VolunteersForUkraine: Difference between revisions

The Bombing of the Volunteers
	Part of 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine
	; Yavoriv military base, host to the Reddit Volunteers, post-bombing.
Date	March 13, 2022
Location	Yavoriv, Ukraine and Starichi, Ukraine
Result	Epic russian win, Reddit Foreign Legion retired, a lot of upvotes and Reddit Gold has been awarded, lulz, Reddit survivors flee to Poland.
Belligerents
Russia ;	Ukraine ; Reddit
Commanders and leaders
Vladimir Putin ;	Vladimir Zelensky ✡ ; u/spindokto
Units involved
30 missiles ;	1000 volunteers
Casualties and losses
30 missiles ;	100+ deaths ; a handful of casualties

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Revision as of 19:05, 20 March 2022

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BREAKING NEWS!!
The larper legion has been btfo by Kalibr missiles and now they're bravely running away to Poland

LE REDDIT ARMY HAS ARRIVED!!!

While the Russo-Ukrainian conflict drags on with thousands being shot, maimed, burnt and torn to shreds by missiles and drones, the estrogenic soyboys in the west are in the comfort of their homes rewatching their favorite marvel movie for the millionth time while munching on Takis and downing it with soylent. But then, some of them thought it would be an epic and wholesome idea to haul their asses to a country they've never heard of before to push the evil Nazi dictator ~~Hitler~~ Putin and his Army of Darkness back. For fighting for justice and protecting the innocent is a hero's job! JUST LIKE MY MARVEL MOVIEZ SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Dilating to the thought of living their fantasy of being the heroes of a realistic version of their favorite movie adaptation of a young adults novel, the trannies of reddit launched a new subreddit recruiting 'tards from all over the privileged West to aid in the war effort. After all, can you imagine the sweet, sweet dopamine-rush one would get from all the positive karma and Reddit gold you're going to farm? Who in the hecking world can resist?! For those that aren't brave enough to risk their lives for clout however, they have the typical slacktivist routes to exploit; any contribution no matter how small is meaningful. Spetznaz troops would be really demoralized when see they're up against the combined forces of Harry Potter, Spider-Man, Pikachu, Gandalf and Marvel Avengers.

Thanks Ukraine - you can keep them, we don't want them back.

Just like mah Vidya Gaymz

Holy shit! Russia and a country I never heard of are engaged in a meatgrinder of a battle?! Time to grab some popcorn and watch those Highscores

As always, the Third World's problems are the First World's entertainment. Denizens of the internetz are now resting on their cozy recliners drinking beer and cheering on poor Slavic conscripts being blown up in a serious war like it's a football match between Norf FC and Souf FC. But who fucking cares about some low IQ slavs? Warzones are your coliseums, social media is your comfy auditorium seat and the third worlder pigs are your gladiators, your majesty! So sit back, relax and enjoy the bloodbath.

Just like mah Marvel Heroes

Since the soft and sheltered Redditors have never seen a bloody conflict in their pathetic and worthless lives, their only window to anything remotely close to that are their superficial and substance-less action capeshit movies that mass-produced on Hollywood's assembly line. Always the same crappy annual "good guys fight the bad guys and win" movie shilled out ad nauseum. Their obsession with Superheroes leads the way of them glorifying anything that was committed against the Russian Army, from as little as farting in the general direction of invading Ruskies to The Legendary Pilot nicknamed "The Ghost of Kiev" who allegedly shot down 6 Russian MIGs. Whether those romanticized tales are reality or a fabrication of a psyops, Redditors give zero fucks (just about the amount of fucks they give their wives, that's tyrone's job after all). If it sounds like a marvel movie, it will be retweeted, shared and updooted.

Captain Ukraine
Ghost of Kiev
Same Shit, Different Deity

Giving free intel to Russia for the updoots

It's one thing with having retards in an active warzone, but it's a whole different beast having retards in an active battlefield with phones and access to social media. Dipshit Pigbrained Ukrainian soldiers thought it was a good idea to document their arduous struggles against the ebul ruskies by posting selfies on social media of them bunkering up in a school thus revealing their whereabouts to the enemies and getting themselves shelled to oblivion. Normally, bombing schools is considered a warcrime but the Pig-ranies shot themselves in the foot by showing that it's a soldiers' hideout and no longer a civilian building. Fantastic Job, Vlad. You deserve a medal. Apparently no one in recent history has heard of the phrase "loose lips sink ships". Hope the Reddit Gold was worth it.

#StandWithUkraine

Are you too much of a coward to take arms and join the fight in Ukraine? Do you want to feel like you did something of substance but don't actually want to sit on the firing line? Then fear not! You can always help the poor and war-torn ookers from the comfort of your own home! Just follow these simple instructions and you too can engage in low-effort, low-energy, fully government sanctioned agitprop.

Call Putin mean names on the internetz
Call Putin "Literally Hitler"
Repost the same astroturfed image of Putin photoshopped into a monkey
Join the Hashtag "#StandWithUkraine" even though you never heard of a "Ukraine" before and can't even point to it on a map.
Paint a Ukrainian flag your face/ fingernails/ penis/ nu-vag with the caption "Slava Ukraini", despite it being a Pro-Nazi Ukrainian attempt to mimic the Nazi "Seig Heil" during WWII
Change your profile picture to be blue & yellow. Filters and frames recommended.
Put a Ukrainian flag in your name and bio right next to the pronouns, gay flags, and BLM links
Make up LARP stories about Jewkranian soldiers killing ovar 6 trillion Russian soldiers using only a slingshot and dog poo
Make slide threads on /pol/ and other boards on 4chan
Grift off "the cause" (whatever that even means) and sell hoodies, bottles of OoogaBoogakranian piss, etc

The Bombing of the Volunteers

After receiving surprise buttsecks from Russian missiles, the surviving members of the Reddit Regiment realized that war against Russia wasn't some Battlefield or ARMA 3 match and fled to Poland. Even volunteers with IRL military experience realized that fighting a nuclear-armed global power without support was nothing like fighting (and somehow still losing to) poorly armed/trained sand niggers. Since this means no more dead Redditors, the most one can hope for is that their consoomerist faggotry was bombed outta them and replaced with a healthy fear of God.

Gallery

Modern-day Superheroes About missing Pics

thunderf00t trying to pitch-in
too bad, wojaked
Self-inflicted friendly fire
Tunnel Rat
Worse than COVID-19!
Sniper Magnet

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
+{{potential}}
+{{breakingnews|The larper legion has been btfo by Kalibr missiles and now they're bravely running away to Poland}}
 {{RainbowSlant|LE REDDIT ARMY HAS ARRIVED!!!}}
 [[File:volunteersforukraine soydreams.png|800px|center]]
+[[File:volunteersforukraine pidor.png|thumb|A true [[faggot|пидор]], ready to queer up the battlefield|right]]
-[[File:volunteersforukraine pidor.png|thumb|PROTIP: [[faggot|пидор]] is a great name for a child!|right]]
+While the Russo-Ukrainian conflict drags on with thousands being [[2017 Las Vegas Shooting|shot]], [[Luka Magnotta|maimed]], [[Kill it with fire|burnt]] and torn to shreds by missiles and drones, the [[faggot|estrogenic]] [[soyboy|soyboys]] in the west are in the comfort of their [[basement-dweller|homes]] rewatching their favorite marvel movie for the millionth time while munching on Takis and downing it with soylent. But then, some of them thought it would be an epic and wholesome idea to haul their asses to a country they've never heard of before to push the evil [[Commie|Nazi]] dictator <s>[[Hitler]]</s> [[Putin]] and his Army of Darkness back. For fighting for justice and protecting the innocent is a hero's job! [[Unrealistic expectations|JUST LIKE MY MARVEL MOVIEZ SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]]
-As the Russian army continues to push (although molested) through Ukraine at a relatively slow pace reminiscent of the average EDiot showing his penis down a glass bottle people inevitably start noticing. Among these [[retarded|informed]], [[sick fuck|upstanding]] citizens are those who are not content with the relatively meager support their country provides to Ukraine (the fact that the entire point of not intervening is to not get [[rape|raped]] by nukes went over their heads) and would like to [[Unrealistic expectations|be a hero while saving the poor ukrainians from evil Putler]]. While this kind of foreign aid would be welcome and genuinely helpful if it came from well trained soldiers ([[Rich|with their own equipment]]) prepared to wage relatively hopeless war against overwhelming odds it's no surprise that the ones actually "answering this call" are none other than the bottom rung of society itself - terminally online redditors.
+Dilating to the thought of living their fantasy of being the heroes of a realistic version of their favorite movie adaptation of a [[The Hunger Games|young adults novel]], the [[tranny|trannies]] of [[reddit]] launched a new subreddit recruiting 'tards from all over the privileged West to aid in the war effort. After all, can you imagine the sweet, sweet dopamine-rush one would get from all the positive karma and Reddit gold you're going to farm? [[addiction|Who in the hecking world can resist?!]] For those that aren't [[retarded|brave]] enough to risk their lives for clout however, they have the typical [[slacktivist]] routes to exploit; any contribution no matter how small is meaningful. Spetznaz troops would be really demoralized when see they're up against the combined forces of [[Harry Potter]], [[60%27s_Spider-Man|Spider-Man]], [[Sonichu|Pikachu]], [[Lord of the Rings|Gandalf]] and [[comic|Marvel Avengers]].
-The motivation behind this [[Slacktivism|movement]] is pretty much the same as with the likes of [[Kony2012]] - the premise is so [[Hollywood|black-and-white]] for these [[Losers|civillian westerners]] that the thought of being a hero by helping the Ukrainians last a second longer is irresistible to those [[Attention whore|as starved of attention as the average redditor]]. It comes as no surprise then that most if not all are hillariously [[Fat|out of shape]], [[Tsimfuckis|chronically ill or deformed]], [[Crybaby|psychologically unstable]] and completely unwilling to be the expendable and low maintenance ATGM operator/truck driver/whatever other boring logistics job there is that the Ukrainian army actually needs instead of being a "[[K/|low drag high speed oper8or]]."
+Thanks [[Ukraine]] - you can [[kill|keep]] them, we don't want them back.
-It should come off as no surprise that the meeting and organising place for these people would end up being [[Reddit]], more specifically the '''VolunteersForUkraine''' subreddit. This echo chamber of constant gung ho war romanticism (and also a handy way for the reddit admins to filter out the most retarded redditors by [[Win|banning everyone who joined]]) is already 43 thousand retards strong and growing - however do note that the amount of people wanting to actually fight [[Pussy|decreased significantly]] after the larper legion's first encounter with the [[Pwn|3M-54 Kalibr cruise missile]]. As the average redditor would say however - correlation does not imply causation, so it is entirely plausible that the reduction in new recruits is a pure coincidence and not the fact that [[Pamperchu|pampered]], privileged [[Fact|westerners are cowards.]]
+__TOC__
-Either way the fact that mouth-breathing neckbeards weened off on Marvel movies are willingly throwing themselves (now less so) into the meatgrinder for an already lost war is an epic act of natural selection and will surely further the human race - we therefore encourage anyone who considered "helping" Ukraine in this way before or after reading this article to proceed with their idea. Better yet - once the war ends, feel free to stay. It is after all how the old saying goes: "better [[Ukraine|them]] than us."
+==Just like mah Vidya Gaymz==
+Holy shit! Russia and a country I never heard of are engaged in a meatgrinder of a battle?! Time to grab some popcorn and watch those [[highscore|Highscores]]</br>
+As always, the Third World's problems are the First World's entertainment. Denizens of the [[internetz]] are now resting on their cozy recliners drinking beer and cheering on poor Slavic conscripts being blown up in a [[The Internet is serious business|serious war]] like it's a football match between Norf FC and Souf FC. [[nobody cares|But who fucking cares about some low IQ slavs?]] Warzones are your coliseums, social media is your comfy auditorium seat and the third worlder pigs are your gladiators, your majesty! [[sick fuck|So sit back, relax and enjoy the bloodbath.]]
+[[File:volunteersforukraine russia losses.jpg|thumb|[[Call of Duty|"I'm getting all them killstreaks dude!"]]|center]]</br>
+[[File:volunteersforukraine ukraine losses.png|thumb|[[fail|NOOOOOOO! MY K/D!!!!]]|center]]
+==Just like mah Marvel Heroes==
-==Hotbed of pro-Ukie sperging==
+Since the [[Pussy|soft and sheltered]] Redditors have never seen a bloody conflict in their [[You|pathetic and worthless]] lives, their only window to anything remotely close to that are their superficial and substance-less action capeshit movies that mass-produced on Hollywood's assembly line. Always the same crappy annual "good guys fight the bad guys and win" movie shilled out ad nauseum.
+Their obsession with Superheroes leads the way of them glorifying anything that was committed against the Russian Army, from as little as farting in the general direction of invading Ruskies to The Legendary Pilot nicknamed [[Ace Combat|"The Ghost of Kiev"]] who allegedly shot down 6 Russian MIGs.
-As a community based around supporting the "current thing" it is no wonder that VolunteersForUkraine is actually a massive [[Schizo|astroturf psyop]] conducted by none other than the [[USA]]. Together with [[K/|/k/]] and [[NonCredibleDefense]] it forms the trifecta of cancerous ukrainian military jackoff zones - expect any and all ukrainian [[Fail|"victories"]] to be updooted to high hell while the russian ones are downdooted and shunned. VolunteersForUkraine also loves to spread propaganda manufactured by ukraine, such as the [[Lie|"ghost of kiev"]], [[USI|horribly inflated russian casualty numbers]] and the correspondingly downplayed ukrainian losses. You should also expect everything to be redditified - everything and anything will be (literally) turned into [[Xenu|modern "deities"]] for the [[Lie|"atheist"]] redditors and otherwise glorified superhero marvel style.
+Whether those romanticized tales are reality or a fabrication of a [[psyops]], Redditors give zero fucks ([[cuck|just about the amount of fucks they give their wives]], that's [[nigger|tyrone's]] job after all). If it sounds like a marvel movie, it will be retweeted, shared and updooted.
 <gallery>
-File:volunteersforukraine russia losses.jpg|Divide by four and still get a propaganda number
-File:volunteersforukraine ukraine losses.png|Multiply by two and get a conservative estimate of hohol losses
 File:volunteersforukraine Captain Ukraine.jpg|Captain Ukraine
 File:volunteersforukraine ghost of keiv.jpg|Ghost of Kiev
-File:volunteersforukraine saint raytheon.png|Proof that the supposed atheism of redditors is about as real as the ghost of kiev
+File:volunteersforukraine saint raytheon.png|Same Shit, Different Deity
 </gallery>
-==[[Star Wars|Russia strikes back]]==
+==Giving free intel to Russia for the updoots==
+[[File:volunteersforukraine 5.jpg|thumb|Well done, Dmitry. You dumbfuck]]
+It's one thing with having retards in an active warzone, but it's a whole different beast having retards in an active battlefield with phones and access to social media. Dipshit Pigbrained [[Jews|Ukrainian soldiers]] thought it was a good idea to document their [[buttsex|arduous struggles against the ebul ruskies]] by posting selfies on social media of them bunkering up in a school thus revealing their whereabouts to the enemies and getting themselves shelled to oblivion. Normally, [[Columbine|bombing schools]] is considered a [[gay|warcrime]] but the Pig-ranies shot themselves in the foot by showing that it's a soldiers' hideout and no longer a civilian building. Fantastic Job, Vlad. You deserve [[gulag|a medal]]. Apparently no one in recent history has heard of the phrase "loose lips sink ships". Hope the Reddit Gold was worth it.
+[[File:Redditmoment.mp4|center]]
+==#[[Slacktivism|StandWithUkraine]]==
+Are you too much of a [[fag|coward]] to take arms and join the fight in [[Ukraine]]? Do you want to feel like you did something of substance [[slacktivism|but don't actually want to sit on the firing line]]? Then fear not! You can always help the poor and war-torn [[Ukraine|ookers]] from the comfort of your own home! Just follow these simple instructions and you too can engage in low-effort, low-energy, fully government sanctioned [[propaganda|agitprop]].
+* Call [[Putin]] mean names on the internetz
+* Call [[Putin]] [[Hitler|"Literally Hitler"]]
+* Repost the same astroturfed image of [[Forced meme|Putin photoshopped into a monkey]]
+* Join the Hashtag "#StandWithUkraine" even though you never heard of a "Ukraine" before and can't even point to it on a map.
+* Paint a Ukrainian flag your face/ fingernails/ [[penis]]/ nu-vag with the caption "Slava Ukraini", [[Irony|despite it being a Pro-Nazi Ukrainian attempt to mimic the Nazi "Seig Heil" during WWII]]
+* Change your profile picture to be blue & yellow. Filters and frames recommended.
+* Put a Ukrainian flag in your name and bio right next to the pronouns, gay flags, and BLM links
+* Make up LARP stories about Jewkranian soldiers killing [[OVER 9000|ovar 6 trillion]] Russian soldiers using only a slingshot and dog poo
+* Make slide threads on /pol/ and other boards on 4chan
+* Grift off "the cause" (whatever that even means) and sell hoodies, bottles of OoogaBoogakranian piss, etc
+==The Bombing of the Volunteers==
 <div style="border:1px solid; float:right; clear:right; margin-bottom:0.5em; margin-left:1em; padding: 2px;">
 {{Infobox military conflict
@@ Line 50: / Line 73: @@
 }}</div>
+{{clear}}
-{{rainbow|REALITY CHECK}}
+[https://twitter.com/WarsontheBrink/status/1503039808821772296 After receiving surprise buttsecks from Russian missiles], [https://twitter.com/MapsUkraine/status/1503053336483876867 the surviving members of the Reddit Regiment realized that war against Russia wasn't some Battlefield or ARMA 3 match and fled to Poland]. [https://mobile.twitter.com/KaczynskiOhana/status/1503737123261800452 Even volunteers with IRL military experience realized that fighting a nuclear-armed global power without support was nothing like fighting (and somehow still losing to) poorly armed/trained sand niggers]. Since this means no more dead Redditors, the most one can hope for is that their consoomerist faggotry was bombed outta them and replaced with a healthy fear of God.
-This was the <s>straw that broke the camel's back</s> the first actual casualty sustained by the larpers. Naturally every single one of them [[Lol|including vets]] [[GTFO|fled to poland]] and never came back. It seems that fighting an actual war instead of a paid vacation with some COIN duties (nevermind lol you could always call an airstrike from one of the obese drone operators) is radically different and in an actual war [[Noone cares|nobody fucking cares]] about airlifting every single obese cripple that managed to get stuck behind enemy lines/took a bullet and is now bleeding out, and in actual war most commanders treat you as an expendable (though not disposable) resource.
-(PROTIP: this is the difference between COIN wargames that the US likes to play and actual wars)
 <gallery>
-File:DedVols.jpg|It's not all gung ho semper fidelis when the enemy isn't child soldiers
+File:DedVols.jpg
-File:DedVols2.jpg|Not a surprise
+File:DedVols2.jpg
-File:Larpers_btfo_ukraine.png|Pretty much what happened
+File:Larpers_btfo_ukraine.png
-File:The Reddit Foreign Legion.png|We did it reddit
+File:The Reddit Foreign Legion.png
 </gallery>
-*https://twitter.com/WarsontheBrink/status/1503039808821772296
-*https://twitter.com/MapsUkraine/status/1503053336483876867
-*https://mobile.twitter.com/KaczynskiOhana/status/1503737123261800452
 ==Gallery==
@@ Line 75: / Line 89: @@
 File:volunteersforukraine1.jpg|Self-inflicted [[An Hero|friendly fire]]
 File:Volunteersforukraine2.jpg|Tunnel Rat
-File:volunteersforukraine white women.jpg|[[Pwn|Domestic abuse]]
+File:volunteersforukraine white women.jpg
 File:volunteersforukraine hypocrisy.png|Worse than [[COVID-19]]!
 File:volunteersforukraine 6.jpg|Sniper Magnet
+File:volunteersforukraine4.jpg
+File:standwithukraine in a nutshell.png
+File:volunteersforukraine lesbians.jpg
 </gallery>|<gallery>
-File:volunteersforukraine4.jpg|Calling VFU users average IQ is a compliment
+File:volunteersforukraine 8.png
-File:standwithukraine in a nutshell.png|[[Retards|/pol/]]'s take on the situation
+File:volunteersforukraine choose your fighter.png
-File:volunteersforukraine lesbians.jpg>|The war is over now
+File:Armchair cannon fodder.png
-File:volunteersforukraine 8.png|Current thing
-File:volunteersforukraine choose your fighter.png|Take notes CIA!
-File:Armchair cannon fodder.png|[[Unrealistic expectations]]
 </gallery>|}}

Featured article March 8 and 9, 2022
Preceded by WWIII	VolunteersForUkraine	Succeeded by McDonald's

VolunteersForUkraine: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 19:05, 20 March 2022

Contents

Just like mah Vidya Gaymz

Just like mah Marvel Heroes

Giving free intel to Russia for the updoots

#StandWithUkraine

The Bombing of the Volunteers

Gallery

See Also

Navigation menu

VolunteersForUkraine: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 19:05, 20 March 2022

Just like mah Vidya Gaymz

Just like mah Marvel Heroes

Giving free intel to Russia for the updoots

#StandWithUkraine

The Bombing of the Volunteers

Gallery

See Also

Navigation menu

Search