventually just settling on stealing from bay before doing all of that again and evolving it into /vg/station. Gamemodes usually revolve around being given a full pass to kill/steal everything, also known as being an "antagonist", selected randomly at round start and with luck it could even be you.
Lore
In 2055, a state of the art space station is erected in orbit around a gas giant by a monopoly known as Nanotrasen to research plasma. Inside the station are five departments detailed below, each with their own chain of command and assigned jobs. After a while some furry birds known as the vox show up and begin to steal shit and find employment with Nanotrasen who gladly accept free workers. On the other side of the galaxy are the syndicate, who want to steal Nanotrasen's research on plasma. Players are stuck in the middle of this shitfit and are tasked with the most complicated job of all, survive.
None of this shit actually matters and varies heavily from server to server, with places like bay taking it way too seriously
Departments
Security
An entire department of internet tough guys intent on stopping enemies of the corporation just like Judge Dredd, often played by aspiring server jannies for those who don't feel like just ERPing with catgirl admins directly.
Science
Supposedly who actually research the plasma they were sent to research, in reality filled with trolls and gun/bomb building terrorists who never actually research stuff to help the station
Engineering
Because of the "state of the art" status of the station, an entire department of the station is dedicated to fixing security's fuck ups, but generally the jobs involve spending 2 hours autistically increasing Plasma distribution cooling efficiency by 0.025% and more importantly, releasing a black hole for the lolz.
Medical
The hellish, blood and vomit stained department tasked with cleaning up the mess left behind from constant murder sprees and general bombings around the station, distracting these workers from more important duties such as getting high off of meth and making acids to spray at people.
Cargo
A useless department damned to ordering crates and metal for the rest of the station, eventually declaring themselves independent as cargonia and overthrowing the rest of the station.
Service
These jobs involve looking at the massive list of recipes on the wiki and forgetting 90% of them when the game is done. Also occasionally growing weed.
Civilian
The department of people still learning the fucked to hell controls, griefers and people who don't care about any of the hours long autism roles and just wanna gank people with toolboxes
Command
Roles that only matter for RP or fancier toys to abuse other players with. Remember, it's always THEIR FAULT.
Servers
Goonstation
The reason you play this game now. Origin of most of the game not looking like an MS paint vomited pile of shit, stayed closed source for a long ass time unlike other codebases until it was finally leaked twice in 2016 and 2020. Originally had almost no RP servers and tons of grief/lulz, nowadays one of the least fun servers, with systems like chemistry and atmospherics entirely gutted and mean words like "trap" banned, until its removals were finally bested by...
/tg/TGstation
The alledged 4chan server, bunch of retarded manchildren with a low amount of rules. The coders are too busy sucking their own dick to listen to the community, now removing even more features from goon such as cloning and about 90 fucking % of engineering. It's not full of as many degenerate furries as the other servers Screw that, now has a literal pseudo-furry race called "felinids" that every admin metaclub encourages playing as, but it's still pretty fucking gay tranny infested. It's run by this guy called MrStonedOne.
Derived servers:
- Beestation - A "beginner friendly" server with play-nice rules and an owner than supports antifa projects such as CHAZ.
- Fulpstation - Another newfag infested server, this time shat out of Newgrounds and rotated admins so much that it now has nothing to do with it, even old regulars like Oney are banned now.
- Kiwistation - Jersh's failed attempt at reclaiming gamer word rights from TG, eventually spiralled into no-RP anarchy causing jawsh to shut it down due to lack of interest. Also proposed removing most maps and the option to play as a woman.
Baystation
A ((((high rp)))) server where if you don't bend to the will of the admins or follow the shitty rules by the book then you get ban. Full of furries and Internet toughguys. For maximum lulz go on there and genocide anyone with a tail and justify it with some deep emotional reason to why you hate furfags.
Derived servers:
- /vg/station - The one true 4chan server, derived strangely from bay and not TG, not on the hub due to borderline sekrit club mentality like lifeweb. (without being almost impossible to get into) Unlike other servers, encourages the players to kill "catbeasts", making it pretty lulzy. Is run by a literal chicken known as Pomf.
- Vore station - Exactly what you think it is. An entire furry server focused on this fetish. Not as actually popular as the other furry ERP servers, thankfully.
Colonial Marines SS13 CM
A combat focused server that takes the lore of Alien franchise. This actually got them in trouble when a Fox lawyer contacted them because they were stealing the franchise or something. the server is closed source and they protect the code like their child even though its garbage. Feweh is a retarded Canadian who also happened to be a head administrator until people found out he had 11 alternate reddit accounts. Also just as apophis left he just gave the source code to harcourt for even more lolz. (Which harcourt promptly spread) Until recently the owner was Apophis who turned out to be a pedophile who worked at a school and fapped to Shota. He got doxxed for maximum lolz and got investigated by the fbi. Now the server is run by two retarded brothers.
Paradise
The ultimate HIGH RP server which has maximum RP rules. The best place for lulz, just insult anyone and they will cry to an admin. Half of the developers are furries.
Yogstation13
A medium roleplay server thats full of fags and admins that are too busy circle jerking to do their job. Its surprising that it's still alive.
Lifeweb
A super secret server that you have to pay to get into if you're a newfag. Its like medieval crossed with sci-fi crossed with rape. ты знаешь, сколько я сосать Run by this crazy russian called Randy Sandy...
Also you can pay to play as a trap.
SCP13
It's an SCP based server and it could have been good if the CODER WASN'T KACHNOV.
Citadel Station
Furries... Furries everywhere. Admins, players, coders.... all furries. It's the largest collection of faggots on Byond. Getting lulz from them is difficult due to just how retarded they all are. What you could do is learn the BYOND coding language then infiltrate the development team and get lulz from within when you remove erp.
Lebensraum
The WW2 server that's run by this guy called harcourt. He's a total retard and atleast once a month he ends up crashing the server. He also is a disgusting pole and hates jews on heelys. Lebensraum is a good server if its NOT LAGGING ALL THE TIME. Though harcourt promises he's trying to fix it.
Ways to troll servers
- Kill all vox/catbeast/whatever else furry race players while shouting loudly about how much you hate them.
- Make huge bombs and destroy the station with them. PROTIP: 170C plasma -100C oxygen.
- Blow shit up near sensitive engines like supermatter.
- Release plasma in the halls and then light it on fire.
- Delete all the research from the servers.
- Throw all of the surgery tools into disposals.
- Block people off with walls, wait for cries of FUCKING RETARDS DELETE THIS. Bonus points for stealing any tools that help them break out.
- Subvert the AI so that it kills all humans.
- Edit the javascript in popup windows to spawn singularities with pipe dispensers or whatever else works.
- Detonate multiple bombs at the same time.
- Tell people who the antagonists are in OOC chat.
- Kill yourself, become a ghost and tell everyone in the round who the antagonists are.
- Say anything negative about furry or tranny admins at all.
Famous People
Cuban Pete / rosham - A successful troll who learned how to make a bomb so large it crashed the server. The bug was soon fixed by anally annihilated coders and admins.
"Fuck you" Duny - An easy to milk gay frog lolcow from /vg/station who hates trolls and anyone who questions his massive ego boner.
Shoe Snatchin' Willy - Another successful troll from /vg/station who stole an entire severs shoes off of their characters and proceeded to murder them all, survive the admins attempts to cheat, and fight the game itself.
George Melons - Possibly one of the oldest successful trolls. He killed all of goonstation every single round because the goonstation admins thought it was really funny and let him do it. Claims to have killed everyone in every conceivable way and probably did.
Stoovan / Mastaflips - A big fucking retard who thinks lifeweb is out to get him. Also makes a total ass of himself on discord.
Apophis - A fucking child predator. Goes by Apophis775 and freeyourmind775. Ran the CM server until someone doxxed him and found his Sims forum account where he was asking for mods to uncensor children (a Shota mod). Further research found his rule34 page where he posted a picture of Johnny Test Shota porn. AND EVEN MORE research found that he teaches game design at a SCHOOL. When the news broke he tried to deny it and went to one of the forums and made a request to have the profile taken down. Too bad that showed up publicly. This was the nail in the coffin and Apophis retreated never to be seen again.
Oranges - A coder for /tg/ station who is basicly disillusioned with the community and only does work for tg because he likes the pain.
Iamgoofball - Yet another /tg/ coder who makes extremely unpopular decisions to remove lulzy features of the game to piss off the userbase.
Links
See also
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