Ed, Edd n Eddy

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Ed, Edd n Eddy was a Canadian-American cartoon show made by a bunch of pedophiles for little kids. It started in 1999, and it ended with a movie in 2009, mostly for all the oldfags to masturbate to. The show revolved around three Jew faggots whoring out to all their neighbors in their cul-de-sac, so they could afford 25¢ jawbreakers, which always ended in them getting fucked over by the excessively unfunny slapstick "humor."

The show's creator, Danny Antonucci, made this show out of a dare, which gave birth to this wretchedly batshit insane piece of mindfuck. There are no adults, which made some basement-dwellers create a shitty theory about how they're stuck in purgatory, even though they're probably just a bunch of orphans who act like they have parents to keep their crippling depression away. Image macros ripped from the show can also be found in large numbers on most chan boards.

The plot

Jew, Jeww and Jewwy are three outsiders/immigrants trying to fit in and get money from all the newfags of the neighborhood through their devious scams, although they always end up getting mindfucked in the end. They also want to lick Kevin's candy. Since they're all so shit at trolling people IRL, they always end up prostituting themselves, which isn't a hard thing to do, since every character in this show is a faggot. In the second episode, they show off to the cool kids in their tight, red-colored Speedo swimsuits.

The characters

Antonucci. Notice the badass tattoos on his arms.

File:EddyDoubleDKiss.gif

This kickstarted a shitload of yaoi fanfics.

The fanbase makes this show even worse than it already is.

• Ed - Dumbfuck with an unibrow, and a disgusting slob (very similar to this show's fans). He's best known for having assburgers and wanting to take part in chicken bestiality. Also, he once lost his shit when he got a pebble in his shoe, which made him tell Sarah to STFU and GTFO. Breaks logic on a daily basis.

• Double D (Powerword: Edd) - The smartass with a black condom on his head. For some reason, every single fangirl has to creampie over him, even though he's a beta moralfag, and, according to the movie, he has a crush on Eddy. Debates about what's under his hat have been made for at least 100 years, even though the most obvious answer is his conjoined, gay twin brother who whispers his gay thoughts to Double D every night, thus explaining why he's such a raging faggot. He also suffers from OCD, and labels everything in his room and in his house.

• Eddy - A fat, conservative Jew hated by everyone. Most of his scams are shit. Was thought to troll people for the lulz, but in the movie, after he cried like a little bitch, it was revealed that he was actually trying fit in, since his brother was an abusive fuck, or some shit. Even though he's too poor to buy candies, he's still suffering from diabetes. He's a midget with three strings on his head as hair. Can be as dumb as Ed too, thinking that in the Christmas special, he could actually grow a money tree.

• Kevin - The coolest kid of the group. He has a hidden crush on the Eds, thus the reason he spends all his time making fun of them. He has a mental disorder that makes him say DORK every three seconds. His sugar daddy works at a candy factory, which makes him a total badass in front of the other kids. He saw Eddy's brother beat the living shit out of him, which somehow made him respect Eddy. He's also the only male character to be voiced by a woman.

• Nazz - The main bitch of the group, to which everyone wants to have a grab at. Constantly offers her ass to Kevin, unaware of the fact that he's actually a homo. Most of the people who watched this show masturbated to her as kids (and likely still do today).

• Rolf - Newfag from the countryside that's definitely into bestiality, speaks fluent engrish, and is the Eds's most common client. He once got buttmad over Eddy's offensive and racist acts, which resulted in throwing him into a pit using a fish. He also has the same voice actor as Goku.

• Johnny - An african asspie who is forever alone with a plank as his best friend. Johnny is hated by everyone, and is constantly told to GTFO. He has an alter ego in which he wears a melon helmet.

• Plank - Johnny's personal vibrator. Is one of the best characters in the series, considering he's the only straight being from this show.

• Sarah - The most annoying, spoiled cunt to ever live. She only exists for pissing off the viewers, always bitching to the Eds and being unfunny in general, sucking out any fun this show could ever hope to have.

• Jimmy - Sarah's bitch, and just as obnoxious. Its actual sexuality has been discussed for at least 100 years.

• The Kankers - Trio of ghetto whores who sexually harass the Eds and probably browse Tumblr in their shitty trailer. Their group consist of:
  • Lee - An overbearing bitch and the leaderfag of the trio. Her target is almost always Eddy.
  • Marie - The edgy, emo bitch who probably listens to My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park. Like Nazz, a lot of kids masturbated to her. Edd's the one she likes harassing the most.
  • May - The buckteeth and submissive bitch. No redeeming qualities at all, except for being stupid as fuck. Wants to bed Ed the most, but has no idea how.

• Eddy's brother - Revealed in the movie, Big Bro is actually a pretty cool guy, and disciplines his Jewish little shit of a brother for being such a homo-fag. Gets pwnd by Ed and ends up getting raped by the Kankers.

The characters explained in Jewish clichés

• Ed - Dumbfuck that doesn't know anything and barely graduated high school but for some reason is making $65,000 a year as a janitor for the government. Living example that it's not what you know but rather who.

• Edd - The studious Jew whose mother makes him study every single hour and take violin lessons during his break times because she wants her son to graduate from Harvard.

• Eddy - What everyone expects a Jew to be. A walking cliché. Will most likely become either a lawyer or start an investment firm and later be forced to flee The U.S. because the SEC caught him in the middle of a Ponzi scheme.

• Kevin - The wanna be tough guy that will never get in a single fight in his life but will talk like he goes on a cross country, ass kicking tour every weekend. Will grow up to think that flashing cash, fast cars and leather jackets are sure fire ways to get the pussy. Sometime late in his 40s, he will come out of the closet after a bad divorce.

• Nazz - The J.A.P. Had her first nose job at 13 and believes that because she was blessed with blonde hair she is somehow above all female Jews. It should be noted that her first sexual experience happened at the age of 11 when her brother talked her into a hand job by convincing her that it was some kind of game which later set her up for the rest of her life when she realized sex is a means to an end. By the time she is 17, she will have fucked every boy in the cul-de-sac twice and will play as Jimmy's beard for a year or two to keep Jimmy's father off his ass.

• Sarah - The continually angry Jew bitch. Has PMS 365 days a year. Wont have a date until her 30s and will be lucky to get married, and if she does, she will make the poor guy's life a living hell. She is pretty much that girl that Jewish aunts are always trying to get guys to date with the promise that she'll ride your cock.

• Johnny - To put it bluntly, he's that Jew who will grow up to take a lot of vacations and by that I mean he'll spend a lot of time at the rubber Ramada.

• Plank - Just a piece of wood Johnny's mother painted a face on because she was too damn cheap to buy him G.I. Joe men.

• Jimmy - A full blown fag that will be thrown out of his house by his hard right, religious fundamentalist father the exact second he turns 18. When they're both 14, Jimmy and Kevin will have a gay experience which Kevin will get over but Jimmy will pine over until his late 20s when he overdoses on meth, ecstasy and gay sex.

• Rolf - The Jewish immigrant. Most likely from some Slavic shithole, and is probably the only Jew out of the bunch that can do a hard day's work. He most likely will save every cent he ever makes in America so he can move back to the shit hole he came from and live like a king.

• The Kankers - Better yet, the shiksas or non-Jewish girls that represent all the temptations for the Jewish male. They're shown to live as most Jews believe poor white Americans to live and that's in a mobile home, on public assistance and stuffing their faces with processed food while they watch Jerry Springer or NASCAR on the TV.

• Eddy's brother - The disinherited Jew, or a Jew that his family washed their hands of because of one reason or another, most likely because he was fucking a non-Jewish piece of ass and at the end of the movie when he's screwing all three shiksa, the Kankers, this is probably a reasonable assumption.

The movie

Wanting to squeeze money out of this franchise for one last time before putting it back into its coffin, Antonucci made a movie, filled with as much faggotry as ever. Kevin and his squad start the Holocaust, wanting to put an end to the Jewish Eds once and for all. This results in the Eds fleeing the cul-de-sac in search for Eddy's brother. And, big fucking surprise, this triggered Big Bro's memories of his abusive parents that were favoring Eddy, which made him punish his brother for being such a cunt. Ed unscrews a door that slams into Big Bro's face, and for some fucking reason, this makes the cul-de-sac kids forgive the Eds, and they all become best friends. Thus everyone is super happy, aside from the nigger. The end.

See also

• Faggotry
• Jews
• Money
• Samefags
• The Hebrew Hammer
• Unfunny