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Jan Maturbongs

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He wasn't even drunk and he looked like this.
Jan and Eva are in here someplace. They win diplomas for some meaningless Scilon interrogation course that they took.

Jan Maturbongs (moar liek Jan Masturdongs, amirite?) is a Scilon tuff guy in Amsterdam. His family came from Indonesia (the Netherlands used to own Indonesia, so there are lots of Indo welfare recipients - dole bludgers - living there). In fact, his family came from the head-hunter part of Indonesia, so he thinks he's a bad-ass. He has been a cult member since around 1994. He works in "Division 6, Introduction Courses and Services." His wife Eva is a "FLAG-Trained word-clearer" and occasional "auditor" (Scilons need "word-clearers" because they literally are punished if they haven't studied in the dictionary every word they read in Hubbard's books - and even then they still don't really understand the words, because Hubbard used special inaccurate non-standard meanings).

Violence is blue (asbestos?)

On the afternoon of the 10 May raids against Scientology, Jan started spazzing at an Anon who was casually strolling with an OG past the "org." The anti-Scilons jeet-kune-doh'd the guy's negative thetan-vibes and diverted the fight. A short time later, though, Jan wanted to argue with the un-brainwashed ex-Scilon. The OG told him what Hubbard used to say about Indonesians and other half-monkey races. Suddenly, Jan tried to rip the OG's shirt off, and would have punched him in the face but once again, Anonymous aikido'd the Scilon's bad energies and he went stumbling to the ground. Then the OG snapped a picture of him.

See Also

Jan Maturbongs is part of a series on Scientology

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LOL TECH:

DianeticsDisconnectionChild abuseSaint HillScientology's History of the UniverseSec CheckFreewindsSea OrgGlossaryReligious Freedom WatchVolunteer MinistersOSASpace Opera

SCILONS:

L. Ron HubbardDavid MiscarriageTom CruiseScientology AgentsTommy DavisRogues GallerySuri CruiseTerryeoHeaven's GateThe RegimeEvil Jacket GuyJoe FeshbachVaLLarrrTom NewtonJohn CarmichaelFreezoneCaptain Bill RobertsonDanny MastersonWill SmithOschaperKendrick MoxonTim ArmerJorge SerranoRon SaveloJohn TravoltaJett Travolta

NOTORIOUS SPs:

AnonymousWise Beard ManJason BegheGas Mask GirlMagooNew Zealand Fail GuyMessage from ScientologyShawn LonsdaleRorschachMoralfagsLeaderfagsRaidfag WenchJames PackerLeah ReminiEpic Nose GuyStu WyattTommy GormanThe Unknown AutobotPsychiatristsMarcab ConfederacyDavid Wu-KapauwEpic Sword GuyAgent Pubeit

ENTURBULULZ:

PROJECT CHANOLOGYWhy We Protest ForumsA Scientologist's Guide to 4chanThe GeteratorNeil Gaiman's SandmanPaul "Fetch" CarnesReligionIsFree.orgYou Found the Card/i/alt.religion.scientologyComplete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX888chan (/td/)