Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Crossfire: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>Uberfukken
No edit summary
imported>Andrés
THAT'S NOT A FUCKING REASON FOR DELETION
Line 1: Line 1:
{{shit|moar pictures}}
{{pixplz}}
{{pixplz}}
{{moar|pictures}}
{{moar|pictures}}

Revision as of 02:35, 8 September 2013

MOAR
Add pixplzkthnx to Crossfire
Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.
Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix.
What? This article needs moar pictures.
You can help by adding moar pictures.

This article is about the online game Crossfire. For the gay chat app, see xfire.

Crossfire is an online free-to-play massive shooter game made in some Korean homebrew shack made by incapable 16-year-old's for noob 16-year-olds. The framerates are ridiculously low and CS Source and graphics are on par with the latest in computer gaming, Counter-Strike 1.6! Since it is free anyone can play it because half of the world is too poor to actually BUY a decent game. This game over run by Brazilians and Turks that have shitty attitudes, computers, internet connections and hacks.

Noobs Everywhere

In Crossfire, practically all players are either noobs, fair play noobs (so-called forumers), children or girl gamers posting on the forums in all pink, and finally internet retarded Brazilians. There are many reasons for becoming noob in this game. Excerpt of possible reasons for being noob:

  • lucker
  • sprayer
  • croucher
  • bullet-dodger
  • backside-killer
  • lowpinger
  • highpinger
  • lagger
  • hacker
  • waller
  • chammer
  • aimbotter
  • wallhacker
  • reloadkill
  • textkill
  • lolkill
  • typing
  • afk
  • phonekill
  • toiletkill
  • food
  • eating
  • omg-headshot
  • rifler-in-sniper-match
  • scar-light-noob
  • kriss-noob
  • ak-noob
  • m12-noob
  • m60-noob
  • awm-noob
  • dragunov-noob
  • pistol-noob
  • grenade-noob
  • smoke-noob
  • flash-noob
  • newbie
  • noob
  • nub
  • nab
  • "Noop", the brazillian term for noob since they apparently don't have the B-key on their keyboards
  • ahole
  • generic-fck-you-all

All of these things can make you NOOB. So .. don't forget to liberally spread these words in spam fashion, especially in the game rooms... Bonus points if it's full of Brazilians.

Fair Play

Playing fair in this shitty game is as rare as someone taking a purple shit that smells like flowers. So this is how you can help to play fair with those shitty laggy ass Brazilians HACK.

Nice Things to Know

  • The forums are moderated by a mutant noob guy named Saladin.
  • Don't forget to join a clan with an offensive name, like all Brazilian clans to date.
  • You can circument the - again, CHEAP - swear words filter by putting dots into your beloved word.
  • Don't forget to call people "hack", "kick" or "reported" when they make double kills or, even worse, TRIPLE kills.
  • You can bind spam messages onto the F5, F6, F7 and F8 keys under Options, tab "Community". Ironic, isn't it?
  • Everyone speaks Brazilian or Turkish.
  • All the gun are over priced AS FUCK!
  • Every game mode is ass with a capital A
  • Graphics are comparable to CounterSrike1.6 on low and medium. Whereas High is more "Condition Zero", that awkward game between CS1.6 and CS:S
  • Most players are about 12 to 15 (giggity), but pretend to be much older and have unrealistic background stories relatable to most Anime's
  • HACKERS LEGITIMATE NOOBS ARE EVERY WHERE, SO JOIN THE MOVEMENT!!!
  • there are always useless gun updates that add weapons that 95% of the community thinks are shitty

Offensive Things to Say

  • kick XY
  • hack, hek, hak, haker
  • XY reported
  • XY gay farmer noob
  • learn to play
  • use a real gun
  • off that noob gun
  • AFF
  • FDP
  • lets get on 1v1 ESL, you up to it noob?
  • PORRA
  • LIXO
  • you have no life! (works well against high leveled players)
  • call them gay (gay isn't blocked in chat, LOL SMART)
  • NO AIM NO AIM NO AIM
  • go uninstall the game, you F@g
  • any momma joke in the book
  • talk shit about Brazil (always works)

Weapons

SMGs

Uzi

  • The cheapest weapon in the game that isn't a pistol or a 'nade. Also the weakest SMG in the entire game, only good for trolling BR noobs in Alaska EM.

Dual Uzi

  • Most badass gun in the game. Only used by Jew ZP whores.

K1A

  • One of the only decent SMGs that doesn't cost you any of your Jew gold or require that you waste all your time on crates (The other being the M12S). Only used by trolls who wait for your noob ass to reload and then rush and spray you.

P90/P90 Camo

  • The perfect SMG for those who can't aim for shit. It carries 50 bullets (60 for the camo) that do roughly the same damage as a staple gun and has one of the worst recoil patterns ever. Also takes about 10 fucking minutes to reload.

MP5/MP5 ADV

  • Your basic SMG. The ADV is perfect for trolling "Pros".

MP7

  • More expensive then the MP5 and worse in every way possible. Recoil goes berserk after the first 3 bullets. Used by absolutely nobody.

M12s

  • The ultimate trolling gun. Using it will get you kicked out of rooms full of crying 12 year olds who can't handle it's power. Has no recoil, so spray away! Protip: Enter an Echo 8 server room with this gun for ultimate lulz. Used by every BR in the game.

Micro Galil/Galil Scope

  • Shitty SMG with a shit fire rate. 99% of all bronze, silver, and gold crates you get out of Zombie Mode contain a Micro Galil Scope.

Thompson

  • Hold down the fire button for instant PRO status. Only available in the Black Market.

Kriss Super-V

  • M12s for Jews.

PP-19 Bizon

  • See Kriss Super-V

Rifles

M16

  • The rifle you get as a starter for your new account. In other words, terrible.

M16A2

  • Spend $25 and get a gun that is worse than the M4A1! Sounds like a great deal, amirite?

M4A1/M4A1 Silver/M4A1 Custom/M4A1 Patriot/etc.

  • The "Standard" rifle in the game. Used by everyone. The M4 Gold is the worst of them all, but coincidentally it will end up costing you at least $100 to get enough coupons for the damn thing. That is, of course, if you're stupid enough to get it in the first place.

AK-47/AK Scope/AK Silver/AK Gold/etc.

  • Has ridiculously good accuracy and power. Used by "Pros" and noobs who spray and get lucky headshots.

K2

  • Pretty much the same thing as the M4 but with a terrible reload animation. Also the cheapest rifle in the game next to the AK-74.

AK-74

  • Hey, want an AK-47 derivative with less power and accuracy? I didn't think so.

QBZ-95/QBZ-95 Camo

  • Great rifle that nobody ever uses. Perfect for rushing and spraying because it doesn't lose much accuracy while doing so.

G36K

  • Another great rifle nobody ever uses. Has a badass scope.

SG552

  • Looks and sounds like a cheap airsoft gun from Wal-Mart. The zoom scope loses all accuracy after 2 shots.

XM8/XM8 ADV

  • An overpriced as fuck rifle with a scope that has 144P resolution, so you'll be sure to miss all your shots!

Tar21

  • Islamic Rifle with a terrible recoil pattern. Also has a completely useless zoom scope.

AUG A1/AUG A1-C/AUG RD

  • Would be a decent gun if the reload time didn't take 5 minutes.

Scar LIGHT/Scar LIGHT LM/Scar LIGHT RD/ Scar LIGHT gold (Scrub Light)

  • Noobiest rifle in the game. Using this gun will cause "Pros" and oldfags to lose their shit. Banned from tournies (This game actually has tournies, surprising, right?) for being too good, just like the M12s. Often seen used by pretentious AZN noobs with a false sense of godliness, and You.

Scar HEAVY/Scar HEAVY camo

  • Heavier and less accurate than the Scar LIGHT, thus used by nobody. Z8 thought it would be funny to make the Scar HEAVY camo cost roughly $85.

Tantal Wz.88

  • Same thing as the Scar LIGHT except it's recoil goes apeshit after 5 shots.

Winchester/Winchester Scope

  • The fire rate is shit (Semi-auto), the accuracy is shit, the reload speed is BULLSHIT, the power is shit, this gun is shit

M14 EBR/M14 EBR Xmas/ M14 EBR ultimate (Jew) gold

  • OP as all hell rifle only owned by ZP whores and a select few BRs who got lucky on Xmas crates. Only available in the Nigger Market.

Berreta AR-70/Beretta AR-70 RD

  • Basically an AK reskin only available in the black market.

Type89

  • This gun wins the award for shittiest looking weapon. Absolutely nothing special about it except that it is quiet enough that it won't get you kicked out of a ghost mode room for hurting the poor players ears.

M-700

  • The starter sniper rifle. Will get you assraped by everyone else in the sniper-only rooms.

Dragonov

  • Misses almost half the shots because of crap accuracy. Has a tendency to not 1 hit kill like almost every other sniper rifle in the game.

AWM/AWM gold/AWM RD/AWM Camo/AWM LM/etc.

  • The sniper rifle that everyone uses.

SL8

  • Semi-auto sniper rifle that will get you assraped by AWM and DSR users.

PSG-1/PSG-1 RD

  • See above.

MGS90

  • See SL8

DSR-1/DSR-1 Rusty/DSR-1 DC

  • The most overpriced GP gun in the game. It is exactly the same as the AWM except that it costs way more and can stay zoomed in on the target after being fired. Big fucking whoop.

Shotguns

XM1040/XM1040-A

  • Has no accuracy past 10 feet. Only good for rushing and spraying BR noobs in Egypt TD.

Spas-12

  • Bullshit shotty that does roughly the same damage as a super-soaker.

KSG-15

  • One of the only shotguns worth owning. It is the ultimate noob destroyer and 1 hit KOs everyone except ZP whores with armor.

M1216

  • See above

Jackhammer

  • See KSG

Machine Guns

M60

  • You instantly become Rambo with this gun. Used by noobs and by unlucky players who get stuck with it in Crossroads EM.

RPK

  • SPRRRAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Colt M16A3

  • Yet another gun with an absolutely worthless scope. Seriously, there are only a select few guns in the game where the scope is actually beneficial, and most of them are snipers!

MG3/MG3 gold/MG3 LM/MG3 LD

  • Perfect for pissing of Ghost Mode faggots by spraying endlessly, simultaneously killing all the ghosts but also disrupting your own GR teammates by drowning out all the sound in the game with your gun fire.

M249 MINIMI/M249 MINIMI Xmas/M249 MINIMI gold

  • See MG3

Gatling Gun

  • Also good for making GM faggots rage. Takes 3 hours to warm up before it can shoot.

Pistols

M9

  • Cheapest gun in the game, and not surprisingly, the weakest pistol you can buy.

Colt1911

  • Only slightly more powerful then the M9. Completely useless.

P228/P228 Camo

  • Only slightly more powerful then the Colt. Detecting a pattern here?

Mk23 S.

  • The only decent pistol with a large mag that you don't have to fork over the cash for.

Desert Eagle/Desert Eagle camo/Desert Eagle scope/Desert Eagle gold/etc.

  • This is the only pistol that anyone ever uses. srsly

Anaconda/Anaconda ADV/Anaconda RD

  • Western style revolver that is inferior to the DE and sounds like shit.

MATEBA

  • Another revolver.

M66/M66 LD

  • Another revolver.

Ruger Bisley

  • Another fucking revolver. This one is the worst of them all, and you can only get it for 90 days in exchange for a assload of coupons ($$$)

USP

  • This garbage pistol is only available to those who waste their time liking Z8Game$ Facebook page.

Dual Desperado

  • Mini-shotguns that cost way to much for all that they do. If you're in a long range battle with any other pistol, you're fucked. If you and your opponent draw your pistols up at the same time, you're fucked. If you run out of shots and need to reload, you're fucked because it takes 4 squidzillion years to reload.

Mauser M1896/Mauser M1896 Halloween/Mauser M1896 RD

  • Ultimate pwning pistol. Has a surprisingly effective triple-fire option. Only owned by Jews, ZP Whores, and pretentious Asians.

Glock-18/Glock 18 Xmas

  • Basically a P228 with a triple-fire burst option, only it costs more than twice as much. The triple fire option, unlike the Mauser, sucks horse balls.

Melees


  • See Below


Z8Games

Z8Games bought out the original owners of crossfire at some point in history nobody gives a shit about. Z8Games then decided it was time to introduce an asston of ingame items to improve the performance of the Ghosts in ghost mode, all of which are 1-hit weapons that cost IRL money for those people who cant aim for longer then the first try. Some of these weapons include(in relative order of date added):

  • Combat Axe, Combat Axe(holiday here), Combat Axe "Red Dragon"
  • Kris, Kris(holiday here)
  • Kukri, Kukri(holiday here), Kukri "Red Dragon"
  • Katana, Golden Katana
  • Field Shovel, Field Shovel(holiday here)
  • Machete- though it looks absolutely nothing like what you are thinking of now. It looks more like a makeshift hunk of metal from the bottom of a car with some bandages as a handle painted black and sharpened with a grinder using a cutting disk.
  • Brass Knuckles
  • Police Baton
  • Aluminum Bat

There is also an incomprehensibly huge amount of guns added into the game with a few new ones each update. Each costing IRL money in obscene amounts, especially if you want to gamble to try and win a permanent gun covered in sparkles. Even more recently they added yet more ak47's covered in decals, except these ones would make jews rebel in horror of howmuch money grabbing Z8 is trying to pull. The cheapest version costs around $85-$95 and provides insignificant boosts to ingame money/exp earned for all players. The next version is over $100 and provides slightly better boosts, with a glowing red eye on the decal of the gun. Both of them look exactly the same if not for the red eye on the more expensive version.

Game Modes

Here is the list as follows

Search & destroy

In S&D its all about who has the better campers..... seriously its not fun just imagine only two people from each team moving while everyone else waits behind walls hoping for someone to run by. Sometimes hackers join the game and starts going ape shit since there are only 5 rounds its like an endurance round for anyone with legit programs that actually help you become better by pressing a button to aim.

Team Deathmatch

Also known as spray and pray mode is played by almost everyone in crossfire. To give a vivid picture on this just imagine a WHOLE bunch of Autistic people on 10 pounds of sugar with super soakers running around and aiming at everything expect their targets. So if you don't have a bad case of Parkinson like 95% of crossfire, than this gamemode is right for you.

Ghost Mode

In this mode one side is NOT invisible and has guns while the other side IS invisible and can only use knifes.(sounds fair)

Global risk(team with guns): turn your gamma at 100 to make ghosts easier to see when they move. This will make it fun since GR ALWAYS WINS! No. Ever since people figured out an exploit that kept you invisible whilst still being able to move(Bunny hopping) there is the off chance that the ghosts/BL would win, especially if GR is full of brazilians. Not to mention that as soon as the company that owned Crossfire was bought out by "Z8Games" it turned into a total fuckfest of who could spend the most IRL cash to be good at a free-2-play game.

Ghost Team/Black List: Your out of luck... Unless you spend vast quantities of IRL money on ingame items that last 3 months at most. The ghosts emit a VERY heavy breathing sound, but most didn't realize this when ghost mode was first added, and still fucking dont(though mostly Brazilians). At first GR hid in corners shooting in every possible direction in fear of the enemy that at the time almost nobody knew could move while invisible through physics-engine exploits, unless they crouch-walked at about 1meter every 10 seconds. Then they realized you can jump backwards and gain momentum from literally nowhere, and keep timing/spamming the jump key so you can jump again without legitimately touching the ground(and therefore moving) thanks to the bad physics engine. The only way to counter this is by having any kind of sound system that gives directional output so you can track the breathing of the enemies from 10-15meters away.

NOTE: if a ghost calls you a hacker just keep killing him, he cant do shit about it unless someone of the same Brazilian ethnicity white-knights for him and tries to vote-kick you, of which usually fails because some people are so bad they WANT supposed h4ckers on their teams so they can win. Another side-effect is him leaving the game, joining back in on your team, and then trying to vote-kick you himself of which everyone lulz at his diehard failure.


Zombie Mode

Zombies start out weak as all hell, and rapidly progress into beings that can run faster then you can. They start to take an entire rifle magazine to even hurt, and upwards of 10 shots to the head to kill. Not to mention the terrible AI/Game Engine has them frequently running in random directions and then b-lining it to you. Then the suicide bombers decide to show up and turn everything in a 7-8Meter radius into a corpse upon a countdown of him dying. The best/worst parts of zombie mode is the PLAYERS. Most of the time it is a room full of brazilians vying for that 1 reward they cant get, whereas the other problem with players is their actual skill level/survivability). The crates for getting different intervoles of random reward items is ungraphically depicted:

  • Earn reward crates on the amount of points you get ingame for damage(X1 if alone, X5 in with someone, X10 with 2 other people, X20 with 3 other people)
  • 50000 = 1 Bronze
  • 100000 = 2 Bronze
  • 140000 = 1 Silver
  • 250000 = 2 Silver
  • 500000 = 1 Gold
  • 700000 = 1 Crystal/Red Crystal
  • Beating one of the bosses 5 times gets you a boss crate of which contains the Crystal-Crates items, but it has new items that do absolutely nothing except make your character look dumbfuckled and take up space for better items/rewards
  • All of these reward crates contain items to both help you next time you play ZM(healing) and give you aesthetic changes or even guns that cost IRL money/cant be obtained elsewhere/gives you shit guns nobody uses.


Brazilians, Brazilians Everywhere...

Most don't speak english, but whoa to person who finds the ever elusive english speaking retard who's angry because you killed him a few times and refuses to accept that you are a better player, or that you have an advantage in gameplay experience/common sense.

The non-english Brazilians are more "Lulz I bet he's mad bro" because nobody but himself and that other guy you killed knows what he is saying.

The english speakers will constantly proclaim h4x because your reaction time is amazing compared to his morbidly-obese grubby-grabbers. Especially during ghost mode will they proclaim wallh4x because you can "see" the invisible enemy and shoot them without them "moving", lest they do not know of the ghosts HEAVY breathing that can be used to find them with dollar store earphones.

Both bitch and moan about you being (probably) better then them, and if you aren't they will proceed to try and rub it in your face, until you see that that other guy on your team is 40-0 off killing HIM alone.

Especially in fucking ghost mode. It's all people bitch about is how you killed them or what "circumstances" you killed them under. Examples:

  • Type Kill
  • BUT I HITS YOU FIRST
  • Lucky I was (doing something completely irrelevant) and/or running
  • I wasn't trying
  • This isn't even, MY FINAL FORM!
  • Camper
  • Sprayer(Minigunning a room apart is a fine example of trolling the ghosts right out of ghostmode altogether)
  • ShottyFag(because it's unfair using a close range weapon against someone trying to get close to you)
  • I let you kill me/I gave up
  • People who use sound to find ghosts: Damn sprayers, cant hear a thing.
  • 1Hitting nub
  • Generic Moonspeak or Mexican Words
  • Rushnub


How to troll ingame

  1. Ghost Mode
    1. Get a loudass gun, you can try weapons out on a shooting range before obtaining them for use ingame. Find the loudest gun you can and buy it. Bonus points if its fully automatic/high ammo count/lots a dakka/just buy a fucking machinegun.
    2. Go into a ghost mode game and see if there is anyone with what looks to be a high rank playing on the Global Risk team, if there is get on their team if not already and get into the game.
    3. Find them, follow them around, and shoot aimlessly just for the fuck of it.
    4. They will get REALLY pissed because chances are a ghost will seize the opportunity to pop up and manage to put an axe through your torso and into their head.
    5. Even moar RAEG as they are probably trying to votekick you the second they die.
  1. Any Game mode(except ZM)
    1. Camp
  1. Zombie Mode
    1. Block people alot and make them take alot of damage, especially fighting the guys over 10feet tall with large weapons they probably don't use properly if at all/spiky rainbow-hued giants/fleshy balls of muscle
    2. Or look at the scoreboard and (with a friend probably) vote kick the top player passed round 15 on easy, or round 25 on normal... then ditch the game to find another. This will not only troll the top player into a RAEG mode, but will screw over the other player(s) left in that game because there is only 1-2 people left and nobody can join late in the game.

So-called Elite channels

Echo 8 is a place where faggots who engage in faggotry go due to their xenophobic nature and egotistical fantasies of being "pro" at a poorly managed, aging game with bad graphics and gunfire registry problems (shots do not register damage).

Alpha 7 is a place where faggots who engage in faggotry go due to their tendency to hang out with other chinks who like them; only play S&D Black widow and TDM Ship.

Staff

The Z8games staff consist of the main game moderator called by his forum name '[GM]Saidin' he is a mentally retarded ginger haired 30 something (not round the waist) that does relatively nothing other than make useless events that give away useless stuff for 7 days, posts useless shit in the forum that only the mentally challenged believes and generally makes sure he maintains the status quo that being a very poorly run game.

The forum moderators are chosen by [GM]Saidin, this ginger haired retard picks the best forum trolls and dickryders who defend his company/portal no matter what regardless.

Then these former trolls/dickryders ie moderators who are little more than children find themselves to be in a position of a lot of power (although imaginary) as they can now delete/close threads.

So they do this in a epic fashion and enforce the GM's rules ie no talking about hacking even though the game is infested with southern american/brasilian hackers, no talking about the brasilian hacking population even though these players make up much of the hack population. And locking threads they do not like even though the thread poster broke no rules.

Weblinks

Crossfire homepage

Crossfire is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.