Ferrari Guy

HELLO LADIES!

FG is actually half Jew.

"Ferrari Guy" (aka Tony Tag, aka Sammi Hagar, Tony Fag, aka Bikerfox 2.0) is a greasy 50 year old wannabe internet/IRL celebrity from Chicago who has reinvented the term douchebag. Described as a mix of a retired porn star and a washed up 80's hair band reject, this asshole has recently been promoting his fail all over the internet whilst trying to pimp his shitty "services" online, charging $300/hr to morons stupid enough to pay his over-the-hill ass for a ride to 7-11.

It seems that Ferrari Guy recently closed his website (back now) in record time only a week after his faggotry and spray tanned mug were discovered, making the usual rounds on every forum and blog on the interbutts in mid June. A new hub for his faggotry may be up and running soon so dozens more can ask exactly how this dumbass owns a Ferrari in the first place.

	“	The Most Photographed Man in the Country. Next To The President!!!	„
	—Ferrari Guy website, lol k

The Douche Himself

FG's mid-life crisis includes a gold plated guitar he can't play.

No douchebag is complete without personalized license plates

Ferrari Guy likes to think of himself as a fixture of the Chicago-land area and the hottest new thing on the internets. He's a guy who's all about getting himself out there and he'd love you to drop at least a week's salary at your shitty job so you can look like a complete faggot sitting next to some hipster wop with a mullet. As you probably guessed, this guy isn't the wonderful human being he makes himself out to be, he's actually one serious faggot IRL.

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Some argue that he goes right into full-on greaseball mode the moment he wakes up, while others believe that it takes him a few hours to build up to it. Since no one will ever wake up next to this loser, we will never know for sure.

Tony Getting Trolled

File:Ferrari guy tranny.png

For whatever reason, he looks like a 50 year old housewife.

Tony getting seriously butthurt...

GG

Tony is PISSED!

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OH SHIT DON'T FUCK WIT DIS GUY!!!!!1!

Ferrari Guy's TOW Article

Much to Tony's dismay it turns out he isn't quite internet famous yet, so they dumped his shitty TOW stub, which seemed to consist of exactly one half cock slurping and one half lulz.

• Cached copy here

Quotes

Needs moar spray tan

Why is your belt unbuckled? No, REALLY.

Tony fancies himself the alpha male you could only dream to be and awaits the day when Chicagoans greet him with open arms to hoist him on their shoulders. Unfortunately, most citizens of the windy city seem to have a different opinion of him:

	“	There's eccentric, and then there's reality disconnect.	„
	—Turbineguy

FG's Adoring Public

	“	I see this guy all the time. I ride my bicycle to work a lot during the summer and the douche is always parked out at the lakefront with his shirt off sitting on the hood of his Ferrari. I have long gotten a major prick vibe just seeing him, this confirms it. If you want to witness in person go to the North Ave Beach parking lot (by the fake ship beach house) on a sunny day. He WILL be there.	„
	—dopplerd (sounds like a plan)

	“	I've seen this guy on Michigan Avenue for years, and he always looks like an idiot. He's usually shirtless! I wouldn't be caught dead in his car. All the locals are quite familiar with his obnoxious prowling downtown and you'd look like an idiot next to him.	„
	—b612markt

	“	This is the way to kill the competition. Have this douche drive their cars.	„
	—brickyard

	“	I live in Chicago and literally see this guy down in the beach parking lot every time I go down there. I believe his name is Tony Tag. Last Sunday I saw him digging through the trunk of his El Dorado. It's a piece of sh*t. Very Jew, very red. My buddy and I were talking before our arrival wondering if we'd see Tony down there, and sure enough, he was! Shirtless as usual. We always thought his Ferrari was a kit car.	„
	—Patrick B.Knudsen

	“	I'm not 100% positive but last year in May I was at a convention in the city and afterwards I went for a walk down Michigan Avenue and I saw someone who was driving either a red F430/F360 and he had long curly platinum blond hair. He was cruising the downtown area and kept making passes and attempting to show off his car. I only remember the incident because he had personalized license plates which read "Tony T". The plates on his homepage are different but it may have very well been the same guy.	„
	—Some other fag who saw him

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Trivia

• His website says he will drive you around on your wedding, but the car has just two fucking seats.
• Check under "Services" on his site. Wonder what the "Special Gift" is?
• Limo for one? But still 300 fucking dollars? You get to ride with him for 5 minutes and pay a huge fucking price.
• Gets extremely butthurt if you question his sexuality.

External Links

He's totally hip, he's totally cool, he's totally 50. Really though, who the fuck plays guitar at the wheel of their car?

• Ferrariguyforhire.com - His website for jewery. *Ferrari Guy's deleted TOW article - Decidedly unfamous.
• Would you pay this douche 300 dollars to drive you in his ferrari? - Lulzy article on Ferrari Guy. Read the comments for moar lulz.
• Tony Tag is broke
  • Tony fag
  • Nice mantits

See Also

• Cool dude
• Guido
• The 1980s
• Theft
• Internet Celebrity
• Internet Model
• Internet Tough Guy
• Totally oblivious that you're not a young alpha male anymore