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Mariana's comments teach a valuable lesson in [[irony]], as well as the inability of [[aspies]] to realize when they're being trolled. When called out on being a shameless promoter for her friend and a creepy furry, Mariana responded by announcing that she was ''"actually a pretty nice guy"''. She would later "prove" this point by boasting that ''"a lot of [her] friends, and [her] family think [she is] a nice person"'', and that she has ''"donated to numerous charities"''. When it was later pointed out that she could not go a single comment without shoe-horning in an obnoxious number of irrelevant pop culture references, she stated that she is ''"quite an avid reader – [[Shit nobody cares about|[she has] not only all of Roger [Ebert]’s film books but [she] also [has] read Bruce Campbell’s autobiography If Chins Could Kill as well as Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way, [she] also thoroughly enjoyed Jay Leno’s book Leading With My Chin]]."''
Mariana's comments teach a valuable lesson in [[irony]], as well as the inability of [[aspies]] to realize when they're being trolled. When called out on being a shameless promoter for her friend and a creepy furry, Mariana responded by announcing that she was ''"actually a pretty nice guy"''. She would later "prove" this point by boasting that ''"a lot of [her] friends, and [her] family think [she is] a nice person"'', and that she has ''"donated to numerous charities"''. When it was later pointed out that she could not go a single comment without shoe-horning in an obnoxious number of irrelevant pop culture references, she stated that she is ''"quite an avid reader – [[Shit nobody cares about|[she has] not only all of Roger [Ebert]’s film books but [she] also [has] read Bruce Campbell’s autobiography If Chins Could Kill as well as Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way, [she] also thoroughly enjoyed Jay Leno’s book Leading With My Chin]]."''


Numerous trolls and tartlets alike have begun to [[flamewar|argue]] with Mariana on the comments of the articles, in the hopes of getting her to confess more lulzy secrets and leave more laughable quotes. Recent posters have taken to imitating Mariana, and causing her to [[rage]] about her ''"identity being stolen"''. As DCQC exists entirely to attract complaints, they have yet to [[stfu|"silence her"]], and don't have plans to. So long as this is the case, Nathan will likely continue to [[troll bait|comment]].
Numerous trolls and tartlets alike have begun to [[flamewar|argue]] with Mariana on the comments of the articles, in the hopes of getting her to confess more lulzy secrets and leave more laughable quotes. Recent posters have taken to imitating Mariana, and causing her to [[rage]] about her ''"identity being stolen"''. As DCQC exists entirely to attract complaints, they have yet to [[stfu|"silence her"]], and don't have plans to. So long as this is the case, Mariana will likely continue to [[troll bait|comment]].


{{clear}}
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Revision as of 00:37, 20 February 2012


This is actually one of her better works, laughably enough.
File:Weregrinchliar.jpg
Claims to have been friends with a Dr. Seuss, despite the good doc being dead for over 20 years.

Fursonas come in all shapes, sizes, and species. You have obese raccoons whose only goal it is is to become fatter by eating trash disguised as food, foxes who want nothing more out of life than to get fucked up the ass by every species on the planet, and otters who aspire to be great authors of our era. Sadly, these constitute as little more than "run-of-the-mill" for the furry community, as the extremes that exist within their vile ranks make the standard furry seem almost acceptable by comparison.

She lurks in the darkness of the dA forums, seeking out her prey. With a taste for trolls, she leaps from the shadows and into the spotlight, becoming the center of attention wherever her hunt may take her. Her fursona is so oddly specific, there could not possibly be a pack or tribe of her kind: She is a werewolf version of Canadian actor John Candy, trapped inside the body of a supposedly 40 year old aspie.

Welcome to the world of DrMusic2; a self-declared "natural born werejohncandy".


Artistic Endeavors

Like most tartlets with plenty of time to spare, Nathan has a substantial body of work behind her. She has posted a minimum of three "stories" per day - as well as a varying number of "photomanips" sporadically over the course of a week - since she first registered her deviantART account in July of 2009. Yet, despite this body of work and the time she has spent on deviantART, she has only managed to amass 39 followers as of May 7th, 2010. Of course, this fact hasn't slowed Nathan down at all, as she has multiple submissions filed under literally every submission category deviantART has to offer. Now THAT'S dedication.

Unsurprisingly, there isn't a single decent or salvageable piece in her entire gallery.

Written Works

Fanart of Nathan in her dreaded "weregrinch" form. Just kidding. She has no fans
You wouldn't like her when she's angry!
   
“ 		 
My monster world character is named Nathan Talbut who is a weregrinch, his nicknames are Nate and Tshe Grinchman. His monster nickname is Growler.
  		„
  		 

—Excerpt from "Monster world me"

   
“ 		 
As you know most werelenos are evil, tshey act nice to trick tsheir victims and to hide tsheir truly villainous nature and you know how traumatic it was wshen my character got turned into one, he'll never be able to live it down - the chin stretching out and becoming like a proper wereleno chin was the worst part.
  		„
  		 

—One of her more recent journal entries

A large bulk of her writing deals with her imaginary army of imaginary monsters, whom she sends after her real e-enemies to exact her "revenge" upon them. In their off-time, they'll fight imaginary crimes offline, hang out in an imaginary bar which caters exclusively to imaginary monsters, or hide in their imaginary closets (Nathan apparently does not understand the connotations that come with doing so).

Outside of her "Monster" series, she also pens a series by the title of "Tales From the Web" (Which serves more direct call-outs of her online enemies) and a number of one-off stories. They are childish at best, and unsettling at worst. To think that any one person could devote so much time to producing stories and still be such a poor writer is a baffling prospect, especially when it is taken into account that her choice of subject matter is more becoming to the works of a 4th grader than a 40 year old.

To read through the entirety of her written works would take more time to spare than anyone should care to calculate, let alone spend. To legitimately enjoy her writing would take the mental state of a thoroughly tasteless toddler.

Selected Works:

  • "The weregrinch in your closet" (In which Nathan alludes nearly a dozen times to "coming out of the closet")
  • "Fright Force" (Roll call for Nathan's personal army of monsters)
  • "Grinchin Out" (A story in which she murders a troll who made fun of one of her friends)
  • "The Truth Behind ED" (Nathan reveals ED to be a front for "aliens from another universe" using tartlets "as test subjects for their bizzare experiments")
  • "Monster factfile: EDiots" (Nathan continues to blow the lid off of the ED conspiracy!)
  • "Night Of The EDiots" (Nathan finally solves deviantART's ED problem by pretending to slay our userbase in an unfunny Evil Dead parody! Notice her fixation with the handsome strong jawed shop assistant.)
  • "School rant" (In which Nathan confirms she is a 10-year old girl trapped inside a 40-year old man's body)
  • " (Nathan describes how she could best her idol in a fight)

Illustrations

While she isn't drawing or writing, Mariana likes to play sports.
File:Dr Music.jpg
What do you have against gays?

Her art, however, is far more convenient to flip through, and elicits far more lulz from the viewer. The majority of her artistic submissions are simply MSPainted pictures of her werejohncandy fursona, touching upon every variety of suggestive pose. Never mind the fact that John Candy was never much of "a looker" in real life: Slap a heap of fur onto his face and make him strut his stuff, and it's nearly enough to make you vomit in your mouth. Remember folks: This is how Mariana imagines herself as what she "really looks like", trapped inside her shell of a human body.

Her visual deviations will occasionally deviate from her so-called "norm". She hosts rather large photograph galleries, of her "friend" made up in various face-paints and her collection of children's plushies. She has drawn a number of celebrities in their animal forms, and concept art for her upcoming video game: Military Koalas: Marsupial Squadron. She has even paid tribute to the late "King of Pop" herself, as a redshirt from Star Trek.

Putting aside her repetition of themes and characters in her works, there are plenty of lulz within her gallery. From the utterly ironic to the hilariously inept, nearly every picture in her gallery is amusing in its own right. All that's left for her to do is post some proper Rule 34 of herself, and she will have officially dabbled in every genre of art officially recognized by the internet. However, until that day, there are still enough lulz to last a lifetime on her page right now.

For selected illustrations, see her gallery section here.

The White Knight

DevART Coalition for Quality Control

   
“ 		 
Did I mention i also have connections with the mafia?
  		„
  		 

—Mariana, on the comments of "Month in Review: March 2010"

A photomanip worth fighting for, according to Mariana.

A project run by a group better known for their YouTube commentaries, DCQC is designed to troll tartlets with terminal cases of USI. The concept of fair use eludes their targets, and they cannot grasp the concept that someone has the legal right to review and mock their "art" under the fair use exception to copyright laws. After commenting on a laughable photomanip of a girl as a raccoon as part of a larger article about raccoon art in general, Mariana discovered the page and left a series of disapproving comments. It turned out that the picture was the work of a friend of hers, and that she was committed to having the article taken down. After a failed attempt at convincing the dA staff to get involved, and having temporarily hijacked another tartlet's complaint thread in order to rally users against DCQC (as well as further promote her friend's artwork), Mariana began to comment on other articles on the page, and to fight other tartlet's battles for them.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Mariana's comments teach a valuable lesson in irony, as well as the inability of aspies to realize when they're being trolled. When called out on being a shameless promoter for her friend and a creepy furry, Mariana responded by announcing that she was "actually a pretty nice guy". She would later "prove" this point by boasting that "a lot of [her] friends, and [her] family think [she is] a nice person", and that she has "donated to numerous charities". When it was later pointed out that she could not go a single comment without shoe-horning in an obnoxious number of irrelevant pop culture references, she stated that she is "quite an avid reader – [she has] not only all of Roger [Ebert]’s film books but [she] also [has] read Bruce Campbell’s autobiography If Chins Could Kill as well as Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way, [she] also thoroughly enjoyed Jay Leno’s book Leading With My Chin."

Numerous trolls and tartlets alike have begun to argue with Mariana on the comments of the articles, in the hopes of getting her to confess more lulzy secrets and leave more laughable quotes. Recent posters have taken to imitating Mariana, and causing her to rage about her "identity being stolen". As DCQC exists entirely to attract complaints, they have yet to "silence her", and don't have plans to. So long as this is the case, Mariana will likely continue to comment.

Posts Mariana has commented on:

Slapstick Anarchy

File:Drmusic2sasc.jpg
Mariana attempts to have a srs debate about how to kill the imaginary monster she invented, before going on to compare ED to Perez Hilton.

A decidedly obscure blog by the name of Slapstick Anarchy reviewed a piece written by Mariana entitled "I love Werejohncandyism", under the assumption it was an elaborate joke. When Mariana came to defend her honor, however, the author soon found that she was indeed legitimate. Overnight, rents' blog which had previously had no more than a comment on any of it's previous articles found itself knee-deep in walls of text, posted by none other than the werejohncandy herself.

Noting the success of her first entry, rents would later write two companion pieces, including an in-depth explanation of the anatomy of a werejohncandy, and a public service announcement detailing how to slay a werejohncandy. Mariana, in all her childish stupidity, mistook these joke articles for legitimate guides, and argued that rents had "got it all wrong", completely oblivious to the fact that nobody in the world takes the concept of her fursona seriously besides herself. She would enter pages-long back-and-forth debates with the webmaster, whom apparently had nothing better to do than to argue with an autistic 40-year-old men who believe they are werewolf actors trapped inside human bodies.

Posts regarding Mariana:

Fursona Swapping

File:Drm2 nbwjc.jpg
Overnight, Mariana's deviantID changed from this...
File:Drm2 nbwg.jpg
... To this. So much for "natural born"!
   
“ 		 
I've decided to change my monster persona from a werejohncandy to a weregrinch. The reason why is that the weregrinch is simply more badass and besides no one would dare to pick on a weregrinch.
  		„
  		 

—Excerpt from "Monster Form Switch"

   
“ 		 
Well it all started when I was at Universal Studios Hollywood, I spotted Jim Carrey while sight seeing, I tried to go up to him but he was too fast and he bit me on the hand - now every night i turn into a grinch.
  		„
  		 

— DrMusic2, on the origins of her disease.

File:Werejc badge by DrMusic2 1.jpg
"I don't claim to be a werejohncandy, I really am one. Here is my id to prove it."
John Candy is disappoint.
The legacy of fine art Mariana is now leaving behind her.

Overnight, following this article going live and DCQC announcing it on their page, Mariana decided to swap out her fursona in a desperate attempt to avoid being trolled. Whole-heartedly believing that by announcing she was one species of imaginary monster instead of some other form of imaginary monster, that the Internet might leave her alone, completely oblivious to the fact that her claiming to be ANY BREED of imaginary monster is warranting of continued trolling.

Never mind the absolutely retarded idea that Mariana srsly believes - now that she is a "weregrinch" - that she is beyond mockery: The fact that she is now feverishly denying ever having been a werejohncandy is perhaps candidate for the single most absurd "turn on a dime" ever performed by a victim in the history of documented trolling. Since the day she joined dA, she had been claiming to be a "natural born werejohncandy". One sleepless night later, and her page now boldly claims that she is and has always been a "natural born weregrinch". How you can be "naturally born" as one species, and then claim the next minute you were "born" some other species is beyond me. Not even trannies deny that they were born as either a male or female before deciding to make the change.


Evidence confirming Mariana's past as a werejohncandy:


It can be concluded from these so-called "stories" that Mariana did, at point in time, believe she was "born a werejohncandy." The reason for her deciding she no longer wishes to affiliate with her made-up species of make-believe monster is that she legitimately believes in her made-up monsters, and legitimately believes that her made-up weregrinches are beyond real mockery. Unfortunately for her, her monsters aren't real, and the Internet doesn't take kindly to sick fucks who have given up on humanity and wish instead that they were born as animals. As such, even as she pretends to be her new weregrinch fursona, she will still be subject to mockery, as she rightfully should be.


UPDATE: New fursona!

Elaborating on her fetish for transforming into overweight comedians, DrMusic has now professed to be a Wereleno on her new dA account. That's right: part wolf, part Jay Leno, and part sasquatch turd.


   
“ 		 

Name: WereLeno.

Type: Large humanoid shapechanger with a big chin.

Special Quality: Have the appearance, voice and characteristics of Jay Leno circa 1980 to 1998, skilled fighters, great at being villainous, chin emphathy, remarkably deadly and sinister like Dracula, extremely high intelligence, keen senses, a keen sense of humour, make great villains, have a powerful chin, can sense when danger is near.

Description: Beware of the chin. WereLenos are the most diabolical werecreatures in the land. They have the appearance, voice, and characteristics of Jay Leno circa 1980 to 1998 as well as various interesting super powers including chin based hidden powers, they have dark fur with silverish undertones, a long mane, pointed ears, claws, fanged canine teeth, a black nose, glowing orangish eyes and bushy eyebrows. VVereLenos are very rare and elusive in some states and trying to find one is an impossibility as is becoming one.

To become one of these you have either have a birthday on the same date as Jay Leno himself, touch Jay's chin (this is the classic way) or be a blood relative of his- another way to do this is to have a special bond with your chin (this is called "Chin telepathy") in which your chin must become sentient in order for it work.
 

„
  		 

—- CHIN POWERS. You can't make this shit up.


Continued Trolling

Take care not to confuse the Sasquatch with a proper troll.

Trolling Mariana is just about as easy as can be, and keeping her continued attention is as simple as not giving into her demands: If she wants you to take down a copy of one of her pictures, rehost it on as many image-hosting services as you can and send the URLs to her. If she wants you to leave her friends alone, harass them until they leave deviantART. Whatever you do, don't believe her lies, and don't let her convince you that she's a "nice guy" (aspies are subhuman, and are incapable of emotion).

If you're too stupid to figure out on your own how to piss off a furry, here are some helpful tips you can use to pretend you're a troll:

  • Suggest that a werewolf version of John Candy is a stupid fursona to have
  • Suggest that a werewolf version of Jim Carrey as the Grinch is a stupid fursona to have
  • Remind her that John Candy died of a heart attack at age 43, and that Mariana "doesn't have much time left!"
  • Remind her that Jim Carrey is a talentless hack, and that the live action Grinch movie sucked
  • Tell her Steve Martin is better than Jim Carrey
  • Say you like Were(insert another dead comedian)s better!
  • Critique her art, and watch her accuse you of flaming regardless of how legitimate your criticisms are
  • Make fun of her supposed friends
  • Make fun of her supposed friends' pictures
  • Remind her that online acquaintances are not real friends
  • Remind her that only children believe in imaginary monsters
  • Accuse her of being gay
  • Accuse her of being egotistical
  • Accuse her of shamelessly promoting for her supposed friends
  • Any or all of the above, but on a site that isn't deviantART that she can't delete your entries on (Or have someone else do it for her).
  • Tell her she is violating copyright law.
  • Tell her that her "friend" Andria Kilgore is a sockpuppet


Reactions to Encyclopedia Dramatica

On deviantART and DCQC...

Mariana, failing to spell "goddamn" or "Encyclopedia" correctly.
File:Drm2redodq.jpg
Denying her history as a werejohncandy, and cursing ED.
File:Dm2edreaction-jim.jpg
Coming to the defenses of Jim Carrey and Bruce Campbell.
File:Drm2redodq2.jpg
An amusing exchange between Habermann and Mariana.
File:Drm2redodq3.jpg
Mariana explains the science behind her madness.
File:Drm2redgoaway.jpg
Mariana tosses the word "lulz" as if she knows what it means.
   
“ 		 
Technically you deserved it. And unless you take down that article on ED about me i’m afraid i’m going to have to write another one – perhaps about one of your minions. And i didn’t maul to death, i spared your tie and your shoes.
  		„
  		 

—Excerpt from a comment on "Nathan F" on Encyclopedia Dramatica

   
“ 		 
So what if i still believe in monsters? There is nothing wrong about believing in monsters or that you are one.

They don't understand me, no not at all.
 

„
  		 

—Excerpt from "Enclyopedia Dramatica gone too far"

   
“ 		 
Attention EDiots, if you're looking for lulz you have come to the wrong place. In fact all the lulz here were already gone before you showed up.

In fact by the time you read that article on ED it will already be too late, the lolz are all dead. The lolcow has been milked and slaughtered to death and is now a dish at the lolstakehouse. There is nothing more for you to see.

There is nothing more to add, there is nothing to see here - move along now.

You can all get on with your lives now.
 

„
  		 

—Excerpt from "The lulz are gone"

   
“ 		 
... You have no right to do this to people like me.
  		„
  		 

—Excerpt from a comment on "Nathan F" on Encyclopedia Dramatica


On her personal blog...


And even on Encyclopedia Dramatica itself!

File:Drm2oned1.jpg
MysteryBot can not compute the humanoid concept of "dreaming".
File:Drm2oned2.jpg
Plugging Uncyclopedia on an article's talk page is a great way to convince ED to take your article down!

EDF 2 Saga

In July 2011, after the forums has been resurrected for the 2.5th time, an EDiot made a topic about ED's asspie brother METOKUR. A few posts after, something brown, furry and Canadian appears! Mariana Hanks started bitching about how she white knighted some furry chick on Metokur which caused her to be IP banned. EDiots quickly hung her up like a piñata and beat the lulz out of her. She continued to contradict herself in the thread, which turned into a "DrMusic2 Gangbanging Thread". Then, she made a thread pleading to Zaiger to take down her article, but she continued to make an ass out of herself.

   
“ 		 
My favorite part is how the people on this pathetic troll breeding ground you call a website are obsessed with lulz and make bad meme references and post overly large pictures just to make a point, I also like how one of them took one of the John Candy movie screencaps I have without permission and used a crappy photo-editing program and typed shut the fuck up on it.

Seriously, you guys need a life outside of trolling. Like get a girlfriend or a boyfriend and abuse them for a change.
 

„
  		 

—- DrMusic2, calmly telling those nasty trolls off.

Even John Candy wants DrMusic to STFU

Her spergings were then ignored by the Ediots in the thread. She blames this on ED's server and gave a suggestion.

   
“ 		 
The only reason it takes twice the effort for me to reply is because the server on this site keeps acting up, and also it's damn slow. No wonder the actual ED site keeps getting taken off and moved to another server.

GET A FASTER MORE SECURE SERVER NEXT TIME.
 

„
  		 

—DrMusic2 knows CSIII

She repeatedly posted in the thread saying TAKE MY ARTICLE DOWN OR ELSE not knowing that posters on the thread aren't even EDitors or sysops (except for Zaiger). She was then instructed to get on IRC, but she doesn't even know what IRC is. After finally installing IRC, she instead went to some furry chatroom. Meanwhile back on EDF, she bragged that she has talked to sysops who agreed to take down her article.

   
“ 		 
A little late for the party aren't ya? I went on ED IRC yesterday and asked one of the SYSOPS to take it down and they did.

If it seemed like I was crying, that's a little something called acting.
 

„
  		 

—DrMusic2 daydreamed

Ediots demanded proof, which DrMusic replied with more white noise. Which then Zaiger replied:

   
“ 		 
Well he talked to me, not on IRC but on the Forums. He was polite and cordial so I told him I would delete it. However, since he immediately went to gloat and troll and act like a total dick about it I am not going to waste my time deleting something for that rude person when it is not my responsibility to begin with. Sorry DrMusic, you should have just GTFO while you were still ahead.
  		„
  		 

—Zaiger puts the final nail on a weregrinch's coffin

With that:


According to eyewitness reports, the werejohncandy/werejayleno can still be seen roaming the internet wilderness, where she continues to post complaints on ED's page (which she then deletes an hour later).

The werejohncandy speaks

U MAD?

It's da truth guise

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Galleries

Photomanipulation About missing Pics
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"Original" Compositions About missing Pics
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Fucking Koala Bears About missing Pics
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See Also

External Links

Contact Information

  • AIM: DocM
  • ICQ: 43409
  • MSN: TheGoodDoctor
  • Skype: Monstermaster1392
  • Home Address: 28 Rosemary Avenue, Forrest Hill, Auckland, NZ

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Featured article May 10, 2010
Preceded by
Lawrence Taylor / Catherine Deveny (Double Feature) 		DrMusic2 Succeeded by
HAARP
Featured article August 19 & August 20, 2011
Preceded by
EDiot 		DrMusic2 Succeeded by
Nevada-tan
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