Jan Maturbongs

He wasn't even drunk and he looked like this.

Jan and Eva are in here someplace. They win diplomas for some meaningless Scilon interrogation course that they took.

Jan Maturbongs (moar liek Jan Masturdongs, amirite?) is a Scilon tuff guy in Amsterdam. His family came from Indonesia (the Netherlands used to own Indonesia, so there are lots of Indo welfare recipients - dole bludgers - living there). In fact, his family came from the head-hunter part of Indonesia, so he thinks he's a bad-ass. He has been a cult member since around 1994. He works in "Division 6, Introduction Courses and Services." His wife Eva is a "FLAG-Trained word-clearer" and occasional "auditor" (Scilons need "word-clearers" because they literally are punished if they haven't studied in the dictionary every word they read in Hubbard's books - and even then they still don't really understand the words, because Hubbard used special inaccurate non-standard meanings).

Violence is blue (asbestos?)

On the afternoon of the 10 May raids against Scientology, Jan started spazzing at an Anon who was casually strolling with an OG past the "org." The anti-Scilons jeet-kune-doh'd the guy's negative thetan-vibes and diverted the fight. A short time later, though, Jan wanted to argue with the un-brainwashed ex-Scilon. The OG told him what Hubbard used to say about Indonesians and other half-monkey races. Suddenly, Jan tried to rip the OG's shirt off, and would have punched him in the face but once again, Anonymous aikido'd the Scilon's bad energies and he went stumbling to the ground. Then the OG snapped a picture of him.

See Also

• ARS post
• Did you go to school with Jan?
• Here's Eva

Jan Maturbongs is part of a series on Scientology

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LOL TECH: Dianetics • Disconnection • Child abuse • Saint Hill • Scientology's History of the Universe • Sec Check • Freewinds • Sea Org • Glossary • Religious Freedom Watch • Volunteer Ministers • OSA • Space Opera SCILONS: L. Ron Hubbard • David Miscarriage • Tom Cruise • Scientology Agents • Tommy Davis • Rogues Gallery • Suri Cruise • Terryeo • Heaven's Gate • The Regime • Evil Jacket Guy • Joe Feshbach • VaLLarrr • Tom Newton • John Carmichael • Freezone • Captain Bill Robertson • Danny Masterson • Will Smith • Oschaper • Kendrick Moxon • Tim Armer • Jorge Serrano • Ron Savelo • John Travolta • Jett Travolta NOTORIOUS SPs: Anonymous • Wise Beard Man • Jason Beghe • Gas Mask Girl • Magoo • New Zealand Fail Guy • Message from Scientology • Shawn Lonsdale • Rorschach • Moralfags • Leaderfags • Raidfag Wench • James Packer • Leah Remini • Epic Nose Guy • Stu Wyatt • Tommy Gorman • The Unknown Autobot • Psychiatrists • Marcab Confederacy • David Wu-Kapauw • Epic Sword Guy • Agent Pubeit ENTURBULULZ: PROJECT CHANOLOGY • Why We Protest Forums • A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan • The Geterator • Neil Gaiman's Sandman • Paul "Fetch" Carnes • ReligionIsFree.org • You Found the Card • /i/ • alt.religion.scientology • Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX • 888chan (/td/)