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Beccah Beushausen: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 00:06, 27 May 2012
Rebecca "Beccah" Beushausen is the fat-ass insane attention whore behind the "April Rose" blog scam. Knowing how much fundie pro-lifers love fucked up fetuses she created a blog about her fake "pregnancy" with a hideous monster baby and milked it for all it was worth.
April Rose - A Scam is Born
In late March 2009 a woman who looks like Jay-Leno in a bad wig named Rebecca "Beccah" Beushausen, 26 of Mokena, Illinois, started an anonymous pro-life blog about herself and her fucked-up fetus named April Rose. She claimed April Rose was diagnosed with holoprosencephaly[1] & trisonomy 13[2]. These defects would result in deformed cyclops baby that also has a chromosomal defect rendering it retarded and incompatible with life.(So precious!) Of course, a baby this insanely fucked-up gets fundies near orgasmic and they all took turns praising Beccah for her courage and determination to shit out a genetic monster incompatible with life outside the womb. Everyday Beccah posted endlessly about herself and April Rose, along with enough Christian schmaltz to make Jesus himself want to puke.
— Crazy Cunt Lying about her fake monster fetus in new Christianize language |
Of course, her fundie audience just ate that shit up and asked for seconds. Most normal people couldn't tolerate one sentence of her god-awful, stomach turning prose but since fundies don't read they thought she was truly a brilliant writer inspired by jeebus.
Wait... they fell for it?
The Scam Whore Kicks into High Gear
Beccah created dozens of sock-puppets to promote her scam all over the internet, esp. at other pro-life and christian blogs. These numerous sock-puppets also did double duty, acting as "B's friends" in order to lend credibility to her insane lies when needed. The blog freakshow of little April Rose became the web darling of wacko christians, pro-life nutjobs, and bored housewives all over the country.
When Beccah realized her audience was hooked she started making not-so-subtle hints about how poor she was and how tough it was to be a single mother to a freakshow in the making. Shockingly, and only due to popular demand mind you, a PO Box suddenly appeared so donations and gifts could be sent. She tricked a naive fundie couple into her scam by having them produce "April Rose" t-shirts she could sell on her blog.
Next numerous ads started appearing all over her scam blog, but since Beccah was so poor the cries of bad taste were muted. Being a seasoned scam-whore Beccah attempted to brand her blog with the cringe worthy slogan, "Hoping in Pink." She soon was able to get legitimate businesses to do fundraising items for her and her fake fetus. She had hairbows, shirts, bracelets, clothing all done with her catchy new slogan. She even had her readers send in pictures of themselves in the scam-shirts or holding "hoping in pink" signs.
A blog, numerous donations & gifts, product tie-ins, promotional items, t-shirt sales, constant posts & emails singing her praises were still not enough for this most epic attention whore. So Beccah decided to have a vanity photo session done to commemorate her fake baby blog scam. She stole the services of organization that provides free photographers to women with doomed babies. Nothing was too good for her precious, deformed, fake baby. She was also retarded enough to post the photos.
Whiffs of a Scam
Over the course of the blog a few people had emailed Beccah or left comments declaring bullshit on the whole thing. Beccah usually reacted by being supremely butthurt, wailing cries of indignation and invoking her homeboy jesus. These incidents got her fundie army rallying round the scammer and rabidly attacking anyone who questioned Saint Beccah and her more obvious lies and inconsistencies.
But by the time Beccah's pregnancy had rolled into its 42nd week even the simple-minded fundies were starting to question the blog's validity. They even had the audacity to question Queen-Psycho Bitch Beccah about her scam.
—Beccah's indignant response when confronted with the truth |
Beccah's Cunt Finally Squirts
Enough questions were being asked about her 10 1/2 month super pregnancy that Beccah decided it was time to give the fundies the grand finale they demanded - producing April Rose. Luckily, since this was a fake fucked up baby Beccah had arranged to conveniently give birth at home on the toilet. The home birth also allowed her and her sock-puppets to give dramatic, jesus laden updates through-out the blessed event. Her batshit blog got over a million hits from people checking on her fake cunt spewing. Beccah calmly popped boils and zits on her ass in between posting reports on the ever increasing size of her cervix.
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Beccah's blog registered over a million fucking hits the night her scam reached its climax. As a true attention whore Beccah was nearly orgasmic looking at her hit counter and its corresponding ad revenue.. Then, as attention whores always do, Beccah over played her hand. She had made the mistake of greatly overestimating her scam & photoshop skills and underestimated her audience's tolerance for utter bullshit.
Major Fail
Use scrollbar to see the full image
All was going well, a million fundies were in a F5'ing fury, but then Beccah made a fatal mistake - she posted a picture of the miracle baby.
Beccah apparently failed to realize the same baby obsessed fundies reading her blog were also the same kind of women who collect creepy [3]reborn dolls. The fact the doll posed as April Rose was "perfect" looking was also a big fuck up - since the baby should have had major facial deformities and one eye. She could have least put a hat over half its face like Myah Walker did for the sake of authenticity. The many doll-collectors immediately called bullshit and her elaborate blog scam began to crumble. She heatedly tried to correct her blunder by posting more pictures, with real infants, but it only made things worse since she was dumb enough to post a photos of several obviously different babies mixed in with doll pictures. If there is one thing fundie women know, its babies, and this last attempt at April Rose photos was a major fail
The fundies started their full-frontal attack on Beccah, while some scratched their heads in confusion and continued to defend this pathetic nut job. Beccah brought in her sock-puppet Baby-Daddy to try and defuse the fucking huge mess she had made.
—Her sock-puppet boyfriend because no one would willingly fuck this crazy cunt |
This only led to more howls of scam and indignation from the Jesus fangirls. Blogs were popping up left and right exposing Beccah and offering proof of all her lies. She tried her hardest but the jig was finally up, and like all retarded drama-whores Beccah proceeded to try and Delete Fucking Everything.
Of course, this did absolutely no good because everything had been saved and cached. However, using the internet equivalent of the nuclear option managed to convince the last of her deluded defenders that she truly was a psycho scam-whore.
Internet Detectives to the Rescue
Being a dumb cunt Beccah had left enough clues around the internet that even fundie housewives were able to figure out who she really was. The fact the image files she uploaded to her blog had her real name in the filename made this all rather easy. Soon all kinds of dirt was being dug up on this hoebag and her pathetic, lie filled life. It didn't take long for even major news outlets to jump on this story. The Chicago Tribune published a front page story about her - that was filled with lies and inaccuracies because the dumb ass reporter actually trusted the word of a compulsive liar. This only made the fundie goon squad angrier and soon they were making sure all news outlets got the real story - and the story went nationwide because obviously a psycho and her fake monster fetus is important stuff. Beccah has been using sock-puppets to try and defend herself on about every website that has published a story about her sorry, fat ass.
A Big Fat Lie Filled Apology
Since the internet was howling for blood, Beccah decided to try and defuse the situation by publishing a "Apology" letter online. Redacted for your protection
— LOL More LIES |
—Beccah lashing out at others for "lying" and spreading misinformation online, oh the delicious irony |
Beccah proceed to tell more whoppers denying she received money & gifts from the blog, denying she has dozens of sock-puppets, and that she has been reading about & defending herself online 24/7 since her scam was exposed. She whined on and on about "past traumas" that are nothing more than older lies told to lots more gullible people. Even more hilarious for the first two days her apology was posted it was signed "April's Mom."
Beccah hoped that if she just used enough Christianize with a big helping of "pity me" that the storm would blow over. She tried to remind her readers of what a big, fat, Christian she "really is" to try and make them feel guilty for her scamming them. After all she's had traumas. But, since the apology wasn't really an apology and was just more excuses and lies the fundies (and others) continued on their mission to expose the psycho bitch and her scamming ways. Hopefully lots more "public hate-type blogs" dedicated to Beccah will be springing up like April flowers all over the internet.
Beccah's Been a Fucking Psycho Scammer for a Long Ass Time
Since Beccah is a crazy, filthy, attention-seeking whore it wasn't hard to find evidence of her past batshit behavior and scams. A superb internet detective has collected her greatest hits on a blog[4] and they include:
- Convinced several couples that she was pregnant and they were going to adopt her "baby". She proceeded to milk them for "living expenses" and gifts until the 9 month mark neared then she pulled a Houdini. She apparently trolls adoption message boards for victims.
- Stole from numerous places stupid enough to hire her.
- Told everyone at her college that her (pretend) boyfriend had been killed in a horrible accident and held fundraisers in his honor and told others there was going to be a scholarship in his name.
- Stole the identity of a girl she went to college with to post her "art gallery" online. So when the April Rose scam came down this innocent women was bombarded with phone calls and angry messages from people thinking she was really "B."
- Makes mysterious references to a "past trauma" to all her friends - which is just another lie. It's a lie that has been told so often, to so many (usually swearing them to secret about this "shattering event") that a lot of people actually believe its true. (PROTIP: Never believe one word that comes out of a compulsive liar's mouth.)
- Lies to anyone she meets about her poisonous womb and numerous "miscarriages" hoping this will some how excuse her psychotic behavior. While its obvious she lies about her miscarriages we would hope any future babies dwelling in her poisonous womb would have enough common sense to GTFO immediately upon realizing this crazy bitch is their mother. Going down the toilet to meet last night's burrito is preferable to having this cunt as your mother.
- When a bible study leader at her college tried to confront Beccah about her many lies and her fake dead baby she turned around and accused him of sexual assault the next day. Luckily her reputation was so soiled at that point no one believed anything coming out of her mouth anymore.
- Beccah was caught plagiarizing an art piece in college. When confronted by the professor with the theft she claimed she had recently been sexually assaulted and was therefore unable to concentrate on the project. When pressed to file charges and prove her claim she balked, the Professor realized she was just bullshitting and FAILED her ass for stealing others' work.
- Beccah, like many attention whores, loves to make fake rape allegations. When push comes to shove, like when she is asked to file a police report, she reverts to the miscarriage bullshit to distract. At that point everyone realizes they are just dealing with a psycho cunt and the matter is dropped.
- Apparently Beccah's nuclear option lie, combining all her greatest hits, is that she was raped, knocked up, and lost the baby. This has been her "get out of jail free" card when her numerous lies and schemes eventually explode in her face - to be used only when the shit hits the fan in a major way. For some reason, people actually buy this bullshit so she's continued to allude to this "past trauma" in hopes it will work its magic again. Come on, one more time for momma!
How do you know when Beccah is lying? Her lips are moving.
More scams and lies are being uncovered everyday because it seems anyone who has ever met this crazy bitch has either been sucked into one of her scams or had to listen to her compulsive lies. No one was shocked to find the "college" she attended was just some fake-ass Christian college whose only requirement for a degree is believing in Jesus. She fancies herself a real artist, not just a scam-artist, and has a website devoted to her awful, atrocious art - which is almost as bad as her writing. Beccah also has a huge ass chin like Jay Leno, and a big flabby ass.
She continues to live at home with her mommy and daddy and writes about her pathetic lying psycho fat-ass online all day long. (Hint to Beccah: Get a life and a job you skanky psycho cunt!)
PRO TIP: Because nobody believes anything she says, you can rape her and nobody will believe her when she bawwws about it.
See Also
External Links
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Beccah Beushausen is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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Beccah Beushausen is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article July 1, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Michael Jackson |
Beccah Beushausen | Succeeded by Billy Mays Day |