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MMA: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Mma fan.gif|thumb|Typical MMA fan]] | [[Image:Mma fan.gif|thumb|Typical MMA fan]] | ||
[[File:Soniamdissapointreal.gif|thumb|Brock Lesnar]] | [[File:Soniamdissapointreal.gif|thumb|Brock Lesnar]] | ||
'''Mixed Martial Arts''' aka '''MMA''' is a [[fetish|sport]] in which competitors try to [[rape|force submission]] or [[Mike Tyson|knock out]] their opponent. It was originally invented so big bar brawlers could beat the shit out of karate kid nerds who think [[unrealistic expectations|45 minutes a week of calisthenics from their fat, ponytail-wearing sensei in a mall will give them uber ninja skillz]]. Fortunately rules have been added to increase the amount of hugging and testicles to the face, since the only people who watch are closet [[homosexual|footfags]]. The typical MMA fighter wanted to be a professional football player but wasn't good enough so used his high school wrestling background and a bunch of steroids to become a "fighter." | '''Mixed Martial Arts''' aka '''MMA''' is a redneck [[fetish|sport]] in which competitors try to [[rape|force submission]] or [[Mike Tyson|knock out]] their opponent. It was originally invented so big bar brawlers could beat the shit out of karate kid nerds who think [[unrealistic expectations|45 minutes a week of calisthenics from their fat, ponytail-wearing sensei in a mall will give them uber ninja skillz]]. Fortunately rules have been added to increase the amount of hugging and testicles to the face, since the only people who watch are closet [[homosexual|footfags]]. The typical MMA fighter wanted to be a professional football player but wasn't good enough so used his high school wrestling background and a bunch of steroids to become a "fighter." | ||
==UFC== | ==UFC== | ||
''Ugly Fags Cuddling,'' or ''UFC'', is the biggest and best MMA organization in the world. The UFC has adopted rules which maximize the man-love and has the best dry-humpers in the world, like Jon Fitch and | ''Ugly Fags Cuddling,'' or ''UFC'', is the biggest and best MMA organization in the world. The UFC has adopted rules which maximize the man-love and has the best dry-humpers in the world, like Jon Fitch and Gay Maynard. Fighters in the UFC are so shitty that a former pro wrestler who couldn't make it in the NFL became their heavyweight champion in only four fights. [[John McCain]] trolled them by [[b&|banning]] them from 36 states and getting their [[old media|TV]] deal yanked. | ||
==Pride FC== | ==Pride FC== | ||
Revision as of 17:01, 24 October 2012
Mixed Martial Arts aka MMA is a redneck sport in which competitors try to force submission or knock out their opponent. It was originally invented so big bar brawlers could beat the shit out of karate kid nerds who think 45 minutes a week of calisthenics from their fat, ponytail-wearing sensei in a mall will give them uber ninja skillz. Fortunately rules have been added to increase the amount of hugging and testicles to the face, since the only people who watch are closet footfags. The typical MMA fighter wanted to be a professional football player but wasn't good enough so used his high school wrestling background and a bunch of steroids to become a "fighter."
UFC
Ugly Fags Cuddling, or UFC, is the biggest and best MMA organization in the world. The UFC has adopted rules which maximize the man-love and has the best dry-humpers in the world, like Jon Fitch and Gay Maynard. Fighters in the UFC are so shitty that a former pro wrestler who couldn't make it in the NFL became their heavyweight champion in only four fights. John McCain trolled them by banning them from 36 states and getting their TV deal yanked.
Pride FC
Pride was an organization that tried to find the best fighter in the world, and (obviously) to promote gay pride in Japan. Once it was a beacon of awesome for allowing head stomping on the ground, a 10 minute championship round, and a look the other way regarding drug use. It was bought by the UFC and disbanded because their rules discouraged hugging and teabagging by allowing knees to the head and face-stomps.
Gallery of No Homo
Previous Video | Next Video
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The athleticism required to be a fighter is low. Even double rainbow guy can do it -
Shoes are optional in the UFC, clothes are not
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In Pride removing the underpants was a way to win
TL;DR?
See Also
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